Monday, September 30, 2013

Cheech Al-Flan

Arab Times repost, Sept 28, 2013: Barely two days after departing Kuwait to begin his tertiary education in the United States, Kuwaiti student Ahmad Adel Abdul-Hussein was deported back to Kuwait from Los Angeles, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily. According to Ahmad, the US authorities claimed he was Mexican by nationality and birth and had found errors in his traveling passport and the arrival time. Earlier in 2011, the student secured approval of the Higher Education Ministry to study in the US and joined an institute in October the same year before gaining admission to a university later. He said the US immigration officers detained and grilled him inside a dark room at Los Angeles Airport and his efforts to reach officials of the Kuwaiti Embassy on phone proved futile, as nobody picked his calls. 

Consequently, he left a voice message while he remained in detention until 3:00am. He stressed that FBI agents moved him to an underground detention outside the airport the next day and was chained and led back to the airport later. He explained that all European airlines they approached refused to carry him, so security officers continued making contacts for seven hours until American Airlines transported him to London. He said the US officials delivered him to their counterparts at Heathrow Airport and was referred to the Kuwaiti counter with his passport, grilling documents and reports which indicated US officials had punched his passport, stamped deportation on his passport and revoked his visa, with several other allegations.

He reiterated he remained a bonafide student of his university until the day of his deportation, even though the US authorities based his deportation on failure to meet stipulated conditions, reiterating he never committed any offense throughout his stay in that country. He noted the Kuwaiti Consul in Los Angeles contacted him after he arrived in Kuwait to find out what had happened. He urged the Ministry of Higher Education to help him complete his education in the United Kingdom.


No really, our TSA's are some of the most sophisticated in the world....
"Well, Billy Bob... he looks like oner dem 'Mexicans...."

I also blame the Kuwaiti officials in the States.  I can tell you first-hand how hard it often is to get someone to answer the phone there.  And if it is after working hours - you're F-ed.

The 7 Words You Don't Want to Hear... when approaching a weekend checkpoint in Kuwait

"Stop the car.  I'm going to vomit."
No no noooooooooooooooo!!!!  Not HERE.  Not NOW.

So let me back up a little.  Riyadh (as in the guy from Riyadh who drove 7 hours last time to take me to dinner)  came to visit me this weekend.  It was lovely of him to take time off work, get on a plane, rent a car... all to come see me.

Expectations are NOT a good thing.  I was expecting romantic dinners, walks, spending time together. Always lower your expectations so that you're not disappointed.  I guess what I should have expected was more along the lines of, "I don't want to go to dinner.  I'm on a diet."  Em... ok... well, I'm hungry....  What about me?  I made a sandwich.  (Guess all that food I bought for his visit was for naught.)

When someone comes to visit you, you also find out a lot about their character.  Riyadh and I immediately were not well suited for each other.  He's persnickety.  By that, I mean fussy and annoying.  Too many questions.  Too much drama over little details.  It was tiring.

But, of course, that wasn't the "fun" part!

The first night he arrived, I offered to take him to visit my friends.  He had asked to meet my friends when he got here.  So I agreed. But that led to questions like, "Who will be there?"  "How long have you known them?" "Is it couples? What kind of people are they?"  Dude, are you coming or not?  I shouldn't have gone.  I shoulda known better.  Nipped it in the bud.  But, we went.

After 3 glasses, Riyadh is in the soup.  With one hand on one of the girls, the other holding my hand, he's whispering in my ear that I, "May be the one he's been looking for."   Oh, aren't I the lucky girl?

I decide it is time to go home.  We get into the car.  He's asking ME if I am ok to drive.... like I'm going to let HIM get behind the wheel.

The first time was on the highway.  "Stop the car....I'm going to vomit.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry."  Ok fine.  (I'm wishing we had taken his rental car.)  The second time was closer to home.  I pulled off somewhere out of the way for that one.  "Where are we?  Are we close?"  We're almost home.... and then...  I see the line of cars with the flashing lights at the front.  Oh fuuuuuuuuu.....

And one more time.... "Stop the car....."  Oh nooo!!!!  Not HERE.  Not NOW.   OhmaGod, OhmaGod, OhmaGod.   That would have done it.  It would have been public and over.  But, he held it.

The cop took my license, registration, and civil ID. No problem there.  Then asked for Riyadh's. Luckily, I had asked him in advance to have it ready, and he did.  He still had a hard time just handing it to the guy.  The cop said, "Pull over to the right."


So, I did.  Various boys in other sports cars stared.  A ranking officer walked - not to MY side of the car, but Riyadh's side of the car, and asked for his ID. I was in the clear, but if they asked us for blood, I likely might have trace amounts (ANY alcohol is illegal and you can be arrested).  Not cool.  There was a lot of close-up-sniffing by the officer, discussion of family ties and general questions.  The guy knew.  Riyadh knew dude knew;  he finally fessed up and the officer basically told him, "why didn't you just tell me so?"  Let us go.


So, I took the back roads from there.  2 more vomit stops (one very close to a police station) and we finally arrived home. Riyadh had a nice comfortable sleep:  On my carpet on my guest bathroom floor.  I checked on him 3 times.  He seemed to be still breathing.

The rest of the weekend kinda went like that. We did manage to go to a few malls... that was it.  Even at the malls -  we went places, but not together.  He wanted to go walking (which I translated to seeing Kuwait alone).  I went and did my own thing - alone.

Bye!  Have a nice trip back to from-where-you-came....

And I missed seeing my Kuwaiti family on a Friday.  The first time in months and months.  I miss them so bad.  I don't want to do that again. I was all sniffly and whimpery on Friday afternoon.  Didn't like it 'tall.

.... but now, let me tell you about the BEST part of the weekend....

Desert Guy.  (Sigh)  Now, I know I shouldn't be re-warming leftovers after their expiration date, but.... It is just so comfortable.  Now I KNOW him.  I know how to deal.

Thursday night (before Riyadh showed up on Friday), I cooked dinner (yes yes, I did too!  Shrimp...)  and brought it over to the Hawalli Secret Hide Out (that's his secret hide out, not mine.  Mine is in Kabd.)  He and I and 3 of our mutual friends watched TV and talked all night.  I fell asleep on the sofa feeling completely comfortable in their company.  I woke up and DGY gave me hugs and kissed my hand.  Sigh.  FRIENDS.

DGY's friend, Z, asked me about this year and what I had done since I saw them in February.  I reluctantly told him that I needed to withdraw from everybody.  He said, "It sounds like you were broken."  I guess I was.  That is exactly how I felt.

When I was "broken", then I found Clean.  Maybe he was part of my recovery.  Maybe I could pick up the pieces and put myself together for something better.  I dunno.  I feel a lot more "solid" (if you can call it that) now.

DGY and I never talk about Teddy or any of the other friends.   We're just enjoying being together.  His friends seem a lot more supportive.  DGY and I are ONLY FRIENDS and that's the way I'm looking at it. I'm not making any promises.  I don't expect him to.  But it is just fun.  If it stops being fun, I'll stop visiting.

Note of appreciation:  Without La Senza prompting me, I might not have posted about this, but she seems to find hilarity in my life and foibles, so here it is.  Thanks, Girl. 

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Who remembers Kuwait when...

