Thursday, October 28, 2010

Rapist in Lincoln Park

This is some funny sh*t.  Hide your wife, your children, your husband....

(Thanks, Stella, for turning me onto this!)

I can't' make this sh&t up....

Many hurt as women groups fight in famous Salmiya cafe

Arab Times, 28 October

KUWAIT CITY, Oct 27: Some young women who were injured during a fight in a well-known café for families in Salmiya were taken to a hospital and others were given first aid on the spot, reports Alam Alyawm daily.

According to reports some of the women were seriously injured in their private parts. The daily added the fight began when a group of young women wanted to organize a private party and were involved in an argument with the other group of women.

A total of 15 women were involved in the fight which began with an argument. The daily did not say if anyone has been taken into custody.

It's da hood!


Cheeky girl: A youth landed in jail when he went to meet a cheeky girl who allegedly invited him home but gave someone else’s address, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily.

The youth reportedly talked to the girl on phone and went to meet her at the address she gave. However, he was shocked when an old woman answered the knock. He then left the place thinking he may have come to the wrong address.

But his desire to meet (what other word can we substitute here.... hmmmm) the girl prompted him to give one more try and he went to the same house a second time. This time, the old woman called police who duly took him to the police station.

--- next ---

Policewoman attacked: A cross-dresser allegedly attacked a policewoman with the rank of first lieutenant when the latter tried to maintain peace and order in Messilah Beach recently, reports Al-Rai daily.

It has been reported the policewoman was on the beach on an official assignment when she received a complaint from some ladies who accused the cross-dresser of harassing them. The officer then approached the suspect who resisted arrest and beat her repeatedly until she almost lost consciousness.

Eyewitnesses called Sabah Al-Salem Police Station, which dispatched a team of securitymen who arrested the suspect, while paramedics took the injured policewoman to Adan Hospital.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Trash to Treasure

A reader asked me to post.  Bada BING.


I'm taking down that last post - not deleting because I got some really good comments from people who gave me pause to think - and also provided needed support.  But... it was waaaaay to whiny/needy/co-dependant girl for me.  I'm not that.

I am responding to 2 of the comments made on the last post on the comments here.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

I'm a grandmother!

Ok not really (because I am faaaaaaaaaaar too young and oh yeah - I have no kids), but my adopted stray cat, Petunia (because she digs in the trash and smells disgusting), gave birth to 3 little tabby kittens last night/early this morning.  Last night, she made a bold and daring dash into my apartment again and I scooted her out. She was trying to tell me something and I was just too stupid to listen.    I looked out this morning (as I  usually do to give the "all clear"  for Desert Dawg to go potty), and saw what appeared to be Petunia and several mice on my "welcome" mat.  So, welcome to the world, Hughey, Dewey, and Lewey!

They were grey and small and about the same size as breakfast sausages.   I was worried about Hughey (the runt) because Petunia seemed to ignore him.  That is probably because she mighta thought that he was already dead.  He was really cold and  He and Dewey were away from her.  Lewey (with a long tail like a rat) was feedin away like he had always been there.  (I assume that he's male;  they usually go right for the teat.)

I don't no nothin bout birthin no babies... so I called my friend, Dr. Italiana, and she told me that it's no big deal.  I put Petunia (aka "Tunia") and HDL in a box lined and covered with towels and the whole fam is good to go.

I'm already making big plans to train them to ride around on Desert Dawg's back and perhaps create a circus act....  Yes, I lead a fasssssssssssssssssssscinating life, so I do.

Anybody want a tabby kitten in 8 weeks?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

I'm making new friends at work

There is something about the elevators at my new job place.  It seems to be the pick-up-place-vortex of Kuwait.    This time it was a young lady and I am going to believe  (aka pretend) that she wasn't hitting on me and that she was genuinely just being friendly.  "You are very beautiful.  I have seen you here before..."  okey dokey.  (Let's make out and then have a feather pillow fight in our pajamas..... every man's fantasy.)

[By the way, mens, that is a great pick up line (the beautiful part, not the let's make out part) and had she been a (tall) guy, it might have worked.]

The building guard has also shown some interest (I smile and say 'good morning' - it is the way of my people) asking me what my name is (which okay, in other places you might do just to be friendly, but over here, it's too personal).  I gave him my brush-off, 'Um Talal' (mother of Talal).  Not to be rude, but I don't want him in my face.  It was still polite.  Really, it was.  It wasn't like I said, 'engelaa' or anything.

I went back to being a little blonder.  I get much more attention.  Sometimes it is just the freaky kind, but still.

Change of subject.

