Monday, October 28, 2013

My Idiot Friends & Pepper Spray

So I have 2 very nice younger surrogate Kuwaiti brothers.  They occasionally take my car, get it gassed up and washed for me (and it is an excuse to go cruising around in it).

I keep pepper spray in the door compartment for emergencies. It is in a pink canister.  It has a safety lock.

The idiots (and I say that in the nicest possible way) 
thought it was perfume and started spraying it in the car.

Yes,  you can imagine what happened next:  coughing, choking, and tearing eyes.

Don't just spray stuff in other people's cars....  Who DOES that??

... hey... did you know that there is also a pepper spray attachment for the iPhone?  ... and ... once again...

Sunday, October 27, 2013

The Pants Off Dance Off

(I keep changing the title because better ones keep popping into my mind...)

So, after all my BMCing about Clean and his questionable internet practices, he finally got

I went to see the fam for lunch on Friday.  Right before I left my house, I checked my e-mail and Facebook and there was a comment waiting from one of his sexy little internet bitches.  Secretly not wanting to see him at lunch and now armed with ammunition, I took a screen shot and sent it to him.  Mission accomplished:  He didn't show for lunch.  Bada bing.  And that's where I thought it would end.

At the end of lunch, one of his brothers was sitting next to me when Clean called him (I have GOT to change his name to "Dirty").  He asked who was there.  Bro replied that I was, and then he got up and left the room.  When he came back in, he explained what the situation was.

"The girl on the internet isn't a girl.  Clean has a problem.  It is a man and he's blackmailing him."
'Blackmailing?  Why?'
"Because Clean was having internet sex with a webcam and the girl turned out to be a guy and videotaped everything.  Now he's demanding money."

My immediate reaction was nausea.

"Can you help him delete his Facebook account?"
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?  He wants MY help?  No phuckin way!

Sidenote:  Now, as La Senza says, "I used to read your posts and think you had a creative imagination and you were making most of the stuff up.  Now I know you and I know that you're not lying."  No, I'm not.  I'm not making this stuff up.  This is what happens.  This is my weirdass life and I've got to live it (and then, of course, dish about it herein.)

I'm still nauseous just thinking about this, but apparently there are quite a few "men" who have gotten caught in this frenzy of internet activity.  DUMBASSES!  When you put your junk  out there (literally) on the internet, you are taking a HUGE risk - not only to you, but to your future generations and to your family. That stuff stays out there.  In Clean's case, he is from a very large, very well-known Bedouin family.

I (again) didn't react well.  I got on Facebook and wrote to "her" saying that I would buy the video and to name a price.  This, posted to Clean's Facebook wall.

Then, I wrote an SMS to Clean saying that the culprit is probably one of my friends, as everybody knows how evil he has been to me and I'm sure they all are doing mean things to him that even I am not aware of.  (This is also known as psychological warfare.)  I mean, God only knows what my police friends are doing...  Then I intimated that his family might find out and followed with a kicker, 'Habibi, do you need money to pay off the man you had sex with on the internet?'  THEN he called me.  Wow.  So his dialing finger isn't broken after all.  So he still knows how to call me.  Bien sur, I didn't answer.  He finally sent me a message saying that, "I'm a man.  So what if someone sees my face and my d**k?"  (Obviously, he's now a celebrity porn star and proud of it.)  Wow.  Enjoy the show.

(Now, Clean, imagine these are GUYS!)

(Ick, I feel bile rising up again.)

It's karma, bitch.

So, all those times I asked him to please stop making "friendships" with/adding strange women on Facebook/the internet; please stop adding girls; please stop; please my family sees all that; please ......  it all comes back to him.  I suspected, but I have never had solid evidence until now (because, of course, the truth always comes out eventually).

He wanted me to wear hijab and to pray.  He asked me to be more religious.  He posts constantly about religion on his twitter account.  Hypocrite!

I'm going to stop thinking about this after this post because I've already vowed to myself that I never want to discuss him again in any way/shape/form, but...

This bothers me deeply because
1)  He disguised who he was so well and I allowed (yes I did) myself to believe he was a good person
2)  If his family ever finds out, they will have the same reaction that I did because his parents are good, decent, devout people
3)  God only knows what else he has been doing.