  • Khaleejiya Building was the tallest building downtown
  • THE mall was Laila Gallerie
  • Shawarmas were 250 fils
  • Hungry Bunny and Happy Duck were the best places for fast food
  • Snacks restaurant's servers were all little people (if you can remember Snacks)
  • Guys threw cassette tapes with their phone numbers on them to girls in traffic
  • Friday market was topless (didn't have a roof)
  • The best singles place in town was The Sultan Center, Salmiya, on weekend nights
  • Weekends were Thursday and Friday
  • There was a grounded ship (which was actually a Marriott Hotel) at the end of Gulf Road (where KPC HQ is now)
  • Sheikh Fahad's Lincoln Continental on the Gulf Road across from what is now the aquarium
  • When there was no aquarium 
  • The Drive In movie at 6th Ring Road and 50 (where 360 is now)
  • When Kout Mall was a sand pit next to a harbor for small boats

Got any more?

Tuesday, September 24, 2013


I SO want one of these.  The PINK one!   It's a taser attachment for your iPhone.  Who the F KNEW???  Mommy, it's what I want for Christmas, ok?

It is an iPhone case that houses a 650K volt stun gun and is capable of giving your phone up to 20 hours of additional standby battery!  $139 (40kd).

See CNN's Report HERE.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Um-A and other women I admire (and Dunkin-Donuts-Induced hachi el fathi)

I talked to Cleans step-mom, Um-A,  last night.  She made me feel better - as always.  I wanted to apologize to her for being so nervous at Friday Family Lunch (that's right, haters, I have lunch every Friday afternoon with my ARAB x-boyfriend's ENTIRE BEDOUIN FAMILY in a BEDOUIN/conservative area) after I saw Mr. Clean.

Um-A is  is very sweet, very welcoming, very soft-spoken.  Tells me that she loves me often.  Tells me that Clean loves me often (some things are easier to believe than others given the circumstances). She also makes excellent lunches.  Abu-A always sits next to me and piles more and more food on my plate and they always send me home with to-go packages (which I end up eating for lunch and dinner for the next few days to follow).

I wish I could be more like Um-A; forgiving, kind, never-says-a-harsh-word kind of woman. She has a very calming affect on me.  I know several more of those type of women who I should pay more attention to as role models.  Instead, I'm me; going Pompeii when confronted.

My mom prays for me.  Um A prays for me.  Why can't I just be better and being forgiving and kind to others?  Why can't I just "turn the other cheek" or the equivalent?  Why do I have all this pent-up rage (ok, that could just be LackO'Nookie)?

I think it is easy to get frustrated; or at least place blame on frustration.  I use "Kuwait" or "this part of the world" as an excuse, but truth be told, I was equally as nervous living in the outskirts of DC, worrying about how I was going to juggle my bills every month, fighting traffic and road rage (with people who are actually LEGALLY allowed to carry concealed weaponry) and dealing with people who looked down on my for my lack of higher education (even though they received their degrees from Podunk U in Bumfuck, Midwest). Now I've got a good job (where people listen to what I have to say based on merit, not what's hanging on my wall), a beautiful home, and much less worry about bills and armed road rage (for as much as I poke fun at Abdulfettah; things have seemed to have calmed down on the roads a lot since his Reign of Terror).

Ok, enough about that.  I gots to go call my sisters and some girlfriends tonight.

Ok, I am definitely NOT Mother Teresa....

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Kissed by a camel

(No, I'm talking about a REAL camel, pervs!)

After the Pompeii ordeal with Clean, my usual Secret Hide Out Crew called to tell me to git over there.  Halfway to the Kingdom of Kabd, they called back and changed plans.  OMG.  (What is UP with people these days?)  So, just like that, not 5 minutes later, some old(er) friends called with a farm a little past the Secret Hide Out and said, "Hey, where have you been??  It's been MONTHS.  Come over..." So, je did.

I didn't know they had camels.  I knew they had Johnny and Mr. Smirnoff, but I never saw the camels behind the big fence.

Things I've learned about going to see livestock:  Do NOT wear your Kenneth Cole 4" heels.  I just took them off (I probably got foot and mouth disease or something, but better than wrecking expensive comfortable sexy shoes).

Anyhoooser, there was a mommy and baby camel and the baby camel, Ablaa, came over and kissed me on the mouth.  OMG, how cuuuuuuuuuuuute!  She was so frickin adorable.  I tried to take pics, but they just didn't come out (too dark, even under a full moon).  What a great night.

I love going to visit OLD friends.  Always happy to see me and just hang.

Yesterday, I spent the entire day in the water at the beach with Desert Guy.  I missed him.  He's better as a friend than a boyfriend.  It sounds like he's nostalgic.... Said a lot of "stuff".... Don't know how that all is going to work out, but we'll see.  Thankfully, we're not talking about ancient history or ancient people.  Bygones.  Just hanging with his group of friends and going to visit other people.

I slept really good last night - and the night before.  I thought I was going to be all wound up, but I was good.

I Snapped.... The "Gone Pompeii" Post

I am guilty of some very low-class behavior and to be quite honest, there are pros and cons to it.  I don't know if I feel bad or good about it.  Although, I am bordering more on the "I shouldn't lower myself to him" and "I done wrong."

I saw Clean at his dad's house this weekend.  It's his house (not where he lives, but it's still his home).  He can come and go as he wishes.  But he knew I would be there.  His dad and step-mom promised me a thousand times that he wouldn't be there.  They fibbed.  I believe it was all in the name of getting us back together.

Not a good idea.  Hell hath no fury like... well, like ME.  Zero to biotch in 2.5 seconds....

He acted as if nothing had happened.  Walked right over, grabbed my hand, kissed me on both cheeks.   Complimented me (I did look good that day).  Smiled.  Joked.  In front of the whole family.

What infuriated me the most was the pretending that nothing had ever happened.  He just walked in like he had done nothing wrong.  He could have chosen to talk to me before showing up.  He could have apologized anytime during the weeks since August 11th when I last saw him (2nd day of Eid, the day after I got back from the States).  He chose not to.  He just pretended nothing had happened between him.  "And so you're back, from outer space.  I just walked in to find you here with that sad (although he didn't look sad) look upon your face...."

His brothers (my "allied forces") remained quiet, but later told me that they were shocked and saddened by what they saw him do.  It was like he just didn't care about me and wanted me to know it.

Fire is not what I was feeling inside.  Maybe something like Pompei or Chernobyl.  I didn't blow.  Not ....quite....yet....

His step-mom asked him to sit next to me, was being very complimentary of him, "Oh look, (he) is cares about you.  He's giving you the best food..."  Hold it together, Desert Girl.  She's a kind, decent, righteous woman who only wants the best for you.  She's not your target.

I never got a visual on my target because I refused to look at him.  As soon as he was close, I looked at the ground or away.  He made it a point to get into my line of sight.

So while he was in another room, I made my polite exit to the family and left.

My reaction didn't come until later.  And I wasn't even planning it.  I guess I was in a state of shock.  I wasn't thinking about anything except how I would get out of the house.... and then all of a sudden, as soon as I was home in SANcuARY, waaaaBAM!

I am the queen of evil SMSs.  I don't need to write a letter.  I can bang out 1000 SMSs simultaneously.  And I gave it to him good.  Therefore, so happened the low-class behavior by me.  I used every means of degrading terminology I could think of, starting with "If you EVER touch me again, be it my hand or anywhere else, I will make sure that you can never have children..." By the time I was done, I had a terrible headache and a whole lot of bad-karma points racked up against me.  Not good.