Being the new kid in school is always kind of nerve racking. Its a totally new industry for me and I'm trying to sponge up as much info as I can without going into overload.  At the same time, the office hours are a lot longer than I have been used to and if I don't get up and walk around, I get really stiff.  Ok well, that's not true:  at my old office, I used to get there an hour or more  before everybody else - around 6:00 or 6:30 am and leave at about 4:30.  So, really, I have similar  hours in length now but it starts later in the morning so I get out later, which by DG time is just throwing me off schedule.  I used to get more done in the wee hours of the morning when no one was around.  Anyhoo, I'm only on Week 1.

I have to have Limpy the cat's leg amputated. I've been putting it off because 1) I was on vacation and she will require recovery time and 2)  I didn't have the extra money (from 1).  I can't stand to see the poor little stray suffer.  I'm really allergic to cats, so I don't know what I'm going to do with her when she needs to be indoors some place to recover.  Anyone out there with a big heart want to take on the task for a while? SwearaGod, I'll take her back.

It's 11:11.  How many other people are plagued by that number?  I used to wake up every night at 3:33 am also.  Freaky or coincidence?

Quite obviously, I have nothing fasssssssssssssssscinating to write about.  I haven't seen any of the girls this week at all.  Slaps is busy; The Romanian is busy.  (Not a girl, but) The Man ... ok nevermind .... I'm not even getting into that whole long saga.  (Dude, where the phuck ARE you?!)

Last weekend, on The Man's day, Desert Dawg bit me.  She actually broke skin!  I know that she is getting old (she's 12  this month) and she might be confused, but the bitch bit me!  She is extreeeeeeeeemely jealous of HER man.  She doesn't let me get anywhere near The Man.  She positions herself between us.  She barks and growls if I make any sudden movements towards him.  This time, it was late and she was already cranky and she started growling at me. I had my usual Doggy Time Out and Discussion with her (where I take her aside and reason with her about why her behaviour is inappropriate) and then she bit me. Such a no-no.  The Man had a good laugh at first until he saw the condition of my hand.  Not funny.  No Polo candy for her in the morning.

Desert Dawg loves Polos or anything with mint.  I dunno why.  Her favorite food  of all is steamed crabs.  She'll sit next to the stove for as long as it takes until they're done.  Again, I dunno why.  I kind of suspect that in another lifetime, she was a southern belle.  She's definately full of charmant.

My gardener dude (who is actually a street sweeper that I pay to clean my terrace and water my plants) is back.  He had disappeared for a while.  Turns out that he was hit by a car while riding his bicycle.  He's ok poor guy.  First, I'm glad he's alright and wasn't hurt and second I'm thankful he's back because all my plants were dying.  I have the worst brown thumb.  I kill any plant except bamboo in water.

God, I'm boring.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Men can beat wives, but no marks: UAE. How F-ed up is THAT?

Men can beat wives, but no marks: UAE

DUBAI, Oct 18, (AFP): The Federal Supreme Court in the United Arab Emirates has ruled that a man can beat his wife and young children as long as no marks are left, The National newspaper reported on Monday.

The court ruled that “a man has the right to discipline his wife and children provided he does not leave physical marks,” the Abu Dhabi-owned newspaper reported in its online edition.

“Although the (law) permits the husband to use his right (to discipline), he has to abide by the limits of this right,” it quoted Chief Justice Falah al-Hajeri as having written in a ruling released in a court document on Sunday.

The court ruled that a man who “slapped and kicked his daughter and slapped his wife” violated his “right” under sharia, or Islamic law, to discipline his wife and children, as he beat his wife too severely and his daughter, aged 23, was too old for such discipline, the newspaper said.

--- end ---

Aint that some phuckedupshit?  Gee, and I keep thinking that the UAE is forward-thinking.

DG Note:  Two convenient times when you can get him and it won't leave any marks:  when he eats and when he sleeps.  Bring that to his attention at every opportunity - before meals and at bedtime. "Eat up, baby."  "Go to sleep, honey, you've had a long day..."  and then, leave the super glue on the night stand.  

Wow Kuwait, you have a really big hole....

... right in the middle of your downtown...

(pardon the dirty window)

Whatever happened to Kuwait's "mega projects" ... oh yeah, I forgot:  the "financial crisis" (also known as a bigfatexcuse for a couple o'guys who employ 13,000+ people from Bangladesh to clean offices and then just not pay those workers for 6+ months).  Don't even get me started on another "financial crisis" definition related to "downsizing" and "reduction in force."

This project (photo) was started a few years ago and was supposed to be one of the biggest (scrapyards?) buildings in the whole country.  If you look closely, you might see vendors carting off their goods.

