Wednesday, May 04, 2016

Da Butt Post

I usually create titles like that to increase my page view stats.... But this time its for real. I wanna discuss butts in Kuwait.

Maybe I'm just not in tune with the rest of the world.  Maybe I don't watch enough music videos or YouTube clips.  I dunno.  I can only relate to my own back yard (get used to it, I'm going to pun the sh8T out of this post...).

Butts in Kuwait have become increasingly LARGE.  I'm not talking about your red-beans-and-rice kind of large butt; I'm talking about padonka-donk-plus-half-again size.  They big.  And they're out there.

I've had conversation with my "normal" female friends about this.  When the trend started, we just stared in disbelief.  'That can't be real. Is it?  Who would do that?  Why?' And then the realization set in...  it's happening.  Previously, the biggest butt I knew in Kuwait was Bu Teez.  I have had a hard time remembering his real name ever since he turned around and I realized that he had the largest backside I had ever seen.  It was like an Andersen window.  Maybe a bay window.

So, several years ago I'm at the beach with my half-neked group of sit-in-the-sea-all-day-drinking-and-peeing group.  I'm looking around and all the female types (they're not friends, they're not enemies, they're not acquaintances, they're not girls but not yet a woman, regardless of age) are hauling butt that is a whole lot bigger than it was the previous years.  (And I'm wondering where they bought the cute unikinis to go with the new looks.)  The butts are big, but they're tight for the most part - still "up North" where they should be.

I don't understand this particular form of body modification, but then I've never been really insecure about my parts to the point of asking someone to cut into me to change or rearrange them.  I figure love them or leave them. God gave it to me and bada bing. Ok, little nip/tucks here and there I agree with, but some of these procedures are completely changing the playing field (warned ya).

Since the several years ago and my pondering over why..... I've seen female types at parties, dancing like fertile monkeys in mating season.  I sh&t you not (and again).  It was like being at a weird strip club.  At least a dozen very large derrieres launched/hoisted into the air with heads to the floor; followed abruptly by a lot of bouncing around.  

Not much frightens me, but I had to leave; fearful of what might happen next; what might get burned into my memory.  The invitation was via  people I knew and (formerly) respected.  'Dude, your girlfriend is a ho.  Sorry, but you're like a brother and I tell it like it is.'

Is that what everybody wants now?  Has everything become so vulgar?  I don't get it.

Ok... back to the beach...

So this year (again, several years post-surgeries) the butts are back on the beach.  Only this time, all that fat injected in a target area of where it should be - has headed South; forming balls of travelling fat heading down their legs.  It looks like really, really bad cellulite.

As they were lathering up with baby oil and asking me why I am so white, I got all happy inside about my own circumstances (not that my butt is small, but average).   These are cute girl-women that are ruining their lives (cancer, deformities from cheap surgeries) and for what?  I would rather be a regular-looking old lady and skin-cancer free at 70/80.  I don't consider my butt an investment. And whatever their monkey-butts are attracting - they can keep!  The important part to any human is in the other region.


Anonymous said...

I too want a bigger butt, but I think I'll stick with squats and just hope for the best. ������

Sonia said...

haha i love reading ur posts.. Funny as hell..

gouseya shanaaz said...

Hahaa...its so happy would us, the homo sapiens sapiens, have been, had we been grateful to what Almighty has bestowed us with.