I'm sorry, God.  I failed you.

A very nice, soft-spoken African man who was at Camel Farm listened while I told him the story.  He quietly said, "I'm sure he knows that you are very hurt and angry.  I'm sure he knows you didn't mean it."  It was nice.  Not an out, but nice.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Starbucks: No Guns Please

Article from NPR  LINK

With the coffee giant caught in the middle of what he says is an "increasingly uncivil and, in some cases, even threatening" debate, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz has posted a letter to "fellow Americans" asking that they not bring guns into Starbucks' shops.
Schultz writes that:

"Our company's longstanding approach to 'open carry' has been to follow local laws: we permit it in states where allowed and we prohibit it in states where these laws don't exist. We have chosen this approach because we believe our store partners should not be put in the uncomfortable position of requiring customers to disarm or leave our stores. We believe that gun policy should be addressed by government and law enforcement — not by Starbucks and our store partners.

"Recently, however, we've seen the 'open carry' debate become increasingly uncivil and, in some cases, even threatening. Pro-gun activists have used our stores as a political stage for media events misleadingly called 'Starbucks Appreciation Days' that disingenuously portray Starbucks as a champion of 'open carry.' To be clear: we do not want these events in our stores. Some anti-gun activists have also played a role in ratcheting up the rhetoric and friction, including soliciting and confronting our customers and partners.

"For these reasons, today we are respectfully requesting that customers no longer bring firearms into our stores or outdoor seating areas—even in states where 'open carry' is permitted — unless they are authorized law enforcement personnel."

Time writes that "while the company is planning to run ads in major U.S. newspapers on Thursday asking customers to avoid bringing guns into the store, Schultz says no official ban will be instituted."

Baristas apparently won't try to deny service to gun-carrying customers and won't ask them to go elsewhere. The Associated Press says it was "provided a picture of a memo to Starbucks employees on Tuesday. 

Partners are instructed not to confront customers or ask them to leave solely for carrying a weapon."
National Journal wrote back in August about how thousands of customers were planning to bring their guns along for a "Starbucks Appreciation Day." Several posters on the "Starbucks Appreciation Day" Facebook page are upset about the new policy.

The AP notes that "several companies do not allow firearms in their stores ... apparently with little trouble. Representatives for Peet's Coffee & Tea and Whole Foods, for example, said there haven't been any problems with enforcing their gun bans."

Young and Beautiful

This is my new favorite song.  It reminds me of Shamlan:  RIP, baby.  You are always with me. Always young and beautiful.  I miss you.  We met in July.  He died many years later in June.  He's my endless summer.

Me neither.

How all this technology BS ruins everything good and decent

I’ve been cyber-"checking on" a certain individual.  Bygones, but  I suspected there was stuff out there;  I just wanted to see what is on PUBLIC record – for the ENTIRE world to view.

It isn't "stalking" if it is on public domain (just like he can view what I have on the blog now).  I don't comment, follow-up; nothing I do makes any difference one way or another.  What is there is there. Anyone (including me, his mother, his sisters, his brothers....) can see it.

Yes, I have put an end to him in my life;  but I needed verification, validation, closure.  I've had a nagging feeling and I wanted to know for sure.  So, now I know.

If a user name or an account starts or ends with a heart on it.... Houston, we have a problem.  His Twitter, Kik, and Viber accounts all had heart-ons. ('Are you still looking for love while you're with me?  Should I add some heart-on's too?')   I was also concerned with the amount of (seemingly anonymous) females he had added to Facebook, Instagram, and other accounts.  He also frequently changed his photos (yes, many, many photos of him -- you are NOT famous!) on his profiles (even on TrueCaller).   It was a constant cause for never-ending arguments between us.

Him:  "It is just an app. "My phone life is my private life!"  (Yes, secret, bimbo-infested "private life.")
Me:  'Really....  here's my phone (handing it to him).  You can keep it for a few days and check whatever you want to check. Talk to my friends.  Answer.  I have no secrets from someone I'm intimately involved with;  and I don't want to be with anyone who has them.  Not big ones anyways.  I can't say that people aren't "allowed" secrets.  It is just the relationship-altering ones that I'm opposed to. The internet and/or your phone is just another medium for you to meet women, regardless on how you follow-through.  You can't deny that you are meeting them, at least online, because I see you.'

To me, it is just infidelity, regardless.  He usually tried to flip-it, turning me into an overly-jealous, insecure female, adding insult to injury, "You are small minded..." (His actual words were, "You have a little mind." but that's what it translated to.)  Really?  Because I won't let you play?  Awwwwwww, habiiiiibiiiii.....


Should  I choose to be in a relationship, I don’t cheat/cyber cheat/cheat in real life – whatever.   Why waste my time?  If I feel like I need to be with more than that person, then I shouldn’t be in a relationshit, right?

You know, it is just stupid:  Anybody can play the kids game and a whole lot of "men" (and women) are doing it; regardless of their age/education/occupation.  My married friends in Kuwait tell me about it.  My single friends tell me about it.  It's ruining a lot of lives.

Desert Girl "How-To":    CHECK on your Significant Other (SO) on the Internet:     It is easy to do.  You get an e-mail address (even one time), do a Google search, and see where it leads you.  In this case -  to a single user name on a single site. One solitary internet comment using an anonymous username.  From there, Google search by the user name...

.... and where there's smoke, there's fire:  WAABAM!  Tons of information on (this particular individual)!  Dating sites, photos of half-neked women (boobs, butts, and girls of obviously poor upbringing), video clips WITH his voice on voice-over (during a time frame when I was with him), comments on other sites, photos and comments of women who he’s chatted with dating back years.  (And you wanted ME to wear hijab??  Really???  Et furthermore, why is almost every posting you have of a religious nature when your actions speak volumes that you are NOT  a righteous man?)  Bygones.  Verification.  Code Red Alert attained.

Women just want to feel secure with the man they are with.  (Boys don't count.) 

I think with some people, the technology becomes an obsession.  "Hunting" becomes the obsession - the "thrill of the chase."   Or maybe the women become an obsession - I don't know. It's a sickness, regardless.  He's probably into internet porn too.  There's probably more; and if not now, it will escalate to that.  Maybe Twitter, Instagram, Kik, Keek are just "gateway apps."

I have been followed by some of his little internet girls wanting to know more about me. I put an end to that after they left some not-nice comments.  (Tell me again why you wear hijab?  "Virtue"? "Modesty"?)   These games are ridiculous.  Blog haters got nothing on these ho's.  

Sidenote:   I deleted my Tango account.  I was receiving video calls from people in Kuwait in the middle of the night.  They can call you and the camera may be on and you won't even know it.  RRRR!  Privacy!

Look at the divorce stats in Kuwait (again, I'm going to keep bringing this up).  What does it all come down to?  Everybody seems to be on a never-ending chase in this country for the next-best-thing; collecting rocks when they hold diamonds in their hands.  

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:    I'm looking for a caveman who doesn't own (or want to use) a smartphone to chat with bimbos; who is connected with nature and the Earth (maybe a guy who owns a herd of camels?)  Internet pervs need not apply.

