Virtual Relationships

I spent the weekend at the camp again in sub-zero temperatures.  It was NOT a warm and cozy couple of nights, and it wasn't because of the temperatures outside (which were sub-zero this weekend).  I think it was colder inside the tent - especially Friday night.  I should have slept with the dog, Rose.

DGy professed his love for me this weekend. (Relationshit tactic?)  I had already heard it from his friends, "He loves you" (giggles).  They think it's a big secret.  I'm a "Prove it" kind of girl.  I need the action to back it up, not just the words and so far DGy isn't scoring so well.  I don't hear the words unless I'm feelin the actions.

He's with me but he's not with me...

Rudeness:  Sitting next to someone (YOU consider special enough to be spending your valuable time with) and they pick up their phone (or phones in this case; his 3 phones:  BB, iPhone, and Samsung) or computer product, and start chatting.  I can understand if it is a quick thing; everybody checks their messages once in a while. I on and get off and get back to reality.  But when it goes on for hours and suddenly you're forming a closer relationship with the piece of lint you've been picking at than the human sitting next to you - Houston, we have a problem.

He takes his phones (yes, all 3) to bed with him.  He chats while driving, while eating, while watching TV, while talking to me.   He sometimes doesn't hear what I'm saying during a conversation because he's chatting with someone else.  Its constant and there is no end to it.  It isn't a small problem; it is more like obsessive compulsive disorder.  And this is just the beginning of our relationship;  It should be a happy time.

I respect who I am with.  If I choose (and it is a choice) to be next to someone and go to do things with them, I usually have my phone on vibrate or even turned off on the weekends.  I don't ever want to make someone important/valuable to me feel like they are second-best (which, I believe, is exactly the message that they convey by paying more attention to an electronic device than a real person).  Who I CHOOSE to be with should have my total attention/focus.

And who is he chatting with?  ShooShoo and Loody and Shoug (x-girlfriend).  The facebook accounts are full of friends like "Sweet Sara" and that kind (the kind who don't have a problem posing for the camera with tilted-head-pouty-faces-and-boobs-everywhere as if propped up with an unseen-to-the camera 2x4).  DGy:  "Do you expect me to ignore them (the girls, I suppose, not the boobs)?  I've known them for 10 years..."  Really?  When do I get to meet them?  (What's that?  They don't know about me?  hmmmm....)   Why isn't one of them with you right now as I am?  I haven't seen them around for the past months.  What's up with that?  Oh, did they make you coffee yesterday morning?  The day before?  Were they in the car with us?  The tent?  The apartment?   Did I miss something?  Oh, you mean they were all there, but virtually.  I see.

I know every relationshit has it's growing pains - especially in the beginning.  I don't argue that.  I'm the last one to bail for silly reasons, but... I don't consider this silly.  I usually try to work things out, so I did.

... .and got not the response I was looking for.

"This is my life (followed by Kuwaiti style, "Ufffff...." - translates to something being a burden.)"  He was put-out and acted like I'm some kind of 50's housewife who shouldn't be complaining to her hard-working husband.  "I don't have a girlfriend because I don't want problems..."  If you know me, docile and submissive are not words I comprehend;  So therefore, I'm a "problem."   I don't do, "sit back and take it because I'm a man and you're not."  Uh, no.

Bottom line is this:  Actions do indeed speak louder than words.  You can't love me if you don't respect me.

Welcome to the, "You will so regret this" club, my friend.  You will enjoy meeting the other members.  (The last member to join, Happy, was blowing up my phone around his birthday in December and then again around New Years Eve.  "Lonely" is one of the activities they offer at the YWSRT Club.)

(I've gone from a guy who wanted me to be in bed with lesbians to a guy who wants me to be in bed with a hundred virtual women.  Not fair.)

Will DGy be able to change?  Should I even consider it?  Is it going to be part of the puppy training?  There have been numerous articles about how social media sites are leading to divorce.  Is it cheating?  Should I consider it that or just let it go?

 I always try to seek out the reason why for everything. It appears that DGy himself isn't necessarily the reason why I was brought to him.  I think it was to bring my best friend, The Romanian, to find love with his cousin.  They are so happy together (Mashallah, Mashallah, Mashallah).  I love her guy.  He's a MAN.   He's doing everything he can to make her happy.  He's a great guy and I wish them the best.  He looked like he was going to cry when I told him that I'm going to leave DGy.  Habibi.