MEED (Middle East Economic Digest) is holding a Kuwait Projects 2010 conference at the JW Marriott next month - not too far away from this Gaping Hole.  Everything that you should know about projects in Kuwait you can learn (sans the couple-o-thousand KD fee) right here in this post:

Kuwait's mega projects go like this:  Dig a big hole.  Fill it in.  Dig the same big hole.  Fill it in.  Then sell it to someone else.  They dig the hole again.  Then fill it in.  

Well hey , I suppose that a projects conference  is better than yet another conference on Kuwait's 20 year plan for tourism.  (zzzzzzzzzzz..... I'm sorry..... I fell asleep there for a bit...)  Wait a minute!  What happened to THAT?  Oh right, we got the hotels (which are currently at 30% occupancy nation-wide and declining as more are built) but where are all the visitors?  Hmmmm... maybe in Qatar.  Maybe Bahrain (blame that one on United with a new connecting flight).  Johnny seems to be Walking.... to another country.

Wouldn't this gaping hole make a great shopping mall?!  Do THAT!  We all know we need another mall!  Although, I don't understand who (if anyone) is buying anything.  (See all those fancy-pants people in the mall carrying bags from designer shops?  All those bags are re-used and filled with tissue paper!  I do it.  I know they are too.  You can't bullshit a bullshitter.  Kuwait:  What's in YOUR bag?)

I can't even afford tomatoes lately.  The newspapers are all talking about food prices lately. Personally, I prefer to buy my produce from Guys With a Truck.  You see them next to the highway. They're great and you can negotiate prices with a smile....

Here is a thought:  Why not subsidize farmers (who could employ and pay guys from Bangladesh) to grow produce in all the holes in Kuwait?  Then they could export say... melons.  Then bring cattle to eat whatever is leftover and then export say... bullshit...  

... hey.... wait a minute....

Petunia is pregnant


The sweetest of all my stray yard cats, Petunia, is pregnant.  I know who did it to her too.  It was Bossy Cat.

I have caught Petunia in my apartment twice now lurking around corners; apparently seeking out a place to deliver when the time is right.  Damn - more phucking cats!!  I guess I have to go out and buy a box for her to have them in.

I know another cat that is pregnant, but I aint saying who.  Another Filipina victim of love... sniffle (lots of Michael Bolton Celine Dion Pariah Carey songs later) by a married, balding, beerbellied American promising a free ride to the Land of The Big PX. "Don't worry, I love you and I will divorce my wife back home and leave her AND my 3 kids to marry you because you are 20 years younger than me and will do things she never will."    Yeah, dream on girlfriend.  So, away to the land of her people she goes.  Just one more stary-eyed girl seduced by "love".  

Oh, I was talking about Petunia.  Poor little thing.  I hope she's going to be okay.  I worry.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


I try to keep my real-life identity and my Desert Girl persona separated for several reasons.  First and foremost, I live in Kuwait where there are no cyber laws and as such, no written laws about what you can and can not do.  I know sometimes I push the boundaries.  Remaining anonymous allows me to say things that I wouldn't necessarily say if everybody knew who I am.  (Although I have several things working in my favor:  friends in high places who would tell me if I was going too far across the line, and the fact that I write in English.)

Desert Girl is my alter-ego.  If you saw me at work or met me in a professional capacity, you would probably be disappointed.  Unless I know you (or in rare cases, immediately like you)  I don't let my walls down.  I'm a guarded person until you can prove that it is ok for me to be open.  And hey - I'm not a slutty boozehound based on what some interpret from my posts.  I'm really not wild (subject to interpretation, bien sur).  If you invite me to your home, I'm not going to jump on the bar and dance around with a bottle of tequila in my hand (not unless you pay me - ha ha just kidding).  I sleep at a reasonable hour and probably spend more time alone or with my dog than anyone would believe.  That's the real me.  Real simple.

Et, mes amis,  I don't blog about everything I do or everyone I know.  If I did, I would have to give up work and spend faaaaaar too much time in front of the computer.  This may come as a newsflash, but not everything I do is that interesting to me.  

A circumstance arose recently where I was introduced as "Desert Girl, the Blogger" at a function and people literally stared/glared at me all night as if I were undergoing a psychological evaluation (or maybe they were wondering if I was going to blog about them - well hey, I am, but not in the same context as you might imagine).  It was very disturbing to me.  I just wanted to leave, but I stayed out of respect to my hosts.  The people I write about are usually close friends who read my blog too, so they know that I'm writing about them and we all have a laugh about it later.  Most of the time, they're too busy to read every post, so I occasionally send them snippets. I don't believe in trashing people on the internet.  (No really, I don't.)