Am I bitter?  Nooooo, I'm better. :)  God reveals all in time and you are exactly where you are supposed to be - right now:   Feelin' S E C U R E

More about Abdulfettah Satire Circulation

Al-Ali’s Pictures ‘Posted’ On Social Networking Sites
Arab Times

KUWAIT CITY, June 22: Assistant Undersecretary for Traffic Affairs at the Ministry of Interior Major General Abdul Fattah Al-Ali is being represented in a comical manner on social networking websites, reports Al-Seyassah daily.

One of the users created a picture by placing three photos of Al-Ali with three different facial expressions onto each of the lights of a traffic signal. He/she had placed a picture of Al-Ali grinning on the green light, Al-Ali smiling on the yellow light and a photo of him frowning on the red light.

A user narrated the story of how his sports car was impounded and another user posted a picture he created of President Obama watching Al-Ali on TV and laughing.

A picture of Al-Ali standing along with the actors of ‘Fast and Furious’ was also posted on social networking sites.

First of all:  'Posted on' is an actually term.  No need for the (incorrectly placed) apostrophes (where they should have been incorrectly placed quotation marks - IF the term warranted the use of quotation marks - which it did not).  

This is old news.  Clean said that when he was in Phuket, there were so many Kuwaitis in the bars/nightclubs that they had video clips of Abdulfettah playing on the big-screen TVs.

(The more I think about it, the more I think that Clean met a Kuwaiti girl in Phuket - not a local girl.  That would make sense.  See "Kuwait Divorce Stats" above.  Bless their hearts.  I'm guessing that by November, she'll figure out all about him and I'll be getting a lot of flowery SMSs again.  Just a hypothsis.  I'm onto his BS; read above.)

Kuwait Divorce Stats: 55% couples married in last 4 years seek divorce

Kuwait Times today

KUWAIT: Almost 55 percent of couples filing for divorce in Kuwait have been married for four years only, including 25 percent who are yet to celebrate the first anniversary of their wedding, a local daily reported yesterday quoting official statistics. The statistical report released by the Research and Statistics Department in the Ministry of Justice and obtained by Al- Qabas daily further indicates that out of 5,662 couples who sought marriage counseling, only 20 percent had their issue successfully resolved.

Lack of willingness to coexist was identified as the primary cause for divorce requests, with 32 percent of the requests made by husbands and 23 percent by wives.

The statistics further indicate that 77 percent of couples who attended marriage counseling were Kuwaitis compared to 22 percent non-Kuwaitis.

Meanwhile, 62 percent of those couples do not have children, 34 percent have one to three children, and 2.7 percent have between four and six children.

Regarding age groups, the statistics show that 42 percent of couples seeking marriage counseling are aged between 25 and 34, 22 percent aged between 35 and 44, and 20 percent aged between 15 and 25. And according to the couples’ academic levels, the statistics indicate that 28 percent of husbands have middle school degrees, 22 percent have high school degrees and 21 percent have university degrees, whereas 27 percent of wives have high school degrees, 23 percent have university degree, 22 percent have diploma and 20 percent have middle school degree.


15 years old?  Seriously?  

Wow.  This is a serious problem.  I think people here have outrageous expectations of what married life should be like.  Its a bad cycle.

Arab Times Poll, 19 September

If mommy and daddy are doing it with other people, don't assume that the kids aren't smart enough to recognize it.  Lead by example:  Don't show them that it is acceptable.  It will become a viscious cycle to the next generation.

"My kids don't know..."
"My wife doesn't know...."
Sure they do!  And they're doing to be doing it too.  

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Kuwait Times Story on Shankar - Indian Landmine Victim

A while back, I posted about Shankar who had lost his legs and eyes from a land mine accident here in Kuwait.  The Kuwait Times picked up on the story (Thank you, YouKnowWhoYouAre!) and published it yesterday.

PLEASE donate - even a small amount - if you can.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Dude (The Post About Hatahs and Tomfoolery)

Lovin the hate mail.

Not going to publish it. You're wasting your time.  My blog.  My definition of "hater" or not hater.  The "truth" as you call it may be only your version of reality.  I have my own, thanks.  Call me pathetic and lonely,  but hey- you are the one reading this AND taking the time to comment, so therefore who is pathetic and lonely? ZZZZZZZZ snore.

Unlike some other blogs out there that tolerate tomfoolery, I don't care much about so-called "freedom of speech" here.  Nope.  If I don't like it, I'm going to zap it.  Zap zap.... zap. Buhbyyye.  Every GOOD media outlet in the world has editors.  Not everything makes it onto TV, into a newspaper, onto online stories.  I edit. I don't suffer fools.

Do I seem happier in my posts when I'm receiving male attention?  PHUCK YES.  That's my thing; my shtick; my happy place.  Everybody has their thing. (Some of my friends are into making millions.  I'm happy if a cute guy smiles at me....)   I'm shallow and vapid (you might have to go look up that word, huh?) and not very smart and if something/anything makes me happy, who are you to judge?  I realize that you're probably geniuses and incredibly good looking and have so much going on that you really shouldn't have time (but do) to read blogs like mine that are just so insignificant and small.  Oh yeah - and pathetic.  God bless your hearts.

Whew!  Glad I got that off my vapid-DD-male-attention-craving-chest.... So... onto something completely different....

Boy Updates (go to your Happy Place, Desert Girl....)

The Movie Star called me this weekend:  at 2:15am on Saturday morning.   (I knew he just wasn't into me.)  I sent him a nasty-gram.  "Delete my number.  If you couldn't call me during the past 2 weeks and then you drunk-dial me in the middle of the night, you are just another low-life (expletive).  Go (have intimate relations with) yourself."  Yes, it did feel good.  I think that countering rudeness with vulgarity and obscenities is, in itself by definition,  low-class, but YES felt damn good.  Like Stealth says, "Sometimes guys just don't have anything else going on at the moment, so what might feel like a connection to you is just time-spending to them."  Yup.

What else felt good?  Seeing Desert Guy again - this time as friends-only.  I hadn't seen him since before we closed the camp.  We didn't talk about anything.  Neither of us asked about mutual frienemies. We just enjoyed each other's company and laughed a little.  It was nice.  He looked good.  I have concluded that the guys I'm most likely to form a lasting attraction to are the tall ones with deep voices. He got that.  So does Clean....

Mr. Clean has made up with his family. He just appeared one day; didn't say anything.  Just walked in and said hello.   Dadman didn't want me to know and I think he invited him to lunch (on the day when I usually go for lunch with the family).  (I think he wants us back together.)  Clean didn't show up and I'm glad about that.  I found out during lunch which made me nervous.  I am SO GLAD that his dad is happy again (and glad that the parents are such kind, forgiving people).  Mashallah.  I don't want to be insulting or rude, but I think if Clean walked in, I would walk out.  I've discussed it with them and it is his home - not mine.  I have no right to dictate anything.  I have little right to be there (except that his parents and brothers and sister insist on it every week.)   But I just don't want to be there when he's there.  One of his brothers isn't as forgiving as the parents.  He's more along the lines of me - still feeling hurt and betrayed.  I can't imagine how his brother feels.  He's his brother AND best friend and Clean just dumped him.