Khalas!  End of Dirty subject.

Attention potential  internet wanker 
Not all that is cute and feminine is what it appears to be.
It was a GUY.
After much discussion with my male friends in Kuwait, this is not an uncommon occurrence.  It seems to happen.  Why are some men so willing to put their penises where they don't belong?  I seriously don't get it.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Roundup: Eid Al-Adha

I didn't really have any big news to post about my 9-day-long Eid holiday.  I stayed in Kuwait.  I couldn't imagine how awful the airport would have been and,  having checked the prices for ticket,  it was like forgetaboutit.

It was worth staying in Kuwait anyways; kinda quiet, but overall really nice.

I spent a lot of time with Desert Guy.  He has been keeping me busy lately.  We had a heart-to-heart talk, with the help of one of his friends who played moderator once I told him that DGy hasn't ever really been forthcoming with his feelings for me. DGy is one of those guy-guys who doesn't like the touchy-feely stuff, so if I bring it up (sans moderator), he usually brushes it off or changes the subject.  I guess we got him at a good time because he spoke up like he never has before.  I was kinda shocked, but it was so nice that I just let him continue.


I think he must have really missed me. Sometimes time apart makes you see a situation in a completely different light;  This time around, we are on a whole new and different level.  Maybe because after all the stuff with Clean, I am not ready to trust anyone again right now, so I'm seeing Desert Guy as more of a friend that I love than a guy who I'm IN love with.  I tell him I love him - and now - he actually tells me back (in both text messages and in person - both surprising the bejeezus out of me).  He's not a vocal guy.

I think some of my sister's "Train-Your-Man Boot Camp" techniques are working.  (I cannot disclose the secrets, unfortunately.)


He introduced me to some of his friends and cousins who I have heard a lot about, but I had never met before.  I've known DGy for almost 8 years, but I guess when a guy isn't that "into" you, he's not going to take the time to introduce you to the important people in his world.  Which is why I trusted Clean so easily because he made important introductions immediately.  Anyways, DGy's cousins are a totally different class of people than the people who had visited the camp last winter; much higher class.  I like them.  They are the types of Kuwaitis that I have known in my Previous Existence - much before I came to Kuwait.  The laid-back, totally un-superficial types.  I love that.  I have felt so comfortable that I've even cooked for them - a few times.  I NEVER do that (cook for a guy's friends).   Not EVER.  Totally unlike me.

I was in such a domestic mood this Eid that I even brought a big jidder of machboos lamb to Clean's family the day before Eid.  I knew they were all fasting, so step-mom was really happy when I brought it at sunset.  They were so appreciative and made such a big deal about it and it was really sweet.  His dad immediately told Clean how good it was and how I knew how to cook Kuwaiti and blah blah.  Ha!  Rub it in, Dad!  I love that.  Clean came back with, "SHE knows how to cook machboos?!"  His step-mother said, "She even bought Kuwaiti lamb with no fat...."  ha ha.  I saw his family several times over Eid.  His father told me that he's changing my last name to his.

Clean has been sniffing around.  He's asking his brothers about me, " Did she talk about me?"  "No."  I don't talk about Clean because 1) The whole family should be totally sick of listening to me whine about him by now and I don't want to prolong their suffering and 2) to be really honest, I'm out of the emotional danger zone that I was in even a month ago with him.  (It should have come a lot sooner.)  I changed my locks and moved on.

Desert Guy - Mashallah

I was talking to one of his cousins and one of the first things he asked me after meeting me was, "Do you read a blog called Desert Girl?"  Oh snap!  Sometimes people are too smart for my own good.  Sometimes people bring things up and it is almost like God is channeling something through them.  Cuz is far enough removed from both of us that he can't possibly know....