Then there are those people who mistakenly think they know you.  I have been propositioned by virtual "friends" (people who think they know me based on my blogdentity) for fast and dirty sex.  Does that bother me?  Of course it does - especially when they assume that I'm just going to drop trou and go at it like rabbits based on words on a computer screen.  You don't know me although you think you do.  What would allow anyone to think that someone they had never met would be so promiscuous?  I hope I set him straight.  I may flirt, but the truth of the matter is, I'm a 1-man-woman.  

I don't want people to know who I am.  I don't want to be introduced as, "Desert Girl, the Blogger." Sometimes, well-intentioned people do.  I just want my anonymity.  I cherish it.  Lately, it is getting much harder to do.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Toilet Seats

I got a company phone today.  Something is wrong.  Why are people being nice to me?  I don’t get it.  This isn’t very Kuwait-like.  I don’t even have to do anything for it, but… work…. That’s so odd.  Huh…. Makes a Desert Girl wonder.

Ok, so I have a question regarding toilet seats.  There are several things that disturb me about the ladies bathroom at new job.  First, the toilets are pink.  Who the F has pink toilets??  They aren’t even a cute pink.  If pink was going to puke, it would be that color.  Next… there are no toilet seats!!  WHO DOES THAT? 

My new boss lady, who I am going to call “Pixie Chick” from now on because she has an amazing haircut and if it doesn’t bother her too much, that’s her nick name.  She kind of reminds me of those pictures of pixies with the big doe eyes.   

Anyways, PixieChick said that the lack of toilet seats doesn’t bother her, but I can’t even imagine that.  I’m a sitter.  I layer the seat with stuff and I will probably bring in my own disinfectant (it is what I do – can’t help it).  Who doesn’t (occasionally) sit?  You’ve got to sit.  Cold, puke-pink porcelain doesn’t do it for me.  What if my bad knee gives out and I slip?  Try explaining THAT to your new co-workers....

Readers,  correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe I have discussed this before:  the only time I am good at squat toilets is when I’m drunk, in the cold of the winter in the desert, in 4” heels and tight jeans. It was the way I learned how to do it and the only way I can do it now.

This is yet another excuse for me to run out to Ace Hardware and buy more needless shit (no correlation intended).  I will buy a toilet seat.  I think I can figure out how to install it (Butterfly, I need my tools back, honey.) 

And now…. For something completely different….

I saw another cute dude on the elevator today.  (What IS it about that office building and those elevators.)  He was too short, so I didn’t give him face, but still – he invited me to ride up on the elevator with him (that sounds dirty, doesn’t it?)  Tee hee.

----- Quick update of October 19 ---

I've decided that "Pixie Chick" doesn't suit.  It's "Stella".  It was my morning epiphany and I'm stickin too it. 

Being on my best behaviour.... and that is really difficult for me

So, I started my new job today,  Slaps' pearls of wisdom, "Be on your best behaviour."  Hmmmm... What 'zacteley does that mean?  Is my best really good enough?  I'm going to give it a whirl.

The job is great - the people are nice and professional.  And get this... they trust their employees.  What a novel concept!  From what I see, everyone is happy and working hard.  They actually gave me a laptop yesterday and I didn't have to sleep with anyone (you KNOW who you are....) or beg or fill out 800,000 forms.  I didn't have to stick my middle finger on any stupid finger print time and attendance (also known as T&A in these here parts) machine.  Trust; it does a body good.

I still have a mobile phone in my contract with my former employer - and in the 4 years that I worked there, had never received one.  Dudes, I want my frickin mobile phone.  Go git one.  Carrefours has them for like 8 KD.  I just WANT ONE.

Ok, back to DG mischief.  So... I'm on my way into the elevator with my NewBossLady (NBL until I find a better name) as she is showing me around/introducing me to people.  Out walks a BaGORGEOUS man, smiles at me, and continues to smile at me all the way down the hall.  I'm purty sure NBL (that so doesn't fit her, gotta do better) didn't notice.  Why is it that the other 365 days of the year, not one man notices me and then at the most inconvenient possible moment, there one is...

Sidebar:  I wouldn't even write about this, but right now, things are on the down slope of the roller coaster (yes again -shut up) with The Man.  How much BMC-ing can one possibly do?  Lead a horse to water and all that BS... I digress.

I was on my best behaviour at my new job.