Butterfly read my tarot cards back in the days when I first met Clean and it made ZERO sense to me then.  I probably didn't know him well enough.  I just came across my notes from the reading (while I was in a meeting) and it was a revelation.  It was completely accurate.  "Gross immaturity when confronted.  Tricked by fools gold...Infidelity"  Fassscinating.  (I have done several tarot readings since and I'm getting the SAME cards.  Butterfly says that I will keep getting them until I listen.) I think of tarot cards like reading a map:  you just read what you see, as they fall.  Sometimes they are accurate; sometimes they are not; sometimes you don't understand until later.

I haven't been to the desert in 10 days now and I'm not liking it.  I need to go feel some sand.  Connect with the Earth.  One of my friends owns a herd of camels.  I hope we can get there to see them soon. I love camels.  (Can you tell?)  I haven't even been to The Secret Hide Out for the past 10 days.  I've been too busy doing frivolous stuff - like winning contracts, writing new contracts.  (You know, the stuff that I don't write about.)

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Oh the Horror! Say it's not true! There's a crisis in Kuwait: Due to the expat crackdown there is now a shortage of maids and drivers

You have GOT to read this on Expat and the City's Blog.  FRICKIN HILARIOUS!!!

Oh the Horror! Say it's not true! There's acrisis in Kuwait: Due to the expat crackdown there is now a shortage of maids and drivers

I particularly enjoy this part:  

"You'll cherish his sudden interest in the children and staying home instead of every late night at the diwaniya with (Filipino, Egyptian, Lebanese and Moroccan 'entertainers')."

Which leads me to a quote a Kuwaiti friend stated to me once-upon-a-time, "If sex wasn't enjoyable/work, we'd have an Indian guy do it."

Great idea, girl!  This goes right along with my business idea of  "Blondes in Bikinis Car Wash."  One price for the car; another price for the show.

Stella predicts that the sale of plastic furniture will rise in the Country due to the shortage of maids.  Why?  because all you have to do to clean it is to hose it down.

Kuwait: Where to go to get your bush removed

Kuwait's bushes have been pruned.
Kuwait has gone bushless.
Kuwait:  No bush.
Trim your bush in Kuwait.
Whack that bush in Kuwait!

Ok... I'm on a roll, baby.  They're uprooting all the bush in Kuwait.  This sucks.


(I have yet to post a picture post-bush, post-plastic grass implementation.  Will do that later. This photo was taken the same day - driving along different parts of the Gulf Road.  The bushes on the left have already been removed.)


How many cars wreck on the Gulf Road and hit the median at high speeds?
How many bushes does it take to slow a speeding car before the wreck?
How many cars are going to wreck onto the new rocks?
How many rocks will be churned up by speeding cars before the wreck?
How many people will be injured by high-speed rocks?

I HATE the corruption in Kuwait!  Several years ago, someone decided it would be a faaaabulous idea to plant fake, illuminated/multi-colored palm trees around Kuwait.  Where are they now?

Desert Girl Prediction:
Let me just take a leap and say that in 3 years, someone is going to be planting real grass and bushes again.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Trying to make the Gulf Road prettier?


I don't know if you've noticed the mess lately on the median strips on the Gulf Road and Blajat Street.  They are tearing up all the grass, irrigation hoses, and even healthy palm trees.  Why?  Because someone won a contract to put in fake grass, plants that will die almost within installation time, and... get this.. ROCKS.

Yeah, that's just what we need in the streets - ROCKS.  Loose rocks that no one will maintain, which people can easily throw, and that will get onto the street, damaging cars.

Dumb and dumber rears his ugly head, once again, in Kuwait.

I can see it now during National Day and Liberation Days:  Instead of using a water gun/squirt gun, you can just pick up a rock, throw it at a car, and say, "Hey, neighbor! Happy holiday!"   Good times.


If you want traffic to slow down, you don't need to throw rocks - just install speed bumps like Dubai.

Here is the photo of after-installation.

The plants are already starting to die.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Outa sorts today

WARNING:  This is gonna be a rambler.  I'm in a mood today.

So today I'm feeling rather melancholy for a few reasons. 

First, it is September 11th and I always stop to reflect on that day in 2001 when I thought my mother was on the 2nd plane to hit the World Trade Center.  She was leaving to go somewhere (forget where) and flying from Boston to New York.  Thank God, she was not on the flight, but it gave me a glimpse into the lives of some of the people who lost their loved ones that day.  I will never forget it; I doubt most Americans ever will (and especially those who either lost people or are from the areas that were directly affected).

Second reason (and this is very small compared to that, but it is a reason nonetheless) is because today marks 1 month since I've seen Mr. Clean.  It has been the same amount of time for his family.   It isn't like I'm not living my life - I am; And I have created some very happy memories this past month.   But still, I think of him and the whole situation and wonder.

So, let's talk now about something completely different.... Light, fluffy, and superficial...

For years, my family has told me what great hair and skin I have (Mashallah).  I've been secretly waiting for both to fail me and this past year, it has started.  Blame hair loss on the water in Kuwait (everybody does and almost everyone I've ever spoken to has had problems with hair loss).  I've been using all kinds of products since I noticed it thinning almost a year ago.  Maybe it is just time; maybe it is to be expected.  I don't like it and I'm fighting back.  I'm so full of hair/nail vitamins that I am probably growing a fur ball the size of Florida - internally.  It does seem to help, though.  And, last winter in the desert, I started to develop some kind of skin allergy on my face.  It's right at my hair line.  It itches like the dickens.  I've been to a few dermatologists here in Kuwait and they are all in love with Futicort ointment and Telfast (antihystamine).  Great.  Fine.  Whatever.  If it has been going on for 8 months, shouldn't it stop?  The rest of my skin is so dry these days that I can't keep enough stuff on it.  People are telling me to try putting yogurt on it.  Hmmm.

Look, I do not want to hear, "Maybe it is time to move out of Kuwait, Desert Girl."  Puhleeze!  I'm sure people in other parts have problems too.  Like flesh eating bacteria or parasites. 

Tony & Guy (pronounced "gee") has a 25KD hair rescue conditioning treatment.  It worked for a few weeks.  I might go back there.  My hair has been like a fricken salad lately; every conceivable type of oil has been on it.

So anyhooo, I have to get working on yet another USG proposal now. Sigh.   Yeah, yeah, Stella, I know.  But it isn't like you're not eating a mango, skinned by some office worker....  giggles.  I'm on it.

Dar al-Athar al-Islamiyyah (DAI)

DAI hosts a lot of very intresting cultural events.  My friend, Sue (who I haven't heard from in years and I had no idea was even stooping to such intellectual lows as to read the crap I post on the blog -  ha ha) , asked me to post the below as they are in search of volunteers to help at the Amricani Cultural Center.  In a never-ending quest to make up for all the evil doings during my formative years (and how horrible I was to my mom - love you, ma), I try to help people whenever I'm asked.  (No, I can't lend anyone money. - within reason, people.)  ... especially if it is for a good cause.

Sue say:

As an expat myself, I know a lot of people are looking for unique experiences here in Kuwait.  The Dar al-Athar al-Islamiyyah (DAI), Kuwait’s leading cultural organization, is pleased to announce that training for new docent’s will begin in mid-September.  DAI docents are specially trained volunteers that play an important role in the operation of the Amricani Cultural Centre.  The docents host guests to the museum, from classroom visits to VIPS, participate in the implementation of special events, conferences, and exhibition opening, and support the organization in a myriad of other ways.