And speaking of cousins, there is the subject of Teddy.  After the, "Not Without My Camaro," issue (read the post under the same title), I don't know how I can ever be near him again.  Desert Guy understands:  He's not an insensitive person; he understands how bad (and how afraid and betrayed) I felt.  I later heard through a friend-of-a-friend that the situation may have been created intentionally.  I don't want to think about that.    I don't know how I will react when I see Teddy (he is still DGy's cousin and one of his closest friends).  I don't think violence is the answer (I might break a nail or worse - a knuckle).  I'll keep my pink vial of pepper spray in its home in my car.  I think I will hide behind DGy and hope for the best.  I really don't want to see Teddy.  The past is the past and that's where it belongs.  He doesn't belong to my present - or future.

I'm going to stop thinking about hurtful things right now because I want to write about something closely related to the Teddy subject and I'm not allowing any of it back into my world.

Anyhoooser, Mashallah.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Kuwait Tourism (an Oxymoron Case Study)

(Image by

The Kuwait Times is running a story this morning entitled, " Eid sees loads of cash spent, big chunk of it abroad – Call to boost local tourism."  To wit I say, 'No shyt, Sherlock.'  It is an interesting article and I'm not degrading the writing (by Nawara Fattahova) by any means (well written, good factual content).  I'm just tiring of the subject after so many years of hearing about it with no movement from the Government.  It seems that regardless of how many people make the point:  it is all falling on deaf ears.

The article states:   Estimates show that more than 250,000 passengers left Kuwait during the Eid holidays. According to General Directorate of Civil Aviation, more than 121,000 passengers left Kuwait through Kuwait International Airport within the first three days, while about 70,000 travelled through land borders. Hajaj Bukhadour, an economic analyst, believes Kuwait lost another KD 1 billion which the potential tourists may have spent in Kuwait if it was a touristic country. “All countries pay attention to tourism as it is an important economic source for the country. Unfortunately, Kuwait is not one of these countries and tourism here is appalling. Kuwaitis and expats who have accounts in Kuwaiti banks spent around KD 1 billion during this short holiday inside and outside Kuwait, so if there were tourists visiting Kuwait, they would spent a similar amount here,” he told Kuwait Times. “If local tourism was attractive this would be an additional income of Kuwait. Unfortunately the awareness of the importance of tourism is very low in Kuwait between the people as well as the government and parliament. To have tourism in the country requires having laws for visa and residency and touristic projects to attract tourists and encourage local tourism,” ...

There was another interesting article in the Kuwait Times, quoting Nabila Al-Anjari on how "Kuwait placed last in GCC tourism, 101 worldwide: Al-Anjeri."  Ms. Al-Anjeri was former Assistant Undersecretary for Tourism Affairs at the Kuwait Ministry of Information.  I recall that she worked very hard to promote the 20-year tourism plan for Kuwait (which resulted in the building of many of the hotels you now see in Kuwait – with a current occupancy rate at about 30%)  and endeavored to work towards promoting Kuwait.  I also recall hearing that she was met with bureaucracy and brick walls.  That is a pity.  Ms. Anjeri provides valid points in this article and again – an interesting read.

When I first came to Kuwait in 1996, Kuwait’s tourism tag line was, “Kuwait:  It’s Different.” (With an illustration of Kuwait Towers).  I loved that!  It is exactly what I think of Kuwait.  It IS different; no other country has the flavor that Kuwait has, nor the ability to remark on its own quirkiness.  What is the slogan now?  Does anybody know?  “Kuwait:  Don’t Come Here.”  Or maybe, “If you’re gay, don’t even think about it.”  Or perhapsee, “Kuwait:  If you want a drink, go to Bahrain or Dubai.” or "Come to Kuwait:  We'll F up your national anthem too"   (I could continue…)

Ok, even back then in 1996, the official Kuwait tourism board, “Kuwait Touristic Enterprises Company” (KTEC) was well-maintained.  We went to Entertainment City in Doha.  It was fun.  Most of the country-run facilities were clean and well cared for.  Who goes to these places now?  It is a national joke.  The stats speak for themselves – people want to leave.  Those who can’t afford to leave stay here and make barbecues on the Gulf Road (hey, wasn’t that a law they passed a while back – you could be fined 1,000KD for making a fire in a public place?  Enforcement?)  If you were here during this Eid, you couldn’t find a parking space anywhere along the 25km Gulf Road.  That is where everyone went.  The majority of Kuwaitis and expats aren’t going to go near any of the KTEC’s properties.  When was the last time you went to Kuwait Towers, for example?

