Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Desert Girl Kuwait Dating Update

I haven't posted anything personal in a while because... well... too many of my close friends and associates know who I am and it is hard to tell a really good story these days.

I will throw out a few little tidbits.

I have taken a hiatus from dating.  I have become really tired of the goods ("the odds are good, but the goods are odd.")  I'm just not impressed anymore.  Well, let me rephrase that - no one has taken the effort to impress me.  Maybe I'm just wiser and more jaded.  I dunno.

Maybe the world has changed too much too fast.  I'm not into "hooking up."  I'm not into manboys who invite themselves to MY home.  If I do agree - even on a friendship basis - they come empty handed.  There's no honor, no etiquette.  No steps towards a healthy relationship.

The closest I've come to real dating (like dinners and a movie or other activities) lately is with real friends (great steaks, Bunny!) and that's it.  Plus romantic moonlit walks with my dog (who I actually prefer the company of these days...).

So on to the anecdotal Kuwait dating stories...

Bachelor #1.  Drop dead gorgeous.  I had seen him over the course of maybe a year and a half. I always thought he was married;  He has that air about him.  I never asked even though he knows many of my friends.  He finally made a move and on my birthday (well, the days following) invited me to his farm and bought me a birthday cake.  I really like the guy (to this day - wish things could be different).  But.... after a romantic evening of cake and farm (and NOT in the sitting area where cake should be served - nothing happened.  Cake served only.)  stopped calling and relinquished me to the friend zone.  Huh?  What was that all about?  Tried again when we both were in Dubai (separately) and the only time he could see me was after 1 am.  Uh... Hel-luuur.  There are plenty of Russian prostitutes in Dubai that are actually active at that time of night, but that does not apply to me.  I was at a comfortable hotel with a pillow menu.  I wasn't going anywhere.

Bachelor #2.  Long conversations first online and then over the phone.  I would prefer to get to know someone first before meeting. Saves time and trouble.  In this case, it was a wise choice. Invited himself to my house.  'Sorry but no.'  Told me that "when we are girlfriend and boyfriend, I insist to help you with expenses.  It is just the way I am."  I'm thinking, honorable, but not quite the stuff phone conversations are made of.  Plus - I don't need anyone's money and it makes me feel like someone else is trying to control me.  Awk-ward.  He insisted on coming over to meet me "just for 5 minutes." followed by, "The holy month is coming up and we won't be able to see each other very often."   What?!  Nuh uh. (Sounds like we are already IN a relationshit...)  Anyhooser, continued the conversations.  I offered to meet him somewhere for coffee or dinner.  "Sure.  When we are in Dubai or anywhere outside of Kuwait."  Oh.No.He.Di.Int.  So basically homeboy wants to keep me in the house (MY hosue), pay my rent, and not be seen in public with me.  He he.  Good one. If I wanted to be a kept woman I would never have worked to begin with.  Buh byyyyye.  (And I thought I was the girl in the relationship.)  If it is that way, please go ask mommy to find you a wife; more expensive, perhaps, but at least you can both go out in daylight together.

Bachelor #3.  Asked me for 120 KD to get his car fixed.  Ha ha. That's a good one.  Made pay-my-rent dude look semi-normal.

Bachelor #4.    Bachelor #4 and I were getting along ok, but for some reason, I decided to dump him and since my BFF who keeps all my dating notes was outside of Kuwait, I couldn't ask her what happened.  (If you ever piss me off,  you need to make friends with my BFF because I can't remember shit and she keeps track of all my dirt.  She usually reminds me because my memory is so bad).  Anyhooser, I couldn't remember what it was about him that made me so angry. I do remember we had a nice meal together... he had a nice car... Oh yeah... but there it was:  ARROGANCE.  He knows everything AND he doesn't like dogs (deal breaker.  Find your own way to the door!). Furthermore, I don't like people who think that I have no opinion on Kuwait.  Why talk trash about fellow Kuwaitis? "Bedouins are ruining this country.  Shiites are trying to take over.... Yada yada.  shutthefuckup!  Racism within a country that is the size of New Jersey.  Sigh.   Plus - he had been dating a friend of mine in the interim and went into detail about her and I can't tell her and feel bad about it.  Anyways, the ONE time I invite him over (and he arrives empty handed, of course!) he calls just prior to arrival and says, "Is your dog going to be there? (WTF of COURSE - he lives there!!!) Would you put him somewhere?"  How bout I put YOU somewhere?  (like on the curb.)

