Oh no he di’int!

This is one of my very top peeves: When you have met someone socially; they know you; and then…. They have their SECRETARY call you on the phone. “Hi, this is Flana from XYZ. Mr. Bu Flan would like to speak to you. Can you please hold while I transfer the line?” (WTF!? Did Bu Flan have a FINGER accident and he can’t dial his own phone?) And to resume…”Oh, I’m sorry, Ms. Desert Girl, but Bu Flan just picked up another call…..” Oh nooooooooooo, he di’int! They can both call me back for the rest of the day. I’m not picking up – and I have caller ID in my office too. Funk dat!

Who did this to you, pray tell, Desert Girl…. The BANKER! Oh, I am so never answering his calls ever ever again. Dumbass. He (or she) called me about 12 times after (he must have gotten off the phone). I sent an SMS, ‘Sorry. In a very important meeting. Thanks for your call.’ BADA BING (Ok, admittedly, I am doing the same thing – giving false impressions – as he just did to me, but it was in response – I didn’t initiate it.)

I’m not impressed by the 'tude. I have a secretary (that is her official BS Kuwaiti-given title, BTW – I would prefer to call her an “Administrative Assistant”). Everybody I know has a secretary. BFD. Even my undersecretary/royal/ambassador friends don’t have their secretaries call me! I HATE POSERS! Who DOES that? It is so 1950’s! Plus, it gives me the immediate impression that he/she is technically-challenged and probably can't use e-mail either. My knee-jerk reaction once I hear there is a secretary on the line is to immediately hang up. My loser-sensors start making that obnoxious noise inside my head.

I don’t care how busy you are – if you want to talk to me, talk directly to me. I don’t need someone to run interference.

I used to work for a dumbass who, when interviewing candidates, would make them wait in the lobby for at least 30 minutes, just to give the impression that he was a very busy man. Little did he know, that I would run out there and tell poor-pathetic-candidates to be ready to spend at least 30 minutes waiting because he was in there playing pocket polo while they got the impression that he was important. (Yes, I’m evil and I get paid for it.) I don’t believe in wasting time and I do believe in transparency.

Most posers are quite transparent – including Bu Flan above.

You want to impress me, Mofo? Make and keep appointments - and on time. Be direct and honest. Personally, I don’t have time for the head games and have seen enough BS in my (very short) lifetime to know better.