In my personal experience, I found that the KTEC properties are not English-speaking expat friendly.  If I go to one of those properties, I want to feel welcomed.  Am I alone in this?  There are what – 2.5 million expats in Kuwait?  A whole lot of us can’t read signs in Arabic.  And if I go someplace that I’m being stared at blankly by an Egyptian security guard, I’m going to turn around and leave.    Not to bash the KTEC too bad (but I will), even their website is a turn-off (if you can read and understand the link – in English – you are a better person than I). It’s a shame because Kuwait has SO MUCH potential.  There is just no marketing!  Have you ever seen a KTEC facility marketed on Instagram or Facebook, for example?

What happened to Hala February (in competition with Dubai’s Shopping Month)?  It was a good idea.  It fizzled out much like everything else.  Why not have the Proud 2 Be Kuwaiti exhibition at the same time as Hala February and work in conjunction with each other to pull off something great.  P2BK – those guys are promoting Kuwait at a grass-roots level and should be looked at as a case study in how to do it properly.  Why doesn’t Kuwait have a cultural festival?  Oh wait, I think there have been a few, but all the “advanced” advertising was done about a week prior – and in ARABIC.  Exats want to experience the country where they live.  Why aren’t they being given that opportunity in a common language?  

The Local Economy

Kuwait is going to have to wake up to some cold, hard facts (wake up and smell the chai 7alib). The proposed Kuwaiti 20-Year Tourism Plan kinda died in 2003;  around the same time the US Forces moved into Iraq and planted themselves - and about 20,000 local-economy-boosting Americans and their families (I write that figure only because I know the stat for that particular year.  This number does not include Westerners of other nationalities or TCN laborers brought in).  All of a sudden, a multitude of new services were required:  accommodations, transport (vehicles, trucks, etc.), logistics services, sponsorship services.  Contractors brought their families, so schools and other related child services flourished.  All this drove the economy.  

The ramp-up was staggering.  Local companies made millions (and if you want to write to me for specifics instead of commenting that "blab blah blah that wasn't the case" - I will tell you who and how).  A record number of new apartment complexes were built.  On average, a 2 bedroom apartment in Salmiya (for example) went from 200KD/mo to 450KD/mo (and more) almost immediately.  Trucking companies were doing great as convoys were going in and out of Iraq constantly.  At the height, you could lease a truck head for 1700KD/mo.  People couldn't bring enough trucks into the country to meet the demand.  There weren't enough drivers; all had to be recruited (and hey - in some cases, even trained). Leasing companies were renting out 4x4's as fast as they could get them to roll off the ships. Sponsorship?  The main sponsorship company went from a decrepit office in a very old building into a high-rise tower that they purchased.  They diversified to suit the needs of almost every logistics requirement a contractor might require.  Need full coverage insurance to go with all that?  Sure.  Medical?  Sure.  How are all these people getting in and out of Kuwait?  United Airlines put on daily flights - and they were always full (they recently cut back to 4 flights per week).


There are no more US troops in Iraq.  There is no more need to support them through a hub in Kuwait. CSA lost their Army support contract in 2010.  The contract went to the lowest-cost, technically qualified bidder:  ITT (emphasis on "lowest-cost").   It's no secret that as the military has reduced their numbers in Kuwait, ITT has had to cut back also.  Gone are the days of the over-the-top accommodation, individual lease cars (they are often shared now), and other benefits.

Kuwaiti real estate companies practice the “cut off your nose to spite your face” methodology of business.  They continue to charge the same rates for apartments around Kuwait, hoping to draw Western renters.  (I say, ‘HA! Where are they going to come from?’  There hasn’t exactly been a huge re-introduction of Westerners at the same scale:  educational institutions top the industry, perhaps seconded by Al-Shaya, as probably the two largest employers of Westerners in the country.  Still, nowhere near the number of Westerners previously in Kuwait prior to say 2011.)  Regardless, real estate companies in Kuwait would rather have their properties sit empty for months, hoping to rent at a higher rate, than to reduce the rent and lease today:  A philosophy that is stupid and short-sighted.

