Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Shut-in Goes Out

I really have nothing in particular to write about, but I'm in the mood, so I will.

I went out to dinner last night with my ambassador friend and his friend - very nice journalist guy who knows a lot about a lot. I adore people who pick restaurants close to my house. I am hating traffic lately (among other crowd-related issues).

As usual, when we sat down, we tried to find a table that wasn't right next to anyone else, so we could talk. As usual, a table full of women plops down at the table so close that if I sneezed, it would have been all over them. Why IS that? Why is it that you could be sitting at the ONLY table in the restaurant in Kuwait and a party comes in (usually women) and is so close that you might as well frickin invite them to join you for dinner? (Sometimes, I get up and move to the other side of the restaurant. HATE IT.) That's the way I felt last night. These chubba wubbas were totally into our entire conversation and stared so bad that I stared back and made funny faces. It is just me that notices and is bothered by this kind of behavior? Drives me frickin crazy; so much so that I don't even want to leave home most of the time. So RUDE. Several of the Fatty Spice Girls held a conversation - right next to us - about us. WTF? Can't a foreigner just have a meal? Back tha f OFF! I coulda lowered myself to saying to my friends (again, within a distance so close that if I whispered it, all of them could have heard it), "She's so fat that her husband just has to slap her ass and ride the waves in... " yet I have so much more class than that.

I noticed that biotches were paying with a coupon; Their big night out. No men except for children [either they were a table full of divorcees (which would be my hypothesis; that means educated guess) or the menfolk ran away for the night.]

Anyhoo... back to my story... it was very nice to see my friend again. He's such a sweetheart and always takes the time to introduce me to new and interesting people.

I also saw a sheikha at the valet that I recognized but can't remember her name. She has such a warm, sincere smile that I felt good about humanity again for a moment. Why can't more people be like that - smile!

Ok, it might be one thing for members of the opposite sex to smile at each other, but why the hey can't women here just smile at each other? Why if you smile at someone, she gives you a dirty look? Which, just makes me smile even more making me appear INsane (it is only if I run after them flapping my arms that it gets really scary - not that I would do that because I'm too frickin classy). Weird smiling is enough. Girls, how many of you out there smile at other women? Maybe you admire what she's wearing or how she looks or she just looks friendly. Its a smile. I do it all the time. It's no big deal. Why can't people just be nice and polite? Do they all assume that everybody is a lesbian or something? I don't get it. All females can't be lesbians and ok, even if a lesbian smiled at me - so what? It's still just a smile.

Speaking of smiling, I was on my way to the IVH with Desert Dawg one day last week and there was a guy in a Pajero who turned all the way around in his seat to smile at me. It was contageous. We both started laughing. He didn't want anything - he took his turn and drove off. He just had the biggest, brightest smile I have seen in a long time. (And then he threw me to the ground and ravished me. -- Naw, just kidding. It was totally sweet and innocent.)

I hope I hope I hope that this weekend I am going to catch up with more old (as in "known them a long time") friends that I haven't seen in years. I have a feeling that if I do meet up with this particular crowd, its gonna get giggly. I haven't seen them since Kalamazoo in the late 80's.... What happened in Kalamazoo, STAYED in Kalamazoo....

One of the guys and I hit it off immediately back then. I walked in the room and it was as if I had known him my whole life. He knew I understood a little Arabic and from then on, he wouldn't speak English to me. I spoke to him on the phone again the other day (we hadn't spoken since then) and he still throws out the Arabic phrases, only now - I understand all the references and can shoot back. Damn, I missed you, boy!


Snow said...

The smiling thing is true, for some reason the women don't smile here, when my mom came to visit she was SHOCKED! She's the type to talk to every Tom, Dick and Harry she meets so for her entire stay she just kept saying "Kuwaitis are kinda rude, don't you think? How come no one smiles? Why does everyone have a dirty look on their face? What's wrong with your husband, he doesn't fit it, he smiles too much"...anyway, I guess that's just how they are, we tend to smile at people when we pass them, which I still do when passing a westerner in the mall or something, because that's how we roll. I do have to say that it is sad...maybe if the women smiled more they wouldn't stare and gossip so much. :D

Moody said...

