Friday, February 03, 2012

Are you doing what you love?

I've mentioned this in previous posts, but I buy self-help books.  Most, I never read; or I skim through and scoff at other people's problems.  I find it a way to make myself feel better about my own life.

Every once in a while, I'll come across a book that I really like.

I had a friend who seemed to be complaining about just about everything in her life; how hard her job was; what a huge responsibility it all is.  I made a snap judgement call and thought to me, 'OMG, look at all she has and she isn't counting her blessings.'   She thanks God in prayers all the time and I'm sure that she really does count her blessings in ways that I don't know/see.  Let her vent.

I have one of those faces.  People tell me things about themselves without even realizing it.  I complained about that to a spiritual-minded guy one time and he looked at me and said, "That is a gift.  You should be happy that people want to confide in you."  I totally looked at it from a different perspective after that.  And it is a blessing (although I have to admit when the rambling starts, I kind of shut off and unlike a psychiatrist - I do NOT take notes.  I hear a lot of, "Remember?  I told you that..."  Em, lots of times I don't.  Me sorry.  For several higher-up friends, my memory loss really is to their advantage.).

Anyhoo, about the same time I was judging my friend-with-it-all, I saw a book called, Count Your Blessings, The Healing Power of Gratitude and Love, by Dr. John F. Demartini.  I bought it because I thought maybe I should give it to my friend (judgmental me again).  The book turned that judgement right back at me.  I love this book.  I use it as a workbook of daily affirmations.

One message has come up several times:  Are  you doing what you love?  And if not, why not change that.  This is a conversation that Stella and I have had a lot recently.  People go into careers for the job, for the money; but do they really love what they are doing?

You know me by now.  You've read my posts.  I've had a lot of jobs to pay the bills.  Do I love my job?  In my current situation, I love the people.  I also love that when I do something right, I get praised for it (again goes back to the people because I have never worked for anyone I liked so much as Stella.  She's a true friend in every sense of the word.)  I like the legal aspect of my job - it sometimes becomes like finding hidden code and I'm tenacious when it comes to getting to the root of the matter.

But for me, it isn't about the job. I am still doing what I love.   I have been able to do what I love outside of the paycheck (and I believe that everyone needs to find their passion/hobby whatever.)   I'm an EFNJ personality, "The Giver."  So my hobby allows me to give.

NOTE:  I believe that everyone should take the Jung Typology Test (online at that link for free).  It is very good to determine team dynamics - how personality types can be used to work together.  I took it as part of a hostage negotiation course to see how our team would work together and it was fascinating.  Also fascinating because the instructors noted that women are often the best negotiators because we empathize with the victim and care less about the money and focus on the safe return.  The company who held this course EXCLUDED all the women who took it when they finally formed their team.  Anyhooo...

So, as a "Giver", I like to help people.  I have found a way to do that outside of my workplace:  Through this blog.  Even something as simple as putting someone's mind at ease about little things; something small that a newcomer to Kuwait is worried about, and being able to alleviate some of their concerns.  That makes me happy.  I don't have to know these people, and in all honesty, I don't ever meet or talk to 98% of the people who have asked me questions. (Sometimes I am well-intentioned and really mean to meet up, but I just don't get to it.)  Maybe some readers don't even ever write to me, but years later I hear, "Oh, you're Desert Girl.  Your blog was a huge help when I first moved here..."  I love that.    I don't get anything of material value from helping people (ergo the day job); but I get tremendous spiritual satisfaction.  I know - almost on a daily basis - that I have done something good.

Am I doing what I love?   Yup.

(Stella, just buy the Irish cottage if that is your dream.  Find one. Work for it.  Go for it.  You can go back there every now and then and plant another flower in your garden.   .....And for the love of God, woman, write to Richard Branson for the loan!).


Anonymous said...

what u wrote is very noble and very nice. thnxxxxxxxxxxxx

Linda said...

I am a newbie and recently contacted DG. She went out of her way to help me. Thank you so much DG, as you say we will probably never meet but your kindness will stay with me. Yesterday I was trying to get a my gas bottled refilled without any luck as I don't speak Arabic when a very kind man came over and told me to follow him in my car and he would take me there. People like this restore your faith and make the world a better place for us all.

Desert Girl said...

Thanks Linda. I'm glad I could help. there is nothing worse than having newbie worries about children and pets (and not necessarily in that order!).

I'm also glad that someone randomly helped you. Do you have a building guard (hariss)? He should get the gas for you for about half a KD. It's what they do - don't be shy to ask.