Did anyone invite me out to congratulate me on my new job?  Phuckno.  Did The Man send me say... a hamburger from  Phuckno.  Oh well.  To think when I was younger and cuter, men were all over me and I never paid any attention to them and now this.  I used to get diamonds and cars (I shit you not).  Now I can't rate a hamburger.  That just sucks.

So yeah, I am staying in Kuwait for a leetle bit longer (no thanks to hamburglers).

Thanks so much to all the peeps in virtual reality who showed me so much kindness, compassion, and just plain friendliness while I was going through The Ordeal.  Thank you, GFS, for giving me an outstanding rate on storage and shipment of my household goods (did you know it is only like 30KD/mo to store yo'shit?).  Thank you to those who asked if they could buy my electronic appliances 2 days after I lost my job (that's just some booshet because friends wouldn't do that... and yes, I'm still miffed).  Thank you, Butterfly, for doing my hair and pulling me out of the brown funk I was in.

By the by:   I signed the offer letter with the new company THREE DAYS after departing the doors of the old company. It is official:   I'm not a loser (well, okay, job-wise anyhoo).  And getting terminated helps you build character!


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Wakey, wakey, Sultan Center....

Wondering where all the good food (and good prices) at Sultan Center have gone?  Ask one of their purchasing people.  

Don’t know if you have noticed or not, but I can’t find anything there anymore.  The only things that have kept me going to TSC are Tampax and Alpo dog food and they’re gone recently too.  It feels a lot like 2003 when all the items popular to Western people disappeared for a while and all of us were hoarding.  I’m back to hoarding.  (And if there ever comes a time when I can’t find Doritos, I’m going to strike.)

The reason why many Western peeps (like me) shop there is for brand recognition. And lately… well…. I’d rather pay co-op prices to get brands that I don’t know rather than Sultan Center prices for stuff that I don’t know.

I know that historically, TSC caters to Westerners, so I am wondering…. Judging from their listing of purchasers…. Why don’t they have westerners on staff?  Hmmmmm.  Lebanese seems to be the nationality of choice.

Heard they hired a new guy from Ireland.  That’s one.  Heard he’s firing lots of people and in NOT a nice way (security guards escorting good people to the door without warning or the ability to say goodbye to their colleagues).   Fascinating; that seems to be TSC’s  M.O.

TSC dudes:  Wake up and smell the stale produce!  You’ve got serious competition on the market and your customers are going to stray – and fast.

Kuwait's only used book store and cafe

This just arrived in my inbox and I SO have to pass it along.  I hope that no fuckwits will mess it up.... GREAT idea and I'm very happy to promote them.

Announcing the opening of
Kuwait's only used book store and cafe !!!
  • Over 25,000 quality budget priced  (most books under 3KD) titles of used and newly new books to browse through,
  • Hot and cold beverages and light snacks to enjoy,
  • Comfortable lounge chairs and sofa couches to sit on as you read,
  • Meeting hall available (for organizational, tutoring or private function use),
  • All in a relaxed, roomy atmosphere.

Book genres include:

  • Kuwait and Arabia themed (many of which are investment grade collectibles worthy of a place in any library)

  • Children's books (over 10,000 baby board books to teenage readers - all from the USA) in our special KIDZ ZONE

  • Archie Comics

  • Manga Comics

  • Travel, Romance, Cook books, TOEFL study books, non-fiction and SO much more.

    Situated in the heart of Salmiya Block 10 (EASY, AMPLE and FREE PARKING AVAILIBLE). Just east of Amman Street - behind Al Rashid Hospital. 
    Email us for a map.
     *** If you have GPS or map feature on your IPhone or Blackberry, it's in Salmiya Block 10 on 1 Street between Suleiman Aldsani Street and Al Dhahhak Bin Qeis Street. ***
    *** Coordinates to our front door are 29.327545 North - 48.0585444 East ****
    Around the corner from the Titanic Building and Sanbouk Supermarket in the old 'Lucky Corner'.
    Otherwise print these directions out.
    Directions from  Highway 30: Heading north toward Kuwait City, turn right onto 5th Ring Road toward Salmiya. Stay in right lane and immediately slide over onto the service road. (If you miss this, you'll have to double back.)  

    At light, turn left onto Essa Al Qatami Street.
    There will be Salmiya Park on your right.
    Go straight through the roundabout.
    AFTER 2 speed bumps turn left.
    Turn right when road ends.
    Make the first left. You will see a football field on right. 
    Turn right when road ends.
    Take the first left.
    After the car mechanic shop, immediately look right and see a 9 floor building across from an empty lot. There's a banner which reads "Better Trading". Look for the Red/Orange painted door on the front of the 9 story building. Open the Red/Orange door, go down the stairs and we're there waiting for you. 

