Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Yet another excuse for why there are so many accidents in Kuwait

I love how "they" (and I don't know who "they" is but just "they") blame everything but the true cause of accidents.

Here's what really causes accidents in Kuwait:  Speed, lack of law enforcement/fines, people who get their licenses via wastah and not by actually knowing how to drive, lack of drivers training, reckless drivers/repeat offenders who use wastah to get off and are back on the roads, etc.

Then there are those who want to outdo the Al-Jones' and buy their kid a hot car:   If you are going to buy your kid a high-speed sports car when he (usually he) is too young (30 and under?) to understand or care that speed kills, it isn't the kid's fault:  It is the parents.

Further.... (Just a few, fun Desert Girl pieces of advice)


  • It is NOT ok to reverse up an exit ramp.
  • It is NOT ok to cut across 3 lanes of traffic "just because"
  • It is NOT ok to zig-zag/weave in-and-out of lanes
  • It is NOT ok to tailgate:  putting your bumper so far up the ass-end of the  car in front of you that the other driver can see your tonsils.
  • It is NOT ok to talk on the phone (text, look for a Pokemon) with your kid on your lap, smoking a cigarette while driving.
  • It is NOT ok to make 4 lanes out of 1 or 2.


Also, if you're a dumbass and don't maintain your car, that's another reason for accidents and break-downs.  Tires are important in Kuwait, oil changes, checking the water and cooling system, brake pads...  (Your stupid Sworovski crystal rear-view mirror charm is NOT the most important aspect of your car.)

They were blaming foreigners for the high rate of traffic accidents just five minutes ago.  Now this from the Arab Times:

High rate of traffic accidents in Kuwait tied to ‘fake car parts

KUWAIT CITY, July 16: Deaths recorded in motor accidents in Kuwait reached 429 in 2015 while 461 cases were recorded in 2014. In this context, several citizens and expatriates have attributed the high rate of traffic accidents in Kuwait to widespread of fake car parts.

A Kuwaiti man Ali Jaber asserted that fake car parts from China and Korea as well as some Arab countries have flooded the Kuwaiti market in an unbelievable manner. He stressed that many motorists are forced to buy fake parts considering the high cost of the originals, knowing well it is detrimental to the performance of their cars and shortens their lifespan.  (DG note, then buy a frickin Toyota if you can't afford the maintenance on a Merc, dumbasses!  "Forced" ha!)

“I never source for fake parts for my cars no matter the condition, in order to avoid putting myself in danger of accidents. Another respondent Subhi Imam indicated he sometimes purchases fake car parts because the original is expensive. He cited a particular spare part sold is for about KD 12 but he gets the fake one for KD 2 or less. In his comment, Mohamed Abdul Ali said his cousin burnt the interior of his car about two years ago because he used a fake electrical part, and the end result was deadly. 


Also, mechanical engineer Adel Al-Hamoud indicated the widespread of fake car parts in Kuwait is a dangerous trend. He premised his account on the fact that materials used in manufacturing fake spare parts are recycled more than once, and they are not clean. Therefore, they are easy to break.

A lesson in Mut'a (temporary) Marriage - Repost from American Girl's World Blog

I guess today I'm just not being very creative because I'm just hijacking other blogger's information.  American Girl is a friend who used to live in Kuwait and now lives in North Carolina with her husband and a family of Salukis they are raising.  I love her perspective - and just really like her in general.  Here is what she had to say about temporary marriage with a response from one of her readers.  I thought I would pass it along.  Some might find it informative. It is an interesting read.

Here goes...


Several times a week I get emails from readers who are involved in relationships with Muslim men and are often seeking advice on religion, culture, tradition, and how the three tie into one another — if at all. Many of them are also seeking advice on marriage and whether or not he’s ‘serious’ when he asks her to consider marrying him. Obviously I don’t have all the answers and never claimed to be a professional in the field of intercultural marriages, so I simply share information based on my experience and hope that helps.

A topic I recently realized I have never covered is Mut’a Marriage. And based on a few emails I’ve gotten as of late, I figured now would be the best time to touch on this.

My experience with Mut’a is pretty much nonexistent. It’s something (from what I understand) that is practiced among the Shia’a Muslims and not so much anymore within the Sunni community. Someone please correct me if I’m wrong. I’m basing this information off of friends in Kuwait and the UAE who are both Sunni and Shia’a. Therefore, I would love to hear from any readers who have been involved in a Mut’a Marriage in hopes of helping out some of the women who might be reading this and could use that guidance.

It’s my understanding Mut’a is a ‘temporary marriage’ where a woman agrees to be a man’s wife for a specified period of time and can then participate in all things husbands and wives participate in; ie. sex. There is no dowry involved, no additional benefits, no financial gain (unless he agrees to pay her a certain amount), and no support upon divorce. Some of these marriages last as short as a few days and some can be a lifetime I suppose. As far as their legality, I know they’re not recognized in the US as our marriages (to be legal) must be documented in a court. A Mut’a Marriage is simply an agreement between a man and woman. I don’t believe there’s any paperwork involved. However, I do believe it’s a fairly common practice for boyfriends and girlfriends as a way to eliminate any Islamic guilt. You know… have sex, pretend you’re married, and Allah doesn’t know any better. No offense intended. Just keeping it real.

That being said, if you’re one of the women who have written me about your boyfriend asking to marry you ‘temporarily’ to ‘test’ out how a real marriage would be, maybe that’s not exactly what he means. It’s possible he has a strong desire to have sex with you but his religious guilt is telling him to ‘do the right thing’ and ‘marry’ you. Of course the real right thing would be to respect you as a woman and keep it in his pants. But, chances are, you’re unaware of his culture and what is and is not permitted in his religion. He can pretty much tell you anything and you’ll pretty much believe it. And of course, once he starts throwing the idea of marriage around, it makes it all that much more appealing. And, well, ‘real’ in your mind.

Do your homework, ladies. And keep your panties on while you’re studying 

Comment:
Anonymous

Muta’a is the Shiite version of temporary marriage, but there is also “misiaar” for Sunnis. Misiaar is a form of temporary marriage when a man travels (supposedly for a long period of time at a location far away from his wife, but more recently people have been bending the rules on this one). I don’t know the details of Misiaar marriages. Neither of these forms of marriage are accepted by legal entities (governments) and are done without witnesses, making them secret arrangements (at the discretion of the couple to tell people or not).

