I've also been working at a customer site, collecting requirements and attending stupid meetings. I finally gave in and did something incredibly smart: I bought a digital recorder, so that I wouldn't actually have to sit there!
Ok, birthday week (yes, week) was a blast. I can't remember when I've laughed so hard – maybe during the occupation when I was in training with SheeshaGirl in DC in the Red Cross and we, as trauma trainees, got continually kicked out of the exams. During the exams, the trainees must hold the victim's head (stabilizing the neck and backbone) until help arrives (by shouting "Somebody call 911!!!" until somebody comes to the aid). SheeshaGirl always left me to "go get help" (she was supposed to BE the HELP – Kuwaitiyah – macu faydah). I kept running over and pretending to be a gay man named Kevin who was an Aquarius and saying, "how may I help you today?" Anyways, long story short: Birthday Week 2005…
I've to say that the lunch at Sakura was absolutely, by far, the most fun. 10 of us got into one of those party rooms with the very-hard-to-get-out-of chair things (do you think that Japanese people have less trouble getting out of them? They must.) MuslimArtist, Bobarino, his girlfriend "Fish" (not because she's smelly or anything, but because her name is the same as a fish), SheeshaGirl and SailorMan, Brazilian and Jeff, CineDude and Naz were all there. It was still light outside, so of course, Bunny was home sleeping (he only ventures outside the batcave at night). Is sushi euphoric or is it just me? The more you eat, the funnier everyone gets (gee, like alcohol - how ironic!).
Anyhoo, leave it to Jeff to start up the gutter talk. I didn't KNOW what a "dirty sanchez" or "tossed salad" was. If only I could go back in time and erase those two GOD-AWFUL images from my mind, I would feel much better (especially because the turd talk started just as they brought the chocolate mousse cake - EEEEEEWWWW).
It is incredibly difficult to make Babarino blush and get grossed out: either feat would be hilarious, but together, there were just no words to describe it. I noticed, however, that he did manage to finish his cake. I couldn't.
I know that I am usually hard to gross out. I pride myself in it. The one time (not at band camp) that I can recall when I was truly disgusted (to the point of having to pull the car over as I was driving from gagging) was when my friend, CT (a nurse), told me a story of a woman who was comatose. She described, in acute detail, the smell of the room and the source of the offending odor. Burn it from my memory!!!
How come everything ends up with potty talk? As my nefew says, "Aunt (DesertGirl), you got potty mouth!" Yep. Guess so.
We went to a party (not a potty) on Thursday night at CineDude's house. I hadn't seen MuslimArtist in a looooooooooooooonnnng time and she looked drop-dead gorgeous in a dress I must possess and high heel (FM) sandals. Everybody was dancing, except for me (not in the mood). The people there were great (with the exception of one weasely dude from the U ASS Embassy). Good crowd PLUS M&M's at the door. I gave Bunny the green ones. He didn't get it. I had to explain. I still didn't get "any". Not even a birthday sympathy bop. (Sadness, heavy sigh.)
For the actual birthday day, Bunny and I went to the Hilton for dinner at the Blue Elephant (I call it the "Blue Feel"). I ate like a horse and he surprised me with a strawberry cheesecake which I haven't finished yet (because as soon as I do – I am on a diet. Which means that I will keep a piece in the freezer for about a year). It was a lovely evening (I still didn't get "any" – sadness, heavy sigh).
My mother called to read me my birthday horoscope: I'm supposed to get married in August (any handsome men out there wish to assist?). My mom thinks that's great because I will be in the States in August, so they can save money on the plane fare. She thinks of everything. I just adore her.
DUDE, WHERE'S MY PRINCE????
There was yet ANOTHER meeting held at the KGB to tell people that they could NOT be our friends anymore. Well hel-loooooo dumbasses, you can't do that to people. They are so bad. INTEGRITY – do you GET IT? It think it is funny that they have placed so much importance on me and several others who left there under similar circumstances. I must be a very influential person, don't you think?
My philosophy is this: Happy employees are productive employees. Treat people well and they will treat you well. Companies don't make friends by screwing people over.
There was a quote by someone who was president (or CEO or Chairman) of a computer software company in the Mid-West US. He said, "At 5:00 every evening, I watch as 95% of my company's assets drive out the front gate." That's just it – the company IS the people they employ. It isn't about material assets, it is about the people who work with them.
Ok, on to another gross subject… Enough serious talk.
I changed the colors in my apartment to "summer" from "winter" (white and green from burgundy). That is why my dog got sick and puked on literally everything white I have: my new white silk duvet; my white sofa, my white carpet. Yak! Yak! Yak! The 3 vets who looked at her this morning thought that was hilarious. Thankfully, DesertDog was kind enough to actually go outside before the explosive diarrhea set in.
This is my world and how pathetic it is.
DesertDawg is ok now (another trip down to IVH). She had a fever and was suffering from dehydration. It was probably caused when I changed her normal dog food (DAMN YOU SULTAN CENTER for not stocking the regular!!!!) in combination with the affects of the booster vaccinations that she had 3 days ago.
I am now looking forward to another fun weekend (please, please, please) free of dog yak/poop and hopefully with a single, tall, dark, handsome man present. Maybe my future husband (hurry up, damn it – we only have a few months!!!).
Should I look for my dress this weekend?
Book a hall?
Hire a wedding planner?
Call the florist?