    REMEMBER: Look for a BIG empty lot with a 9 story building across from it. We're in the basement - down a Red/Orange painted door.
    Starting from mid-October daily ~8 a.m. to 8+ p.m.
    Call us 94969650.

    Better Books will give 1/2 the purchase price of any book it sells back as store credit when a customer returns it - in other words, return our books and we give you A DISCOUNT on your next purchase.
    Further, Better Books will buy any quality book for store credit. Bring them in, most genres and titles welcome.


    Better Books will have a free MOVIE NIGHT for all. Enjoy classic movies with beverages and light snacks every week. Scheduled movies include: 
    •  Georgia O'Keeffe (with Joan Allen and Jeremy Irons),
    •  Blood Wedding (a Spanish classic with English sub-titles),
    •  Himalaya - the Making of a Chief (Award winning film shot in Nepal),
    •  Butterflies are Free (popular 1972 comedy with Goldie Hawn),
    •  Mother India (the MOTHER of all Hindi movies),
    •  Rocky Horror Picture Show (this particular viewing is by invitation only - popcorn provided;), and many , many more.

    BETTER BOOKS (& Cafe) promises to be THE place in Kuwait to meet in a relaxed atmosphere.

    Forward this email to your friends.
    Support Kuwaiti entrepreneurs. Stop by or call 94969650.

    DG in Bazaar Magazine Interview

    So, I did an interview for Bazaar Magazine this month.  You can get this month's magazine from any Starbucks and lots of other venues around Kuwait.  I don't like the screen capture photo, but ok, whatever.  Cool.

    Monday, October 11, 2010

    Service Hero - Rock on!

    Finally!  A place to vent!  (Other than my blog).  I'm just waiting for a category for OSN...

    After the injury (see post below), they cut my signal again at 12 am mid-movie.  Bastards.  AND I'M PAYING THEM FOR THE "SERVICE".

    Go check out Service Heros.  Look out Kuwait, looks like the Angie's List concept is coming to your neighborhood after all.

    Sunday, October 10, 2010

    Animal Friends League is Re-Opening!

    After the fire on March 23, 2010, AFL is finally opening again.  Way to go!  So many people made generous donations.  There is a re-opening bash this Friday, October 15th at the shelter in Wafra.  It is open to the public.  Check out their website for more information.  LINK

    Orbit Showtime Network (OSN) is PISSING ME OFF

    I can understand why OSN is spending probably millions of dollars giving out new receivers and dishes and subcontracting out satellite technicians.  They want people to stop stealing their signal.  In a few months, their technology will be outdated and people will start stealing their signals again.  In the meantime, you can't watch OSN until  you get the F-ing receiver and the F-ing dish.

    I have had OSN technicians come to my house 2 times now.  They're here now.  They've been here for 3 hours - trying to figure out the system of my building.


    They first told me that I would need a new dish.  Fine.  Bring the F-ing dish.  They brought it today.  Now, they are telling me that they can't configure their system to the system of the house because they can't figure out what goes where.

    "Call the technician who installed the system"
    I call my landlady.  She says she will call their guy.  ETA?  No idea. (as usual - it's Kuwait).

    OSN dudes, "When the other technician comes, call us.  We'll come back."
    oooooooh, I have lived in Kuwait long enough to know that game - really well.  I don't think so.  Fix it NOW.

    So, I tell them to drop a cable from the top of the building (I give up).  If the land lady wants to change it, she can change it when her guy finally shows up - sometime around Christmas or maybe New Years (whichever is more inconvenient for me, I'm sure.)  She's going to be totally pissed off when she sees it.  Good.

    I've been here for 2 years and I still can't even get a land line in my apartment.  Apparently, the house isn't registered with the place that issues civil IDs or some bullshit like that.  RRRRRRRRRRRRRR.  If I could get a land line, I could get DSL.  If I could get DSL, I wouldn't f-ing bother with OSN at all because they PISS ME OFF.

    Oh, I told them to drill a hole through the window.  Now they are breaking the window frame instead.  What a bunch of A-holes!

    So, they start to walk out with the new receiver and I DON'T HAVE ANY TV.  I don't think so.  'Put it back.'  I'm not going to be without television.  Dudes - you are supposed to FIX IT not appear and destroy.

