Sunday, November 16, 2014

I hurt someone I care about

I hurt someone I like a lot this weekend.  Not meaning to, but I did.  I rarely hurt people and when I do - and know about it - I can't stop obsessing about it.

I met 2 friends during the summer (2 men who have known each other for a long time).  We all have German Shepherds.    We all became friends, but it was apparent that I liked one of them (I'll call him Coast Guard because that's his job) more than the other one (I'm going to call him 650).  CG wasn't sending me any signals.  I asked 650 about him numerous times (which I'm sure he passed along).  I sent CG messages through Instagram.  No responses except once when he sent me a message, "I miss you."   I was about to give up.

But then, 650 invited me to go visit them - and I did with The Romanian (that's right - we've been friends again for a while).    CG was there and he acted interested in me.  He acted happy to see me.  But he never gave me his number or anything (650 did). CG was cold to say the least, but I got a few little smoke signals, so I thought there might be a chance.  (I'm generally clueless these days so who knows - I may be missing things.)

Then I thought maybe he was married.  Or has a girlfriend.  Or married and has a girlfriend.  Dunno.  I didn't know 650 well enough to ask him either.

650 liked my friend and he was direct about it.  She has a boyfriend, so it was off.

I sent CG a message and told him I missed him.  I got nothing back.  I called him once and he answered and said he was busy and would call me back, but never did.  I was pretty sure I should give up and move on.

This weekend, I called 650 and he invited me to go see him.  I had my dog with me and I was only planning to stop by for a little while.    I didn't call CG because 1) I was perturbed about the paragraph above and B) It was the weekend and CG and 650 are usually together.  I assumed he would be there.  He wasn't.

Yeah ... uh oh.

We sat and talked and 650 said that he called CG, but CG didn't answer.  (Hmmm... hinky....)  About an hour later, CG called and 650 asked him to come over.  CG was supposed to come, but then 650 told him I was there and he said he changed his mind and was going home.

650 asked me how I felt about CG and I told him that I really hadn't stopped thinking about the guy:  I liked him a lot, but I thought he was married (650:  No, never been married) or had a girlfriend (650: No) or didn't like me (650:  He really likes you, but he's kind of shy and has never talked to a foreign woman before...  He went on to say a LOT of nice things about his friend...)

This all sounds so high school, doesn't it?  Like someone should be passing notes back and forth, right?  No, my friends, welcome to Kuwait....

So, I sent CG a bunch of text messages.  I professed my "like" for him.  I told him that I couldn't stop thinking about him and hoped that he felt the same way.  His response:  "Don't call me again."

CG (46 years old) was upset that I was with 650.  And I guess he had the right to be upset because 650 was putting the moves on me (lit some candles and put on Mariah Carey... ick).  And maybe CG knows his friend.... (I hate these games and it seems like guys here play it against each other to see who can "get" the girl.)

Ok, bygones. Nobody is "getting" me.  I'm staying away from Bad-News-650.  If he would do that to his friend, he's no friend to anyone.

I hate having people be hurt or upset because of me.  I sent GC a little gift with a note.  That's all I can do.  If we are meant to be friends (or more), I'll find out down the road.  I'm just really sorry that I hurt his feelings.


TisMe said...

You hurt someone? as i see it , Someone needs to man up and stop this indecisiveness. But,that should tell you something; If someone only opens an inch of the door, he most likely doesn't want you to get in.

Desert Girl said...

Thanks, TisMe. You're right on all counts, but I still hurt him, so I apologized and then he apologized and that's that.

Desert Girl said...

I actually sent him a little gift and a card from 965flowers. It is probably more than he'll ever get in the form of an apology from any girl ever. Ever.

Anonymous said...

I dont think you hurt him, I think he is simply uninterested. Guys dont like girls that pursue them, and even if they were shy, if they liked you they wouldn't avoid you, they wouldn't ignore you! They would definitely respond to you at the first indication of your interest.
DG move on darling, you deserve someone that pursues you and likes you and not the other way around.