So like, um, I haven't posted for a while. Why? Because I've just been having too damn much fun, that's why.
Let's back up (it is Kuwait after all) a bit to when I travelled to the US of Hey for Cwimmas with the fam. As you may recall, I had just started hangin with Desert Guy and was really happy to be where I was, but knew I would be happy going to see my en-tire family for the holidays.
The United flight (XanaxAir) from Kuwait was fully booked. I sat next to a very nice man who didn't seem to mind that my snoring most likely has damaged his inner ear.
Got to Virgin-yuh and immediately started driving Miss Daisy (my mother). I pay no nevermind: She doesn't drive; I do. She's my ma. I would do anything for her and I'm happy with it. Mom's wish is my command. Here is our schedule: Cleaners, the library, and Trader Joe's. She won't go to Steinmart with me. Too much pressure. (Ironically, at Steinmart they were wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.) Did a little shoppin. Did a little eatin. Did a little more shoppin. Drank a little. Good times.
Similar to the "Miami Incident of 2010," I went a little overboard in the purchase of footwear. Shoooooes!!! How many pairs of boots is too many? I just don't know. What would be the appropriate stopping point? I don't know. Neither does my credit card. Neither does that DSW gift card that my sister gave me for Christmas. Let's just say it was vulgar. Really really offensive over-the-top boot shopping. And it felt good!
Whip out that behavior waiver! Waaa BAM
Random thought: I am TOTALLY addicted to Rihanna's "Diamonds" song. Owmahgawd! I could listen to that song a thousand times in a row. ...and we did... in the desert... more to come....
We had some really good times with my family. For example, there is a garden park close to our house with trails and ponds. Most of the year, it is full of different varieties of flowers and plants. I love it there at Meadowlark Park. Well, this was the first year that they decided to decorate the entire park for Christmas with lights. It was amazing! The trees were all lit. They had blue lights on the ground that resembled a stream and fish lights jumping out of the water. They had a section where the trees were decorated totally with blue lights and white falling lights that looked like snow. Then, there was an entire hillside decorated like a strawberry patch. Thousands of green lights with red balls that resembled the strawberries. We went there with my family. Froze my arse off, but had a good time. Oh, drinking a whole lot before we went helped a lot.
For some reason, I can't get photos off my iPhone right now and it is driving me nuts because I want to post some. Okay - I'll try later.
One night, my sister rented us a limo bus (it is like one of those Vegas party buses, but without the stripper pole) and took the fam to Occidental Grill. It is close to the White House and is known for hosting politicians. My older brother-in-law from Texas looks very stately, so we kept referring to him as, "Congressman" all night. The waiters caught on and asked him as we were leaving how he was planning to vote on the fiscal bill. We were all so wasted that it was 10x as funny. After dinner, we drove around to some of the monuments and ran out to take pictures at the Jefferson and Lincoln memorials. They look totally different when you're not a teenager kissin on some boy late at night! So cool. I can't remember the last time I have laughed so hard as I did on the way home that night. The cooler of booze that we had with us was probably the reason why...
Another night, we went to one of those fondue restaurants, the Melting Pot. Ok, I'm glad that we went, but I probably wouldn't do it again. They bring you big pots and long sticks and you cook your own food and then you pay the guy a tip. Whutup with that? Anyhoo, we all came out of there stankin' like food. Dudes, get a vent system. Got home and immediately took a shower. I smelled like cheese and wine and boiled meat.
Went to see "Guilt Trip" with Barbara Streisand. GREAT movie if you get a chance to see it. I love her. She's just so cool. The relationship was a lot like my sister and her son. Not because of guilt, but because Babs is constantly telling her son to hydrate, "Drink your water." Too funny. My sister took my nephew to his first overnight camp and then snuck back to check on him the next day when he was playing soccer. From the grassy knoll above, she's shouting, "HYDRATE!! HYDRAAAAAATE!"
Christmas was great. This was possibly the best Christmas EV-vah. So nice. My sister, her husband, and my niece came up from Texas. The mother-in-laws were there. My nephew's friends came and went. So happy.
The flight back to Kuwait was great. I had an upgrade voucher. Got to sleep in business class on a flat bed. Yesss. Very very very nice United rep at the gate at Dulles, named Bonnie, assisted me; she made my whole trip.
So... snap to 2013 in the next post....