“Orfi” marriage is by contract with witnesses and presided over by an Islamic cleric. Both the man and woman sign the marriage contract. This form of marriage can be approved by legal entities if the couple takes the contract to court (or if the woman becomes pregnant).

I’ve been “temporarily” (“muta’a”) married several times; for very short-term and two that lasted over 5 years each. I didn’t seek the arrangements – it was because the boyfriend asked for it (and in one case, although muta’a is a Shiite Muslim belief, my Bedouin Sunni Muslim boyfriend asked me to marry him muta’a as it made him feel better/less guilty). In the case of both of the long-term arrangements, I was the one who didn’t want to get married in court for different reasons. But – I was educated before I went into it.

I’m not a Shiite Muslim. I don’t believe in the “sanctity” of temporary marriage; but I do believe in commitment and temporary marriage takes the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship to a different level, just by stating that you commit to that person for a period of time. (How many boyfriends can actually put a time limit commitment on your relationship or are willing to commit to anything at all?) You are saying vows out loud which makes it deeper somehow (at least in my experience and maybe I’m romanticizing something that is really just a pretend marriage?). All good and no judgement as long as everybody is in agreement and knows what it is and that it isn’t meant to last forever.

So, how do you get married via muta’a? The man recites a statement and the woman responds with a statement (I can’t remember the exact words). There is a mahar (dowry). It is usually symbolic (like a quarter dinar), however, the woman can ask for whatever she wants (and trust me when I tell you that NO man asking you to get temporarily married will educate you on this fact). In my long-term arrangements, I asked for rings (if you want me to take this seriously, then be serious). (But if you need a new refrigerator and a new set of tires, you can throw that in there – whatever you want.) In the statement, you insert the mahar amount (or material thing) and the duration of the agreement.
In my long-term temporary marriages, other people knew we were married (however non-traditional/controversial it may have sounded to others). Short-term marriages were basically for fun so the guys didn’t feel guilty about sinning. Whatever. There is no formal “divorce.” And – like other forms of marriage in Islam, the guy can marry several wives so you don’t know if he is temporarily married to other women at the same time. Muta’a within Arab circles is usually only done when a woman is divorced (meaning she is no longer a virgin).

My advice to your readers who are asking questions about the possibility of marriage to their Muslim boyfriend: There is no “try before you buy” in Islam. Ask him direct questions: Specifically, what type of marriage do you want? If the guy is serious about a “forever” commitment and wants you, tell him to get serious: put his mother on the phone with you. Tell him what you want. A reception? Flowers? Your family? His family? But get a marriage license first. AND – make sure that you know about the marriage contract before doing anything. If you don’t add in the contract that you want half of the house and/or alimony (specific amount) on divorce, you are going to be left with nothing. It MUST be in the marriage contract.


Know Your Rights in Kuwait (Re-Post from Kuwaitiful Blog)

Kuwaitiful did such a wonderful job of listing  little-known-rights facts that I am reposting it here. I've been here 20 years and some of the information he's listed was news to me.

Here goes....

Video: Link
If a cop stops your car and asks you to open your car’s trunk to inspect, you can politely tell him not to proceed until he shows you permission from the “Bublic Prosecution“.

Video: Link
A cop approaches you to investigate or arrest you but wasn’t wearing his cop uniform, do you have to comply? Yes but only if he shows you his identification card.

Video: Link
If you were going through financial hardship and wanted to write a check with a date in the future (to avoid the person cashing the check today) would that be permissible? No, the bank by law is obliged to cash a check if it is handed to them.

Video: Link
If you rented an apartment or a house for 1 year, you are qualified by law to extend the rent for up to 5 years. The owner cannot kick you out before then.

Video: Link
If you purchased a used car with a document from a company saying the car is functional with no problems and the car turns out to have issues you have the right to go back to that company and demand compensation.

Video: Link
If you have comprehensive car insurance on your car (the one that covers you whether the accident was your fault or not) and you make a fake accident document to cash in, you will face 7 years of jail time.

Video: Link
If you use a fake fingerprint item to register a co-worker on the attendance machine you will get fired and face jail time.

Video: Link
In most cases, you will have to bring your witnesses because no one else will order them to attend for you and if you don’t you increase your chances of losing your case.

Video: Link
If you wanted to lend someone money, if it’s less than KD 5,000, there should be a witness(es) but if it’s more than KD 5,000 then there must be a written contract stating you have lent him the amount or else you won’t be able to file a case against him if he refuses to pay you back.

Video: Link
If a crime was taking place, and you were standing next to the people doing the crime while they were doing it then you are considered a partner in that crime and might face jail time.

Video: Link
If you work at a bank and you took a loan from that bank, the bank cannot charge you an interest fee regardless of how large the loan is or how long it will take you to pay it back.

Video: Link
If you accuse someone of a crime that wasn’t registered against him/her by the law, you might face jail time that goes up to 2 years.

Video: Link
Every person has the right to exchange an item they purchased within 5 days if the item was damaged. It is against the law to have a store stating an item cannot be exchanged or refunded.

Video: Link
A crime can be as simple as throwing water at someone. If someone assaulted you they can get up to 3 months to 10 years of jail time. If you get physically harmed go to the hospital first, get proof that you have been assaulted then go file a case at the police station with proof.

Video: Link
When you receive a check, you have 4 months to go to a bank and cash in the check from the day the check was issued. If the issuer of the check had insufficient funds in his bank account, you can submit a complaint to the prosecution (you have 4 months to do so, else your submission will be void).

Video: Link
You have the right to pay your rent fees of where you reside anytime before the 20th of that same month. If you pass the 20th and haven’t paid rent yet the owner has the right to file for your departure. If you pay before the 20th of the month and the owner refuses to accept your payment, you should file a complaint to the government so that he wouldn’t force you to leave the apartment for good on the basis of not paying your rent fees.