(If you're read down this far, just know that 1-5 didn't all happen in a matter of a month.  I'm spreading this out over the past year plus for effect, ok?).

Bachelor #5.  Nice dinner.  Smelled good.  A little on the small side for a man, but I am not as picky as I used to be.  Good job as a banker.  Very polite....  until..... Dick pic.  WHYYYY????  Another female blogger sums it up HERE and speaks very nicely for the masses who have been on the receiving end of such a "gift" as a wonder worm.  As she says, "...But let me make one thing clear: seeing a digitized image of your dork does about as much for me sexually as watching my cat vomit and then eat it."  I don't need to go into further detail.  Some girls get second dates;  Some girls get penis photos.  (Why are mild-mannered bankers always the freaky ones?!)

Speaking of bankers....

This didn't happen recently (maybe almost 2 years ago), but I will tell you the story anyways because it is funny.  Chairman of a Bank:  I've known dude for years and he always calls to say he's coming over because he "misses me" - code...  Ok whatever.  Don't judge.  It happens.  So, he would always come empty-handed.  I got sick of this.  Can we not have a meal together? WTF?!  Bring me one of those Mr. Baker trays or something.  A girl gets hungry.  So, I finally broke it to him that if he wanted to continue to see me, he needed to do something about that.  (What?  I didn't specify.)  So he shows up with a little bag - a gift.  I thought it was really sweet.... I waited until the next morning to open it.  And then I called him.  (Sans salutations)  'What the F is THIS?!  It's a corporate gift from Wataniya Airlines!  They don't even exist anymore!  What - did you have it in your desk at work and just decide to bring it to me?? You couldn't have brought sandwiches or maybe chocolate?!'  That was the end of that.

All walks of life.  Doesn't matter.  What ever happened to dinner and flowers?  My 21 year old nephew says that sending flowers to a girl is "gay."  My sister chimed in on that one and said, "Oh my God!  Where have you been?  They don't do that anymore!  They text!"  Yup.  That's what's happened.  Let me tell you, nephew:  Send even ONE girl that you really like some flowers with a note saying you would like to take her to dinner.  SEE what happens.  Do just a test with an inexpensive arrangement.  Watch and learn.

Sigh.  The new world sucks.  I used to get diamond earrings and stuff (thanks, Schmed - you know who you are!)

Ok so yes - I meet a lot of men; often through the dog groups that I frequent.  The problem with the dog guys is they respect me.  Because I am good friends with one of the group leaders.  El Chapo.   I have heard several times, "I can't approach her!  She is close friends with (Mr. X)...."  It's almost like I'm a mafia wife and the rest of the men won't even talk to me.  Mr. X (JUST a friend) would be thrilled to hear this, I'm sure!  I think it is kind of funny, but at the same time, not so cool because he's blockin my action.  "I respect you...."  Ok FINE.  Respect me AND....

Is there no middle ground?

And one more thing before I end my rant (therapy):  We can not be friends.  Friends are there for each other.  Can I call you if I need your help and will you come?  Be honest.  If I already know the answer to that question is "No" then we aren't friends; we are acquaintances.  I know who my friends are.  They are the ones that volunteer to take me to the doctor when I'm sick.  Or help me with car problems.  Or that call me or who I call (even if it has been months) to either check on each other or to seek support and advice.  Or just want to drop by to see me just because it has been too long.



Mr M. said...

we could be friends , I'm still waiting .

Anonymous said...

Lol.. Mr. Chairman's story cracked me up!!

Anonymous said...

Trying to contain my laughter in the office reading the Chairman's story!