Being Unstable and Bitchy is All Part of My Mystique

‘Hello?’
“Hi. Is this Desert Girl?”
‘Yes. Who’s this?’
“This is The Universe. You should recognize my voice by now! I know you’ve been tired of me phuckin with you this year, but I got a little more for ya….”

It is to be expected. It’s gonna happen. No doubt about it. The Universe is just laughing its comedic ass off at the shenanigans it is pulling on me. And I’ve gotta hand it to the U. . . it’s got game.

No need to go into details. It was just another Weekend by Universe Phuckin With Me. I am just the BUTT of a big Universe joke - and I live with it.

Some good things I did this weekend – went to the new Sakura; which, by the way, has the BEST sushi in all of Kuwaitdom. I really liked the new décor. Very cool. I expect I’ll be back in there a lot (nothing new there).

I also went to Kout and watched the water dance (it did, however, make me have to pee 4 times. Actually… just thinking about it is making me have to pee). I love that fountain-- not because it makes me have to pee, but because it is so beautiful and mesmerizing and makes me forget for 6 nanoseconds that the Universe is still phuckin with me. I had some French onion soup at Paul with Slapperella and a new friend. Kout is awesome for hunting. I ran into a several people I knew at the new mall across the street also, Al-Manshar Mall. I like it there. Hope they open up more cool stores. It was very relaxing and pretty.

On Thursday night, I went to the incredibly disappointing Film Kuwait 06 with Slapperella. I had thought that it would be more like it was 2 years ago, when my friend, Naz had his short film shown. At that time, I enjoyed it because it showed young Kuwaiti talent and gave a little insight/perspective. This time, the show was put on at Shaab Cinema – which I thought was a great venue. Casper & Gambini provided free sandwiches and chips (yummy as usual) and a new company gave away fat-free cookies (which were excellent and now I’m sorry I can’t remember their name because I want more). The show started off ok with a short film from Australia (winner of the somethingsomething short film festival somewhere). It was cute and good and I there is one quote that I will remember: “A cigarette is like your mother’s nipple”. But then… there was a Lebanese short film about Lebanese weddings in the either 50’s or 60’s with an original piano score. It would have been outstanding – had it lasted only 10 minutes. But this thing went on for 25 with plinky-planky very loud piano music. Jeez. I don’t even watch my own family’s home movies for that long. Why the pluck would I want to watch someone else’s for that long? They lost approximately ¾ of the audience during the showing of that one (including ALL the hot dishtasha guys). Anyone who has lived in Kuwait for any amount of time knows that the general Kuwaiti audience has an attention span of a gnat (unless there is a car chase or someone is getting blown away). Lebanese ancient-history wedding film was followed by a semi-gruesome short film from Denmark about fisherman or something and that’s when they lost Slapperella and I. She didn’t even want to stay to grab free sandwiches (you’ll notice that I did). I was really disappointed; I wanted to see the Kuwaiti short movies.

And back to the quote, “a cigarette is like your mother’s nipple”: It will forever change the way I look at the men around here who smoke because it is soooooooooo true. They even get that look on their faces...

Speaking of infantile: Anyone who even THINKS of banking with Kuwait Finance House should have their head examined. Yes, I do resemble that remark. I have had an account there for TEN YEARS (yup, count it, people!) and I applied 3 weeks ago for a credit card (at a “service fee” of 200 kd per YEAR with no interest as a "benefit") and I STILL HAVEN’T RECEIVED IT.

· First of all, KFH, no one gives a shit what your internal procedures are: End users only care about the end product.
· 2) You are a coffee shop, not a bank. Does KFH even have a bank rating?
· 3) The people working at the bank are all very kind, but unless the “bank” actually PROVIDEs a service, no one cares how nice the employees are.

Kuwait Fffffffffffffffff*&%ing House: Why am I still banking with them? Well, my car lease is through them, so I have the account there. Also, since they asked my employer FOUR TIMES to provide a salary continuation letter and an agreement that my employer wouldn’t transfer my salary to any other bank without notifying KFH first, it puts me in the position of having to ask my employer to do additional personal work if I want to go somewhere else. The “bank” actually called someone in our HR department – instead of ME, their customer – to ask that something be changed in the letter. What the phuck – am I three years old and are they calling my parents??? Me = customer; call me direct. I don’t even know how many man-hours I have asked my employer’s HR department to put in working on my menial personal bullshit tasks. How could I possibly ask them to do more? Just because my “bank” is unprofessional, doesn’t mean that I should appear so. I hate this. How long does it take to get a credit card anywhere else? Days, right? In the US, you can do it over the phone. Why? Because credit card companies WANT you to spend their money so they can charge you. Why can’t Kuwait get with the rest of the world??????????????? Back assward third world country banking system!!!

I am still sick. Just doing menial tasks makes me very tired. I can’t breathe and my asthma is really getting to me. Why did somebody make asthma so hard to spell? I mean, it is even hard for spell check to find. All this complaining and bitching has made me tired again.