Video: Link
Having a weapon without an official licence can get you jail time of 5 years. Even just having ammunition of a weapon without an official licence will get you in jail. I say having instead of owning because just having a weapon with you will get you prosecuted, you don’t need to own it.

Video: Link
If someone physically attacked you (either male or female), you have the right to attack back to defend yourself. Part of self-defense is not over-exaggerating, if someone pushes you for example you cannot go and stab him on the basis of self-defense. If you do so, that will get you prosecuted.

Video: Link
If you beat someone up and that person dies as a result of his/her wounds but it was proven you did not have the intention of killing that person, you will face 10 years of jail time.

Video: Link
Sometimes you rent a place and find something is damaged, it can be in the AC, Elevator etc (something leaking for example). The owner must pay for fixing what was damaged, if the owner refuses to pay you can take permission from the government to fix it and have him pay for it.

Video: Link
If you own a house and you’re renting part of it while one of the people you’re renting to is noisy and disrupts other neighbors. You can then as the owner of the house file a submission to force him to leave for good. You will need in this situation to have witnesses and they have to be neighbors of that apartment.

Video: Link
If you take a photo of someone that does not want you to take of a photo of them, you will face 2 years of jail time. If you also share their photo with others or make it available online, then you face 3 years of jail time. This should make you think twice before taking a photo of someone without their consent.

Video: Link
Any Kuwaiti that is registered in a company he doesn’t work in to receive the monthly labor support salary from the government will face up to 7 years of jail time if caught as well is paying back all the money he illegally received.

Video: Link
If you accuse someone of a crime and it later turns out the accuser knew the accused did not do the crime, then the accuser will face 2 years of jail. I would guess this also applies when a girl falsely accuses a guy of rape.

Video: Link
If a person falsely called the fire department, or the police to report a crime, or accident and in reality there was no such thing. This person faces 3 years of jail time plus all expenses endured by the government for his actions.

Video: Link
If you purchased a car outside Kuwait and went to the local dealership and they refused to service your car or asked you to open a profile with their company first and pay a fee, this company has went against the law. You can then file a complaint against them at the Ministry of Commerce to get your issue resolved.

Video: Link
There are some that open a commercial license then rent it to someone else. This is considered illegal by law.

Video: Link
There’s a government sector that deals with complaints. Any girl that files a complaint of someone threatening to make her images public or recorded conversations, she will be taken seriously and with complete privacy.

Video: Link
It used to be when you go to a store and bought a product on discount, you wouldn’t have the right to return it. The rules applied have changed, you can now exchange the product within 14 days of purchase.

Video: Link
If you find out at the end of the month that your Telecom provider has billed you for services you never used or even knew you had, you can file a complaint at the Consumer Protection sector (call 135).

Image: Link
You can put ‘No Parking’ signs in your private property but at the same time you are not allowed to damage or harm any cars that park in your property. Instead, you let the police deal with it.

Video: Link
Any restaurant that has a minimum order or has service charges is not permissible in Kuwait. If you end up dealing with any of the two you can file a complaint at the Consumer Protection sector (call 135) and if you win the case you can ask for a refund on the money that you were unjustly charged for.I remember I was in Fridays once and when we got the check, there was a big service charge so when we asked them to remove it because it’s not legal they said our lawyers said it was okay to keep it and we ended up paying for it. This was at least 5 years ago so I can’t remember the exact scenario, what I remember for certain is they refused to remove the service charge.

Video: Link
If you have a relative that is addicted to drugs, don’t wait until he gets caught and jailed for possession of drugs. You can instead file a complaint (for his/her own good) at the drugs department and they will open a file for him there and treat him as a sick patient, a case will not be filed against him.

Video: Link
If you resign from your job and qualify for end of service benefits while during your job you used to get a bonus end year salary every year then the end of service benefits must also include the bonus with your salary.

Video: Link
If you took your car to the dealership for maintenance. The dealership is obliged to give you a paper that includes maintenance duration, what will they need to fix and what are things that will be replaced if any.

Video: Link
Most car dealerships tell you if you do your maintenance outside their dealership it will void your warranty. This is incorrect, you can by law do your maintenance anywhere as long as they abide to using the correct equipment for maintaining your car

Image: Link
If you wanted to sue someone don’t do it a while later, you have to file a lawsuit as soon as possible because every dispute has a limit of days if passed and you still haven’t sued, then you can’t file for a lawsuit.

Video: Link
Many think if you curse someone without mentioning their name then that person can’t sue you for damages. That isn’t true, if you curse someone with information leading to that person than they can sue you on that basis.

Video: Link
If you go to a store and give back your product then ask for a refund while the store says we can’t give you a refund in cash but you can purchase anything from us with the same amount, that store has gone against a law because they are forced by law to refund you with cash.

Video: Link
Expensive items such as diamonds and watches can be returned within 24 hours if on the receipt it mentions the 24 hour duration. If it doesn’t mention that duration then you have the right to return the item within 14 days.

Read more: http://kuwaitiful.com/information/know-your-rights-in-kuwait-parts-1-6/#ixzz4EprFDKSi



Sunday, July 03, 2016

Tenancy Case Continues...

Now I am Lawyer #4.  I've decided to pursue the case only because it amounted to psychological terrorism and I'm not willing to back down.  I am sure that asstard is doing the same to other tenants - maybe even as I'm writing this.

I have met with some of THE most unethical people in my life during the past year.  I invested time and money to people who led me down the wrong path; who knowingly referred me to work with a law STUDENT when they knew that the creature I was signing a contract with was not in fact an actual lawyer.  I paid that lawyer out on the recommendation of the same person, only to be misled yet again on her referral of Lawyers #3; changing the terms and conditions for payment and contract signing after 4 months of having my power of attorney.  Really?  (How long does it take go go get police reports?!  It took me 4-5 hours each time to document the police reports and not one lawyer can just obtain them?)  Anyhoo, this person lives in its own little world, believing its own BS, so I should have known.  Well, my fault for trusting someone with so little ethics and moral fortitude.   You want to believe people, but you learn.   Que sera.

Bygones.  As AHE says, "That was in the past." (He thinks "in the past" is even a day ago, but he's right.)