I also get a kick out of the number of people with “logistics” and “defense contracting” companies in Kuwait that are now scrambling to diversify their businesses.  “Can you help us get a military contract…”  NO!  There ARE NO contracts.  It’s all gone.  Forget it.  Go buy a sheesha cafĂ© or a mini-anything-bakery; You’re SOL.

Less talk, more action

Kuwait needs to revisit it’s tourism plans in order to boost the local economy.  It’s gotta happen.

So now we have all these beautiful hotel properties around Kuwait (just waiting for all those Saudi families to come visit – because that is the main tourism draw right now).  They’re marketing only regionally.  If there is a special offer; expat couple beware.  You need to have a copy of your marriage certificate with you or you may be turned away.  This is not something that is advertised and if even one couple was turned away, they can just click over to somewhere like Trip Advisor, make their comments, and BAM – the hotel has lost potential business.  Further, many hotels will not welcome single female guests.  Isn’t that nice?  It doesn’t matter if you’re a lawyer or doctor or professional of any kind; the connotation is immediately that you are there for prostitution (chicks love this).  They can turn you away.  I had a nice conversation with a representative of the Kuwait Hotel Owners Association regarding this issue.  The KHOA is the Kuwaiti conglomerate that dictates hotel rates in the country – giving very little margin for variance on pricing to any hotel in Kuwait.

In my DG opinion, Kuwait should promote more private entertainment projects like Dubai has.  But alas, that goes back to Ms. Al-Anjeri’s article citing necessary infrastructure requirements for cultivating a tourism industry.  And (for those of you who don’t drink - you can’t speak from personal experience, but I can) people who understand the importance of a quality glass of wine with dinner at a 5 star hotel aren’t going to come here unless you ease the rules.  It isn’t going to happen.  I also believe that until Kuwait hires serious public relations communications experts (go get Hill & Knowlton, for Gods sake!  Look what they did for Kuwait in 1990!!!), they are going to have a bad reputation throughout the globe (case in point:  Homosexuality testing in the airport = negative communication impact; like it or not.)  You must have a common communication and present that in a positive manner.  If there are any negative impact statements, again, a common (damage control) communication must be provided.

Promote Kuwait!  Promote the culture, the diversity, the desert, the sea. This is a fascinating country with so much to see – but nobody knows what’s here!   Offer incentives to small companies to join into a group so that resources are shared (for example, the small tourism companies, the dive/boating companies).  Offer assistance to those wanting to start tourism-related businesses.  Create real marketing documents, websites, etc.  Hire people who are experienced in tourism (wow – now that thar is a thought).  Outsource English copy writing to English speakers (and even then, have it edited again by an independent source so that you don’t look like an idiot if it’s wrong).  Think “welcoming” and “friendly”.  Train first-line employees at the airport to be welcoming and friendly.

Sigh…. Again, this is all going to fall on deaf ears.

Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Gaydar A La Kuwait

Queer Eye for the (not-so) Straight Guy

Kuwait can't think of enough ways to embarrass itself around the Globe.  The creative thinkers have been toiling away in committees, thinking of new ways to draw attention to the country.. and then... BAM... there's this!

This story is ALL OVER the internet this morning - just because it is good, clean FUN.

Yessss!  The international media has picked it up.  Another big win for Kuwait.  Way to go!

The Atlantic Wire LINK HERE.

Story:  Yousuf Mindkar, the director of public health in Kuwait announced that the country has stumbled upon the technology to "detect" gays and prevent them from coming across its borders. Mindkar's master plan will be debated on November 11 when the Gulf Cooperation Countries committee convene. What he, and presumably Kuwait, wants is to make sure that the expatriates going to Kuwait are healthy, which seems to mean that they are also not gay. 

"Health centres conduct the routine medical check to assess the health of the expatriates when they come into the GCC countries. However, we will take stricter measures that will help us detect gays who will be then barred from entering Kuwait or any of the GCC member states," Mindkar said in a local report picked up by Gulf News. (In fairness to Kuwait, other countries have had similarly myopic and anti-gay immigration laws. In 2009, the U.S. ended its ban on foreigners with HIV from immigrating or traveling here.)

