Non-Kuwaiti Wives Blamed
Arab Times, Local, 22 November 2009
A number of social and psychological specialists (WHICH ones? Qualify statements, newspapers!!!!) disclosed the issue of Kuwaiti men marrying foreigners has caused an increase in the percentage of spinsters in the country, which meddles in the process of raising of the kids (is that even possible if they are spinsters?? Poor writing.), reports Al-Shahid daily.
The specialists (again, which specialists and what qualifies them to be a specialist?) noted the phenomenon has caused the emergence of social problems in the country (as if social problems weren't already here). They added foreign women consider Kuwaitis as mobile banks (Puhleeeeze – the majority of Kuwaitis these days are middle class and some with government jobs make less than 1000 KD a month – do they consider that a “bank”?) and deal with them in relation to this concept.
Moreover, they stressed that marriages without intimacy and compassion will definitely fail. (Ok that has nothing to do with the rest of the story. In what context? Does it mean that Kuwaiti men are marrying foreigners for more or less compassion/intimacy?)
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Here is my thing, maybe the women just don't want to get married. Did the "experts" ever consider that? Maybe society is changing. Maybe because of the archaic family law in Kuwait, women in the country have seen marriage as something different - servitude. And at the end, what happens? Dude cheats (which is legal in Kuwait for the man) and/or marries a second wife. If the woman wants a divorce, she looses end-of-marriage money (which is similar to alimony that has been written into a marriage contract). On the flipside for men (in Sunni marriages), the mother always gets the kids.
There are also all kinds of home-grown Kuwaiti social issues like marrying into an "acceptable" family, the dowry, having to deal with Kuwaiti inlaws (which leads to quite a few divorces in Kuwait). The dowry is often quite high: clothes, jewelry, car(s), the promise of a house with servants, etc. Dude would HAVE to be a mobile bank to finance some of these requests.
Foreign women are less likely to hand their kids over to a nanny to raise. Did the "specialists" consider that? It is not unrealistic for Kuwaiti couples to have 2 or 3 nannies/maids to "help" with the kids.
As for the incentives for Kuwaitis to marry Kuwaitis - I know of at least 4 Kuwaiti couples who have married purely to receive the government incentive money. They split it, split up, and move on.
I think that before casting the first stone, the "specialists" should take a good hard look at their glass house.
9 comments:
Society IS changing. But no one wants to believe it. The moment you say it, it gets denied. They say we have a democracy and more freedom than most gulf nations, but to be honest we're the most tied down in terms of our cultural laws. I wish they were the great ones, like being hospitable, earning your money by working, singing folklore, building your own house and sweeping your 7osh. Marrying for the right reasons, respecting your wife, her family, being loyal and ambitious. Instead its JUST the don'ts. DONT do this, DONT do that, you CANT marry him/her, he/she is not from our family. He/she is not Kuwaiti. He/she is not sunni/shee3i. This is all, obviously, much easier for a guy.
I could go on but I would just rant. To conclude, I really wish people would be open minded enough to believe in what they want to believe in, and not impose on others. Once you accept that, there would be no incentive for anyone to marry someone their parents don't want, or that society doesn't want to accept. When people learn to respect each others decisions, that's when the best ones will be made. Newspapers, stop tallying infidelity rates, divorce rates and kuwait vs foreign marriages and just move on. There are more important things in life!
So true DG!
Keep blogging Girl!
I think the issue is less to do with the men marrying foreign wives and more to do with the male prospects in Kuwait getting increasingly undesirable by the day. The nasheed are acting less like men, and more like spoilt children. They want the newest mobile, the hottest car, and the most phone numbers. A man, when he becomes a husband, should be a provider, a soulmate, and act like a man. Lately, they seem to be more inclined to go shopping, run around chasing skirts, and use their girlfriends for money to buy them toys than they are inclined to be faithful, work towards a household, and take care of their family. This, in turn, makes them undesirable mates. So, when a Kuwaiti woman attempts to find a groom, she is left with her pick of players, addicts, and the already marrieds, and socially undesirable matches...foreigners, people of lower social status, and men with financial problems. Would any of these "spinsters" jump to marry any of these boys? Not unless they're desperate to settle, 'cause it'd be settling in the truest sense of the word.
Many of the men who still act like men do so out of traditional values. Values that often come hand in hand with other ideas that may chafe a more modern Kuwaiti woman. This leaves the woman to compromise on a mate...she can either restrict her personal freedoms, or wed a man who is likely far below the standards she'd prefer to accept. It is a difficult situation, but I don't think the issue is as simple as "men like to marry foreigners, who'll put up with their bullshit in return for security."
soupprincess (and, yes, of course, I'm biased)
does this article (not yours DG) even warrant our time and energy. this place is so full of contradictions i dont even know where to begin. the only thing i have to say about the content tho -hitler. eugenics. pure blood line. yawn. who do these people think they are.
That article is so insulting to me as my mother is not Kuwaiti. What kind of fool writes stuff like that? Its so ignorant and utter nonsense. Its also really insulting, have respect for people's parents. Jeez..
I am a European woman and I am married to a Kuwaiti. I am quite offended by the so called 'specialist' that think we foreigners are the cause of all that is wrong in Kuwait.
I have certainly not marry my husband for money. As it is said in the blog I am raising alone my child whereas my sister in law has a nanny per baby. My husband can afford it without blinking an eye but I chose not to do it.
So we think Kuwaiti men are 'mobile banks'...hahaha...I certainly didn't marry my husband for money. As you well say, here the majority is middle class. I had more money and independence when I wasn't living in Kuwait.
I am only here because I love my husband.
It is retarded that they think they can affect the public opinion with those statements. Intelligent people know better.
once you read specialists and unnamed sources, you can be pretty sure, its some bored editor who had to meet his daily quota of words, filling up the columns of his newspaper, where they couldn't fit in an ad.
I think they'd be better of quoting you.
I believe the article made a wise choice not to mention any names behind some ludicrous report.
The fact is the society is changing, the women are faster in grasping the change, and the men are simply lagging behind.
The women in Kuwait are more educated than the previous generations and perhaps have come to realize that marrying someone just for the sake of marriage could lead to a bad outcome; therefore, they opt not to marry.
The men in Kuwait have traditionally had the upper-hand in the society and are not very keen to accept more modern women with more rights.
As for the foreign women, WTF they have to do with anything?
More than a quarter of Kuwaiti marriages end in divorce so if the Kuwaiti women are becoming spinsters is because of the fear of ending up like their married friends sisters and mothers, not because of Foreign women.
I believe the experts should concentrate on the fact that most Kuwaiti children are being raised up by foreign nannies, and perhaps that’s why they grow to marry non-Kuwaitis.
A blog is just a blog........just stand what u think is right....arguing cant solve any problems in the society..rather it ignites ones thhought and turns into fire.......just work hand in hand ....for the better....
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