Monday, January 03, 2005

Perky, Perky, Perky

Where the HELL are my paxil pills??? I am having a paxil moment: I shall name the moment, "The Past Year in Kuwait".

I have trashed my Discovery to the point of actually having to take it to a mechanic/medic to get new shocks. That's pretty bad, because I was under the distinct impression that it was Indestructable (yes, even though it is Briddish!) I think I either ruined the shocks last year on a HUGE hill in the desert (trying to crack my friends head open on the roof as she was sitting on the back seat) or by driving down the emergency lane after a masked bee-atch slammed on her brakes HARD for the last time and then sped up as I tried to make it around her. The emergency lane is for emergencies people. Let's keep it that way. It was an emergency. I would have killed her if I hadn't done it.

I have fantasies about throwing little metal jacks out the window onto the emergency lane as I see people coming up at 100 mph in my side-view mirror. I wonder if little metal jacks will shred tires. hmmmmm. I am SURE they are the same people who have put all those little chips in my windshield. ...and it is almost time for Stupid Car Registration Renewal Time. Wonder how many tickets I have this year. Bummer.

So anyhooo, I drove my sports car to work today. A Mental Midget (there are so many) headed towards Jahra (need I say more) in a Lumina cut in front of me with about 2 inches to spare to prove that he has a penis. I don't CARE if they have penises (pl: penai?). I am just driving down the frickin road. They get all bent out of shape when they see a female in a sports car - as if it is a challenge to their manhood. GET OVER IT! And guys... "it's not the car, it's the driver" is BS!

I went to find that great sandwich place last night. The sandwich is called a Sheel ow Meshi (don't ask why) and it is from a restaurant with an Arabic sign (no read Arabic) in green and pink with a Lebanese cedar tree on it behind Platinum.

It is so sad that my world revolves around food. I wonder what Dr. Phil would say about that. The One has a kick-ass pumpkin cheesecake. I'm almost to the point where I am sick of it now. I am 95% sick of all forms of hot chocolate (got onto a comfort food kick before Christmas). I bought many forms and decided to taste test and OD'ed. Fauchon is the best. New Year's RESOLUTION #2!!! At least I'm not going to McDonalds anymore. That was so bad.

Dickhead HR Dude was overheard making the comment, "I don't know what she does on her fat ass all day." I'll tell you - think of ways that the universe might make a house drop on him - that's what.



nibaq said...

You know I share the same thoughts when I see people crossing on the emergency lane some sort of "fuck you I hope you die" type thing.

I have seen cops busting people who go on that lane. I think the easist way just have some cop on a bridge or something and just be look out and telling the cops ahead who to stop.

Maybe they like to cut you off cause of your cars color?

bitzer said...

nibaq hates bad drivers.

"hey pot, this is kettle. you're black."

/me giggles like a little girl.

Desert Girl said...

Yeah, the sports car is red (as in "I have a bigger penis than you" red). LOL. Red is an invitation here. Invitation for Just About Everything. As in - the cloth in front of the bull at the bullfight red. I don't even like red cars, but this particular one looks good in red.

Anyways, I got the Discovery back from the mechanic. It is my tank. :)

Desert Girl said...

2010 Update - The dickhead HR guy was the one at PWC who was arrested for embezzlement approximately a year after I wrote this post.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What did YOUR fat ass do in jail? Or wait - what was done to your fat ass in jail?