#4 is a guy who I am not going to pay until he gets the job done; money in hand.  From what I've been told by a Sheikh friend, "He's a magician in the ministries."  So maybe he'll be my lucky charm. Who knows?  Nothing to lose on this one.

I just know that this whole thing has been a learning process.  I've lost a few false friends over it and I really don't have any regrets because its all for the best.  God shows you who your real friends are, and blesses you when you find out who they are not.


Tuesday, June 21, 2016

K9 Massacre in Kuwait

(Note that I am adding links to articles that are appearing almost on a daily basis now around the Globe at the end of this post.)




This has been all over social media and the written press is just starting to take a look at it.  It happened on June 17, 2016,  at a facility in/near Mina Abdullah that had a contract with KNPC.  According to the story and various sources, supposedly 24 dogs (but as many as 40)  were killed when the company lost it's contract - apparently in a form of revenge.

There are still 91 dogs at the facility and everyone is very concerned for them.

Kuwait Animal Rescue Unit Q8 can be found on Instagram KARUQ8 if you wish to follow their progress.

Note that I have not mentioned the name of the company nor it's owner/management because it would be illegal to do so in Kuwait.  However, you can read any of the internationally-published stories to learn more.





Articles (Local and International):

Ladies Who Do Lunch Blog posted HERE.

Arab Times:  Outrage as Dogs Culled Article HERE.

Al-Qabas Article HERE:

The president of the company has been in trouble before:  CorpWatch Article

Mission K-9 Rescue Article 

Retired Military Working Dogs Article

Facebook site HERE.

Kuwait Times HERE.   KNPC Clarifies

Daily Express (UK) HERE.

New York Post HERE.  (REALLY good/detailed article.)

New York Post #2 HERE.  And oooooh - this one has his photo!

Snopes.com HERE


I am saddened, sickened, and distressed by this. I go home and look at my own German Shepherd and wonder how anyone could be so evil and cold-hearted to such wonderful creatures.  They will do anything for you for just a little love.

To all of you working to help in this case, God Bless You and keep up the good fight.

June 26, 2016 Appeal for Help


Friday, June 17, 2016

Blame and shame

I saw this on Facebook and thought it was good enough to repost. I don't know the original source. Hate and negativity is infectious these days. Good to take a minute to think. Where has the compassion in our society gone?

-------------

Copied from another site:

Copied from another post -

Parents, I beg of you, stop blaming and shaming other parents.

35 years ago, a mom shopping in a Sears department store went to go look at lamps, and left her six year old with another group of boys, who were all trying out the new Atari game at a kiosk. That boy’s name was Adam Walsh.

30 years ago, an 18 month old toddler playing in her aunt’s backyard fell into a well. Rescuers worked nonstop for 58 hours, finally freeing “Baby Jessica” from the well.

In both cases a tragedy happened, an unforeseen tragic accident took place which left Adam  dead, and a toddler fighting for her life deep underground. But they also has something else in common; they had an entire  country of moms and dads supporting the grieving parents.

Let me repeat that, EVERYONE SUPPORTED THE RESCUE EFFORTS WITHOUT BLAME. NO BLAME. None. ZERO.

No questions asked, not one single “Where were the parents?” comment. Just a country of other moms and dads, grandmas and grandpas watching in horror as a set of parents, one of their own, went through the unthinkable. Adam was our son. Jessica was our baby daughter.

THOSE PARENTS WERE US.

Flash forward to 2016, the year of THE PERFECT PARENT.

Yesterday, a two year old boy, splashing in the magical lakefront waters of a Disney Resort, succumbed to the wilds of mother nature. An aggressive alligator scooped him out of the water, right under the watch of his father, who attempted to fight with the alligator to free his baby son. Pure horror. Sheer Terror. Parents who actually had to watch their baby be taken from them, as if they were in some African nature documentary.

A tragic and unforeseeable accident. An accident.

I weep for this mother and father. I am sick with anguish for the pain, agony, misery, and regret pulsating through their viens this very second. And I bet you are too.

But not everyone is.

You see, we now live in a time where accidents are not allowed happen. You heard me. Accidents, of any form, in any way, and at any time, well, they just don’t happen anymore.

Why? Because BLAME and SHAME.

Because we have become a nation of BLAMERS and SHAMERS.

And how are accidents allowed to happen if we can’t blame someone? Surly, they can’t, right? I mean, random acts of nature, unpreventable tragedies, and fateful life changing events that take place in a matter of nanoseconds cannot possibly take place if everyone is being a responsible parent, right? NOPE.

They can’t,  because this country and its population of perfect pitchfork carrying mothers and fathers sitting behind keyboards needs to accuse. They NEED TO BLAME, to disparage, to criticize in every damn way and at every damn corner, the parenting of another.

And when do they really get to lick their blaming chops? When a tragic accident happens.  That’s when the pouncing is at its freshest, when raw emotion and ignorance collide, and they dig their word claws in, and take hold of whatever grace these grieving mothers and fathers have left in their souls.

And then they tear it out.

Listen to me very clearly perfect parents, VERY CLEARLY.

I’VE HAD ENOUGH.

 I’ve had enough of scrolling through comment threads and seeing over and over again questions like “Where were the parents?” and thoughts like, “This is what happens when you don’t watch your kids.”

I have simply HAD ENOUGH.

I have one question for the blaming and shaming moms and dads. You know the ones who immediately  blame the parents, the ones who go on the internet and type comments like, “This is nothing but neglect by the parents,” and  “They should have known better. Who was watching that little boy?”  and my favorite, “I would never let that happen to my kid.”

Here is my question,

Have you ever been to a child’s funeral before?

I have.

The funeral of a child is an event in life that you never, ever want to experience.

Now let me ask you another question.

In the coming week these parents will fly back to their home in Nebraska without one of their children. They will leave a vacation resort, packing up his Buzz Lightyear pajamas and his favorite blanket, and they will make an excruciatingly difficult journey home. A journey that they never in a million years thought they would be making.

They will meet with a funeral director, pick out a tiny casket, a tiny burial suit, and surrounded by family,  they will bury their baby boy.

And they will suffer every single day for the rest of their life.

