Thanks, Dr. Naif, for once again providing interesting and thought-provoking perspective.
View in Arabic
Parents who fail to discipline their
offspring properly are creating a generation of angry children who lash out in
the classroom. Pupils are twice as likely to be aggressive and disruptive if
they had parents who were violent, critical or inconsistent in what they
allowed them to get away with at home. In contrast, children tended to be
better behaved if their parents combined warmth with clear and consistent rules
and boundaries.
But what if your government is acting like
your parent? What if your government provides everything? Your income, your
housing, your allowances (which they actually call an allowance), your
healthcare, your education and is inconsistent in its rules and boundaries? Can
that cause a violent and conflict ridden culture?
Last December, a young Lebanese dentist
mothered by a Kuwaiti woman got into a parking dispute at the Avenues mall in
Kuwait. One of the people he got into a dispute with walked into Carrefour
bought a knife and butchered the young dentist to death. This was the beginning
of a trend that has led to multiple knife fights and deaths throughout Kuwait
over the last year.
Two months later getting into a movie
theater in Kuwait became a little like boarding a flight. Rules to do with age
restrictions on movies became implementable with Government issued IDs. Let
there be no mistake. The Parent when it came to Parental Guidance is now the
government. Someone dug up newspaper headlines from the 1980s linking violence
on television to violence in reality and decided to implement them 40 years
later. And in fact there is research to suggest that 9 year-old boys who watch
violent TV are more prone to violence at 19. But that is besides the point and
worth of a lengthier discussion and debate.
The government went from a non-enforced law
to an over enforced law, from one extreme to the other.
Example 2: The number of citations issued
in Kuwait against women driving with veils on their face (niqabs or burqas) has
been steadily falling, the latest figures from the Central Statistics
Department (CSD) indicate.
While their number was 2,351 in 2005, it
steadily went down to 529 in 2006, 180 in 2007, 102 in 2008 and 19 in 2009, Al
Watan daily reported. Kuwait bans women wearing niqabs or burqas from
driving.
The department did not explain the dramatic
downward trend, but the paper speculated that it could be attributed to fewer
veiled women sitting behind the steering wheel or to better compliance with
traffic rules. The reason could also be more leniency from traffic policemen
now getting used to seeing veiled women drivers, the paper said. Let me
tell you a secret. The numbers did not go down. The rule is unenforced.
Example 3: In 2011 airport management
started the smoking ban and it was publicized that violators that were caught
smoking at non-designated areas were directly sent to Jeleb Al Sheyokh police
station and received penalties. If they did implement that law, it lasted for
five minutes because the first thing you see when you come into Kuwait’s
airport is airport personnel smoking in defiance of the law that is literally
on placards on the wall.
In 2013, Kuwait instituted a public ban on
smoking in all public places including malls and restaurants but the first
thing you experience in any mall in Kuwait it the large level of smoking.
Perhaps the government is waiting for a
mall to burn down or a huge car accident cause by someone in a Niqab. Either
way having laws that are inconsistently enforced and that go from no
implementation to over implementation is the epitome of the type of bad
parenting that leads to aggression and conflict. Children whose parents are
violent, critical or send out mixed signals on where boundaries lie are twice
as likely to be aggressive or disruptive.
So how do we solve this problem in Kuwait?
The media does not only reflect reality.
The media can change reality. We have seen many cultural attitudes change
through the use of media, whether it is attitudes towards African Americans
after a successful run of the Cosby show in the United States of America, or
more recently in China by a television show called “The price of being a
victorious woman” that combats the stereotype of China’s “Shengnu” or “leftover
women” replacing it with the morale boosting “victorious women”, referring to
women in their mid to late 20s who have not married.
In fact even Kuwait has had success after
the invasion by using media to get people to seek psychological help making it
“ok”. As a young psychology trainee I can’t tell you the amount of people who
came through our doors in the early 1990s blaming the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait
for issues they have had since years prior. It really doesn’t matter what
brings them through the door as long as they come in before it’s too late.
I highly recommend that television shows
that are funded by the Ministry of Information and other entities in Kuwait
that are historically heavy on violence, tragedy and family breakups tilt more
towards a balanced approach. The focus should be on where society can go, not
where it is at, especially if where it is at is not flattering.
If the Ministry of Information wants to
censor, I would advise leaving the love in and taking out the violence. Or
better yet leave them both in for balance.
We don’t need to wait for a butchering in a
mall, or the airport burning down or a huge car accident cause by driving with
a Niqab to spring into action because when that happens we go from one extreme
to the next and this does not solve the underlying problem and only causes
violence in society.
If the government wants to be the P in a PG
movie and wants to parent, I highly recommend stable enforceable rules and
consistent implementation because going from one extreme to the other just
doesn’t work and causes conflict and violence. Either ban smoking or make
smoking legal. Either ban Niqab driving or make Niqab driving legal. Do not
make it illegal and then not enforce the law. That causes a violent society.
And we are going from bad to worse.
And maybe when our rules are consistent,
and our laws are enforced and our society less violent, maybe, just maybe the
World Economic Forum’s rating of the world’s friendliest nations will no longer
have Kuwait as the 4th unfriendliest country in the world.
One can only hope.
_______
Naif Al-Mutawa is a Kuwait-born, U.S. educated psychologist who
created “THE 99,” a comic book about a group of superheroes based on Islamic
archetypes.
1 comment:
A few weeks ago there was one of those l'earner drivers' going around the round a bout and inside the driver and the teacher were both women With nikabs on. Almost as shocking as seeing the driver of a gas tanker smoking a cigarette while he was driving. Or when there is gun fire outside, if you call the police they want to know the EXACT location of the shooting before faking an attempt to check it out. Oh yeah and the new thing in the hospitals are the green cards people are sprinting down the hallways with. These cards are for the handicapped and it gets them in the front of the line. My husband was at the hospital the other day and a woman was waving this card announcing her presence, she of course was perfectly able bodied and actually went in front of the old man in the wheelchair. We have seen several people with this card and not one single one of them is disabled.I think it's hopeless here, i really do.
Gail
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