Friday, March 30, 2012

Vacation Time - The Angry White Woman Post

You know when it is time to get an attitude adjustment and get out of your surroundings for a while when people start to piss you off in great numbers; some koshable offences (the kind where you kosh someone over the head with say ... a 2x4) and some just general annoyances/irritations/stupid shit.

I've had several of the former lately and people.... I'm just waiting for someone to prove me wrong about humanity.  I know, you're thinkin', "Desert Girl, look at the cup as half full..." Phuck that.  If you have paid 60KD for a cheap bottle of tequila, you are fer sure thinking, "OMG.  It's half empty!  I need to slow down."

Butterfly, my dear and trusted advisor on spiritual and soul-healing matters says, "Ask for what you want.  Don't tell The Universe the negatives that you don't want."  So true, girlfraynd, so true.  So here is what I want:

  • Good health.  [Including, but not limited to: Boobs that will never sag (big concern).  Maintaining the current state of my butt.]
  • I want my mom to live as long as I do (that's a wish).  If I never have a family of my own, at least I have had the most amazing mentor/friend/companion that I could ever have asked for.
  • A man who can stick to his promises.  Intelligent. Make me laugh.  Intuitive to know what I want; often to the point of pre-empting my verbalization of it.  Care sincerely about me/my well-being. (And then the superficial stuff like tall, asmar, dark eyes, good looking, financially stable/job, an animal in the bedroom...).  But seriously, let him stick to his promises.  Please.  For the Love of God, please make him stick to his promises.  
  • Friends who value me as much as I value them.  Who reciprocate - in friendship and in other ways.  Keep promises.  Say what they mean and mean what they say. Respond to invitations.
... ok, the list goes on, but these are the things for right now.

I need to stop getting pissed off and (unfortunately) just break ties.  If you let me down, I'm not going to stick around.  I'm not going to reward bad behavior.  You don't get my time.  You don't get my help.  You don't get my compassion.  Life is too short and sometimes it is damn hard to replenish positive energy.

And speaking of positive energy, shout out to my dear friend, Special K.  I appreciate your pep talks and trying to talk me out of dark moods when others have let me down.  We're going to rock Dubai and I am so very very grateful.  I wish Mrs. Special K was here to join us.  I'm sure we'll be calling you, girl.

My mommy is coming to Kuwait soon- in the next few weeks.  As she says, this will probably be her last trip to Kuwait so I'm hoping she has a fantabulous time. She picks up my spirits and being with her will be like a holiday for me.

Then, it is off to the GSA conference in San Antonio in May with Stella, her daughters and cousin, my 2 sisters, my friend who lives in SA.... endless margaritas on the River Walk.  Sigh...

I can get through until then without koshing anyone, right?


Anonymous said...

Maybe you need to go to Bali and attend the 'Escape the World' retreat? You need some soul searching outside the bottle to analyze why you can't seem to let go of this place, yet you yearn to spend special moments with the people that you truly love, your family. Your mother loves you so she will embark on that last journey to Kuwait to hopefully knock some sense into you. Not sure, as much as you desire, that a Kuwaiti man is your destined soulmate. You have given it the 'college try' but after fifteen years in this place, which I term as 'the land of incompetence, where the incompetent thrive' you might also be in need of a career move. Although you have built a solid group of friends here, they will always be your friends and there is facebook.

Desert Girl said...

Bora Bora is my vacation spot of choice, but Bali might be nice too.

"Can't seem to let go of this place." Emmmm..... judgement much or what? Have you considered that I LIKE IT HERE? Let me ask you something: Is Kuwait different any other place? But yes, it is a different culture (just like New Mexico might be if you were moving from New York; different sub-cultures within the same country). Kuwait is where I prefer to live. Why judge that? Would I judge someone who made a decision to live where they WANTED to live? Why should I? Would I judge someone who wanted to live in Atlanta or Dallas or Rome or Tibet or.... wherever? What makes any other place "better"? This is where I CHOOSE to live. My choice. Mine.

I used to complain about living around the beltway in DC and feeling like a rat on a wheel working for defense contractors where many of my colleagues didn't even know my name. Every once in a while, your bubble pisses you off. Then you start a blog and point fingers and poke fun at it. (That's what I do....)

But you're right - I have solid friends everywhere (including the ones I have in the US). The friends who are true friends I maintain contact with. The others (as in this post) are left behind.

My mother doesn't need to knock any sense into me. If I wanted to be anyplace else in the world, I can afford my own ticket and relocation costs (alone - NOT with a man to help me); thanks to the career that I am happy with, having reached this point by hard work, experience, and knowledge I've acquired along the way.

This job (which is a step along my career path but not the entire journey) has been a tremendous learning experience and I'm very thankful for it (and the paycheck doesn't suck either!)

What you refer to as a "college try" just happens to be my life choice. 15 years is not a "try"; it is a conscious decision to make my life here - with or without a "soul mate" (IF such a thing exists which in my personal experience is something that I have serious doubts about; kind of like a unicorn. Only some species like wolves and some types of birds mate for life; humans, not so much.) I haven't limited myself to dating Kuwait men; although they are my preference (just like American men or Asian men or Latin men or African men or people of the same gender - or whatever - might be someone else's preference). I have my own reasons.

I have a quality of life that I enjoy in Kuwait for the most part. Living/working in DC, it was time for vacation/attitude adjustment after a period of time also.

Family: If I moved from DC to California, I would miss my family just as much (and have only a 2 week vacation per year - IF that) to visit them. On average, I am now getting to see them almost quarterly. I get on a plane at night, I wake up in the morning and I'm 5 minutes from our house.

6:14, I'm assuming you are in Kuwait, so you must have your own reasons for being here too. I also assume that you weighed your decision to come here and to stay here. It was a CHOICE. If you don't like it here, then you can always choose to leave also. Your choice, I assume, not something your "mother (or anyone else) can knock sense into you" about. Am I wrong?

I'm kind of sensing by your tone that maybe I'm not the only one who needs to do some soul searching outside the bottle.

Be careful how you judge lest ye be judged.

Expat and the City said...

If you need a place to stash your bottles while Mama is visiting then please let me assist you DG. :P

Where is your favorite hotel to stay in Dubai? I met to ask you before in an email.

Please don't ever leave Kuwait. Your stalkers will be lost without you. xoxo

Desert Girl said...

Love you, Expat girrrrl.

Thanks for the offer but Mama is the one who is in need of the bottles! :) I had to make extra.

My favorite hotel in Dubai is Royal Mirage. It is my favorite and yet I can not afford it.

I don't get to Dubai very often anymore. I used to go all the time for work (seriously - and not by the hour work either). ha.

Expat and the City said...

Oops, "meant" not met.

Love you more DG :* :* :*

I need to learn how to make it. Do you give special cooking classes? ;)

Pookytoo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Linda said...

I love this post and the subsequent follow up. Everyone has "off days", it doesn’t mean that they want to change their life. DG obviously loves Kuwait and the Kuwaiti people. Every now and then some of us feel let down when others don't treat you as you would treat them.

I didn’t like Kuwait when I first arrived as I had many negative experiences but through DG’s infectious optimism I have realised that for all those people who don’t want you in their country there are just as many locals who do and are very welcoming. I now regularly talk to my Kuwaiti neighbours – I have even learnt a bit of Arabic. Sometimes the glass is half empty but sometimes it is half full too.

Anonymous said...

Hey.. Desert Girl How are you? Vacation it's very good idea..!!! Some times I reed you and sometimes I like what about you talk... And now too I so much agree with you...

LWDLIK said...

It will pass honey x Enjoy your mummy time xx