At the funeral for this two year boy who died in front of his parents, can you do me a favor? Can you walk up to the mother and say the words that you just typed out last week? Can you? Can you greet her, hug her, shake the father’s hand and then say, “ Who was watching that little boy? You should have known better. I would never let that happen to MY child.”

Can you do that for me? I mean, you felt those words so deeply in your heart and soul that you typed them for a million people to read. Certainly you can say it straight to the faces of  the people you meant it for, right?

Here, let me help you.

Put away your pitchfork for a moment and try this.

To the mother and father who went for a walk on vacation for the last time with their little boy yesterday, I am deeply sorry that you had to experience the worst kind of tragedy possible, an accident. I grieve with you. Your baby was my baby. Your son was my son. I have nothing but love for you,  love to help you get though the pain yesterday, today, and for what is gonna seem like a thousand tomorrows. I wrap my thoughts  and prayers around your aching heart and soul. May the God of this universe in some miraculous  way bring peace to you and your family.

That is what you say. THAT. And just THAT.

Stop the blaming.

Stop the shaming.

In their darkest hours, can we please just LOVE other parents. Please?

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

New Facebook Group

Facebook ate my Desert Girl account and all its contents about a year ago.  I just started a new public Facebook Group called Desert Girl on Kuwait.  So please join and add info!

Desert Girl on Kuwait
https://www.facebook.com/groups/258391941192494/

Sunday, June 05, 2016

Devil Children


So yesterday, I was with a friend and we took his yacht (shut up - I am NOT making this up) to a secluded area with no people around to enjoy a PEACEFUL day swimming.  We had some music playing and we were just swimming around with no boats around.  There were some jet skiis far away, but most of them didn't come close to the boat... except for one ashhole kid who circled around the boat and got within feet of us, only to spray us with water. He was so close that he could have hit either one of us.   He had this angry, evil look on his face.

The stories you hear lately out of Kuwait about "children" (demons) torturing animals and stabbing people and harassing women in malls...  WTF!

I was in Mahboula (aka "New Jack City") the other day and witnessed an almost-accident between a gentleman-looking Kuwaiti in an Escallade and (get this shit) at 11-12 year old driving a mini-van.  The "driver" of the mini van was waving for the Escallade (in the right) to back up.  Holy snap!  With attitude too???  Thankfully, the Kuwaiti man was responsible and stopped the boy.  I was secretly hoping that he was an undercover cop!

What is wrong with people?  Are they raising demons?  Is no one taking responsibility for these horrible small people?  It is infuriating.  And guess what - if you raise an asshole, you are going to get an asshole adult who does terrible things to YOU, the parent, not just the community.   Karma, biotches!


Wednesday, June 01, 2016

#‎Speakout: A message from Kuwait Child's Rights Society @kcrsgroup

#‎Speakout.. if you see a child being abused in front of you.. #speakout if a child tells you she's been beaten and asks for your help.. #speakout if you have a bad feeling that something is wrong.. #speakout because if you don't.. if you say it's none of my business.. your silence might cost a child's precious life.
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A message from Kuwait Child's Rights Society @kcrsgroup
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Here are the Kuwait National Child Protection Program's Ministry of Health SCAN team hotlines:

Sabah health area 98010172
Hawalli health area 98010173
Ahmadi health area 98010174
Capital health area 98010175
Farwaniya health area 98010176

Jahra health area 98010177

DG Random Thoughts on Friendship: 2016 Version

Buckle up, buttercup.  Why am I being so philosophical lately?  Is there something in the stars?  Whutup?  Well... whatever... here it is...

A real friend stopped by last night.  I have known him for about 15 years.  He's a good and decent person and reminds me of what that means exactly.  He also elevates me - which is what a real friend should do (not bring you down).   He IS the kind of person I could call in the middle of the night with a problem (even though he's married and has kids and an incredibly demanding job - one of the most demanding in the country, no joke).  He's That Guy.

I have other friends that I can count on like that.  Bunny, for example.  And then there's Creed Man. And Kaz, of course.  KAC Girl and Ms. New York.  They call out of the blue just to check on me. Not because they need something, but because of a genuine interest in how I'm doing. (I love you guys by the way.)

Fair Weather Friends

Friendship is a 2-way street. So is loyalty (of all kinds).   I don't drop friends at the closure  of an opportunity period and I  expect them not to drop me, but it happens and I feel like I'm on the receiving end; sometimes after years of supporting the needy and drama-ridden.

And I really must learn (after all these years inside my own head) to listen to my inner voice.  If you don't think that someone genuinely likes you (or isn't sincere with you)  they probably don't/aren't. Takers are always going to take.  Givers are always going to give.  We're all different.  Know when to walk away from the takers.  This has been a difficult lesson for me to learn, but I have started by identifying who they are and then learning to cease the giving.  Of time.  Of resources. Of attention. Of thoughts. Of energy.

Sidebar:  I haven't been able to read tarot cards in almost a year because of all the negative energy around me.  I have been through a cleansing process/reflection/meditation and I'm finally getting back to ME.

It's karma, bitches

I learned this from my sister
(who has helped MANY)
Here is my personal belief/creed:  You do the best you can for people; whatever it takes.  Give of your time, of yourself, and whatever you can spare. Know that you've done the right thing to the best of your ability.  Some of my friends over the years have eluded to the "doormat" theory; that maybe I'm "too nice" or give too much.  F that. (And it has taken me a long time to be able to say that with confidence;  without questioning if I am too nice/soft or not.)   I feel good about myself and I'm an EFNJ so it makes me happy when I can help. I am who I am and I am happy with who I am. (As my dad said, "Follow your heart and you will never go wrong.")  IF I get taken advantage of by people who don't share the same values as I do, that is between them and their God, their karma.  I have been blessed in SO MANY ways and I know it. I know that it is coming back around.

Gratitude

I also believe in the power of gratitude.  To me, showing gratitude isn't about that one person. You're not necessarily giving thanks only to the person or people who have done you a kindness; but you're thanking God in the process.  Gratitude is a powerful thing and I think my mother instilled that in me at an early age ("Always write a thank you note.")  It has stayed with me.  "You don't need to thank me, it's just my job."  Uh yeah, I do too need to thank you.  It isn't about just you.  It goes into the Universe as love.  Flowers, thank you notes, blog posts to recommend people who have given me great services.  It all goes into the same pot:  Gratitude.

