Sunday, May 16, 2010

Blocking - Kuwaiti Style

"Her" made a remark on my previous post, adding that she has been "bumped" while shopping. I would like to elaborate on this maneuver to follow. I'm not going to even get into people snatching things from your hands while shopping, or sales in Kuwait (which terrify me). Kids, today's subject is blocking.

"Blocking" in American football refers to, "Obstructing another player's path with his(her) body." If you don't know anything about American football, sometimes on TV or in the movies they show burly, large men heaving themselves at machines, grunting or shouting loudly, and trying to push the blocking dummies/sleds forward. This is an exercise for what it is like on the playing field; object - to move your opponent out of the way.

In Kuwait, "ladies" (loose reference to the phrase) (and never men) often use the double-team approach and block the way so that you can't get around them.

T H E Y D O N ' T M O V E.

These are the same "demure" women carrying $2000 bags and wearing stilletto heels by Chanel to tour the mall. Their drivers wait patiently for them outside and carry their bags. (They later go somewhere together for mini mini mini treats of some kind and skim lattes).

The blank stares, the continual forward movement into personal space, the inability to defer from course can be perceived as an act of aggression... leading to a reaction....

One instinctual reaction might perhaps be: "Girlfriend, git out tha phu-ckin way 'fore I knock yo ass DOWN!"

Frustration and indignance: WHY do such women believe that they are entitled? WHY do they believe that the rest of the world will bend for THEM? WHY do they want the mountain to move for them?

Et moi... aint gonna happen. It is my physical game of chicken. I maneuver to an extent - and expect the same of the other player. If she is unwilling to maneuver around me (as I am to her), then she gets blocked.

My friend works at a university in Kuwait. She has noted the same thing, time and time again. She is in a position to be respected as a professor, and as an elder member of society. However, they expect her to move to accommodate their approach; and not the other way around.

Both of us have taken the same method of blocking: hunker down with your shoulders slightly bent forward, tighten your muscles, and push through.

The reaction: "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" (This technique is always followed by a squeal from the opponent, as they didn't see it coming.) Oh, the shock, the babbling that ensues. I don't even look back. Sometimes I throw out an over-the-top sweet, "Asfaaaa, habibti." ("I'm sorry, honey." Kind of like a Texan saying, "Bless your heart!") but not often.

Blocking. Bada BING.


DOD said... funny

Anonymous said...

I loved this artical of urs...LOL

Anonymous said...

I was in The Avenues Mall and one of those richy bitchy types almost knocked me down and I had my baby, when I said "Damn didn't you see me" she gave me the dirtiest look and she was ready to fight. She and her crew were just waiting for me to go at her, she's lucky I had my baby or I would have got down with her California ghetto style.

Anonymous said...

actually they only wear chanel flats now, for heels its loubies.

Desert Girl said...

Anonymous 1:48 - You must be hangin in a different mall because the ones I've seen have actually been wearing stilettos.

Anonymous said...

OMG, you are so right about the blocking. I was getting so mad that I started body checking them if they wouldn't move or I block them and I DON'T BUDGE.

It amazes me that people think American's have this heir of entitlement...they have obviously never been to Kuwait.

Anonymous said...


i loved your artical.
I need to say this, i blame the guys so the girls act like this, because the guys in kuwait are like hyena. The guys let the girls do what ever but still the guy run after the girl like she is big shoot.,

ps i am on from kuwait, i have hard time to understand the mentality over here, i feel confuse.

Anonymous said...

I guess I was guilty the other day of blocking. I went to pizza hut and all the total of the 30 seconds it took me to put the pizza in the backseat I blocked a lexus from pulling in. Silly me and she was quick to inform me that if it were not for her country I would not be eating. Kind of confusing since the US government seems to be the one paying me. And wasnt the time I was here in 1991 with the army kind of a way to ensure she still in fact had a country. How quickly people forget. I do ponder that a lot though and wonder if the attitude is because Iraq did not occupy for that long of a time.

Butterfly on the Wall said...

DG, I have 3 weeks left before I join the Kuwait experience. Overall, I am excited for the opportunity to live in such a beautiful country. However, I am appalled by the stories of personal space invasion and Medusa stares. I was just telling a friend that my go to language when violated is that the offender gets the do not pass Go, don't go straight to jail, but gets cussed the F out card.

We are all "entitled" to respect. I pity the fool that disrespects me.