    October 13, 2010 OSN Saga Update

    So last night, the nice Lebanese Satellite Dude (LSD) from the building owner's side came and looked at my set-up (TV/sat).  It was the ONLY time my Kuwaiti landlady has ever visited me inside the apartment in 2 years and wouldn't ya know it - The Man is sitting on the sofa in serwal (them thar long underwear pants that them thar Kuwaitis wear) and my big USA t-shirt.  Nice sat dude  looked at The Man and said (Arabic), "I'm sure I know you from somewhere.  I'm sure a police station...."  tee hee.  He didn't elaborate.  LSD went upstairs, wiggled a wire, and shazayam - TV again.  Then, he said, "Tell them disec 2 and Nilesat."   (Would someone please explain a "disec" to me.  WTF is that??)

    So, OSN dudes came back this morning (3 days later) with the receiver under their arm, I told them 'disec 2 and Nilesat' and I got, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!  Disec 2"  (whateverthefuck that means!).  Looked like their internal lightbulbs had switched on (albeit a 25 watter).   and shasayam - New OSN decoder works.

    Nobody had to break a window.  Nobody had to throw a cable 5 floors from the roof.  Nobody died.

    They were walking out the door with MY Humax decoder (which I bought in Hawalli), thinking that I wouldn't notice.  'Excuse me - not so fast...' and grabbed it back. They feigned innocence - as IF.    If its not an OSN receiver that you got from OSN, you don't give it to them.  They'll take it somewhere and sell it to the next guy.  I don't think so.

    Tuesday, October 05, 2010

    Kuwait Base Operations Contract Awarded



    I just know this was a very foolish time for my former employer to disemploy me (lots of giggles).  Oh, but I wish them the very best (without my help).  Suuuuuure I do....

    KBOS3 is the contract to support the US military at all bases in Kuwait. CSA has it through the end of December.   Regardless of troop withdrawal from Iraq, the lease at Arifjan (the logistics hub for the region) is FIFTY years.  The troops have to come out of Iraq and go somewhere (through Kuwait).  Equipment has to be forwarded through Kuwait.  Yup, it's going to get leaner, but there will still be work to do.

    Has anyone heard anything about the Anham contract?  (more giggles, tee heeeee).  Oops - hire Filipino and Indian drivers ... lots of them... the same ones who held strikes at Agility when they didn't get paid on time...but wait.... they can't get into Iraq any  more, can they?

    Karma!  Aint she a BITCH?

    Monday, October 04, 2010

    Blonde Highlights Post (yes again)

    I'm still getting a lot of questions about where to go in Kuwait for blonde highlights.  My top 2 favs are still Ashlee at Strands, Fanar; and Emma at Tony and Guy, Corniche.  Both will cost you, so be prepared to shell out around 70 KD.

    This in from a reader who recently went to Ashlee:

    Just thought I'd let you know that I finally got around to going to Ashlee at Strands today for cut and highlights. I was pleased that I did because, by Kuwait standards, she's pretty good. And compared to the teeny-bopping, party girls at Cutting Edge, she's brilliant! She actually listens and remembers what you say, (teeny boppers tend to suffer from memory loss depending on how much alcohol they have consumed the night before and tend to forget what you told them when you first sat down to 15 minutes later when you are again sitting down with wet hair!  - Bless their hung-over little cotton socks!!) 

    She is pretty expensive though, I paid KD78 for cut, blow dry and full head of highlights but I think I'll be going back as I don't need a full head each time.

    So there you have it.  If you have any recommendations, let me know.  "Where do I get blonde highlights in Kuwait?" is the #2 most frequently asked question I receive.

    Sunday, October 03, 2010

    I love the Hashemi II

    Is it just me or does the Hashemi II appear to:

    • Be listing slightly to the right?
    • Have black mold on the entire side?

    Looks like it's time for some maintenance.

    Saturday, October 02, 2010

    3 Horse Dream

    Interpret me this...

    I had a dream last night about 3 horses:  a dark brown one, a brown one, and a tan one.  I was riding one (not sure which color) through the mountains.  We stopped somewhere and all 3 of the horses walked over to me and put their heads up against mine.  I felt warm and loved.

    What does it mean?

    DG Pity Party: You come ovah!

    Otay so Thursday was my last day at work.  Of course, no one from upper management or my supposed boss (the upper management guy who could never figure out if I really  worked for him or not) said goodbye or wished me well.  I sent around the standard "goodbye and good luck" e-mail to everyone- yada yada.