So why do some people find it so hard to do?  Why do they feel like they have to get one over on you?  No one should do something for the reason of receiving gratitude.  But when it doesn't come after you've really tried hard to sincerely make someone happy or comfortable, it is painful.

I love entertaining.  I used to have gatherings at my home (big place in Rumaithiya).  Went on for years every Friday night - "Desert Girl Diwaniya";  and every Saturday morning, I was alone with a mess to clean up and no one to help me. I invited all kinds of people, friends, friends of friends, people I didn't know.  Different Fridays; different types of people.  Some were not very nice to me; sometimes just walking in without even bothering to introduce themselves. Some were not nice to my dog ("koshing offense" leading to being kicked out of my home).    How many invitations did I receive in return: Maybe over the course of 3 years: 3 invitations.  And not by the people I considered my "real friends" from my inner circle who frequented the gatherings the most.  You know - the ones who drank all my refreshments and never returned the favor;   Those ones.  Where are all those people now?  Oh, the refreshments ran out and apparently so did the "friendships."  I invite very few people into my home now - and they better be good, sincere friends from the heart or they're not welcome (including those who don't like my dog).

If people are trying to bring you down, it only means that you're above them

Recently, bad-friend-trend has been to try to belittle me or elevate themselves somehow to show me up. Yes yes, you are so much more important, have so much more professional experience and knowledge. Education.  Money.  Whatever.  You are so much "better" than me in so many ways.  . Good luck with all that.  I don't care.  I honestly don't.  Good for you.  I'm happy for  you.  I wish you the best.  However, my advice would be:  Just don't forget to be grateful to the people who have helped you move to the next step in your journey.  Don't turn your back because you never know what might be coming up later behind you.  It all comes back around.  And sincere people will always be able to spot fakers.



"I'm busy" isn't an excuse with me. I'm busy too.  I'm not too busy for real friends. And real friends are never too busy for me.  And guess what?  The next time you call me for something, fair-weather friend, I am probably too busy to talk to you.  I'm far too important to my self worth.

When you introduce your friend to a friend and then they become friends and forget you

Mean girls suck. 
I've written about this before:  Introducing friends to friends who then become close friends and forget you.  It has happened throughout the course of my blogging journey.  I introduce people (statistically, those who I have met through the blog with people in my "real" life) and then they get along great; which I am very happy about until.... they forget me in the process.  My thought process on this one:  I assign the same importance to friendships that I would in a love relationship:  If you are cheating on me with her and have to make a decision between both of us; choose her, because if I was really that important to you, there wouldn't be a decision and you would still be calling me or hanging with me.  Just don't expect me to be there for you later. 'I'm too busy.'

I bet you think this post is about you

Now, what I said in my previous post about not being able to write about the juicy stuff because too many friends and acquaintances know who I am:  The people I am depicting in this story are "too busy or too important" to bother with me or my little blog,  I'm sure. (Ironically, that is how I met several friends as I've said.)  In the off chance that they do read this - great!   If we had spoken like mature adults (or wait - actual friends), they would already understand the way I feel and wouldn't be reading about it here.

The moral of this story is   

We all go through this process in our lives.  I think women more often than men because we over-analyze everything and tend to be more emotional about our relationships.  At least, that is what I think from a female-biased perspective.  (Maybe not in the Arab world... ha.)  If you are in the middle of a reflection process, you're not alone.  Others go through the same thing.

I was just talking to my handsome friend about this last night.  It seems like the older we get, the more important decent, kind, sincere friends become to us.   Those are the ones to hang onto when our circles get smaller.  To keep in touch with.  Not everyone is going to stay on your ride with you.

In gratitude, thank you for reading down this far and helping me with my therapy.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Desert Girl Kuwait Dating Update

I haven't posted anything personal in a while because... well... too many of my close friends and associates know who I am and it is hard to tell a really good story these days.

I will throw out a few little tidbits.

I have taken a hiatus from dating.  I have become really tired of the goods ("the odds are good, but the goods are odd.")  I'm just not impressed anymore.  Well, let me rephrase that - no one has taken the effort to impress me.  Maybe I'm just wiser and more jaded.  I dunno.


Maybe the world has changed too much too fast.  I'm not into "hooking up."  I'm not into manboys who invite themselves to MY home.  If I do agree - even on a friendship basis - they come empty handed.  There's no honor, no etiquette.  No steps towards a healthy relationship.

The closest I've come to real dating (like dinners and a movie or other activities) lately is with real friends (great steaks, Bunny!) and that's it.  Plus romantic moonlit walks with my dog (who I actually prefer the company of these days...).

So on to the anecdotal Kuwait dating stories...

Bachelor #1.  Drop dead gorgeous.  I had seen him over the course of maybe a year and a half. I always thought he was married;  He has that air about him.  I never asked even though he knows many of my friends.  He finally made a move and on my birthday (well, the days following) invited me to his farm and bought me a birthday cake.  I really like the guy (to this day - wish things could be different).  But.... after a romantic evening of cake and farm (and NOT in the sitting area where cake should be served - nothing happened.  Cake served only.)  stopped calling and relinquished me to the friend zone.  Huh?  What was that all about?  Tried again when we both were in Dubai (separately) and the only time he could see me was after 1 am.  Uh... Hel-luuur.  There are plenty of Russian prostitutes in Dubai that are actually active at that time of night, but that does not apply to me.  I was at a comfortable hotel with a pillow menu.  I wasn't going anywhere.