Mindkar's anti-gay enthusiasm has piqued our interest and conjured images of metal detector-like devices with a disembodied RuPaul voice saying, "Shante you are not gay. You stay." or "You are gay, sashay away (from Kuwait)" after someone steps through.

Kidding aside, how is this even going to work? Is it purely visual (this is very confusing in certain cases)? Doesn't Kuwait know that plenty of LGBT people have spent years living in closets and pretending to be people they're not? Is there a lie detector test? And we wouldn't want to be the ones to break it to Mindkar that gay people come from the loins of straight people, meaning any attempt to keep your country gay-free is all but impossible. 

Further: Kuwait isn't even a gay hotspot. Neither is the Middle East, where gay is banned because of conservative Islam — Dubai, considered one of the more progressive places there, is still pretty intolerant of homosexuality. Berlin and San Francisco these places are not, and people going to Kuwait or Dubai aren't doing so because it's some wonderful Shangri-La for gay people (like Tel-Aviv) or some open gay sex paradise (like Pakistan). And it all makes you wonder if Mindkar is just banning people who, by in large, don't even have any interest in going. 

-  - - End

This is only one story.  Everybody is (so to speak) jumping on it today.

Desert Girl thoughts:

Methinks thou does protest too much.
Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Just because you are the pitcher and not the catcher does not mean that you are not HOMOsexual or bi.
If you drop your wallet in Kuwait, kick it to Saudi Arabia....
'Do you know that guy?'  "What guy?"  'The guy who F-ed you behind the mahawil.'

(Somebody stop me....)

Sunday, October 06, 2013

Is she happy?

So Mr. Clean can't work up the nerve (respect, dignity, honor)  to come ask me how I am or to talk to me (or even call me or SMS me to ask), but this weekend, he asked his brother, "Is she happy?" The response was, "Yes she's happy.... She's with your family every weekend."  (I LOVE that!)

Why is he even bothering to ask?

At Friday lunch, his dad sat on one side of me, his step mom on the other.  They told me Clean's latest excuse.... that he disappeared because he was angry with me because I wouldn't get him (like you can go to a store or something) a visa to visit my family in the States.  Whaaaaaat???  Dadman said, "I know.  That's just another excuse.  You don't love someone based on their ability to get you a visa."  I love his dad and his practical outlook on everything.

Then they both told me that Clean had planned to marry me and discussed it at length with them (and other family members).  Everybody was happy about it.  And they still don't understand what happened. (They always give me bits and pieces at lunch - never the full story.) They also told me that way before he ever said anything mean and cruel to ME about kids, he told his dad that none of that matters to him; that he loved me so much that he didn't care. (I wish he would have told me that before I felt like crap and spent so much time in tears.)  Where did that man go?

His step-mom tells me to be patient.  She still believes he's testing me before marriage (guess it's an Arab thing?)  I told her that I had tested him too; it is a 2-sided story; and that he has failed miserably. Who disappears like that?  Who starts talking divorce before ever formally asking? How could I ever trust someone like that?   I told his step-mom that I'm American and if he had said HALF of the stuff he said to me to a Kuwaiti girl, she would have hit him upside the head with her shoe.  (I can see it.  Picture this:  Cute little Kuwaiti woman, and him sitting there with his smug grin...  "I will marry a second wife and there's nothing..." (and then, before he even has the rest of the words out).... WAABAP!  She smacks him upside the head with her sandal, while screaming some insults and dialing her family with her free hand.)   Step-mom thought about it for a minute (guess she was conjuring the visual too) and completely agreed. (Why you think you can say that to me?  Huh?  Huh?  Why you gotta go there? You think I'm an American blue light special? What am I - discount girl?)

I love being able to talk to his family like this.  However reeeeeeedonkulous it all is.

Anyhoooser....   I had a great weekend!  Mashallah, Mashallah, Mashallah.

I've been on an emotional high ever since Friday night when an inebriated best friend blurted out a secret regarding me and a mutual friend.  (Sigh, big smirky grin....)

