Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Dating for Sport (again.... )

The Man and I called it quits (for the God-only-knows how manyth time)  in February.  Seems the jet-setter is just too busy for the likes of me.  Que cera.

So, I am back to Dating for Sport and it has not only been fun, but fascinating.  I have met some really really nice guys lately.

I have also met some creatures;  Some have made “the devil I know” look like the Archangel, Michael (patron saint of chivalry among other things).  “The devil you know”:  Going back to the "devil I know" has been the option of choice for years now.   My dad (God rest his soul) would smack me upside the head with a rolling pin....

So, statistically…. There has to be something redeeming out there… somewhere….

I have fallen close-to-love (extreme like) 2 times since February (both Kuwaiti).  I don’t know if this is because they are really great guys or (more likely) that I’m rebounding.  (Or maybe because I have been so busy since then and meeting SO many people.)  One was so religious (thought I’d give that team a chance for once) that he immediately asked me to marry him – only because he didn’t want to be alone in a room (any room) with me any other way.  [He looked like a sheikh I’m hot for – totally tall and yummy. ( Not you – your brother….)]   It weren’t for love and he pretty much told me that our relationship would never be made public.  He was out the door.   I don’t adhere to that policy:  I’m not the type of girl to live in the shadows; I need the sun to flourish.

The other, I am still pining over (half Shammari – go figure!).  He is totally not my type; not someone who I would ever look at and think, ‘He’s the one.’  Yet, it is because he’s so different that I am so fassssssssssscinated.  Dude looks like an old rocker (who doesn’t sing nor play any musical instrument):  Long hair, kind of rough-around-the-edges look.   (I usually go for the dishtasha dudes – something about a sexy dishtasha… sigh).  He is actually younger than me, but he has more miles on his chassis.  He’s totally accepting of who I am and everything I stand for.  Desert Dawg loves him.  I love his thought process.  I love his stories – and I can talk to him and listen to him for hours….  But the kicker was, he told me immediately that he is in love with a married girlfriend.  He had a few other things going for him in the “cons” column that I can’t get my head around.  I know he is redeemable, but should I waste precious time in trying and playing the game, or should I just look for a COTS (Commercial Off The Shelf) package that fills all my specifications immediately? 

My thought process is pretty simple; if a guy really likes you, he’ll be tenacious about being with you.  For example:  The Man could have called anytime; could have sent flowers; could have tried to work things out, but never chose that route.  He chose instead to show me how little he cared (like when I asked him to take me to the doctor and his SMS response was, “I can’t” followed by turning off his phone).  Ah, “love”….  5 years of “love” 

(Et, by the way, I don’t count on men to help me when I really really need them anymore.  I call 1-800-GIRLFRIEND and an army, armed with swords and riding on white horses, comes to the rescue.  Perhaps, je suis cynical, however, I welcome the opportunity for men to prove me wrong..)

It is good that I can talk about this now because the opposite of love isn’t hate; it is indifference.  Hate takes energy.  Indifference doesn’t require a thang.

It is also good to have him finally out of my head.  I can’t even tell you how hard it was to be in love with someone and forcing myself to go out and meet/get to know other guys (while we were broken up).  Even when The Man and I had broken up and he wasn’t around, he was still WITH me all the time.  Now, he’s just not in the picture.  (I’m sorry if you are reading this and you feel sorry, but you know you could have had it all and you threw away your chances not a few, but hundreds of times.  It was never about anyone else.  It was all about us.)  Being the drama queen that I am (and thriving on it), I miss it sometimes.  I miss the family a LOT.  I miss hearing about their day-to-day stuff and feeling like I was part of something (which in reality, I wasn't - otherwise I wouldn't be alone on Islamic holidays, etc.)

Anyhoo, back to the real story:  Dating for Sport.   I had a date with a guy (I’m not even sure what his real name is and honestly don't care) and we agreed to have dinner.  He sat down and got on his phone (am I ugly?  Do I smell bad?).  He told me that his favorite restaurant would have cabinas (this one did not).   We ordered food.  Well, let me take that back… HE ordered what he wanted and then shut up long enough to allow me to tell the waiter what I would like.  More phone calls.  Several stares at my boobs.  The food arrived.  He ate out of the serving dishes.  He immediately asked for the check.  The waiter told him that the full meal had not arrived.  I happily volunteered to get it “to go”.  RAN to my car – no prolonged goodbyes there.  Dude had the nerve to call me back and send me text messages.  Yeh!  (It must have been in-between other oh-so-more-important calls… or, could be, that he spent 6KD on a meal and now thinks he’s going to get lucky.  NOT.)

In contrast, old rocker dude and I  had a GREAT date.  I loved it.  We laughed.  We both commented on the music they were playing (Unchain My Heart – how après peau).  We talked.  He makes me laugh.  We didn’t even realize it, but all the other patrons had gone; we closed the place down and we both asked for “just a few more minutes.”  I think I may be willing to give him several more chances.  Maybe I can fine tune the details.  