    My long-time boss is an American guy who I have worked for/with/for (on and off - depending on the whims of upper management), for the full 4 years I was there.   He is a highly ethical man of very few words and has kept his job for close to 15 years by keeping his head down and giving out just enough information and never more.  He has always kept his cool (and in turn, helped me keep mine).  He wrote me the NICEST letter of recommendation I've ever received from anyone and it made me tear up.He's never been emotional, but has always had my back when I needed him the most.  He is a guy who doesn't take sick days or days off for no reason.  Thursday, he didn't come to work.  It actually meant more to me than if he had come in.  I know that he didn't want to say goodbye because in contrast, I am an over-the-top, mushy, huggy-kissy person who would have embarrassed the heck out of him with my emotional display.  He really honoured me just by not being there and it meant a lot.  Flip-side:  Who knows, maybe I'm reading too much into it (as usual?) and he was just out looking for a new job too!  I plastered  his office door with yellow smiley faces - which I know he hates - and left him a mushy thank-you letter (which I'm sure that he'll feel squirmy about but it was heart-felt).

    I didn't have to go into the office for the last week of September, but I did.  On one of those days, the only other female manager in my  office brought in a corporate document that I wrote, with a gazillion little sticky tabs down the side and that was full of red ink and exclamation points (!!!! hate them !!!!).  She said, "You need to do this..."  oh no she di'int....  She's a nice woman and I'm sure she was just the messenger, so I feel bad for biting her head off (I did).  The guy who had given it to her to give to me obviously wasn't man enough to face me directly and no one is left in the company who can do the work that I do (it  appears to be an easy task but I used 4 programs to get it there).  I refused.  He ran to the HR manager (waaaaaaaaaaaaaa).  HR dude told him to let it go.   I hear they are already seeking less-ethical local-market candidates to replace me - probably for less pay.  Good luck with that.  Maybe they can work on it.

    So, this leaves me jobless this coming week.  I have meetings; I have appointments; I still haven't been paid for September (puhleeze - at least pay on time when I'm walking out the door - just once?  Respect.).  I'm a very active person and I just can't get used to having nothing to do during the work week.

    Do any of you readers need consulting work done?  Copy writing?  Website content?  Comedic scripts?  Carpentry?  House keeping (no, I don't have a french maid's outfit and I'm not wearing one).   I feel WEIRD and I'm not liking it.

    Having said that - do you think I'll actually do my dishes or laundry this week or clean house?  Hell no I won't!  That's not real work.

    I still don't have a solid job offer; although it is early yet.  We'll see how that goes.  It's all very scary.

    The company's policy  is never to give an employee a going-away party:  Not a card, rarely a handshake, nada.  I got in trouble once for throwing a lunchtime gathering for a teaboy who had been with the company for 15 (yes FIFTEEN) years.  HR called me and asked me why I had done it.  Because I'm a HUMAN.  It's what we do....

    So, I decided that I'm really not a 1-hour-over-lunch-break McDonald's or Hardee's farewell party girl.  I would rather just not do that.  I throw birthday parties for myself, so why not a farewell party too?  I have invited everyone to my place this coming Friday.  God help me - I hope that I get paid by then otherwise I'll have a bunch of people just standing around.

    Ok, so let's talk about more practical issues:  My Hair.  (Sorry guys - girl talk now...)  Butterfly put in extensions about 10 days ago with micro links (which are SUPER expensive as it turns out in the beauty supply shops here).  I always wanted long, silky hair (everybody secretly does - even some of you guys - you know it.  If you didn't have a mullet, you wanted to look like Fabio back in the day.)  So, she put in the extensions and toned up my roots.  I know - I looked damn gorgeous.   It's true.... I have the photos to prove it...   and a week later, I was squealing in pain every time I went to bed.  'waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!  It huuuuuwts!'  Desert Dawg even when skittering under the bed every time I turned and let out a wail.   I'm sorry - I'm a frail white girl.  I will never be up to sistah-standards.  I have a low tolerance for pain.  Butterfly did her best to console me, "Just a few days... just give it a try...."   I called my friend, the girl formerly known as Sheesha Girl.  She wears extensions and had similar extension advice:  "Get used to it..."   How DO other women deal with it?  Butterfly didn't even put them in that tight.  I'm just a wussy.  I can't help it.  So, many hours of Butterfly's precious time-with-her-husband wasted later, the extensions came out.  Ah, deep sigh of relief.

    Let me publicly say, I AM SO SORRY, BUTTERFLY!  I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.  I just couldn't deal with it.  You did everything you possibly could, but I'm a hopeless, whiney cause.

    Ok, having said that, she gave me a kick-ass haircut and the color is great and I'm happy with my real hair.  She did with the scissors what no one else I have been to in Kuwait in 14 + years could:  She cut my hair on a slant.  Sounds simple, right?  Try asking someone here to do it:  chop, chop, chop.  The latest to do that was T&G by the way.  She did it fine on one side and chopped down the other.  Is it me??

    I'm bored.  Can you tell?