The DAI docent programme, which is three years old, is open to anyone willing to learn about the DAI, the Amricani Cultural Centre and the exhibitions and share that information with visitors from around the world.  The training takes approximately 15 hours and all docents are asked to volunteer a minimum of 3 hours per month.
There will be an information meeting on Monday, 16 September at 7 PM at the Amricani Cultural Centre for those interested in learning more about the DAI Docent programme.

For more information about the DAI Docent programme, please email  

Git yer culture on!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Horoscopes in Kuwait SUCK


Most of the time, I only look at newspapers to check out my horoscope. That is superficial, vapid, and shallow - I know - but that's about as much time as I have at Caribou between the time I walk from my car and the time my coffee is ready and I have to get upstairs to work.

The other day, the Arab Times horoscope told me to go watch a baseball game. C'mon y'alls!  Baseball???  Go see a BASEBALL game?  Cut/paste is like soooooo 5 centuries ago.

So, I'm thinking of creating my own regionally-customized horoscopes and posting them here.  Pour example, today:

ARIES:  If you think you are going to start your day with a smooth chai 7alib and chapathi (DG:  Which is what I really wanted), you are sadly mistaken. Numerous speedbumps to your day await (DG:  I ran one over going top speed this morning like a bad-outa-Hell-idiot!)  But don't despair!  The sun is out -- and like a penned ram in Kabd, you find happiness in its swarm glow. Greet the world with a smile.

... ok some bullshit like that.

Oh - which brings me to another point:  I'm retarded.  (Yes, I know that is an politically-incorrect term, but by any definition, it refers to ME:   Impeded.  Slowed.  Develpmentally hindered. Back to my point...)  I keep bumping into things with my car.  Now,  I know that is a very blonde thing to say, but I do.  I bump into objects (usually curbs) with my right rear tire.  Yesterday, in Souq Al Maseel (one of the dumbest parking garages - EVAH), I bumped into some kind of metal retaining thingy (I think it was put there to actually protect the stupid CURB) and it turned my entire tire yellow.  Well, ok, let's speak in reality:  I turned my entire tire yellow.  Howmasupposed to get that off?  Most of the time, I bump into one particular curb in our parking garage at work.  It is there - just lurking - waiting for me to whip around the corner at top speed (because I'm always late).  It's not my fault.  My car is the freakin Batmobile and I can't see over the sides at any angle.  It has HUGE blind spots.  I need to get some of dem 18-wheeler mirrors that stick out like 2 feet on either side.  NOT my fault.

I was late today, but I didn't hit the garage curb, luckily.  I just ran over a gynormous speed bump (no - NOT "hump" - it's "bump") in Salmiya.  I knew it was there; I just wasn't thinking.  BAM.  Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...  Oh --  And why was I in Salmiya?  Em, because I had to go to FOUR ATMs before my card would work.  (Don't ask me why - I'm retarded.)  My horoscope didn't say ANYTHING about that shit.  No, it didn't.  Baseball!  RRRR.  Balls.

Hey, let's talk about men! 

So a few of my friends at The Secret Hide Out have been fighting for the past few weeks.  Testy, testy.   I have other friends who have had petty arguments.  I've seen little arguments here and there.  Mr. Clean is just not himself (he's got magic on him) and fighting with everybody.  So I ask Hmood why this is.  He flatly replied, "This is the time of the year when all the men are horny."  Whaaaaaaaaat?  Apparently, they're supposed to be hormonal.  Fassssssscinating.

Come to think of it, every B-C-D and even E -lister has been calling me lately. THREE of them asked me to marry them (uh, taken with a carton of Morton's, not just a "grain of salt").  "I love you baby."  "I love you baby."  "I love you."    Whats up with that?  (Sigh.  If only Movie Star were hormonal.... or maybe he is - just with a guy?  Bygones.)

My neighbor bought a ram one time.  It was out there doin it's business, workin the ladies.  Everybody was expecting lots and lots of lambs that Spring.  But then.... nothing.  My neighbor took the ram to the vet.  Turns out he was sterile.  (Sorry, I don't know what brought that ditty to mind - other than the Aries thing and the hormonal men and being totally unproductive.) 

Kuwait:  Where the men are men and the sheep are scared.  (I'm going to stop now, really....)

Anyhoooo....  Howz your day?

Sunday, September 08, 2013

Help Shankar - Landmine Injury Victim in Kuwait

A reader asked me to publish this.  It is ironic, as only last night, Mr. Riyadh and I were discussing the possibility of there still being landmines in Kuwait.  I think it was a message from God that I should publish this.  If  you can help, please consider it.

Shankar is the sole provider to his family.

Bloggers, please feel free to re-post.

Another weekend as a single girl

.... and they are doing a whole lot better than when I was WITH someone.  Dayum.

Mr. Clean lives 5 minutes from my house.  He had a very hard time taking me to do things.  It was a major effort.  He's so busy, got such a busy lifestyle.  Busy busy busy.  Do I have to beg to go stroll around Mubarakia or the Avenues?  Hey, let's go out for dinner... ice cream.... shawarma....  RRRRR. 

It is unfortunate that I own The World's Most Comfortable Sofa.  It has been verified.  Relationshit dudes sit on it, checking their mobile phones constantly for "oh so important" chat messages (most often/likely from BIMBOS) INSTEAD OF TAKING ME OUT.  I think I'm going to invest in a cell phone jammer.... (I love my sofa too much to get rid of.  Not gonna happen.)

... and  PHUCK cell phones!  Do you know that some families here are placing baskets in the room so that when people (relatives) walk in, they have to put their phones in and spend QUALITY time with the family?  It has come to that.  Clean's father takes all the cell phones away.  So far, I've been immune, but I can see his looks, so I don't play with my phone at all.

Ok.... but on the flip side... technology....  And getting back to my 2nd paragraph above....

I met someone online a while ago (after the Clean break up). (Did you know that almost 50% of relationships in the US start online?)   Nice guy.  Geographically undesirable (in Riyadh), but nice to talk to. Yesterday, he drove 7 hours through a sandstorm to TAKE ME TO DINNER.  Oh.My.God.  It's not like he's not busy (he works on architectural projects for the Saudi Government).  It's not like he can just pick up and go. He put some planning and thought into it.  And for what?  Dinner.  That's it.  What a nice thing to do.  God sends you angels when you least expect it.  (And speaking of expectations, I have none, but it was such an incredibly nice gesture that he gets major brownie points!!!)  ...He also didn't check his cell phone the entire time we were at dinner.  THANK YOU.

And speaking of bygone expectations:  Movie Star never called back after the day on the water.  I'm sorry, but when a girl is all wet .... in a bathing suit....   pressed up against you for (how many) hours, you would think that there would be a little follow-UP (get it?).  But hey... whatever.  I sent a few messages and called and that's all I'm doing.  Maybe he's gay.  That's fine.  I don't judge.  It was a faaaaaaaaaaabulous day and I will remember it.  It was a gift.