I have a date with an older guy who owns an engineering firm (also Kuwaiti).  He asked me what type of food I want and where I would like to meet him.  I told him to surprise me.  He’s taking me to The Balls of Kuwait (what I call the Kuwait Towers – Kuwait has 3 balls because… well… it’s Kuwait).  Isn’t that cool?  I love that!  What a great idea.  I’m really looking forward to it.

I’ve also got upcoming dates with several other potential candidates:  One is a business guy who has me scheduled into his book sometime next week (beware of the “busy man” – I smell trouble).  The other is a recently divorced, easy-going type who I think may prove to be too much of a fuddy-duddy.    I’ve also got a few young guys who are professing their undying admiration (yeah, sure).

Don’t ask me how I have been meeting so many people, but I have.  It seems that when your heart is unrestricted,  you notice people around you.  I’m only going to remember the tenacious ones, however.  Yalla – show me you care.  Prove it, big guy.


Q8Sultana said...

It's kinda inspiring (and funny as usual) to read this right now...just ended it with someone who was very special to me (for no good reason). Sigh.
I like what you wrote about keeping your heard unrestricted.

Anonymous said...

i have never experienced a date or a relationship.i feel its weird.although i know a some of girls give smile or try to get noticed. i think its better to stay away.i dont want to waste my youth chasing them.i want to do something else.

A.Q.A said...

i'll date u 4 the fun of it and routine change ;p u already called me good looking on FB lool

American Girl said...

You go girl! I hope you not only have a fantastic time with your 'dating for sport', but meet that man who treats you with all the respect and love you absolutely deserve!

Something about those Shammari boys huh? Mmm mmm mmm.

Anonymous said...

you seem to just love one type of guy. i read you posts often because i find them intelligently written and funny as hell. i too am old school, and i get your humor. however, the one thing i can't wrap my head around is your undying love for all things kuwaiti. i am fully aware no one group of people has it all figured out and is better than another, but, come on...all kuwaitis? maybe this is why you face the "love" issues you do. as a western guy, i really cant stand how people are treated here - especially women. when they do it to their own, i tend not to bat an eye, but when it happens to other women, i am really irritated. you know going in what to why do you keep doing it? DG...come on girl...
i'm just sayin'...

Desert Girl said...

Q8Sultana - Time is what is required. I feel for you, girl.

Anonymous 10:18 - the relationships I had in my youth were some of the fondest memories of my life. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I think it is all part of the journey.

A.Q.A. - Who you? ;)

American Girl - Thank you, as always, for your love and support. Life just wouldn't be the same without those bad-boy Shammaris! :) I hear ya.

Anonymous 3:08 - Em, do you think it would be any better dating Western guys? I don't think so. I did that before I came here with pretty much the same results (actually worse). I don't have an "undying love" for all things Kuwaiti; I would say it is more of a love/hate relationship (good days/bad days), but I live here; it is my life, and I think I am incredibly blessed being somewhat integrated into the culture. I think you have a skewed vision of the treatment of women in Kuwait. My Kuwaiti girlfriends are all well-adjusted, happy, and many successful in business and other endeavors. What makes them different than Western women? There's good and bad everywhere. Open your eyes to the good.

Desert Girl said...

Did I mention that I have been meeting REALLY REALLY NICE GUYS LATELY?

Babble said...

LOL - love the 'looked at my boobs a few times' - I hate guys like this.
I have a whole list of potential husbands if you want them.
They hit the 'half/half' point, the 'dishdasha for family days'/'casual on other days' and are genuinely normal. LOL
Good luck, hope you find the lucky guy, all I can say is, thank god those days are over...christ you have to kiss 'have coffee with' (in this country) some frogs to find your prince!

Expat and the City said...

From reading your blog I can't stand the "loser" man. He just isn't even close to being good enough for you. I was very happy to read that you moved on. Best of luck to you and have fun dating for sport! I hope you make it to the dating Olympics and win the Gold! ;)

Desert Girl said...

Babble - Write to me! Hook me up. I'm always up for a new adventure. Yallah. The best people you can meet are people your friends (virtual and otherwise) introduce you to. If I'm not mistaken, you have been reading for a few years now. I think you know (part of) me by now. :)

Expat - I hope you know how much I value your words of encouragement every now and then. What would we be without good female friends? :) Thanks, girl!

NJ said...

Wow, you got it goin' on... yeah those dishdasha dudes, really look snappy. I've been stuck on (on and off) on this guy for four years... incase any of your dates got a 21 year old bro. hit me ;p

Anonymous said...

Hehehe dating for sport... do you fancy writing a guide for the rest of us ;)

The Don ® said...

Do you still own the red Stealth? hahaha.. how are you doing hun?? I know, it's been a while lol..

I can't believe we have never actually met, now I live in Europe.. you can always pay me a visit, but I don't think I would be wearing a dishdasha here anytime soon.. hahaha..

you are missed..

Desert Girl said...

Don - Damn I miss you, boy! Now I know where you disappeared to - Europe, huh? Name a time and a country and I will be there to meet you. :* Thank you for missing me too.