Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A RRRRRRomance update

Yeah, I know... youse guys like to hear my gossip. Why?  Because (like me)  you have no life and have to live surreptitiously through the lives of other people (like me) also with no life.  ADMIT IT!  Admitting you have a problem is the first step in solving it.  Why else would  you be on here (and some of you during the WORK day) to read about my boringassshit? 


So things are going well with SouthernBedu.  (I started to type "SB" one time for a nickname, but that is too close to sonamabitch.)  He's kind, nice, and extremely sweet.  He puts up with my moods (it's early yet!) and just lets everything go with ease.  On the flip side, the guy can TALK and it is driving me kinda crazy.  He's been in a relationship for the past 15 years with a woman who didn't let him talk and/or that he didn't have good communication with.  I can't imagine that.  I think long talks with my man are so important.  However, SoBedu has been talking so much that I'm wondering if he is just a bad listener.  He's starting to calm down and get better, but O.M.G.... I hope it isn't going to turn into a problem.  He's adorable and everything that I want in so many ways.  Just dude - shutthephuckuuuuuuuuup!!!  (And don't think I haven't shouted that and often.)  It is usually about his work.  Right now, some of his co-workers (who I have not met and are probably just regular nice people in real life) are on my shit-list.

It is nice to finally have a (SINGLE!!!) man in my life who isn't ruled by other people.  He is more like an American man in terms of independence.  He doesn't have to go home to his parent's house (even in his 40's) by a certain time.  He has his own place.  He can put up my photos. I can leave stuff in his closet.   He makes his own rules.  I either stay with him or he stays with me (more often he stays with me because they are doing construction in his area and it is Hell).  Nobody cooks or cleans for him (even though they could if he wanted to hire someone); he takes care of him (and in turn, knows very well how to take care of ME which is refreshing).

He is the FIRST man in my life (American or Kuwaiti) who has taken the time to ask me where things go in my home.  "Where should I put this?  Where do you keep the (whatever)" like he is memorizing it for later.  Then, he goes back and puts stuff away.  Imagine that!!  I don't HAVE to make tea for him - I get the opportunity to ask him if he would like me to.  I don't have to pick up his cup - he does that and puts it in the dishwasher.

He is genuinely happy just to be out and doing things.  He knows all my friends; all my friends like him (yeah, maybe he can be a little annoying while on the sauce, but you have to admit, he's just a big happy guy).  He has nothing but good intentions towards everyone and I'm comfortable just being around him.  He's constant and loyal and je suis content. Oui oui.

He has told his family about me.  His mother gave us her blessing and told him to marry me quick before I "fly away."  (I'm just going on vacation, don't worry!) That THAR is refreshing instead of, "Whaaat? Aren't there enough Kuwaiti women in Kuwait?"  We've been throwing the idea around.  I need to ease into that; whenever it gets serious, I get antsy.  I need to take the slow approach or I'll freak out. 

I'm trying to teach the Bedu American marriage traditions.  Yes, you might say that I'm in Kuwait and I should adopt Kuwaiti marriage traditions.... ok, so let's take a closer look at that:  Do you REALLY want me to adopt that over American style?  Let's talk MAHER (dowry) for example... or CHABKA (traditional often-diamond-encrusted jewelry set given during the wedding).  Isn't a nice rock and some flowers really a better alternative?  Do you really want to go there?  I can do it.... I'm just sayin.....

Special K - you NEED to have a chat with SoBedu about all this when you get back.  Not kidding.  I tried to show him some American style wedding sets, but he's really hopeless.  Please - make him look up wedding traditions online or something. Help a sistah OUT!

