Happy Times Three

I have a fascinating life.  I really do.

As you know, I have been debating the Happy factor and should I/shouldn't I pursue a relationshit with him;  debating basically because I crave attention and he's just not an attention-giving guy.  This, after my many many attempts to try to explain (to no avail) of my neeeeds.  I don't think it should be a big deal; if a guy likes you (especially an A-rab guy), he is going to shower you with attention, affection, and maybe even a Ferrari (HA!!!  just wishful thinking, but who knows - and Hot Wheels don't count).

Happy, as witnessed by my friends, is marriage material (not that I even believe in it anymore and when you get to the end of this post, you'll have yet another reason why):  Eligible, good family, good job, handsome (although not overly).... yada.  He knows me.  He knows my friends.  His friends know me.  He's funny, he's smart, he's well-traveled.  Loves my dog.  Takes care of his elderly parents.  Trainable?

Pero, I have felt an undercurrent. That rumbling that tells you something is wrong, but you just can't put your finger on it.

When I knew Happy first revealed his interest in me (as more than a friend), he returned from a trip and brought perfume for both me and The Romanian; which I thought it was really sweet because she's my best friend and he knows her.  If you make a good impression on the girl's best friend then you're usually in.  So when I asked him if he wanted to come with me to the States for Christmas to see my family, he offered to pay for The Romanian's trip.  When we talked about going to Phuket in February, he asked if she'd like to go.  And when we went on our first date together, he invited her.  (.... I'm still not getting it because I'm blonde and challenged....  I think it's sweet.)

He had some problems and I didn't see him for 2 weeks (although he lives a few blocks from me and could drop in to say "heyyyybaby" anytime).

This weekend, he showed up when I had some friends over.  There was some dancing going on.  My friend, LaSenza was dancing.  It was a lot of fun.  Good times.  Happy was the last to leave and I thought he was going to be happy to see me. (ha ha, get it?)

I decided that we could finally have the little talk that he had been avoiding for all this time.  He first showed his interest in me and then cooled his jets substantially.  Je didn't like it.  I asked him the chick question, "Are we just friends, or what?" (Cause I have other things to do, honestly.  Don't waste my time.  I get cranky.  Not good.)

Here...It.... Comes.  (Are you sitting down?  Are you prepared??)

"I haven't been with another woman in 2 years.  But, I have an obsession.  I like to watch lesbians."  In movies?  "No."  Oh.  Ok (trying not to be judgmental because a lot of people have a lot of "interests"...).    He gives me a totally sexy look and says, "I need you to be with another woman."  (oh no he di' in't!!!.)

Friend to lesbian in .06 seconds...  I didn't even get flowers first. Not dinner.  Not a frick'in shawarma.  Nothing.  Just laid it all out there.

Me:  "Please please, don't say anything about any of my friends....off limits."  (Hoping, but at the same time, knowing what is about to come next.) Then it hits me:  The Romanian.  She's Choice #1.  Eeek.  Ok, girlfriend is HOT, but that is just NOT my flavor.  [If I wanted to be a lesbian, I would find a really hot chick and stick (or no stick) with her.  Why would I need a man to be part of the equation?  But alas.... again, not the way I go.]

Him:  "That girl, LaSenza, has really big (DG - no, I'm not going to say it...).  Think about it. Be prepared soon...."

La la la, ya habibi.  La. And la la la some more.  La.  La.

WHAT THE PHUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?????

Baaaah byyyyyye!

I have had funny reactions from my friends.  First call was to The Romanian who was very practical about it (although we both said that if we WERE ever to become lesbians, we would be each others' first choices).  Her approach was, "I'm so sorry, but you have to get rid of him.  You will never be alone with him because even if he is alone with you, he will be thinking about lesbians."  "He will never be happy.  He will never have a family or understand true love from or for a woman.  Just being you will never be enough for him."  
She's my best psychiatrist.  Thanks girlfriend (no homo).

Then, bien sur, I had to call LaSenza.  Her first reaction?  "Oh my God, it is my push-up bra!"  and added, "... but it's not even his birthday or a special occasion!  You don't just spring that on a girl.  Maybe after you've been together for years and your sex life has become boring, but this is just the beginning of your relationship!"  LOL.  "He'll never find what he's looking for because it comes in a packaged set."

Stealth was like, "... but you're not a lesbian...."  Yeah?  No duuh.  

Am I crushed?  Noooo.  I was in love with the idea of who I thought he was for like a week (call it obsession) like 2 weeks after we got together.  Then reality hit when he didn't bother picking up the phone or returning messages.  RUDE!  I am crushed, however, because I just spent 60KD on lingerie that is going to go to waste in my closet and it's frick'in gorgeous.  That sucks.  How do I feel:  Ick factor.  Seriously:  Isn't it bad enough that you can't find a decent man and then add insult to injury by having one who wants you, but only with another girl?

This is why I don't date rich guys.  There's nothing left to do, to see, to experience.  So they turn to perversions.  I'm not saying all of them, but the ones I have met - yup.  Let me just say it again:  I AM NOT THE ENTERTAINMENT.

Oh - and I would like to clarify just for the record:  He has known me for more than 10 years.  He has heard all my guy-stories.  He knows what I want in a relationshit because my friend Lawyer Dude has talked to me about it in length.  Nothing was ever mentioned about lingerie-clad girl pillow fights, girl-girl action:  nooooo.  Nothing.  What would make Happy SAY something like that? 

Do I have that face that says, "You can say anything to her and get away with it."??  Why do people tell me this stuff?

Ooooooo saaaaaaa, Desert Girl.  Go to your happy place (without Happy).  Shet - he's kinda ruined that word for me for a while....

By the by, in my perfect world, my ideal love triangle would be me, George Clooney, and his long-lost twin. (NOT me, a not-so-hot out-of-shape dude and another girl.)  But that's just me and I try to keep that kind of fantasizing on the down-low.

 - This has been a Desert Girl exclusive -