Monday, April 27, 2009

Emotional Insecurity and Other Stuff

The Hamster and The Bunny

They were fine for the night of my birthday, but I gather that was just an act. Thursday night, the Hamster came over and accused the Bunny and I of "cheating". Um.... nooooo..... we were fixing my electric fuse, actually. Fully clothed - as one does when fixing electricity. So, they had words and they both left. Unbeknownst to me, they exchanged phone numbers, the Bunny called the Hamster, and apparently compared notes. Now both of them are being extremely rude.

Boys never grow up, do they? Neither one of them could be mature for a nanosecond. I find it really really really hard to believe what Bunny said to me (actually no one in my life has ever said those words to me), but alas (heavy sigh) nothing really surprises me in life anymore. Totally base. Perhaps they will have a great time together. Maybe they can create a support group.

Moments like this make me want to get on a plane. Maybe I will.

So boys, if you are going to stalk me properly, may I make a few recommendations:

  • Go through my trash. It is public domain and just make sure that you get there before 10:30 pm when the truck arrives. (You will probably be able to tell it is my trash because all I have eaten lately is the left-over Doritos and cake from my birthday.)
  • Call all my friends........ Oh no wait!!!! You're already doing that. Next point...
  • Hang around outside my work incase you might see me with another man.... maybe even one I work with!
  • Have your friends in the CID check to see where my car is.... oh no, wait again.... it is parked outside my house because I'm usually THERE.
  • Check all the other cars parked in the vacinity to see who they belong to. Let me help: Khalid, Hussein, Yousef, Nasser, Abdullah, Ali, Fahad, Farhan, Rakan, Talal, Ahmed, Mohammed, Mubarak, Nawaf, Jassem, Jamal, Adel, Bader, Adnan, Rashed, Aziz, Tariq, Waleed, Saud, Majid, Abdulrahman, Mishal, Bu Flan, Bu Zega.....
Je suis SOOOOOOOOOOOOO phuckin' not impressed! This only better helps me understand lesbians.

Now that I have the poop out of the way, let me concentrate on something that really makes me upset....

I can't believe that Bea Arthur is dead! I loved her! I liked both her - for her whit and sarchasm - and Rue McClanahan for being secure in her sexuality. I will miss knowing Bea is around.

I think that the Golden Girls had the right idea: There is nothing that can't be solved by cake and your good girlfriends.


Traveleer said...

I am disappointed that you did not include my name in the list of potential culprits :P.

no really come on don't be sad, them being jealous is a good sign. It means you are popular, loved, wanted, and a bunch of other rated-R words :)

Abdullah said...

LOL! Bu Zega made laugh.
sorry for how your friends are acting tough you deserve better then that.

Anonymous said...

The fact that they traded phone numbers and called each other to compare notes...maybe you should accuse them of "cheating" on you! ;) Bet that'd give them something more amusing to be all pissy about. hang in there...they never quite grow out of the jackass stage where emotions are concerned...

nyx said...

Smile; let it pass!

Thaary said...

If so far all the men you've met are jerks! then no offence .. You dont know any man! ;]