Sunday, February 20, 2005

BMC-ing Desert-Girl Style

My friend, GF, reminded me today of something that I have wanted to bitch about on my blog: sales people with personal space issues. As in - sales people who follow you around the store, right on your heels, invading your personal space, and pretending that they are there to "help" you. I want to smack ALL of them. What I do is this: I wait until they are REALLY close behind me and then I pull a quick stop and turn at them like I am going to walk into them, and quickly walk around them going the other way. If they continue to follow me, I continue to do it. It is most unnerving - not only for the sales people, but for your friends who have gone shopping with you. I scared the bejezus out of my Irish girlfriend once - and then she burst out laughing.

Last night, I was in the Sultan Center in Salwa - which is WAY too small (Ayman, if you are out there, get on the ball, dude!) I have more on the subject of the Sultan Center, but later.... Anyhoo, there I was, standing in line with about a million other people at the 3 or 4 little counters. There was a Kuwaiti man behind me with 1 single, lonely carton of cigarettes. He had no where to go, so he cut in front of a Briddish woman and her friend - who proceeded to shout at him, embarrass him, and giggle at him like high school girls. Then, the Briddish-Colonialist-Imperialist woman turns to her friend and says (very loudly), "Oh, this is nothing, you should have seen them in Africa - they just push you out of the way!" She didn't hear me when I said, "Why don't you take the time to learn something about this culture?" (Meanwhile, I flung death rays at her from out of my eyes.) She totally embarrassed the guy in front of all the shoppers. (Too bad it couldn't have happened at a jamiya in someplace like Ferdous.) Now, I know he shouldn't have cut the line without saying something, but that really was not called for.

At the same time, a 4-5 year old kid sat in a cart, screaming its lungs out and the nanny and mother seemed to think it was very cute (they were foreign too, but don't know from where). On my way out in my car, they walked past me with their cart (and kid still screaming), and I got up close and yelled as loud as I could, "SHUUUUUUUT UUUUUP!" tee hee.

PMS? Perhaps. Shut up. Where is my chocolate and pringles?

Ok, why is it that Sultan Center doesn't have my dog's favorite food - The One? Why can't they be consistent on their stocks? Don't they know that my dog gets terrible gas if she changes food? Why is it that Sultan Center parking lots are so small? Why can't they build multiple-story car garages or build OVER their existing stores? Aren't they making enough money to do that? At least they don't have sales people who follow you around like frowning puppies. No, but their maintenance people try to run you down with sweepers and you can't get out of their way fast enough. And why do TSC staff members constantly dive in front of you throughout the Salmiya store? Is it a game? Dodge-a-customer? Or bat-(with a sweeper)-and-dodge? They do have valet parking now, however. I shouldn't be too critical. Lazy girl benefits are always good.

Speed bumps/humps: Here is what my totally-funny friend, GF, says about them, "I call it this country's love affair with speed bumps, their obssessive compulsive behavior with speed bumps. We have to go over 6 or 7 before we even get out of our town and that is just a few blocks, YEAH !!and what is their inexplicable fear of turning left in this catbox??? " Well G, let me tell you - somebody is getting paid BIG TIME for all those speed bumps. There is some guy out there somewhere who is in the bump construction business and he is laughing his ass off at us. Why don't they put speed bumps in the emergency lanes? (Better yet, why don't they just use the obnoxious sales people?)

I was with a cab driver in DC once (funny Iranian guy), who used to honk his horn every time he went over a speed bump. When I asked him why, he told me that the rich people had a plan/conspiracy to keep people from speeding, but that it was damaging his car, so he honked in protest - no matter what time of the day or night.

The largest speed bumps that I have come across are the VERY large speed bumps recently erected (I meant to use that word) outside of a certain house along the Gulf Road between the intersection of 30/6th Ring road and the SAS....


Ms.Baker said...

You are hilarious amerab! I loved perusing through your blog. And you are right about TSC. They NEVER keep things stocked regularly. What I do-especially *WHEN* they get frozen Lean Cuisine ravioli dinners- is STOCK UP. I used to buy tons of a specific cat food for my persian cat, who would eat nothing else. Oh, MAKE SURE you check the expiration dates on the expensive italian mozzarella cheeses before you buy!
What I do with the hovering sales people ( who drive me insane also) is say as elegantly yet as firmly as I can: "Thank you, I will call you IF I need anything".

The Don ® said...

OK D !! This is better than standup comedy.. LOLOL I’m glad I’m home when I read this.. My familia already know I’m a hoot !! So I can laugh as loud as I want, unlike work :P

And yelling "SHUUUUUUUT UUUUUP!!!!!!!!!!!!" I know you Di’ int gurl !!

BTW how is MA ??
-->CliCk mE<--

Jewaira said...

I hate that with sales people too. I do the sudden turn around as well as lead them around the shop in circles.

Desert Girl said...

Thank you all for your nice comments. (Or, since I'm supposedly Texan now - thanks all y'alls! LOL)

MrsBaker - I have found that the sales people don't understand if you are polite to them. TSC has its problems. I am going to write about their DISAdvantage card next... Let me just say that it is NOT fun to sleep in the same room with ANY dog that has a gas problem. I'm going to have to start having the dogfood shipped (or wear a gas mask!).

Don - really, am I that funny? I write this stuff that sounds perfectly normal to me, but then other people find it hilarious. What I need to know is: are you laughing with me or at me??? :) Love you, Don.

Jewaira - I think next I will get one of those horns that they have for soccer events (the kind in a can) and whenever they get to close, blow it, then point to the wall and say, "Smile at the camera! You've just been taped for our show."

The Don ® said...

with you gurl.. with you all the way.. :*