Sunday, April 06, 2014

Bad Maid: Who Let the Dog Out?

This is a Khaleeji Woe (love their tweets!)...

My maid.

So I had to let her go.  She swore up and down that she didn't let my big dog out (which later led to him chomping on my little dog like the snack food she is...).  It coulda happened.  He's a smart guy and might have let himself out of his room somehow....   However (and I can.not.f-ing.believe this part), when I finally cooled down enough to talk to her about it, she wouldn't let me get a word in while she told me that she left window open ("because no one told me not to") and Mikey (big dog) jumped out the window (I live in a basement apartment with big walls and gates) and was missing for 3 hours.  OH MY GOD!!!!  She said that "somebody" left the 2 gates open (do you not CHECK?) and it was a nice day and she opened the window.....  (this is possible because I've seen him do it.  It is only about a 12" from the floor to the door opening and he's athletic and big.  But it should have been obvious to even a semi-cognizant person that he might do it.)   She talked about HER peril in finding him (which she eventually did, "next to the road") and how she "almost had a heart attack."   Really?  Seriously?  You?  (Poor thing, would you like to lie down?  Can I get you some water?  WTF!)

Ok ok ok... deep breaths... go to your happy place... calm.... ooooh saaaaaah.....  (thou shalt not kill because thou shall go to jail, not because you don't want to.... Visualizing a wood chipper.....)

So, my big dog was running around my conservative religious dog-fearing neighborhood next to a major road for 3 hours.  And during that time....  she couldn't call me?  

She came by this morning (F-ing up my day), crying and holding her cross pendant (whipping out the religion card does NOT work with me).  She said she wanted to explain in more detail.  Shiiiiit - do I need to know???  Whyyyyyy???  Just give me my key (changing the locks anyways) and get the F out.  (I'm actually quite proud of myself for holding it together as well as I did.)

I already have a replacement maid-lady that Butterfly recommended before she left.  She also works for Spanx, so I have 2 good recommendations.  She stopped by this weekend and was kinda shocked by what she saw in my closets.  Folding was not BadMaid's forte.  

I know that some of you you are reading this and saying, "Waaaaa poor you..." and thinking that we're so spoiled having maids over here, but guess what? There are maids in the US and other countries too.  My maid doesn't live with me - she's part time.  Although I don't pay as much as I would for a maid in the States*, I still pay a good salary and I have treated her very well (even to the point of overlooking transgressions like my fake Jimmy Choo bag gone missing).  If you lived in any country and someone working in your home let your dog out - wouldn't you have a fit?  

*  Sidenote:  We don't pay as much in Kuwait (and other countries with similar economies) because although there is a minimum wage, it is very small compared to the US/Europe.  We also don't pay social security or income tax for employees (or ourselves, under a certain threshold).  Most expats I know living in Kuwait retain part-time maids and pay them over the minimum wage.  I pay my maid around $6 per hour and if she asked for more, I would probably negotiate on that.  I also agree to pay her overtime for anything over the agreed-upon hours per day (so far, in my almost 18 years here, not one helper has asked me for OT).

I, like growing numbers of people around the world, do not have children.  My pets are my children.  I value them and take care of them.  The last thing I want to hear is that they've been out playing in traffic while I was at work.

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