Wednesday, March 16, 2011

British Embassy - QE II Birthday Bash

I guess I shouldn't call it a "bash" because that term is too American.  It was a quiet, elegant reception.

Can I ask you something:  Why am I such an idiot?  I should know that these things are going to take place on the lawn.  I wear my cute 3.5" heels and then, I am poking spikes into the terrain all night.  I have leg cramps from standing on my tiptoes.  It huwts!  These embassies should pay me for aerating their lawns (ya know - it is the best way to keep your lawn healthy).  Perhaps it is yet another conspiracy... hmmmm.  The other ladies there told me that they were all wise to the need for flat shoes.  Some had been there before in heels and some within their group had even taken their shoes off.  I'm American.  They would spot me and brand me as a vulgar yank if I took my shoes off.  So, alas, I stood under a tree on the comfort of bricks where I would be sure that I wouldn't topple over (most likely into/onto some ambassador or VIP and end up on the front page of the newspapers with the title, "Vulgar Yank Takes Dive into Minister of Foreign Affairs As Impeded by Inappropriate Footwear...")

The British Embassy's lawn isn't as big as the American, but it is very nice. The weather was puuuuuuurfect and so was the ambiance and hospitality.  Those Brits sure do know how to throw down a par-teh.

I liked that Mrs. Baker walked right up and asked me (and the lady standing next to me) about the sound quality of the speeches from where we were standing.  She was so cool.  She wasn't flanked by bodyguards and was totally down to Earth.  She said that our honest feedback was good.  (Honey, I tell it like it is.)

I also liked that I saw our own lovely ambassador at a reception where she wasn't the headliner for the night; she was much more relaxed than I have seen her in a while.

US Ambassador Jones:  For the love of God, woman, WHAT are we going to do without you??? Don't goooooo!   I wish I hadn't seemed like such a simpleton the first, second, third... times I met her.  As my mother says, "A blithering idiot."  I guess I was just too intimidated and I don't make sense when I'm nervous at that level.  Now that I know what a down-to-Earth and approachable person she is, I feel like I wasted time.  We could have been buds.  We could have hung out.  Yeah, that's the ticket.  Well, okay, maybe we could have had an interesting conversation about interesting stuff like the Bedoon issue. I would love to hear what she thinks and where she sees it all going.  (You can still call me, girlfriend.  We can go down to Mubarakia and grab some shrimp hameesa and chai haleeb and hang out.)

I went to Her Majesty The Queen's Birthday party alone. I thought my friend who had invited me (I guess?) would be there, but she was out of the country (did you do that on purpose?).  I saw a few people I know, but really not that many.  When I'm alone, I tend to be somewhat of a trouble maker and I was in a terribly mischievous mood.  I was on my best behavior because they're BRITISH and they are very proper (unlike me) - although I didn't have to curtsy or anything like that; but I was still up to no good...  (Slaps, where the HELL are you when I need you?  You are the most proper friend I know and yet the most mischievous and you would have come in very handy!)

Let me say that the talent (men) was better at the US Embassy, although there were still some hotties at the British.  Because it was a smaller area,  you literally got to bump into them too (fun or not fun...). 'Ooooh, I am sooooo sorry...' (eyelash blink, eyelash blink, pout, pout).

I met my Sheikha friend's brother. You can tell from his pictures that he is a kind person, but in real life, all that positive energy just envelopes him.  Being the brash American I am, I plowed through the crowd to say hello (not exactly "tackling" him, but purty darn close).  How easy would it be to tackle someone on the British Embassy lawn, I wonder, wearing 3.5 inch heels, doing the ballerina dance on my tip toes?  Are you getting the visual?) Would it be rude to call my Sheikha friend's married brother "a hottie"?  Well, okay, gotta be honest - he's a HOT-TIE.  Yes, he is.  (Call me! We can go to Mubarakia on a different day than on my gal-date with the US Ambassador and we can hang out and have hameesa and chai haleeb while the weather is still good...)

... now I'm just cracking myself up...
Back to my story....

The Brits played classical music at their party while the Americans played a soft rock and oldies.  The Brits served Shepard Pies; the Americans served barbecue (and a lot more variety of foods - maybe because there was a larger area/more freeloaders - uh, I mean guests).  The Brits didn't serve alcohol (SHAME ON YOU!  Where is your national pride?!); the Americans served  (can I say it?  No, that wouldn't be PC and I might get someone's panties in a bunch.  I had a smoothie....)  They were different but equally nice.

I'm not prejudice just because I'm 'merican:  I belong to both the British and the American business associations and I like both very much.  The British Business Forum holds their meetings at the British Embassy which is nice.    

Thanks, British Embassy, for a really great evening and for outstanding hospitality.

and just so youse know ... I used up all that pent-up mischief on the way home on the Gulf Road, returning the air-kisses I received from boys in cars (I guess I was having a good hair/make-up day - or perhaps it was just something in the weather...)


Expat and the City said...

Glad you had fun. Lol, at blowing kisses on Gulf Road. You could have caused an accident! ;)

Who let this blogger out? said...

You were out celebrating Helen Mirren's birthday and the Duke wasn't even invited?! Not very nice.

Wonder if they still celebrate, what's her face - Brenda's birthday back in the UK where she is the purveyor(metaphorically, at least) for the Fourth Estate?
And you say there was no bitter served. Now to my mind,that's very un-English. Surely, the embassy British right are not being influenced by their Wahaabi cousins, I hope!

Have a good one Queenie! said...

Ya' know what I was there too. You looked resplendent in whatever it was you were wearing. I have been interning for a life style mag, and I was there with my insignificant other trading notes on who's dissing who and who's making out with who in the bushes behind the embassy lawns. We even caught someone on camera with their pants down, doing a quick Sir Ralph Fiennes as the party was progressing. Now that to my mind was certainly very British.

LWDLIK said...

Missed you again, darn! We had to decline due to unforseeable circumstances ;O) Yes have to agree with Who let this blogger out? Terribly unBritish not sure what came over them. A little tipple of some sort always makes other peple so much more interesting ;O)
To have a good one Queenie there have been worse things caught on their security own cameras. Take note they are everywhere LOL.