Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Wag The Dog

Isn't it interesting how the American media and most of the world are turning their attention from the daily killings (on both sides) in Iraq to a small, non-threatening European country? Politicians of the world are now busy worrying about cartoons (albeit ignorant and blasphemous cartoons).

Sunday, February 05, 2006

I tink I taw a fuckwit...

I ran into my fuckwit x-boss the other day. I have been seeing him quite a lot lately and I believe it is his twist of fate with his own karma. This is the guy who fired me, telling me that I had been "under investigation for the past 15 days" (without the required legal documentation from the Ministry of Interior). It turned out that I was fired for "talking bad about the HR Director". Well yeah - duuuuuuuuuuh. Didn't care. Technically by the legal document I signed when they handed over my final settlement check (after much negotiation through a very nice lawyer I hired), I "resigned" from that job at (what I call) KGB Logistics. That's old news... Anyhoooooooo, I ran into said fuckwit at a car dealership. I was looking at the top-of-the-line and he was looking at the bottom-of-the-line. I have heard lately that fuckwit's car allowance at KGB was ended abruptly and that he's not happy there anymore (boo hoo. How ya likin all those asses you kissed NOW?). He saw me, I saw him, I turned my head as if he didn't exist.

And now.... for something completely non-fuckwitish:

I forwarded an inspirational Maya Angelou e-mail (that my friend, Lyza, in Texas forwarded to me - thanks Lyza. You always make me feel good.) to a friend. She said that I was judgemental for sending it to her. I also forwarded it to about 20 other people and several people thanked me. I guess it is all about your perspectives. Here's how it went:

Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. And, there on television, she said it was "exciting." Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day..like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first. The audience laughed so hard they cried.
  • "I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."
  • "I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."
  • "I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."
  • "I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life."
  • "I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."
  • "I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."
  • "I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision"
  • "I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."
  • "I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."
  • "I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."
  • "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Forgive me for being "judgemental", but isn't it a bit judgemental to assume that I was being judgemental by sending this?


I had a nice weekend. Bobarino, Fishgirl, Salongirl & T, Sheeshagirl, and The Man came over for a pizza night on Thursday. Luckily, I sat on the floor so I wouldn't have too far to fall on my ass from laughing. The weather was great and it was a happy time. We ordered pizza from Sbarro - which, if you haven't ordered from there before - is about the size of a 20' Escallade aluminum wheel rim.

I had the opportunity to tell off a stupid driver this weekend too. (One day, someone is actually going to kick my ass.) 45-year-old-dude had to cut across 3 whole lanes of traffic to get his car within inches of my back bumper and flashing his lights. Being the kind and courteous driver that I am, I threw it into a lower gear and then sped up abruptly, causing him to slam on his brakes and go into a rather nice skid. tee hee. He met me at the light with a look and rolled his window down. I'm like, "Hey! How old are you? 12????" He said, "The road was open, why don't you go?" I said, "You almost hit me back there!" So he said, "You are a bitch." and I said, "No! You're the bitch, BITCH!" I don't know why, but being able to call a 45 year old man in a Grand Marquis with full head gear on a bitch just filled me with absolute delight and wonder. I got a real good look at his tonsils because his jaw was on the floor. He just continued to stare at me until the light changed. I don't believe that anyone had ever called him a beeatch before and that perhaps he thought that I would become terribly insulted and quiver away in tears (as if).

Now, what people here don't understand is that the word "bitch" has several different connotations - and in American, does not necessarily refer to the Arab understanding of the word (meaning hoochie, ho, slut, tramp, or prostitute). So, the one day that I was telling The Man that my dear friend, The Romanian, was "such a bitch" - I didn't mean that she is a prostitute (he couldn't understand why I was associating with her - ha ha). Quite the contrary - it was a term of endearment. However, with Grand Marquis Dude, that was not the reference I was going for. For him, I meant PUNKASSBITCH or perhaps PRISONBITCH or maybe even YOUSOMEBODY'SBITCH.

I guess it just goes to show you - it is all in how you say something that matters and what your perspective is.