Monday, September 21, 2009

All I got for Eid was Drama!

Sometimes you just have those kinds of holidays. Mine has been poopy so far.

Friend Drama #1

The first thing that happened to me since Eid started was that I had a falling out with The Romanian. I’ve been friends with her for how long?.... 11 years. Some people have a problem with communication; they don’t just come out and say things when they have a problem. I believe in discuss, resolve, move on. I wonder if she doesn’t share this philosophy; I wonder if it could be cultural, coming from a former communist country; or is it just a personality issue? The Romanian chooses to ignore me. “I’m in a bad mood.” Is the only clue I get that there is something wrong. So, this is the millionth time it has happened and I have to make a determination if this is a real friend or not. I’m thinking the later.

I have done waaaaaay too much for her over the years and put up with waaaaaaay too much in the way of betrayal to keep up. It’s draining and I don’t believe I deserve it when weighing the balance of how well I have treated her. All of a sudden, I have come to the realization (not just based on the above, but more) that maybe she doesn’t like me very much. When you are faced with that knowledge – after befriending someone for so long – it is very hurtful.

On the Flip: Good Thing That Happened

My friend, T, called me and invited me to dinner that night at Gaucho. We had a really great time and I got to see my brother-from-another-mother, Desmond. It was all smiles and warm and fuzzy. The Man even knew I was feeling bad and he showed up to cheer me up. Thank you, God, for sending me your Angels every day! I always try to count my blessings.

Friend Drama #2

I have a very elegant friend (I’ll call her “Diana”) who invited me for the first time to her family’s chalet. I had a splitting headache yesterday but decided to drive down to (close to) Julai’a anyways just because I adore this woman so much.

It is beautiful and enormous; everything is in colors of light yellow and blue. It is the only chalet I’ve ever been in with an elevator. The table seats 16. There were all kinds of food in about 6 huge containers. I’ve had waaaay too much rice lately, but couldn’t help chowing down on mrubian because it was so good. The deserts were also AMAAAAAZING. (They said they came from a bakery, Caramel?, right next to “Soya Sauce” across from TGI Fridays. I’m going to have to go there and get more of the pumpkin cake. Yummm.)

Diana invited another girl who I know and like very much. She’s (I’ll call her “Ash”) a professional woman with a similar job to mine in management and very polite – like my friend. I like being around her. She always smiles and laughs and has something interesting to say.

And then, there was Diana’s cousin. I thought it was kind of strange the way she came in and ignored me. Her son – around 4 years old – only spoke English, so it was obvious that she did also (just not to me). The three women made polite conversation for a few hours and then things started to change.

Diana doesn’t like vulgar talk or foul language (I’ve never heard her utter a bad word) and both were easily flowing from her cousin. Diana tried under her breath several times to stop her cousin, but she continued. I don’t know if the cousin has a problem with Americans, but she just seemed to be on the attack. I couldn’t really defend myself because I was a first-time guest. First, it was asking me questions like do I like sex followed by “Americans are no good in bed”. (Have you heard this? I’ve heard it over and over again from Middle Eastern people – most of whom have had limited sexual experience of any kind. Can’t you find something else to say that doesn’t make you sound so ignorant and low-class?) Of course the first thing that leapt to my mind (although I couldn’t say it) was, ‘How many Americans have you slept with?’ (Seriously, if you know me, you would know how difficult it is for me to shut up and bite my tongue; not to come back with some quick and cutting remark. I respect my friend so much that I just couldn’t. I also come from a family whose manners simply wouldn’t allow it.) Then, she saw an actress on TV and said, “Look – she’s the only blonde I’ve ever seen who is pretty.” WTF?! I was seated about 2’ away from her at the time. She went on and on asking me about my personal life and do I have a boyfriend and she has a man with a large (one) if I needed him…. I tried to remain neutral on all things, ‘maybe’ and ‘sometimes’. The biotch had the nerve to say, “What kind of a weak personality to you have?! Do you ever answer any questions differently than maybe?” This all followed by a discussion about ME in Arabic with Diana right in front of me.

No wonder Diana has such an air of sadness. “When you have friends like that, who needs enemies?”

I thanked my friend for a wonderful evening and left. Not to be vulgar or use foul language, but Phuck that. (I can say it here. DG is my alter-ego and I can say things that I wouldn’t say in polite – or other as the case may be – company.)

