Ok, having said all that philosophical bullshit – I’m having a problem with my best friend (who isn’t my mom or my sister) of 11 years. A week ago, she just stopped talking to me and blamed it on my “tone of voice”. I snapped at her; I admit it. I was tired after 2 days of no sleep and Desert Dawg puking blood (and subsequent trips to vets in Shuwaikh and Ahmadi and back again for x-rays and blood tests, etc). I was worried because the same day, my beloved American Express had sent a notification that my card was being cancelled – due to no fault of my own (payments are always on time) – but due to the financial crisis. That alone was enough to make me cry. I was worried about the fact that the company I work for hadn’t paid salaries and were a full month late; I haven’t been paid since November because I took vacation pay early. So, I snapped at the person who is closest to me here. All of that is probably no excuse; I apologized profusely. I tried to call. She said, via SMS, that it wasn’t a problem; that she just “needs her space.” Oh no she di’int! That’s a guy thing!
The Desert Girl Philosophy on “Taking a Break” in Relationships is this: If your relationship needs to “take a break”, there is no going back. I don’t take breaks, because that means – to me – that the relationship isn’t strong enough to endure; to communicate; to work it out. It means just what it says; a break, a tear. It is broken. The minute that Ross and Rachel did it – it spelled disaster for how many seasons of their relationship?
First and foremost, if you have known ANYONE and spent almost every day seeing them or talking to them, you should be able to tell them how you feel – or something is basically wrong with the relationship to begin with. Who just dumps their friends? What kind of a person does that - especially when they obviously have several hard issues going on? Would someone who really cares about me ever do that? Does that mean that she was never a real friend? I think I have a right to be angry. Alas, anger is unhealthy. It starts phuckin with your chakras and then your wiring gets all messed up. I mustn’t do this!
Those who love me, I love.
I guess with all the other hooey I have going on, this was the worst. I’m blogging about it because I’m not going to talk about it. I don’t want to be one of those whiney people who runs around dwelling on a negative subject. But hey – I can blog and people can choose to read or not. Take a break. Ha ha.
So alas, I really am heartbroken. She is my best friend. Why would she do this? Of the small group of friends who I have discussed it with (4, to be exact), their advice is to “let it go”. I think my mother’s advice is the best: “I have found through my experience that people will never behave the way you expect them to. You can’t make them do the right thing.” True dat, Mommy. You can’t expect them to be kind or to talk about what is bothering them. You can’t expect them to be the kind of friend that you hope you are. It is still really really shitty when they disappoint you, though.
I haven’t even made it through a full month of 2009, and so far… well, lets turn that frown upside down and say that I really hope that 2009 will be a great year and that things will turn around.