Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Bricks in the Sand?

I haven't been able to blog (for your information, MuslimArtist) because I am workin like a dawg all day (one of the partners is in town) and I'm so sleepy when I get home that I don’t even want to watch dirty movies anymore. I just go to sleep. That is so pathetic and lame.

I dreamt I was digging up bricks in the sand last night. What does that mean? Is it a Kharafi nightmare?

I haven't seen much of Mr. Paris lately, although I am liking him. He's saying the right stuff and it is genuine. My ears are Highly Sensitive Bullshit Detectors and the gauge has been detecting only trace levels.

Ironically, Future Husband and Father of My Children has been showing interest of late (aka "sniffin around"). What is with these guys and how do they automatically KNOW when other men are in the picture? Do they have jealousy radar or what? Why can't they just stretch out the luuuuuve? Why is it peaks and valleys? Am I the only female experiencing this phenomenon?

And then there is yet another man in the picture – totally handsome, yummy, funny, intelligent, etc. (a bowling buddy) – however, he is married and wants me to be Mutaa girl. I told him (in complete seriousness) that I would require a diamond (as in NOT ZIRCON) engagement ring as mahar. He laughed. I told him my ring size. Go forth, young man, to yonder jeweler! Yo – if I'm going to respect his wishes/religion, then damn if he's not gonna have to respect mine. Bada BING.

I think Mr. Paris is the best option. Of course, in 2 weeks, they will have all disappeared again and I will be in another valley because they can't figure out how to properly manage time.

And to make matters really pathetic – I haven't actually had the time to see any of these guys. Desert Dawg is even being neglected. Last night, she jumped into the bathtub; not a hint, but a demand.

What happened to my FUN life? What happened to happy hours and going to get massages and pedicures and hair treatments? What happened to shopping at gourmet shops and sipping wine? What happened to pretty dresses and dancing? Damn. . . this does suck!

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Official Bitching

The other night, I was bitchin to my friend who works for the Prime Minister. I complained mostly about the traffic in the free trade zone which is still very much on my damn nerves. When I got done with my incessant ramblings, I asked him if he could relay a compliment to Sabah Al Ahmad - that I have seen improvements since he has been PM. My friend said, "Why dont' you tell him yourself? We show him all the comments people post to his website." ( Finally, an Official way for me to vent!

This could be a good thing. Maybe I will become a regular. Maybe Sheikh Sabah and I will become buds and discuss various happenings around the country. Maybe I can give him my frank oppinion of things. Maybe.... I'll just get my ass kicked out of Kuwait. Ok, but now that I know someone will see something I've rambled about, my world has a different meaning.

Trucks in the free trade zone can't move between 6:30 and 9:30 am and 12:30 and 3:30 pm. At 9 am, they start rolling - causing everyone who is trying to get into the FTZ at that time a major butt pain. At 5:00 - when you would think that they wouldn't allow trucks on the road - there they is! Since the free trade zone is supposed to be international, most of us don't go home at 1:00 like the "normal" Kuwaiti population. We have to wait until international close o'business at 5. It sucks and not in a good way.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

What I'm Doing This Summer

Last night, I went to a meeting of homeboys (Americans) at a seafood restaurant. I usually don't like these meetings because they are full of Middle-Aged-Fat-White-Men-In-Blue-Suits, yuckity-yucking it up over dinner sans alcohol (unless it is at the U ASS Embassy - which I don't go to anyways because it is too stuffy). I'm having more fun at the meetings, lately, however - primarily due to the fact that I have found some buddies there and I get to flirt non-stop throughout the whole event (secretly giggling about the white men). Last night was no exception. My Buddies are Kuwaitis and we now have a secret code with hand signals and noises that cracks us all up. I am like the bad little kid during group activities. I am The Instigator.

The downside was that I (and several other people) got sick from the dinner. The food was really bad. I should just learn to bring sushi with me in a cooler or something. I don't want to eat anything else anymore.

Ok - except for the little French cafe my new interest (Mr. Paris) took me to last Wednesday. It is at the rear of Fanar under the area where the cinemas are. They have AMAZING steak (that's all they serve). Go there - it's yummy.

Mr. Paris is Mr. Paris because he used to own a hotel - guess where - that's right: Paris. He's Kuwaiti. Also went to school in the US. I met the traditional way: online. Thought he would probably turn out stupid or fugly, but so far, has been rockin my world (to an extent - I don't rock so easily). I have received no flowers as of yet and his attentiveness level needs to be kicked up a few notches (they all need proper training), but he's intelligent; funny; handsome; has all his hair and teeth; and divorced (don't worry - I'm checking out that last part). I'm too damn cynical. I don't take anything at face value anymore. How can you?

I've had a crappy couple of weeks. Have you noticed that odd numbered years SUCK? I always have much more fun during even-numbered years.

Today is father's day. What the hell am I doing here away from my family and it is 120 degrees and dust is now part of my skintone and my job doesn't make me happy and I haven't gotten flowers in a long time?

Oh! Sorry! Brainfart. I'm back.

My sister is at her beach house this weekend in Maryland. No doubt drinking chardonay and eating crabs and going out on their boat, etc. etc. (August, baybeeeeeeeeeee!)