I called The Man for the 2nd time this weekend in tears. He has his own drama but was very defensive and was proud of me for not ripping her eyes out of their sockets and force-feeding them to her.

I took an additional 3 days off this week so I wouldn’t have to see The Evil One at work and maybe get some relaxation in before I have to face more of him. This time off is proving to be equally if not more stressful.

On the Flip: Good Thing

Desert Dawg is always happy to see me. She is full of joy and I’m going to spend a lot more time with her and the stray cats, Paint and Petunia.

I only have about a week until I go to the US on business also. I can't wait to see my family! Yippeeee.

This is my 500th post! Hard to believe I have been complaining this long! Wow.


Anonymous said...

How rude is that? Her cousin aggressively attempts to antagonize you? I am amazed (and delighted) at your restraint. I am guessing your friend was mortified that it was happening and didn't know how to muzzle her cousin.

Well done, DG, you escaped with your dignity and sense of outrage intact. Your good manners put her to shame.

Desert Girl said...

Thank you intlxpatr. I'm proud of me too. ... a sheikha no less! Shame on her.

Anonymous said...

Here. You can have part of my Ritter Chocolate/Butterbiscut. You must be impressive for someone meet you and try tearing you down to their self esteem level...

Desert Girl said...

Thanks anonymous. That was sweet - and not just the biscuit! :)

Anonymous said...

Did Diana ever call you to check on you?

Desert Girl said...

Anonymous 3:26: Nope. Hmmmmmmm. Kinda hinky.

Anonymous said...

Its Anon 3:26 again... I am sorry that she didn't. As sweet and classy as she sounded, this is truly disappointing. Heads up. It's good to know who you are dealing with. Better late than never. Semper Fi.

Unknown said...

Hi DG, following your posts from England :)
As for drama 1, well, you didn't mention much details, for me, friendship is a religion, you don't just let your friend go after 11 years, the only excuse is betrayal, if it comes from a friend. I also beleive in discussion, so why don't you take the whole issue to hear over a cup of coffee and tell her that "I feel you don't like me"
BUT!!! you say you've done A LOT for her over the years, just the fact that you still remember those things, means she's an acquintance not a friend, you forget what you do to your friends, but you never forget what they did to you, and that works only for friends.
As for drama 2, well, your friend was sitting there, witnessing all that haurassment, but she did nothing and said nothing, I don't see why didn't you say something to that pich to shut her up? I know I would, I don't have that "Nirvana" and I believe if you would've gave her one of those sarcasting sharp comments at the first moment, you'd have saved your evening; not that I'm less proud of you than intlxpatr
Sorry your holiday was ruined, wish the rest of it was better

Unknown said...

by the way, happy 500th blog anniversary
This is the ONLY blog I read

abolesanzalef said...

Good morning, afternon, evening..whever you are , i send you my greetings...thanks too much Dg for that great sharing of your blog.. and hope you reached the thousands too....
- I think reading your blog with the begining of every morning as newspaper look like my daily routine.even if i did not share with my thank you too much...Anyway..Eid Mubarak to you and all your family...Keep in touch.

Anonymous said...

Dear DG,
Happy 500th post.
You mentioned Diana as a classy individual who does not like vulgarity. However, I wonder if that is a disguise to her actual personality. I don't know if a person with class would tolerate someone to tear her guest apart with inappropriate comments, and not utter a word. Plus, she should have at least shown enough class to call you and apologize for her B--- of a cousin.
On that note, I think the cousin's significant other likes sleeping with American Girls; instilling in her a sense of sexual inferiority, which prompted her to attack the first blonde person next to her.
Or she is simply just a b----.
Anyhow, I'm very proud of the way you handled yourself. I believe your friend and her cousin should have learned from you what it means to really have class, not just act like they have class. You don't need negative people in your circle of friends.

Desert Girl said...

Anonymous 5:45 - Slaps.... is that you? :)

Thank you (whoever you are) for the kind and heart-felt words. I think you are 100% correct. Life is too short to be in the company of emotional vampires.

Thank you so much for thinking of me!

Anonymous said...

DG, I think this girl has a problem with American girls..that's rather obvious. Maybe her husband came over to the US to study and that's why she makes all of her remarks. I am quite frankly shocked that a woman would speak like like this in public especially in an Gulf country...just saying. You should be commended for keeping you cool because I am unsure I would be able to. Thanks for showing what everyday life is like in Kuwait.