Sunday, November 25, 2012

Happy Times Three

I have a fascinating life.  I really do.

As you know, I have been debating the Happy factor and should I/shouldn't I pursue a relationshit with him;  debating basically because I crave attention and he's just not an attention-giving guy.  This, after my many many attempts to try to explain (to no avail) of my neeeeds.  I don't think it should be a big deal; if a guy likes you (especially an A-rab guy), he is going to shower you with attention, affection, and maybe even a Ferrari (HA!!!  just wishful thinking, but who knows - and Hot Wheels don't count).

Happy, as witnessed by my friends, is marriage material (not that I even believe in it anymore and when you get to the end of this post, you'll have yet another reason why):  Eligible, good family, good job, handsome (although not overly).... yada.  He knows me.  He knows my friends.  His friends know me.  He's funny, he's smart, he's well-traveled.  Loves my dog.  Takes care of his elderly parents.  Trainable?

Pero, I have felt an undercurrent. That rumbling that tells you something is wrong, but you just can't put your finger on it.

When I knew Happy first revealed his interest in me (as more than a friend), he returned from a trip and brought perfume for both me and The Romanian; which I thought it was really sweet because she's my best friend and he knows her.  If you make a good impression on the girl's best friend then you're usually in.  So when I asked him if he wanted to come with me to the States for Christmas to see my family, he offered to pay for The Romanian's trip.  When we talked about going to Phuket in February, he asked if she'd like to go.  And when we went on our first date together, he invited her.  (.... I'm still not getting it because I'm blonde and challenged....  I think it's sweet.)

He had some problems and I didn't see him for 2 weeks (although he lives a few blocks from me and could drop in to say "heyyyybaby" anytime).

This weekend, he showed up when I had some friends over.  There was some dancing going on.  My friend, LaSenza was dancing.  It was a lot of fun.  Good times.  Happy was the last to leave and I thought he was going to be happy to see me. (ha ha, get it?)

I decided that we could finally have the little talk that he had been avoiding for all this time.  He first showed his interest in me and then cooled his jets substantially.  Je didn't like it.  I asked him the chick question, "Are we just friends, or what?" (Cause I have other things to do, honestly.  Don't waste my time.  I get cranky.  Not good.)

Here...It.... Comes.  (Are you sitting down?  Are you prepared??)

"I haven't been with another woman in 2 years.  But, I have an obsession.  I like to watch lesbians."  In movies?  "No."  Oh.  Ok (trying not to be judgmental because a lot of people have a lot of "interests"...).    He gives me a totally sexy look and says, "I need you to be with another woman."  (oh no he di' in't!!!.)

Friend to lesbian in .06 seconds...  I didn't even get flowers first. Not dinner.  Not a frick'in shawarma.  Nothing.  Just laid it all out there.

Me:  "Please please, don't say anything about any of my friends....off limits."  (Hoping, but at the same time, knowing what is about to come next.) Then it hits me:  The Romanian.  She's Choice #1.  Eeek.  Ok, girlfriend is HOT, but that is just NOT my flavor.  [If I wanted to be a lesbian, I would find a really hot chick and stick (or no stick) with her.  Why would I need a man to be part of the equation?  But alas.... again, not the way I go.]

Him:  "That girl, LaSenza, has really big (DG - no, I'm not going to say it...).  Think about it. Be prepared soon...."

La la la, ya habibi.  La. And la la la some more.  La.  La.

WHAT THE PHUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?????

Baaaah byyyyyye!

I have had funny reactions from my friends.  First call was to The Romanian who was very practical about it (although we both said that if we WERE ever to become lesbians, we would be each others' first choices).  Her approach was, "I'm so sorry, but you have to get rid of him.  You will never be alone with him because even if he is alone with you, he will be thinking about lesbians."  "He will never be happy.  He will never have a family or understand true love from or for a woman.  Just being you will never be enough for him."  
She's my best psychiatrist.  Thanks girlfriend (no homo).

Then, bien sur, I had to call LaSenza.  Her first reaction?  "Oh my God, it is my push-up bra!"  and added, "... but it's not even his birthday or a special occasion!  You don't just spring that on a girl.  Maybe after you've been together for years and your sex life has become boring, but this is just the beginning of your relationship!"  LOL.  "He'll never find what he's looking for because it comes in a packaged set."

Stealth was like, "... but you're not a lesbian...."  Yeah?  No duuh.  

Am I crushed?  Noooo.  I was in love with the idea of who I thought he was for like a week (call it obsession) like 2 weeks after we got together.  Then reality hit when he didn't bother picking up the phone or returning messages.  RUDE!  I am crushed, however, because I just spent 60KD on lingerie that is going to go to waste in my closet and it's frick'in gorgeous.  That sucks.  How do I feel:  Ick factor.  Seriously:  Isn't it bad enough that you can't find a decent man and then add insult to injury by having one who wants you, but only with another girl?

This is why I don't date rich guys.  There's nothing left to do, to see, to experience.  So they turn to perversions.  I'm not saying all of them, but the ones I have met - yup.  Let me just say it again:  I AM NOT THE ENTERTAINMENT.

