Sunday, March 02, 2014

DG Responds!

I would like to respond to some of the fassssssssssscinating hate mail that I've received lately (in a funny way because it has all been so hilarious that I think I should).  Let's break it down:

"You're desperate and no one is ever going to want you."
Subjective.  Desperate about what exactly?  I have everything I need.  Mashallah.  I write about lots of things - inconsequential relationshit type stuff tops my list because I love to over-analyze interpersonal stuff. It is a pass-time.  I over-analyze; I buy shoes; I  over-analyze some more; I buy some more shoes....  Some people read.  Some people study.  I over-analyze and buy shoes (oh, and these days, I clean up puppy pee).  
As far as "no one is ever going to want you" - I don't know how to answer that without sounding reeeeeeeeeeeally egotistical, arrogant, and downright conceited.   Shall I provide references of those who do/did want me?  In what format?  Access DB?  Excel spreadsheet?   I know I'm blessed (Thank you, God!)  If I wrote about the perfect/hot/super-nice guys I know, there wouldn't be anything to write about.  This is all about the drama, people.

The desperate statement always makes me believe I am dealing with someone sad who is projecting.  Or someone who I've really upset and knows me personally (and yeah, there are a few and one in particular with some troubling mental challenges.  2484-3900, honey!   Call now.  Operators are standing by!)

"Your Camaro defines you."
This one (not exact verbiage, but something similar) was left on Mark's blog and I kind of like it because I've always thought of people who drive muscle cars like mine to be the penile-challenged (ok, I secretly still think this about Mustang drivers, but I'm trying to change my ways).   But hey - I never had a penis to begin with so what to do?  Should my car define me, then I'm somewhere between the Mercedes I drive in the US and a Camaro.  Does the car make you a better or worse person?  Does your watch define you?  Shoes?  A designer bag?  Define me by panties,  if at all (now THAR ya go!)

I will respond to this one like this:  I had a choice of cars that took me years to solidify into an actual purchase.  I love the Camaro. Unlike most of the cars I looked at, the Camaro made my heart go pitty-patter. (And I drove a few Mustangs too BTW.)  The Camaro makes me happy (Mashallah).  When I got behind the wheel, I felt invigorated (or wait... was that just a hot flash??).  The Mercedes is pretty and elegant, but it doesn't give me the same rush I get with that Camaro engine.  Define away.  Je ne giveashit pas.

And I'm not out to prove that I do have a penis by racing you, either.  (Yawn.)

I thought that the misogynistic stereotypes of  what a woman "should" drive went out decades ago.  I guess there are still some throw-backs out there.

"Who wants an old lady who is going through menopause?"
Ok... emm how do I respond to that?  I can say (truthfully) that I'm not going through it;  although my volatile mood swings and hot flashes started when I was 14, so I really don't know.   And who cares??  My "change of life" came when I moved to Kuwait (I've you've moved here, male or female, you too have had your "change of life":  Kuwait:  It's different!) - and it did too involve hot flashes because it is FRICKIN HOT in this country.  Lots of the men in my office get hot flashes and quite a few are really moody;  are they going through menopause?  Hmmmm.

It is quite a revealing statement about the person who would say it:  Que misogynistic!  I've never heard a woman (or girl)  say to a man (as an insult), "Who wants an old man who has erectile dysfunction?" and yet the menopause card is tossed around frequently and freely.  Are they woman-haters to that extent?

"Old lady" is really a subjective statement.  I guess if you're 12,  everyone is older than you, right?  Et perhaps your youthful vocabulary is such that you can't come up with alternative words to cause what you interpret to be emotional damage, perhaps "old lady" is a phrase you might use.  Dunno.  So creative.  They must work in advertising, me thinks.

"You're a racist."
(This spoken by someone I have actually helped through this blog.)   I'm sorry if I offended anyone through any comment I have ever made and I am sure that it was never intentional.  I've been in Kuwait for almost 18 years.  Kuwait is a melting pot of cultures, religions, and backgrounds (and so is the DC area where I come from).  If I were truly a racist, I wouldn't have spent as much time as I have with so many friends from so many different places and walks of life.  I don't use racial slurs.  They (directed towards anyone) insult me.  My mother didn't raise me to be a racist.  She raised me to be a decent person who doesn't see all those peripheral things:  look into the soul to see who the person is.  The soul is what I believe defines a person.