I loved this post !! its so random and so true !!

About women sitting right next to you, i do believe that this is one of their ways to gossip and make fun of people, i mean how will they do that from far away :P i loved the "fat spice girls" part, it cracked me up !

Was the shaikha that you saw is Al Shaikha Al Zain ? cuz she is soo friendly and always smiling so it could be her!! she is the one who went on Oprah once.
and for the girl-to-girl smiling, i have no problem with it, and i do know what you mean when you say they look weird back at you, but again...we arent in the states when everyone smiles and be polite, we have along way ahead of us to reach that level.

Desert Girl said...

Thanks youse girls! (Says me, SMILING!)

Moody, no, it wasn't Sheikha Zain. The lady I saw was an older Sheikha - very cute!

Her said...

Love your post, DG! Your insights are all sOOO true. As a Westerner, I do have many Kuwaiti and Arab friends, who are lovely, but sadly I have dealt with som many unfriendly and rude Kuwaiti divas as well.... I still dont get the rude-look thing. I have been here for 6 years and still get weird looks from the women all the time. I dress conservatively but classy,yet sometimes they look at me as if Im a whore or something!!! Why?!! And if I happen to be with a Kuwaiti male FRIEND, then their horns come out big time!!!

And I do smile and try to be friendly, and in return I get strange, cold looks from the women folk. Ufff...what is a friendly Canadian lady to do?!

I loath how frequently some chick bumps into me at a store or something without even saying sorry! And also feels the need to plop down next to me at a restuarant, only to listen in on my conversations and comment to her biotchy friends. Guess what --- I understand what ur saying, chica!

Frustrating! Glad u expressed these experiences too. Im not alone!! :)

You rock, DG. Yu make me laugh and are a therapeutic read. Thanks :)

Anonymous said...

Hey girl, You really cracked me up, i love it, as for the restaurant and the 'ladies' next to u, well happened to me and my friends too, so we changed the discussion to S.x, talking abt our private lives and comparing lol. Soon they were sooo red that they turned away!!! And i do keep staring back until they back off...we should go out one day!!! it will be hilarious!!!
Miss yah

ScotlandiyaArabiya said...

So glad you are out and about again and that Desert Dawg is on the mend.

daggero said...

DG :

How are ya doing .

Whatever happend to Expat and the city . Her blog is an Invite only .

i was about to comment on her blog ??

Anonymous said...

Snow: my mom is all about smiles and making small talk with random people everywhere we/she goes - sometimes it makes me want to hide under a giant rock.. honestly i stopped going with her to sultan salmiya cause she keeps asking blond guys if they wanna take her daughter out -

does anybody know a good therapist?

Desert Girl said...

Anonymous 9:16 - you have just given me all kinds of devious thoughts. I am SO going to do that!!!! LOVE IT!!!

Her - You have to get the right mindset, honey. We are all whores. You're a whore. I'm a whore. We can't help it. We're western. We invented porno. That's what's up with the dirty looks. It is ok to watch it and play "monkey-see, monkey-do" (and, I admit, I'm guilty of that too), but you just can't be from the Land of The Blondes that started it all! :D LOL!

Oh, and about the bumping - I'm going to post on that right now. Just for you!

DOD said...

Every time I go out with my family I pick a spot out of the way so the children don’t bother anybody, but for some reason 99 percent of the time the hostess sits the next couple right next to us. Most of the time there is noooobody in the place and they still sit right next to us, WTF? Maybe somebody is paying me back for something I have done, who knows? :) Well I can’t understand Arabic to much so I would never know they are talking about me, which is a good thing for them, because if I did something’s going to happen…