Ailments

I have a few friends who, every time I call them - it might be within a few days or as long as a year - talk about their ailments.  Not just a little, but a lot.  30 minutes later, I'm wondering why I called.  Then, the attention turns to me (whoopee!  My turn to talk!), "So what about you, Desert Girl?  How is your health."  I always answer, 'Fine.  Nothing to report.'  Because even if I do have something going on 1) only old ladies talk about their ailments, and B) Who wants to hear about YOUR health problems, and 3) I'm only 29.  Why should I tell everybody what's wrong.  That's no good.

Sigh... but this is a blog and I'm not really talking to anyone and if you don't want to read about it, you can simply turn away.

I felt faaaaaaaaaabulous the entire time I was in the States.  The air was clear. The grass was green.  The trees were leafy.  No problems.  Get on the plane and no problems.  About halfway into the trip to Kuwait, I start sniffling.  Damn!  I have it again; that creepy plane crud.  No one was sitting near me. I couldn't see any snot-nosed kids.  It must have been something in the air (or lack thereof).

So we land.  I get home and have some refreshments. No problem.  The next day... bada BING - I have a fever, then I'm shaking with chills, and I can't even get up.  Desert Dawg had her head on my chest making sure that I was still alive.  I have been away from work for a month.  Those people are going to think I'm not faking it if I don't make an appearance.  So, I go into work the next day... and I can't make it through the day.  I go to the doctor, "You have a virus.  Take some Banadol and sleep."  So I did.  48 hours later, I have no food in my refrigerator, I feel like crap and hey... wait a minute... where are my friends?  Whutup?

I feel better after the weekend of sleep and go back to work.  Then, I suddenly can't hear out of my left ear.  Feels like cabin pressure at 30,000 feet.  It hurts to talk on the phone because everything is amplified in a weird way.  Go back to the same clinic to an ENT who asks me, "Did you have a flu or a virus?  What did they give you?"  Well, Banadol, of course!  "You have a middle ear infection.  Take these antibiotics."  Crap. 

So I've been sick for what feels like forever and hey... wait a minute...

I've been accused of being "in a bad mood."  Phuckyeah I'm in a bad mood.  If you couldn't hear and your head feels like its in a vice and you've been sick for a few weeks and people don't stop by or call to see how you are - wouldn't YOU be in a bad mood?  I'm downright bitcheh.

I've been offered "health massages" by the WRONG STUFF.  What I really need is some pampering of a completely non-sexual manner, cause this is ridiculous.  Where is the compassion?  Dayum.

Ooooo Saaaaaaaaa..... a few more weeks and I'll be back in the States again.  Back with the fam. I'll probably wear a gas mask on the plane.