Monday, July 19, 2010

God doesn't want me to have cupcakes

Several days ago, I was sitting alone and the Devil was sitting on my shoulder, whispering something in my ear about birthday cake.  You know - the typical American vanilla sheet kind.  Damn the Devil!  I got it in my head that I had to have some; but where the Hell do you find that kind of birthday cake in Kuwait?  It's not the same here.  Yeah, I guess the closest I could come would be La Baguette's cake, but it is still FRENCH style baking (everything is light and fluffy and airy and oooo la la).

So I determined that the next best thing (short of baking - which I am not in the mood for) would be cupakes. 

Being the lazyass that I am, I figured I could do this from the comfort of my sofa; and got online to  Usually 6alabat doesn't let me down; good food for decent prices.  (The only time they have let me down is refunding money on KNET orders.)  .... that is.... until I ordered from J's Bakery.  O...M....G what a RIP. 

What I am picturing are 12 (I ate a few to test) rock-hard, stale MINI (they never mentioned that on the menu) cupcakes, 2 bags of kettle corn (all the kernels were broken and the bags were tiny), and 2 itty-bitty bite sized (1" square) brownies.  The total price was 5.600.  Holy shyt! I could have fed 2 people full meals on that.  I can't remember how much the cupcakes were, but I distinctly remember the popcorn was .500 fils per bag (the size of my hand) and each brownie (1" square) was .900 fils.  I thought that they had jipped me on the brownie:  it appeared that there was only 1 in the pack, but on closer inspection, there were 2 - making a total of 2".  Can we all say RIP OFF?

I called J's Bakery.  Response:  "Ooooooh".  Yeah. okay. Whatever.  Once burned...

So, my cupcake craving had now become a mission.  That's IT.  It's on like donkey kong.  I got online and started researching f-ing cupcakes in Kuwait.  I remembered that I had seen a place in Fanar and Mark's blog mentioned Juju's Cupcakes.  Hmmm.  Worth a shot.

I first sent them an e-mail requesting an order of a dozen fresh cupcakes for pick up.  Email bounced back.  Snap.  Not a good sign.  So, I went to Fanar at 5 pm in cynical mode; fully expecting all their cupcakes to be stale and hard. I raised an eyebrow at the cupcake dude, skeptically and  I bought one just to test. OMG good!  Their packaging says "Yummy" and it is really a statement of truth.  I was so not disappointed.  Flavor of the day was tirimasu and they had bite-sized samples (same size as I got from J's bakery) to try.  I bought an assortment to try including carot cake, red velvet, chocolate with a cream center.

Cool!  So I was ready to bounce home and get cupcake busy.... when Slaps called me.  She has just returned from Beirut with a new obsession:  sheesha.  WTF?!  Sheesha?  I know when she gets immersed in something, there is no talking her out of it, so I agreed to meet her at Awtar Libnan at Marina.

I didn't want to leave my cupcakes in the car, I brought them with me into the restaurant (and guarded them really carefully like a vulture).

Sheesha mission accomplished, we walked back to the valet.  I held onto the Juju's cute little pink box by the handle.... walking... and we're walking... and... SPLAT!  The handle broke.  I remember that feeling... I was 6.  Every time I walked out of the ice cream parlor in Wickford, Rhode Island, and reached for the door handle my ice cream would drop on the floor and I would cry.  (Why my mother could never open the door for me will remain a mystery.)  Same feeling.  My bottom lip immediately jutted out.  I stared at the box on the ground.  The valet guys laughed. Slaps laughed.  'IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!'  It was horrific.

Fekit.  I took them home and ate Juju cupcake mush.  I had frosting all over me.  They were great even in their mushed state.

If you ever HAVE to have a cupcake, Juju's is FAAAAABULOUS (just make sure to hold the box from the bottom).  Juju honey, change your boxes:  They're cute, but they destroy precious cargo.

Their numbers are 2572-2999 and 2495-7899.  Go Juju, go Juju....


Chrys said...

OMG, u had me LOL at the pic of ur cupcake mush! I have tears in my eyes!

I would've done the same thing though! LMAO

Desert Girl said...

I had cupcake mush and soup for dinner tonight. yeah, I can stretch a meal.

It almost brought a tear to my eye just seeing the photo again.

Have you seen Eddie Murphy in "Raw" where he drops his ice cream on the ground and then stares at it sorrowfully? That was me yesterday.

Anonymous said...

The last few times I tried Jujus the frosting had an aftertaste to it. But I admit that I am a little too picky sometimes. Try crumbs bakery, their cupcakes are amazing. So are their mini bite thingys. soooo yummy. Sorry I don't have the number, but their website is pretty informative. There are locations in avenues (foodcourt) and shaab.

Slapperella said...

DG - great post! hilarious! just as funny as it was in real life!!

I'm happy to take you to Crumbs bakery in shaab but i tell you now that i'm not going to the avenues foodcourt - ok? :)

luff you

Anonymous said...

Hi I am the same anony who wrote about crumbs... they deliver too. Kind of steep at around 7 or 10 kd but if you have a couple of people (or if your appetite is big enough, and come on all us girls have been there whether love, pain, hormones or just wanting cupcakes lol) its worth the delivery charge. btw i have nothing to do with the bakery at all, I just love their cupcakes and mini bites

Dreamer said...

They look interesting, I'll see if I can find a youtube video of how to make them.

123 said...

Wow you cracked me up real hard, ana bil dawam oo dmoo3! and its really hard to make me laugh hahahaaa

danerie cupcakes said...

If you ever have another cupcake craving don't hesitate to send me an

Badreah said...

Next time, try Sugar and Spice. They are my fav. They use traditional butter cream frosting, nit that fake crap. YUm Yum Yum!