Monday, September 28, 2015

Why bother?

Zor, during the Super Moon.  The night of the lunar eclipse.  Warm, balmy temperatures.  No one around.  Peaceful, quiet.  Floating effortlessly in canal of clear sea water.  Little lights flickering in the distance.

There we were; just he and I.  Under the moonlight. No phones.  No friends.  Just talking about our future together.  Re-stating what we had talked about many times before.  Putting the logistics together.  Planning.  Planning when to tell our families.  When we would look for a home,  etc... Holding hands all the way home in the car. Love texts at home to say goodnight.  Making more plans to see each other the next day.

..... Yeah.... I saw him.

I was driving BFF's car when he pulled through the gas station.  I know the car.  I've driven it 100 times before.  His license plate number is burned into my head. He didn't stop to get gas.  I called him and asked him, jokingly, what he was doing and/or who was driving his car.  He laughed and said that I must be crazy; that he was in another part of town in his (male) friend's car, going somewhere with "him".  I know the guy, so I said, "Oh, say hi to Ahmed for me."  He didn't.  Usually he does if the person is sitting next to him. Whatever.

Ok fine, so I drove BFF home and picked up my car to go back to my  house.  Dorothy was with me when I saw him about 10 miles away - in his car - with another woman.  Well, I couldn't tell if she was actually a woman or an under-aged thang, but it was definitely female. Possibly a McChicken.  Maybe she was a young thing and could only see him after school or before 9pm.

I couldn't pull through traffic fast enough and he must have seen me because he made a quick U-turn. I managed to follow.

I called him and asked him to pull over.  I passed him to get a better look and I was directly in front of him.  He slowed to a crawl. I told him that I wanted to trust him, so if she was just a friend, pull over and let me meet her.  He made another quick, evasive U-turn and told me (emphatically) to "go home."  (Really?  Do I ever do what I'm "told" to do?)  He was digging himself in deep and trying to flip it on me, "Why are you following me?!  I hate that.  I don't want this relationship!" I said, 'Why?  Because I just caught you with another woman in your car?'  and so I knew he was a cornered rat and we weren't going to get anywhere with it.

God loves me because He always reveals things like this to me.  Ironically, I hadn't seen his car on the road in maybe 8 months.  He must be an amateur serseree because a professional would have taken her to someplace like Fahaheel; not 5 minutes from my house.

2015 sucks

Ok so here is my question:  If you are a serseree lying no-good so-and-so, why talk about marriage?  It's not necessary.  I'm not a 20 year old, wide-eyed gullible girl who cares about all that.  There is nothing to gain.  He even told his OTT religious mother about it (yes I know it because I know his sisters).  Why bring your family into it?  If  you are a player, spin on, playerman, spin.  (But hey - thank you because you just saved me a shitload of money!)

What was my reaction?   I laughed and shook my head.  I mean - what can you do?  Anybody who is that pathological is sick and it is a blessing that it happened as fast as it did.  I took my dog for a walk.  Sweat it out a little bit.  Ate some lemon cookies and went to sleep (like a baby).  Dorothy and BFF didn't sleep last night. They were worried about me.  I had a feeling that they would take it harder than me.

...  Probably because they know all the horrible, awful, disgraceful, mean things that have happened to me this year and are most likely wondering when I'm going to erupt.    I'm not there quite yet.  At the same time, I would prefer, Dear Universe, that you might give me a break sometime soon?  That would be really nice.


AG said...

I too am hoping the universe gives you a break in the near future. You've really put up with a lot this year and overcome a number of challenges. On the bright side (if there is one), you're just that much stronger.

Perhaps this is yet another sign it's time to come home? Or, just a way to get this loser out of the way and make room for the right guy? Here's hoping.

As you said, why bring the family into it? Why play with everyone? Or, well, why play at all? The games and emotional turmoil were always so very exhausting. I truly hope this nonsense ends for you... SOON! <3

michelle hill said...

💖 thats not pity, because your gonna be fine..better than fine. Its just a heart hug because you are that amazing. Keep your chin up inspirational girl, great things are bound to hsppen soon