"Go back to your country."
(Picking food from between my teeth while yawning.)  Honestly, hasn't this been said enough?  (Snooze.)  Self-explanatory, really. Lacking in creativity.  Yes yes, I'm a F foreigner and I do go back to my country.  Frequently.  And then I come back here.  And then I go back.  And then I come back here.  Wait... what was the point?  Oh, "go back to  your country."  I get it.

In Summary
There are other nasty common comments, but these are the most common/most recent that I receive.  I don't publish them.  I occasionally respond to them.  In short, these people's approval means EVERYTHING to me.  Yeah.  That's right.  It does.  Live for it, really.  Crave the approval of strangers.  Yup.  (And yes, Expat, you're totally right - it all helps my stats!)

It must be a heavy weight to carry around so much hostility and anger and then to unleash it on a stranger - anonymously.  How bad must  you feel in life to go around setting out to intentionally hurt others?  I can't judge what is going on in other people's heads.  Maybe they're going through horrible things in their life.  Maybe they have been raised to be that way and don't know any better.  Maybe they have no religion or faith.  It is hard to say.  Bless their hearts.

Like my mother says, if you are going to put your stuff out here on the internet for everyone to see, you're going to have to expect some people to hate you.  I guess it is to be expected.  She says you're a nobody until you get a death threat (seems like a lot of bloggers in the US get those, but if it happened in Kuwait they would probably be tracked down and arrested).  

I sincerely believe there are a lot more people who care and are compassionate, decent people. I get a lot of very nice mail from those types and I'm thankful that it tips the balance.  Mashallah.  Thank you, God.

What goes around, comes around: Live life with no regrets my friends and take the high road.

Peace (oh wait... is that an old lady saying?  Dayum.)


Expat and the City said...

Let me just quote the movie Friday and say: "F dem MF's!"

I usually ignore or give one smartass reply back and then move on. They're not worth it! Which I'm sure you already know. Many are losers that just crawled out of a hole. The more popular your blog is the more jealousy you will attract. Just look at it as higher stats.

I love you, your blog and look forward to your posts. I understand how it feels because E&TC gets its fair share of hateful comments and emails.

I tried to help this Irish girl out once through the blog who was dating a player / total loser. She took my advice and then told him where she got it from. Loser guy then sends an email threatening my life. That was scary! He wasn't very smart since I was able to get his name, place of employment and photo with one click of a mouse button.

One funny email came from a reader that worked with another American blogger in Kuwait. She wrote me that the blogger was her coworker and that she saw that we were "blogger friends" but that in reality she would trash talk and make fun of E&TC at work every night. Damn that was funny!

<3 you DG! :*

Anonymous said...

Oh you're not desperate. Here is an example for your readers in today's paper that protrays one desperate middle-aged blond woman.

Rob said...

I've always felt very sorry for the kind of people that take time out of their day to actively try and hurt somebody else's feelings. Like, what has happened in their life to make them so bitter / angry / resentful?

DG, you've got plenty of silent readers that love reading your blog; don't let the loudmouth assclowns get you down!

Chirp said...

I love your blog and I think you are great, no matter what you do you will get hate mail, so learn to ignore them and live your life.

I have been a fan of your blog for years now.

About the old woman menopause thing, I have noticed that many women age better than men, especially in Kuwait.

And If you do go back to your country please take me back with you, at least for month.

Anonymous said...

I love you, I enjoy reading your articles, and for sure I'm not the only one... Fu@%* Haters! PS: LMAO on your replies!
DG, you rock! God bless.

AG said...

You're absolutely right that a lot more people are caring, compassionate, and genuine as compared to those who hate.

You're a good person with a great blog. You are honest, and real. People are going to envy you.

Desperate? Old? Menopausal? Seriously? Definitely a jealous woman. You're gorgeous, full of life, and who the hell wouldn't be a bit moody putting up with Kuwait traffic?

Keep on being fabulous and let them keep on wishing they were.