Bachelor #2.  Long conversations first online and then over the phone.  I would prefer to get to know someone first before meeting. Saves time and trouble.  In this case, it was a wise choice. Invited himself to my house.  'Sorry but no.'  Told me that "when we are girlfriend and boyfriend, I insist to help you with expenses.  It is just the way I am."  I'm thinking, honorable, but not quite the stuff phone conversations are made of.  Plus - I don't need anyone's money and it makes me feel like someone else is trying to control me.  Awk-ward.  He insisted on coming over to meet me "just for 5 minutes." followed by, "The holy month is coming up and we won't be able to see each other very often."   What?!  Nuh uh. (Sounds like we are already IN a relationshit...)  Anyhooser, continued the conversations.  I offered to meet him somewhere for coffee or dinner.  "Sure.  When we are in Dubai or anywhere outside of Kuwait."  Oh.No.He.Di.Int.  So basically homeboy wants to keep me in the house (MY hosue), pay my rent, and not be seen in public with me.  He he.  Good one. If I wanted to be a kept woman I would never have worked to begin with.  Buh byyyyye.  (And I thought I was the girl in the relationship.)  If it is that way, please go ask mommy to find you a wife; more expensive, perhaps, but at least you can both go out in daylight together.

Bachelor #3.  Asked me for 120 KD to get his car fixed.  Ha ha. That's a good one.  Made pay-my-rent dude look semi-normal.

Bachelor #4.    Bachelor #4 and I were getting along ok, but for some reason, I decided to dump him and since my BFF who keeps all my dating notes was outside of Kuwait, I couldn't ask her what happened.  (If you ever piss me off,  you need to make friends with my BFF because I can't remember shit and she keeps track of all my dirt.  She usually reminds me because my memory is so bad).  Anyhooser, I couldn't remember what it was about him that made me so angry. I do remember we had a nice meal together... he had a nice car... Oh yeah... but there it was:  ARROGANCE.  He knows everything AND he doesn't like dogs (deal breaker.  Find your own way to the door!). Furthermore, I don't like people who think that I have no opinion on Kuwait.  Why talk trash about fellow Kuwaitis? "Bedouins are ruining this country.  Shiites are trying to take over.... Yada yada.  shutthefuckup!  Racism within a country that is the size of New Jersey.  Sigh.   Plus - he had been dating a friend of mine in the interim and went into detail about her and I can't tell her and feel bad about it.  Anyways, the ONE time I invite him over (and he arrives empty handed, of course!) he calls just prior to arrival and says, "Is your dog going to be there? (WTF of COURSE - he lives there!!!) Would you put him somewhere?"  How bout I put YOU somewhere?  (like on the curb.)

(If you're read down this far, just know that 1-5 didn't all happen in a matter of a month.  I'm spreading this out over the past year plus for effect, ok?).

Bachelor #5.  Nice dinner.  Smelled good.  A little on the small side for a man, but I am not as picky as I used to be.  Good job as a banker.  Very polite....  until..... Dick pic.  WHYYYY????  Another female blogger sums it up HERE and speaks very nicely for the masses who have been on the receiving end of such a "gift" as a wonder worm.  As she says, "...But let me make one thing clear: seeing a digitized image of your dork does about as much for me sexually as watching my cat vomit and then eat it."  I don't need to go into further detail.  Some girls get second dates;  Some girls get penis photos.  (Why are mild-mannered bankers always the freaky ones?!)

Speaking of bankers....

This didn't happen recently (maybe almost 2 years ago), but I will tell you the story anyways because it is funny.  Chairman of a Bank:  I've known dude for years and he always calls to say he's coming over because he "misses me" - code...  Ok whatever.  Don't judge.  It happens.  So, he would always come empty-handed.  I got sick of this.  Can we not have a meal together? WTF?!  Bring me one of those Mr. Baker trays or something.  A girl gets hungry.  So, I finally broke it to him that if he wanted to continue to see me, he needed to do something about that.  (What?  I didn't specify.)  So he shows up with a little bag - a gift.  I thought it was really sweet.... I waited until the next morning to open it.  And then I called him.  (Sans salutations)  'What the F is THIS?!  It's a corporate gift from Wataniya Airlines!  They don't even exist anymore!  What - did you have it in your desk at work and just decide to bring it to me?? You couldn't have brought sandwiches or maybe chocolate?!'  That was the end of that.

All walks of life.  Doesn't matter.  What ever happened to dinner and flowers?  My 21 year old nephew says that sending flowers to a girl is "gay."  My sister chimed in on that one and said, "Oh my God!  Where have you been?  They don't do that anymore!  They text!"  Yup.  That's what's happened.  Let me tell you, nephew:  Send even ONE girl that you really like some flowers with a note saying you would like to take her to dinner.  SEE what happens.  Do just a test with an inexpensive arrangement.  Watch and learn.

Sigh.  The new world sucks.  I used to get diamond earrings and stuff (thanks, Schmed - you know who you are!)

Ok so yes - I meet a lot of men; often through the dog groups that I frequent.  The problem with the dog guys is they respect me.  Because I am good friends with one of the group leaders.  El Chapo.   I have heard several times, "I can't approach her!  She is close friends with (Mr. X)...."  It's almost like I'm a mafia wife and the rest of the men won't even talk to me.  Mr. X (JUST a friend) would be thrilled to hear this, I'm sure!  I think it is kind of funny, but at the same time, not so cool because he's blockin my action.  "I respect you...."  Ok FINE.  Respect me AND....

Is there no middle ground?

And one more thing before I end my rant (therapy):  We can not be friends.  Friends are there for each other.  Can I call you if I need your help and will you come?  Be honest.  If I already know the answer to that question is "No" then we aren't friends; we are acquaintances.  I know who my friends are.  They are the ones that volunteer to take me to the doctor when I'm sick.  Or help me with car problems.  Or that call me or who I call (even if it has been months) to either check on each other or to seek support and advice.  Or just want to drop by to see me just because it has been too long.

Bam.


Got a (stupid) question? Check out Kuwikipedia


Link:  http://kuwikipedia.com

There was one on here, "Where do I buy weed?" but apparently the admin removed it.  There is no moderation so I am wondering how far you could go.... hmmmm.


Sunday, May 29, 2016

Compassion towards animals

I wrote this today on my “real name” Facebook account and got a very nice response from a friend, so I am publishing.

My post:

It is the week before Ramadan when "God-fearing" people dump animals so that their house guests or inhabitants will be more comfortable knowing that there is no pet in the house. I don't believe that God will hear their prayers. In fact, if you read the Quran and are a believer, you would never be cruel or neglectful of an animal; on the contrary. God teaches us all kindness and compassion in any religion. Pay attention. Donate to local animal shelters.