This past week, I got a message (through Facebook) from a man who had gone above-and-beyond in helping me lease an Envoy.  This happened about 5 years ago.  He ran around with me, helped me with paperwork, and was even there when they delivered the car to me.  Super, super nice.  I couldn't believe that he was doing all that for me.  I never asked his last name.  I thought he might be bidoon and might need some financial help from it and I was planning to help him out.  I just didn't know.  Then,  I changed cell phones (PHUCK cell phones!) right after and lost his number. He changed jobs and wasn't at the place he had been.  We lost touch.    So, after all this time, he saw my name on Facebook and re-connected.  It turns out that he's from a wealthy family from one of the wealthiest areas in Kuwait.  Not that it matters (and I probably shouldn't even be posting about it since it's like that), but he was just doing it out of the kindness of his heart:  He saw that I needed help as a foreigner and he just did everything and everything he could to help me.  People like that exist.  And.... he asked me to dinner (I have GOT to stop eating so much.  Salads, Desert Girl, salads!  For the Love of God - salads!)

You know - I'm really really blessed, Mashallah.  Sometimes I get depressed about stupid stuff and I forget for a while.  But God loves me.  When bad things happen, it is because God loves you.  It is happening for a reason.

I am still grieving over Clean.  I have to be honest.  It isn't like we broke up:  I feel, at a very base level,  that he is dead.  The person that I knew died.  He's not there anymore.  I grieve for that person.  Like a widow, it is going to take me some time to fully recover.  I'm keeping busy.  (Sadly, as I am a recent widow, no one has sent over casseroles or flowers.... just sayin'.  Your friends should be there in your hour of need, right?  Where the HELL are you people with the casseroles and flowers???)

Thursday, September 05, 2013

End Visa Applicants Woes At Embassies

‘End Visa Applicants Woes At Embassies’
‘Citizens Embarrassed’

Arab Times:  KUWAIT CITY, Sept 4

MP Mohammad Tana Al-Enezi urged the Interior Minister and his Foreign Affairs counterpart to end the embarrassing treatment against Kuwaiti visa applicants at the embassies of European countries and the US.

MP Al-Enezi accused the embassies of fixing long-term appointments for Kuwaitis without considering their conditions and noted some of the applicants are seriously ill or under intense pressure to meet up with academic studies, so they do not have time for such delays. He argued that Kuwait accords the citizens of these countries respect to obtain visa at the point of entry without effort, but there is no reciprocity in that regard.

He is of the view that the countries in question should not be acting in that manner knowing that Kuwaitis travel there for tourism, medical treatment or studies and not as refugees or beggars. 

- end - 

I completely and emphatically agree. 

I have helped several people fill out the tourist visa application to the US.  The process takes approximately 90 minutes online (for a native English speaker) and some of the questions are bordering on harassment:  "Do you intend to visit the United States to engage in prostitution?" for example.  Or, "Are you a terrorist?"  I found the questions degrading (I should post them....)    I don't BLAME MP Al-Enezi for the term "embarrassing."  These questions ARE embarrassing.  Have some cultural sensitivity!

Kuwait has never asked a US citizen for their bank statements to be able to enter Kuwait (as the US does). IF they did, a whole lot of contractors wouldn't make it here - I can guarantee you that.

The United States enjoys a very good relationship with Kuwait where Americans can get their visas at the airport.  The US does not reciprocate in this relationship.  

Instead, it asks that you schedule an appointment online (sometimes months in advance if it is peak travel season), pay a 40 KD fee (at Burgan Bank and no other venue), fill out pages and pages of demeaning and demanding online questions.  And then wait to hear if you might be granted a visa.  

In many cases, people's names are similar to those on watch lists so they must wait longer to be cleared by a security agency back in the States. Sometimes it takes months.  I've  spoken to US embassy personnel in regards to this and they say, "Oh, but you can easily find out about the visa status online."  Sure - IF you want to read the standard response of,  "in process."  You can never speak to a human about it.  I can't tell you how many Kuwaiti friends (some from VERY high ranks) who have called me to say, "Do you know anyone you can call at the US embassy to find out about 'Flan's' visa status?"  It's sad.

Imagine if an American went to the Embassy of Kuwait and they were asked to fill out a form asking, "Are you going to Kuwait to engage in prostitution?"  That's just crass.

"Do unto others as you would have them do to you."  Golden rule, dudes.  Seriously.

Monday, September 02, 2013

Cars Driven On Emergency Lane Will Be Seized: Al-Ali

Arab Times, KUWAIT CITY, Aug 29: The Assistant Undersecretary for Traffic Affairs at Ministry of Interior Major General Abdul Fattah Al-Ali said ...

He stressed that any vehicle that is driven on the emergency lane, which is specifically meant for fire vehicles, ambulances and other emergencies, will be seized from Sunday as well as the vehicles parked in the parking spots allotted for the disabled. He indicated that cameras have been installed to observe such violations, explaining that the owners of the vehicles will be summoned and the vehicles will be seized in front of them.


Where do I send my photos of offenders?  Seriously.

Do a Google search for "Driving on emergency lane in Kuwait".  

Thank you MP Talal Al-Jalal

Call To Naturalize Deserving Bedoun
‘End Long-Term Suffering’

Arab Times, 2 September 2013:  KUWAIT CITY, Sept 1: MP Talal Al-Jalal is calling for government to expedite procedures to resolve the Bedoun issue, in order to end their suffering. He said the category has been neglected for a long period, even though government admits that 34,000 of them deserve naturalization. In a press statement, Al- Jalal implored government to approve the naturalization files of Bedoun military personnel and the sons of martyrs, employees in oil sector who fulfill all necessary conditions and those included in the census of 1965. “My colleagues and I during the next parliamentary session will endeavor to vote for activation of law to grant some 4,000 Bedouns the citizenship.

He added the category is also part of Kuwaiti society who made great sacrifice for the country. He is surprised that government keeps neglecting and suspending their issue. (DG:  So are the rest of us!!!)  He called for those who don’t deserve the citizenship to be given all necessary social services, so as to live like humans-as stated in the Constitution.

The lawmaker blames government for neglecting the Bedoun issue, stressing the situation went out of hand and became difficult to solve. He pointed to the process of recruiting Bedoun in governmental agencies and said they are prevented from taking jobs to obtain their full rights, adding that recent rumors saying Bedouns have all necessary facilities are false. Al-Jalal stressed the solution to Bedoun issue depends on application of law and not their eligibility for naturalization, adding the law guarantees their right for citizenship so government only needs to apply law “as we can not accept their current situation”.

Sunset from the Water

I had the best first date EVER.

I met him when I was at my worst.  Mr. Clean and I had just had a heart-wrenching phone call that left me in the fetal position on my bed for several hours, staring into the wall and wondering how I had ALLOWED myself to get to that point.  I decided I needed to get up and do something/anything to get me out of the coma I was settling into, so went for a drive.  My eyes were puffy and red from crying. My face wasn't much better and my hair was in pretty bad shape.

I drove for about an hour and was headed home.  He ("Movie Star")  was next to me in his car, smiling and waving me over.  He had such a sweet look on his face and after a mile or so of letting him follow me, I decided to pull into a parking lot. I was really not expecting much to come of it.  I thought he was too young (I was wrong); too movie-star-handsome; too something for me.

We ended up talking in our cars from the windows for a little over an hour.  About everything.  It was so refreshing.  I looked like crap and here this beautiful man was giving me compliments like I had just walked down the red carpet.  (Ok well, taken with a grain of salt as you have to be weary of free compliments when someone is trying to know you.)  Regardless, A few kind words that night, however, went a long way.

