Thursday, October 23, 2008

Who's Down with OPP?

I went to another fortune teller (cups, cards). FREAKY real; she gave exact names and described situations.

Having said all that, she didn’t try to sell me this, but I think she may have hoodwinked Sheikha Minor into buying an animal part; supposedly supposed to attract love, money, and good fortune. Somebody tried to sell me a crystal 3 years ago for KD 200 ("from the desert in Morocco") and I bought one in the US instead for $5. I’m blonde, but I’m not stupid. (And just for those of you who THINK that a smart blonde is a fabled creature – NOT SO.)

I do NOT believe in buying animal parts for any reason (ok, except to eat, but this being what it was - let's not even go there...LITERALLY) – but especially for superstition or magic purposes. That is how tigers are becoming extinct, for one thing. That is also black magic: whatever you do returns to you threefold. Bad bad bad. For example, birch bark kept under your matress on the side where you sleep is supposed to reveal the truth through dreams. If you take anything from something living (even if it just fell off the tree), you are supposed to ask it first. So killing is baaaaaad.

This did, however, provoke considerable preponderance on my part:

What IS the particular animal part you may ask: The dried vagina of an animal ("thaaba" - fox?) that lives in the mountains of Kazakhstan. (No, I’m not making this up.) And the price: KD 800!

I’m pretty sure that I couldn’t get 800 for MINE and it isn’t even dried (…. yet). I’m pretty sure that most of my friends couldn’t get 800 for theirs either – whether it be for sale or for rent. Maybe there are those who would pay KD 800 (around $3,000 US) to say… a celebrity dried private or maybe a politician’s dried private…. But an animal? That lives in the mountains? Of Kazakhstan? What were they thinking?

Why buy a dried private when you can take the money and buy a used Corolla mithilin?

If this is true - why wasn't it in Borat?

One of my friends wrote to say that his sister said that it is some kind of bovine vagina. Huh? This thing was pretty small (about 2.5" long). I would think bovine P would be larger (never seen one, I'm just hypothesizing).

They made me touch it. I do believe that is the first time I've ever touched OPP before. Does that make me a lesbian? I'm feeling rather faint....

Hey, I ask ya… would you pay KD 800 for a dried “p”?


Who's down with OPP? NO, NO Not Me!

OPP update

Ok, so after further investigation, from what I am able to ascertain, it was the P of a Corsac fox (vulpes corsac) - which is actually a threatened species as it is hunted for its fur (often by use of Kazakhs hunting with golden eagles - freaky!). So, I'm guessin this fox is thinking, "Yo! Who stole my P.."

There are 15 endangered fox species.
Foxes mate for life (unlike HUMANS who need to buy fox Ps for 800 KD in some vain attempt to snag their mates)

7 comments:

Christina said...

LOL! Did you say "It isn't even dry"?? That's hilarious!

Made of Gold, dipped in chocolate and lined with diamonds, I'd still only pay between the range of 250-300ishhhhh KD. I'm selective!

Anonymous said...

I heard about dried fruits, dried nuts and they go pretty cheap, now dried "p"!! for $3Gs?

Do we at least get to use it?

vinz-Q8 said...

DG,i had once seen an Indian salesman convincing some customers in a Jewelery shop at Souk Al-Watiya to buy an ornament made with tiger claws & gold.They went for a bargain & sold it to an Egyptian for KD 750/-.

The salesman claimed that these claws would ward off spirit-attacks.
Here's a similar pic of how it looked like http://www.historicnewengland.org/JewelryHistory/images/1928_147_150_lg.gif

Nomad said...

lol that was an interesting story :p
and to answer that question i'd have to say no...
i mean why pay 800kd when you can get better for free :p

Jewaira said...

Gullible. Fools everywhere.

Hilarious post though

jaywunda said...

lol...
now i have heard it all... fox pu***!!! 800KD.

Naimesh said...

HUH!!! what the f***....

I have heard of all kinds of things, but this is hilarious....

If you bluffed... hats off to your imagination... and if this is true... OMG!!!! :)