I get to walk over 4' dunes from where my car is parked to my front entranceway (construction). Does that count? When will KHARA FI end the madness?????? I woke up at 5:15 am yesterday to the sound of jackhammers outside my window. I swear to God that I would have thrown something at them, but I would have had to get out of bed to do it (I'm thinkin a potato gun and some rotten tomatos).

Have you been to the scientific center and seen the size of the acquarium? THAT is how much tequilla I am going to drink when I get back to the States in August! Sha-zayam!

Friday, June 03, 2005

Yo, Stupid!

So, I met a man a while back on a blind date. We talked on the phone for a while and then decided to meet to have coffee. We hit it off and there was some chemistry. We talked for a while... I got my flirt on. During our 3 hours of conversation, he told me about a friend of his at work who told him that he shouldn't meet me - that all American women in Kuwait are really fat. Oooooooooh tay. Blinddateman was happy when he met me, and said that he would report the truth to his colleague the following day. Everything fine so far.

Then, Blinddateman called and asked me to dinner the following Thursday and I should decide on a restaurant. So far, so good.

He called back the next day and said, "You don't mind if I bring my friend, do you? He is dying to see what you look like." FUMBLE!!!!

I told him to have a great time on his romantic date with his friend.

What makes people so stupid?

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Oh My God! Villa Moda is Having a Sale!

At first, I thought it was voting time for municipal dudes or something - cars were parked everywhere at Villa Moda's end of the Free Trade Zone. Then, I thought it might have something to do with Kuwait University, but noooooooooooooooo....

Let's all drive to Villa Mucha ... no wait...let's all have our drivers take us to Villa Mucha! Let's have the drivers park in rows, 2 to 3 cars across - and then wait in the heat for us. Everybody who's "anybody" is going to be there! And since all the girls will be there, all the men should go to check them out; frontin' that they have more than 2kd in their pockets at the time.

Honestly, I long to have a driver and I don't think I could afford even a pair of panties at Villa Mucha. I am too insecure to go there anyhoo: Maybe some too-cute little princess will strike up a conversation with her too-cute princess friends about the size and circumferance/orbit of my butt and I would spend the next several days in a bad mood. Further, there are only 2 times when I live in fear of my dearly-beloved Kuwaiti sisters: 1) buffet lines at weddings, and 2) sales. I have learned, in either case, to get the hell out of the way and quickly.

UFO's (Unexplained Freaky Occurrances) at the Free Trade Zone! Ok, let's just call it a "coincidence" that the 3' deep pot holes along the exit road (and many others directly around Villa Moda) have been filled this week and the pavement resurfaced; even though cars have literally been dropping into them for the past year. Let's call it "ironic" that all of a sudden, during VM sale days, Ports Authority policemen have been directing traffic; even though they are nowhere in sight the remaining 363 days of the year when fender-benders take place almost on a daily basis. Villa Moda is having a SALE!

And now that I am on a roll...More UFO's:

The FTZ is a penninsula and over the past few years (as anticipated) is overflowing with new companies and lots of employees. You would think that SOMEONE in some governmental planning capacity might have thought of this stuff, right?

There is only one road into and out of the Free Tee Zee. WHY?

At 60 and 80 (I'm a typical American - the kind that goes by road numbers and not names; 60 is Ghazalli, but I haven't figured out what 80 is), the exit out of the Free Trade Zone (also referred to as "the Free Tee Zee") heading towards Kuwait City has been cut off to traffic for years. Now that exit to 80 heading both directions is under construction. WHY?

Trucks are restricted from using the road during certain hours, but at PEAK hours (like 5:00) they ARE allowed on the road, causing back-ups that can leave people stuck in their cars for anywhere from 30 minutes to over an hour. WHY?

At 12:00 (lunchtime - duuh), the traffic is so bad that it takes you about 45 minutes to get out of the FTZ. There are also only 2 restaurants in the FTZ. You can only eat so many Barnie's sandwiches and salads and Movenprick's restaurants don't open for "lunch" until 12:30 and the service sucks. Might as well stay in the office and get delivery from (which is really good, by the way).

Further, since there is a 3' deep pothole in one lane (maybe that one is too far away from Villa Mucha to be filled?), all the trucks, cars, busses, FRICKIN MORONS have to squeeze into 1 lane. Bobarino takes great joy in driving his rental Yukon out of the FTZ - pushing anybody who tries to squeeze into his lane without a Proper Invitation back into their rightful place: behind him. "Go ahead - HIT my bigass rental truck!"

Here is the real question: What has anyone got to rush TO at 5:30 pm? Happy hour at T.G.I.Friday's? I think not.

I have scoped it out: There just are NOT any places I could illegally 4-wheel-drive my Discovery over to navigate around the traffic. Alas, it is futile.

I thought about ferry service - maybe from Ras Salmiya. The problem with this scenario is the time it takes to load and off-load. I just heard that Kuwait is planning a metro system. That should be interesting. Dunno if it will go to the FTZ, but by then - maybe they would have figured out the traffic problem.

I have no life. I am a pathetic spinster girl. That is why everything annoys me. That is why I have the time to sit down and complain about everything that annoys me. :D