Oh - and I would like to clarify just for the record:  He has known me for more than 10 years.  He has heard all my guy-stories.  He knows what I want in a relationshit because my friend Lawyer Dude has talked to me about it in length.  Nothing was ever mentioned about lingerie-clad girl pillow fights, girl-girl action:  nooooo.  Nothing.  What would make Happy SAY something like that? 

Do I have that face that says, "You can say anything to her and get away with it."??  Why do people tell me this stuff?

Ooooooo saaaaaaa, Desert Girl.  Go to your happy place (without Happy).  Shet - he's kinda ruined that word for me for a while....

By the by, in my perfect world, my ideal love triangle would be me, George Clooney, and his long-lost twin. (NOT me, a not-so-hot out-of-shape dude and another girl.)  But that's just me and I try to keep that kind of fantasizing on the down-low.

 - This has been a Desert Girl exclusive -

11 comments:

The Kuwaiti Godfather said...

You try too hard.

It is strange to heard what a girl is looking for and she can't get it. Especially a beautiful lady for that matter.

I am sure prince charming (scratch the prince) is looking for you. I know I'm impatient as well. I crave the feeling of getting married :) But unfortunately I am no A-rab (I just look Arab) Mixture of everything > Long story

What happy asks for is easy to find especially now since a lot of girls are having lesbian sex parties. What is up with lesbianism and Boyyat nowadays in Kuwait. And the guys are becoming gay :O I wish it were easier to find a simple, decent, attractive lady who wants a Rose, desires to be treated like a Queen and doesn't throw a Bitch fit when the guy doesn't do something :/ A person who wants to hang out and go for a walk on the beach or a nice romantic date :) There are other perks with being with a good/decent guy. Such as he can cook meaning you get to eat in bed ;) Oh well I am a waste of talent and romance.

Oh There I go and just as I was starting to lock up what I feel in my chest.

DG I for one know you're a superb woman who deserves to be treated like a Princess :) The sad thing is that you don't ask for much! Whoever thinks that it is too much surely doesn't know the meaning of love. Looking for your soul mate is way better.

Desert Girl said...

Dude - I'm not trying at all! these people find ME. I'm not out there trying to find Mr. Right because that person doesn't exist. I'm laying it all on the line on the blog just to get it out there, but I'm not trying.

It actually IS as easy as a push up bra and a set of false eyelashes - honest. If I just wanted something quick and dirty. I just prefer not to take part in a freak show. Whaaaat - is there no "normal" anymore?

The Kuwaiti Godfather said...

Normal is what happy asked for nowadays. I guess you're correct there is no Mrs. Right either. Maybe I shouldn't have refused the girl who offered to have sex with me. Yes it is easy to have a quick and dirty night of fun but surely that isn't satisfactory.

I was saving myself for after marriage but I think the wait is for a dream that I have to wake up from.

DG you're not trying but you're not getting what you want either. Good Luck and I hope you get what you want.

Ambazon said...

OMG- I thought he may have liked the Romanian then the story had a twist!!! WOW! I am not sure how hard it is to meet men because it seems easy... but as you say finding one that is good is hard. I say just stay true to yourself and always be honest. It is good that 'HAPPY' told you early on... Right?
---This is a great chapter for your book:0)

Desert Girl said...

The odds are good, but the goods are odd.

5hapimonkeys said...

I thought the same at first. Oh no, he wants the Romanian then wham! And sadly I didn't follow your advice to sit, now my bums hurt. But really, wow! Im sorry, I don't know you but I feel your pain. Look on the bright side, you'll be home with family for Christmas.:-)

Traveler said...

Pity the fool, he obviously lacks imagination. I have never been in a relationship in my entire life where the woman I was with was not enough to fulfill me in so many ways that I would ever need anyone else.

Early in my life I met a woman in Berlin who showed me in no uncertain terms what a close relationship between two people could be. She scarmbled my mind and body eight ways a night and since that time if I can't find that compatibility BEFORE intamacy, I don't bother because I will never find it after.

Stir in some serious imagination, decent langerie and a bath tub full of cherry Jell-O -- then light some candles and lock the door -- who would ever need more?

Is this a good time for a thank you dinner?

Traveler said...

BTW would be glad to provide an honest opinion on the lingerie in your closet so you have it for future reference.

Yes, I am willing to make that sacrafice in the interest of whatever reason you might come up with. :D

Lawyer Girl said...

That story is GOLD!! Thanks for the laugh to start my day DG.

Nataruma said...

Gurl, just cause you bought sexy lingerie with the intention of a big and fancy reveal for a significant other, doesn't mean you can't still put it on JUST FOR YOURSELF.

'Course it's winter now so I'd make sure I had a warm fuzzy robe and slippers to go with the lingerie.

Plenty more hamour in the sea.

Nataruma said...

Gurl, just cause you bought sexy lingerie with the intention of a big and fancy reveal for a significant other, doesn't mean you can't still put it on JUST FOR YOURSELF.

'Course it's winter now so I'd make sure I had a warm fuzzy robe and slippers to go with the lingerie.

Plenty more hamour in the sea.