On another note, I keep falling asleep where ever I go.  Thursday night, I was with DGY at the Secret Hawalli Hide Out and as usual, I fell asleep on the sofa while the guys talked like a bunch of little girls for hours.  Then, Friday night at the Secret Kabd Hide Out, there was too much loya/chaos going on inside, so I went outside to get some air and ended up falling asleep on the sedu pillows under the stars in beautiful weather.  Perfect timing 'cause a few hours later when I woke up, the machboos was ready and the sun was coming up.

The two trashy girls wearing really cheap clothes served it up for me.  It was only the second time I had met them.  They came with their boyfriends (one of them was a cousin of our regulars').   I guess you really can't judge a book by its cover (I lie - most of the time, you can):  They turned out to be (trashy-clothes-wearing) very intelligent women with super-cool jobs.  I really like them.  I guess some of these girls just want to OTT cut loose on the weekends.  Seriously though, I don't need to see their panties through their clothes (we're talking toile-covered-tushy).  Why?  Can't you cut loose and cover yourself?    I don't need to be seeing anybody elses' junk.  Really.  Just sayin.  I gots my own junk.  I don't even want to see that.

Yesterday, I had coffee with La Senza - which is always refreshing; catching up and gossiping and all that.   Then, I went back to The Kingdom for dinner with another friend and got to play with his bunnies (no.... that is NOT code).  Real bunnies.

Is she happy?  Did I mention that there were boys and food and bunnies?  What do you think?

Thursday, October 03, 2013

Stank Eye

Also known as "hot eyes" around here....  Somebody gave it to me after all my yakkin about how happy I was to be driving DGY's sexyass truck.  I shoulda said, "Mashallah" more often (I'm very superstitious and there are stank eyes everywhere here).

I was supposed to meet DGY at his house, so that we could go together to pick up my car from the mechanics in Shuwaikh.

By-the-by:   I HATE Shuwaikh even more than I hate Hawalli.  If there are areas in Kuwait that I try to avoid:  it's those two (and, of course, Hassawi - not that I would ever have the need to go there again).  It is a combination of the Wild West and Cairo.  There are no lanes, no laws, no rules, and it is every man/woman/child for themselves.  I almost killed a child in Hawalli  when a 4-year-old ran in front of my car.  I was able to stop in time and then turned to its mother who just shrugged and walked away.  I thought I was going to go after her and kill her.  Woulda been better so she wouldn't spawn any more offspring.  Anyhoo....

Ok, back to my story.  So, I was in my area and wanted to be nice and fill the truck up with gas after I had been using it (all over Kuwait and back). Let me translate a little:  I didn't want DGY to know exactly how much time I had spent in his truck, driving around feeling cool, so gas usage was an issue.

I filled up and then went to start it again and the engine wouldn't turn over W.T.F.!! OMG.  The lights all worked, all the electronics were fine.  But it just wouldn't turn over.  I was AT the gas pump - and  you know how "patient" people are at the gas stations in Kuwait.  Anyhoo, people were honking, trying to get around me, giving me dirty looks.  Four gas station attendants schooled me on how to put the car in gear and turn the key - repeatedly.  That's just reeedonkulous, so shut uuuuuup.

Those guys ended up pushing it out of the way.  I called DGY.  It's so embarrassing when you are driving someone else's car and it breaks down.  He just laughed and said he would call a tow truck ("wench" over here.  As in, "I'll get my wench to tow it.")

45 minutes later, he arrived (traffic in Kuwait is a BITCH these days!).  Get this.  I swear to God, I still can't believe it....  He leaned in, turned the key, and the engine started. He didn't even have his full body inside the cab, just one cheek and a leg.   He laughed.  He was so nice about it.  I felt like a moron.  He told me that he just bought a new battery.

I think its the transmission.  It didn't feel right and it wasn't switching into higher gear on the highway.  That's just my hypothesis.

Oh, so my car is fine.  I had to have the rocker arms adjusted and got new engine mounts.  (I did NOT drive fast over speed bumps in my Camaro!)  It could have been from all the driving I've done in the desert.  I have come to the conclusion that it really isn't an off-road vehicle.  Imagine that.

Seriously.... I want the truck back.  Maybe he'll let me pull the boat.  Wanasa, y'alls!