Another thing I like about Southern Bedu:  We were on the sofa one day (could be any day) and some program came on with a bunch of screaming kids running around.  He got a distasteful look on his face and said, "I really don't like kids.  I can't stand them for very long.  Even my nieces and nephews know not to come near me when they're making noise...."  I frickin high-fived him on the SPOT.  DUDE!!!  I guess it would be different if the kid were mine, but I don't really like the dirty, noisy, little poop-makers.  It's dayam refreshing to find a BEDOUIN guy who isn't baby-crazy ("Let's make one NOW!").  Let's see ONE of those baby-crazed dudes change ONE diaper.  Notgonnahappin.  Don't give me that, "Women's work" bullshit (while they're off to the diwaniya).  As IF.

Thank you, God!!

Otay soooo... And in other news....

Stealth and I have eased into friendship.  He's one of those people that I know would help me in any situation with a phone call.  I know it from the bottom of my bottom.  He's just THAT guy.  I like being friends with him.  I like talking to him and getting advice from him.  Just friends now and I'm glad.  He hasn't even met Southern Bedu yet and  he is already giving me positive advice about him (telling me to be nice to him, etc.).  Huh - aint that a thang?  Stealth is not a committed kind of guy.  I don't see him settling down with anyone and if he does - as bohemian/open-minded as he appears to be - he still eats most of his meals at home; cooked by his mother.  He's going to marry some traditional girl who will do the same while he's out (you guessed it) somewhere else.  Better friendship material.

So, you ask, do I think about The Man?  The answer to that question is a resounding:  NO.  Once in a while, he'll pop into my head, but as quickly as he pops in, he pops out.  There is no emotion attached to the mental image - it's like it was a million years ago (and yet only since February).  Life changes so fast, doesn't it? 

The Man's daughter, Pretty Girl, is going to California next month to start her year abroad as a foreign exchange student.  I'm so proud of her and I miss her so much.   The one thing I do regret is that our break-up has put a canyon between The Man Kids and I.  I don't see them anymore and I wish that could be different, but alas, realistically, it isn't meant to be I s'pose.  I get the feeling that maybe they either don't feel they should communicate with me as much or that maybe their parents don't think it is a good idea.  At any rate, I am happy that I shared a small part of their lives.  Everything happens for a reason - I look back at our roller coaster of a relationship (the Man and I) and maybe our reason for being was to somehow have a positive (I hope) influence on the lives of his kids.  They are going to be amazing grown-ups.

So that's all my news in a nutshell.

I had my final root canal last week.  I still need to get the crowns done.  OMG I am so glad that is over.  I was really worried about the pain (but then a friend of Spanx gave me a box of Xanax and I calmed down a whole lot).  I overcame the fear and now can get into the dentist chair without being pulled into it by a wench.  Next comes braces.  Then, lipo and a tummy tuck (hopefully in Thailand).  The Girls can wait until I'm like 60ish (or until I have to roll them up to get them into my WonderBra).

Speaking of WonderBras.... I'm leaving to the States on Thursday.  Off to the Outer Banks again, margaritas, crabs, lazy day visits with my family.  I can smell the sea-spray now.

Let the unmerciless shopping begin! 


Anonymous said...

Woo hoo! This is exciting news. SoBedu sounds like a sweetheart. I'm so happy for you DG! Enjoy your vacation with your family and kiss the USA for me.

<3 ExpatandtheCity

Anonymous said...

You talk too much... And good luck with your new SB, and life. I find that the issue of kids will pop up in the future, and I believe you should tackle it early. Furthermore, it's a Friday morning, and at home, and I read your blog because it is always interesting to see if others are sane as I am.

On another note, good write up. I like your descriptive narrative.

Anonymous said...


I like everything about your new love except the fact that he doesn't like kids..Are Arab men becoming selfish as well? What's the point of getting married if you aren't planning to have a family?

Desert Girl said...

Anonymous July 26 - Here's the dealio - I don't like kids either. It is a win/win situation for me. Noisy, smelly little poop makers. You ask: What is the point of getting married? Gee, I hope you're not married... that would be kind of an insulting question to your wife, wouldn't it? I guess there is something about love, togetherness, commitment. Ask married couples who don't have kids how they feel.