We talked later on the phone, but we didn't make any plans.  (Let it happen.)

A few days later, my Saturday plans fell through with my friends.  He called and told me that his jet ski was still loaded on the trailer on his car and would I like to go out.  I drove down to Khiran and met him.

It is one thing to talk to a gorgeous man that you just met;  It is quite another to be completely wet and wrapped around him in a bathing suit on a jet ski.  He took me out to a little sand bar and we spent the day in the water talking.  It was a perfect day. Not too hot, not too humid.  The sky and the water was clear.  There were a lot of other small boats and jet skis there, but we were alone in our little world.

When the sun got low in the sky, we took a tour along the coast, admiring the architecture (and not admiring others); and going in and out of the waterways in Khiran (which is actually against the law).  The sun was setting and we stayed on another little beach until we finally (get this cliche....) rode off into the sunset.

It was - by far - the most romantic first date I've ever had.  I wish I had had a camera.  It was all so amazingly, breathtakingly beautiful.

No expectations.  (I haven't received those, "Omahgawd he is sooooo into you" vibes, unfortunately.  Let it happen?)   Just an amazing day that I'll never forget.

Sunday, September 01, 2013

I get by with a little help from my friends

So, after pondering the question of to post or not to post; and after many kind words from people writing in to say, "go for it" and "keep it real" (THANK YOU!)  I have decided....  what the hey - I am who I is and I am just going to tell it like it is.  Lay it on the line.  Dish.  Comment on La Vida Loca in Kuwait.

(No, not my underwear size, but commenting on relationshits.  Yes, yes, I know - inquiring minds want to know and all that.  Mais, pervs, I'm not dishing ALL.)

I know what some of the hatahs are going to say, "Oh my God, girl, you are SUCH a loser!"  To wit I say, 'Go have intimate relations with yourself.  Dooooo it.'  You don't have to read.  You don't have to judge.  No one is holding a gun to your head.  I'm not asking for your approval.  This doesn't cost me anything and it is free therapy; regardless of the feedback I receive.

So here's the thing.  I gave Mr. Clean too many chances (similar to The Man, but in a shorter period of time, BUT with the same amount of feelings attached).  I finally decided to take back control and just purge: Deleted him from all my accounts, deleted his number, deleted his photos (well, put them into cold storage), boxed up all the little things I had from him (which were very few actually).  I just couldn't put myself through it anymore. Everything hurt.  My whole body.  My soul.   He has been so unhealthy and the last insult was the worst.  I didn't deserve it and it was clearly intended to injure.  I heard it in his voice:  He knew that he was doing wrong.  ("Do no harm."  It will be returned to you.)

When I met him, we had differences:  There was an age difference for one thing (which he said didn't make an iota of difference to him when we met - so he said and so he showed me); for another, he had a "secret" which I didn't (and have never cared about) - he's stateless ("non-Kuwaiti").  I thought he accepted me for me and I accepted him for him.  Telling me that you're non-Kuwaiti/bidoon/stateless makes about as much difference to me as saying, "my teeth are crooked" or "I'm black/green/white/this-that-or-the-other" or "I'm poor."   I love people for their soul.  Look in my eyes and let me see who you are.  That's IT.

I'm me.  Apparently, either he is making an excuse or he does not accept me for me and was quite insulting about it.  I refuse to lower myself to insults.  If it is an excuse (which his family and mine believe to be true), he should be humane enough to say, "This just isn't working out...." and discuss it.  Unfortunately, what I have found with men in these parts is that although they are very good at poetry and weaving beautiful words in many ways; direct communication is not something that is culturally the norm.  When they could speak frankly, they would rather either ignore or push you away with something far from the truth.  It is easier to not to face their own pain (feelings of failure, perhaps?) and ignore than be honest and forthright.

SIDEBAR:  (And something else....)  In the  future:  I've decided that I don't want to connect with a man through a smart phone.  I am actually considering using a second phone - a 16KD Nokia I have in my drawer - without even Bluetooth or a camera - and give that number to any man I might meet. Phuck technology and smart phones!   I don't want to see what girls he's adding on stupid teen-aged applications.  I don't want to know that he was last online at 3:00 am (and not with me).  I don't want to see his photos and messages on Instagram.  I don't want to see the friends list of Shoo-shoos, Mimi's, Saroonas, Sweet (this, that, and the other) on Facebook.   I don't want to believe he is King of the Chatworld with God-knows-who.  All this technology shit is really really awful for relationships. I just don't want to know.  I feel like I've got to become the Cyber Police just to find out what's next in MY relationship with him.  WHY?

I am breaking up with Mr. Clean, but I refuse to break up with his family. Friday lunches with his step-mom, dad, and 6 siblings have become my routine.   Perhapsee that is not a good thing, as it brings up memories (so says my mom and close friends).  At the same time, I'm not willing to let them go yet.  I believe I have been doing a good job of separating him from his family in my mind.  And if I believed that they didn't love me for me, I wouldn't be around them.  His family wishes we could work things out, but it has just gone too far. I feel very close to his dad.  Maybe because I lost mine.  His dad is a lot like mine was:  He is quiet and comforting and will provide pieces of advice that make you think things through without being in-your-face about it. I have told him about everything and he has been very comforting.  Clean's family are very dear to me.

Mr. Clean hasn't spoken to his family since he and I broke up.  He hasn't visited them.  He had a minor argument (so everybody says - and completely un-related to me) and has been so bull-headed stubborn that he won't just go and make it better; very similar to what he has done with me.  I feel so sorry for his father because they had been so close and I can see how badly his father is hurting.  Who DOES that to a parent? In my many years around Arab people, I find this to be an extremely rare situation. In most religions and cultures, dishonoring a parent is wrong; but especially so within Moslem families (I believe).  I don't know how things have gotten so ugly.  So, Mr. Clean hasn't been at any of the Friday afternoon family lunches. Once he returns (I hope soon for the sake of the parents), I will probably ask to see the family when he's not around.  As his dad says, "... you still have your brothers and sister here."

His brother (and best friend) empathizes with me.  They haven't talked for several weeks either.  He's grieving.  "We both went to Thailand together. I came back the same. He didn't..."  I don't know what happened there. I don't know that I want to.  But something happened to Clean there that was, quite obviously, life-altering.  (Sorcery?)

I can see Clean a few years from now, married to a pregnant, mousy, subservient 17 or 18 year old.  He'll be miserable.  She'll be miserable.  But, he will have a big rice belly from all the great food she's been in there cooking all day.  Then, he'll go to the diwaniya every night. They will rarely speak.  She'll watch TV in a moo-moo (duraa) and take care of babies (until later when they get divorced and she realizes how unhappy she's been all those years and how much she's grown as a person).   I'll be long gone and I won't remember his name.

Clean came around at a time when I needed him there.  I was just coming out of the desert.  I had lost my desert family and he (and his family) became my new ("deera") family.  Things happen for a reason.  Maybe it was meant to be for a period of time - not forever.

I have met new people and this was one of the best weekends I can remember - ever.  I will write about what happened yesterday in more detail when I'm more comfortable discussing it online.  It was just so..... sigh.....amazing.  (Sunset from the water....)

I'm just living my life.   I continue to learn something new every day.  That's it.