Thursday, May 27, 2010

It's Da Balm!

I don't usually go to ministries in Kuwait unless I really really really really HAVE to.

I've had an on-going lip balm dilema. Yes kids, lip balm as in Chapstick type stuff. Ya see, the company I work for sponsors golf tournaments and the like [(where people's lips can be damaged by the sun). Lip balm is also good for kissing the many many many asses that you have to, in order to get things done. I was looking for a give-away that would be something different from the norm (pens, key rings - snoooooooore).] I thought it would be perfect for our convention in Miami (and it turned out to be because some of the other booths were giving it away also).

My personal favorite give away, however, were the chocolate cigars. For two reasons.... anyhooo....

The company I ordered da balm from in Kuwait was LATE and they didn't arrive until the day before I was leaving. So, I shipped them quick to Miami. They arrived at the shipping company's holding too late for the convention, so I told the shipping company to send them back to Kuwait.

Back in Kuwait: Get a call from the shipping company. We owe them 1000 KD for customs. Uh nooooo - I aint gonna pay it. Their fault, their problem. The next problem I face is that they want a letter from the Ministry of Health stating that I can "import" (RE-import!!) the lipbalm. Aaaah, but I have wastah at that ministry. Cool.

So, armed with a letter from my Wastahman, I go to the involved department for the approval (where, by the way, everyone is drinking Abraaj water. Statement from the manufacturer? Dunno.). Dude not there. They send me to a woman who can help in his absence. Damn - not a woman. Men are so much easier to deal with at ministries! RRRRR. Ok, so I go to Ms. Thang. I knock, she answers, I enter. SOOOO much fake Chanel that I don't think she could have stood up (had she wanted to); however, she was eating something that appeared to be a rather large cream puff (didn't bother to put it down), and didn't stand regardless.

I axe Ms. Thang if she speaks English (in Arabic).
She indignantly responded, "Of cooooooorse I do!"
Yeh! Ok, so I know where it is going. I have Wastah Letter in hand. I explain my situation while she takes mental notes about my outfit while scowling at me behind flaming red lipstick. I hand her a sample lip balm. She rubs it on her wrist, smells it. Blurts out,
"How many?"
I said, '2,500'.
Ms. Thang, "No! Too many."
Whaaaaaaat? What does she mean "too many?"

Ok, so show her the letter from Wastah Man and she says,
"Do you want my advice?"
(This is going nowhere and she's a biotch): 'No. I don't. May I have my papers?'
"This is my advice.... you go back to this person and"
'Habibti, thank you, but I don't want your advice. May I have my papers? It's reeeeeeeeeeally no problem.' (Big f-u grin.)
She goes to hand me back the sample. I said, "Thanks, but I don't want it."
and she thought I meant that it was a gift, "Oh, thank you!"
(I didn't want it back because she had rubbed it on her food-dirty, fakeass Chanel-encased wrist. Ew. How hygenic is THAT, Ms. Ministry of Health employee?)

This lip balm is pissin me off.


daggero said...

DG :

I Love creativity but sometimes it backfires big time , another giveaway story gone wrong when they gave ALWAYS tampon to guys at this year Ad Eaters night at the Avenues ,check the posts of chikapappi

Stani said...

hehehe, but you never heard her out completely and by seeing her final response i think you could have just given her a few more samples of those lip balms to bribe her.