Sunday, April 13, 2014

Saltdaddy

Definition via Urban Dictionary (which I frickin LOVE!)  Saltdaddy:  The complete opposite of a sugardaddy, one who tries, but is broke and fronting. Example:   Man, I said I wanted a new comforter set from Macy's not the goodwill....he is such a saltdaddy!

I had lunch at my Kuwaiti family’s this weekend (as is my Friday routine).  Clean knew my birthday is coming up and gave me a watermelon (actually, he gave it to his family, but then he took it back and gave it to me).  Big spender.  Yup.   Better not to give me anything.  I just pretend that he doesn’t exist.  No eye contact.  If he speaks to me, I look at the TV or pretend to be napping. Yawn.  He’s been flirting with me for weeks and I can’t figure out why.  Yeh.  (I would like that apology that  you owe me for my birthday please.  It's free.  Sigh - I'm never going to get it and I know it.)

I also went to see my friends in Messila.  Now that camping season is over (and he has no place left to go)  Desert Guy  (the MacSaltdaddy) has made his new party headquarters at his cousin’s place there -  where I always hang out.  There goes the neighborhood.   I love the Messila villa.  It has a lovely little garden, is quiet, and is like a group hang-out; the door is always open.  Unfortunately, it has now been downgraded as DGuy and his friends have weekend, “Parade of Sluts”  (with Halima Bouland-style voices) and turn the music up so loud that no one can hear themselves think.  I am secretly praying that the neighbours will complain so that they’ll be forced to turn it down.  Unfortunately, most of the neighbors are relatives or party people also, so they don’t care.  Snap.

DGuy bought a caravan (camper trailer).  Since he is piss-poor (but lies constantly and uses his family name to pick up chicks) I hypothesize that this camper has been purchased via someone else’s credit/loan and it is probably some poor, unsuspecting woman.  Hey – that’s how he got his last THREE cars (all crashed or parked redneck-style in someone’s front yard).  He’s got so many cases against him that he can’t have any property in his name.   I suspect he’s driving on a fake license also so he doesn’t get picked up by the police.  (It is frickin AMAZING what people will tell you .... )  Anyhoo, he’s parked the Homeless Shelter (which is what I have branded it) parked across the street from his cousin’s (with good credit) villa and is running an electric cord from their house.  I guess he is telling his bimbos that he owns the place (but then, why would he be living in a homeless shelter across the street?)  Bimbos don’t care.  They’re just there for the “refreshments” he serves; which they actually believe are “original” and not the ethanol he’s purchased from Mubarakia, put into original bottles. Then they pass out in a Homeless Shelter and in the morning wonder why he's not there and why it is so cold  and why he has no sheets or blankets....

(My friend and I have a plot to decorate the outside of the Homeless Shelter one night with bra and panty sets.... I will let you know how that goes.)

Let me just state that I actually like this guy now that I’ve figured him out completely.  He’s an ashhole for sure; no questions, but I see something in him (and so do his cousins) that give him a pass; some redeeming quality. He’s got a good heart and if I ever need him for anything, he’s always been there.  It’s just sad that not all the cylinders are firing.  He's like a V12 running on 2; and the remaining 2 are misfiring. And the car is up on cement blocks.... just sayin....

Now that we’re not dating and I’ve been filled in on all the details, I see him here and there socially with his parade of ho’s; including some (formerly?) very good/decent ladies from good/well-known Kuwaiti families (who stay with him all of 2 weeks).   His most recent girlfriend is a very pretty friend of his wife/x-wife/wife (no one – including members of his own family – can tell if he is still married or not).  One of our mutual friends has been dating DGuy’s wife/x-wife/wife in the past.  All of this is so..... sorted.  Ick.  Glad I’m looking at it from the other side of the fence.  

These girls can't figure me out; I hang with him, he tells me that he loves me (in front of them), he hugs me and kisses me when he sees me.  The girls don't talk to me and I'm very reluctant to form bonds with any of them because I know that he's either going to dump them or break their hearts (and when I'm asked direct questions, I answer directly so I'm afraid I'll get in trouble).  So we just stare at each other and occasionally (if not rarely) smile at each other.  Whatever.  Bring some food you cooked for us all and then we'll talk, okay?

Sidenote:  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned....  Some girl burned down his tent several years ago; all very hush-hush.   I hope that the Homeless Shelter will fare better and when it does explode, that it won't hurt my friends in the villa....  Just sayin.


Have you noted how I am talking about X’s and not currents?  Tee hee.  Yeah.  That’s right.  I am.


6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am afraid you might catch some trouble if you stay with this guy longer.

Desert Girl said...

Anonymous 12:29 - I'm not "with" him. I go to visit friends/his cousins.

Hebah Dwidari said...

well that's something. he obviously thinks that by you keeping in touch with people he knows, that you may give him another chance. Just my opinion.

Desert Girl said...

Hebah thanks, but no - he's too much of an ashhole to give me that much thought. He doesn't want another chance - we're just buddies now and that's it. No chances involved. :)

Anonymous said...

we have trailor parks in kuwait? yeeeeha bring on the moonshine

Desert Girl said...

Anonymous 2:29 - I have wanted to write a post about "Caravans" so I'm at it now. Wait for it.

As far as moonshine, that doesn't really go with trailer parks. Moonshine is more often associated with hillbillies with shacks in the country, where you can have a still to make it. It would be too dangerous (and smelly) to make moonshine in a caravan.

Further, unfortunately, the process of making moonshine takes far too much work for most around these parts.