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

Re-heating leftovers after their expiration date

So here's the thing:  Clean dumped me.  Anything is fair game after all the awful, unkind things he said and did to me.  I can do whatever I want/see whoever I want.  I know that.  But.... the stupid-lame-pathetic-girl side of me (label it whatever) still says, 'He's testing you.  He wants to go out in the world and make a better life for both of you and he'll be back and everything will be just as it should have been.  Be careful now what you do and who you see.'

I know - phuck that, right?

But it's what I do.  I don't want anyone to blame me.  I don't want to do anything wrong.  Even after all the shitty things the guy has done to me, I am still considering HIS feelings above my own.  I'm an EFNJ personality and I hate it sometimes.  (Being a guy and having an EFNJ woman is really cool for the guy by the way.)

I did it with The Man.  I did it with Desert Guy.  Perhaps there is an appropriate waiting period before you jump into something else with someone else.  Yet again, perhaps there isn't and you should just do whatever happens next.

It took me almost 2 years to recover from The Man.  I was an emotional wreck; regardless of what I let on to other people.  With Desert Guy, I didn't have the same feelings because it was a platonic relationship (yes, I shit-you-not).  Months of nights spent together alone in a tent - talking.  Maybe he just wasn't that into me (but I could tell that he was and I always knew that he loved me); maybe he was tired of that kind of girl and wanted to get to know someone who just wanted him for himself/who he is.  Whatever.

I had a 2-year platonic relationship with my x-fiance too.  That's why we were so solid; we knew each other in a totally different way.  However, if you're platonic, you don't have the emotional bonds that you would in an intimate relationship.  Its kind of the glue that cements your love.  Without it, it becomes much easier to walk away and rebound (at least for a woman, I think, as we tie a lot more emotions to intimacy than I think the average guy does).

Anyways, with The Man and Clean, both were intense and passionate relationships; the kind that I have a hard time recovering from.  They were also serious to the point of marriage and both-sides family involvement (as was my engagement also - too much so, actually).

So having said that... the leftovers part.....

I have been spending time with Desert Guy.  As friends.  He has been incredibly endearing and kind lately.  I think he can tell I'm hurting over something, but he is not the type of guy to ask (unless it is somehow gently brought into conversation and only then to lead me to talk about it if I want).

Our birthdays are the 16th and 17th of April. We are both Aries.  We are both hot-headed, stubborn, and a little controlling.  We fell into that pattern in our previous relationship.

I am, for all practical purposes, in love with someone else now (although he's gone).  I'm not in love with Desert Guy anymore.  I love him, but I'm not in love with him.  It's just really comfortable - and it probably is because I'm not in any emotional danger with him at the moment.

When we were together before, he told me (and friends) that he thought I was "the one".  BS or no BS, all the signs are there.  He's not the same person he was 8 months ago; neither am I.  He's no longer on his phone all the time (if anything, I've tried to curb my chatting while I'm with him - I've turned into the violator).  From the amount of time I have spent with him (which has been a LOT lately), there is no one else on the scene.  Maybe it is just a slow time for him in the world of dating, I don't know, but it is good so far.

DGY has been OTT respectful to me lately and so have all his friends.  You know your significant other is into you when his best friends are into you.  I've got 'em.  (Like SJP in "Failure to Launch" who won Tripp's friends over during a paintball match.  When she had the "look of approval" she knew she was IN.)

He's taking me to get my car fixed.  He's lending me his car...

Oh, he lent me his Dodge Ram pick up.  Now, women in Kuwait rarely rarely drive pick-up trucks.  It isn't done.  I think I've seen ONE woman in 17 years driving one.  And a blonde driving one - unheard of.  I'm LOVIN it.  I don't know if I'll ever give it back.  So much fun! (Mashallah)

Anyhoo, I'm comfortable for right now.  I'm happy (Mashallah).  I feel better about everything having some male attention from someone that I feel-in-me-bones cares about me.  And cares about me not for any reason.  He's got what he needs and more.  He doesn't need anything from me.  Nothing physical or material.  And, from everything he is saying and doing; he wants to take care of me, which is something that a man hasn't done for me in a loooooong time.