Her response:


We all learned this story when we were children and  it's all over Muslims books by prophet Mohammad.

“A woman was tormented because of a cat which she had confined until it died and she had to get into Hell. She did not allow it either to eat or drink as it was confined, nor did she free it so that it might eat the insects of the earth”. (Sahih Muslim)

In addition, over two hundred verses in the Quran deal with animals and six chapters of the Quran are named after animals; including but not limited to Ant, Bee, camel, cow, dog, elephant , horse & lion & many more you can google it.

In Quran there is a verse that says "And there is no animal that walks upon the earth nor a bird that flies with its two wings but (they are) genera like yourselves; We have not neglected anything in the Book, then to their Lord shall they be gathered."

In Islam, the Quran strongly enjoins Muslims to treat animals with compassion and not to abuse them. All creatures are believed to praise God, even if this praise is not expressed in human language.

Prophet Mohammad blessings be upon him, said, “Once a man suffered from thirst while he was walking on a journey. When he found a well, he climbed down into it and drank from it. Then he came out and saw a dog lolling its tongue from thirst and licking the ground. The man said: This dog has suffered thirst just as I have suffered from it. He climbed down into the well, filled his shoe with water, and caught it in his mouth as he climbed up. Then he gave the dog a drink. Allah appreciated this deed, so he forgave him.” It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, is there a reward for charity even for the animals?” The Prophet said, “In every living being there is a reward for charity.”

The time I walked into the wrong house: A Ramadan Story


This is a true story in the true spirit of Ramadan.  It is funny and you can laugh at my foibles (because Lord knows - I do!) but it is also a story that will stay with me for the rest of my life because it has such a great moral.

My friend, Um Salah, (former parliamentarian Rola Dashti's mother and a long-time friend)  invited me to ftour at her house during Ramadan.  I hadn't been to their house in over a year and wasn't really sure if I remembered the way.  She told me, "If you get lost, you'll see my son's Pajero parked in front."

(Clue #1:  Everyone in Kuwait owns a Pajero.) 

So, off I went before sunset.

I went to the house and low and behold:  a Pajero was parked outside.  I rang the front bell and a housekeeper answered.  I asked if it was the Dashti house.  She said yes and brought me into the house and I sat in the living room.

One by one, family members appeared and asked the same polite questions.  "Salam alaykum." 'Alaykum salam.'  "Mubarak alayk shahar..." "How are you?  How is your family?" 'I'm fine thank you.  How have you been?  How is your family?' and so on...

So this went on and on with family members I didn't recognize.  But - that's not unusual in Kuwait because it is Ramadan and family members are visiting and people are coming and going.

(Should have been Clue #2:  but... notsomuch)

As I sat there, I admired Um Salah's new furniture.

(Clue #3)

So finally, a very nice young lady about my age comes down.  She's super friendly and I immediately like her (do I know her?  Have we met?  Is she a sister or cousin?  Dunno.)  She goes through the polite questions (as above).  And then says,

"Habibti.  I think you're in the wrong house."  Completely kindly and with total grace and hospitality.

Me: 'Oh, I asked your maid if this was the Dashti house and she said yes.'
Her:  "She's an idiot.  Um Salah lives behind us.  Would you like to join us for ftour?"

OMG!  How incredibly kind!  THAT is the true spirit of Ramadan.  Welcoming people to join in breaking fast together.  I really was overwhelmed (not by my own stupidity or the situation I was in, but by blind kindness!).  THAT is the Kuwait I know and love.  THOSE are my people!

I turned around and the entire group had come down and everyone was smiling and welcoming me.  You know - God sends you angels.  I should have gotten the name of their family.  Maybe one of them will read this and remember.  I remember them distinctly - every Ramadan and occasionally other times like now.

I sent them flowers the next day to thank them.  I love this Ramadan story.  I am hopeful that there are more people out there like them.

Blondeness Side Note:

This was not the first time I walked into the wrong house.  My first job was as a housekeeper.  (yes me - scrubbing toilets and washing floors).  My mother made me get a job to teach me the value of money. It worked.  I'm grateful.   I worked on a street where most of the houses looked the same.  I usually started my work in the basement, ironing shirts in their laundry room and then working up to the top floor (with a stop in the kitchen because I was 14 years old and of course I was going to raid their refrigerator!).  So, I did what I normally did:  Let myself in and started ironing shirts.  It took me a while to figure out that things were slightly different and I was in the wrong place.  They got several shirts ironed for free (with starch - I was gooood at ironing).  I dashed off to the right house before I got caught.


Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Royal Kennel, Kuwait


This is Royal Kennel in Kabd. It belongs to my friend, Yasser. I had the pleasure of a tour the other day and I am thoroughly impressed. 

video


The dome shaped objects in the background of the video are dog houses that open into grassed pens for play time. The indoor kennels are tiled, clean, and air conditioned. Their services include daily walks, daycare, socialization and dog training and they have a large staff of compassionate helpers.

I took Mikey and he got to play/socialize with one of Yasser's sassier female German Shepherds.  He had a great time and was finally worn out when I got home.


Indoor Kennel


Visitor Area

See @royal.kennel.q8 for more details, photos and videos.  Make sure to book in advance of your summer vacation. Phone 6969 6929

Helping to promote a friend's cosmetic line: Mistique

My friend, Tiffani, is a hairstylist and make-up artist. She's a soft-spoken Jamaican woman who I met when I was trying to give away excess clothing and household stuff;  and she came over to take whatever I had to give to various charities she works with in Kuwait.  I immediately liked her.

Tiffani specializes in African-American and mixed girls' hair.  She also does eyelash extensions.  Lately, she has been promoting her Canadian cosmetics line, Mistique.  She sent me over this pretty little make-up case which included some of her new cosmetics.  I've gotta say - after meeting me only once - she aced my colors.  And - she included the 3D Fiber Lash Mascara which I have been wanting to try.





I loved all of it and I also loved how it is not tested on animals.  That's very important to me.  If you are looking for a new line for your shop or salon - here it is.  The make up is also a great idea for gifts.  (I know I liked being on the receiving end!)

Thank you, Tiffani, for becoming a fast friend and for the lovely gifts.  I wish you much success!