Thursday, October 25, 2007

Strangers in the Night

I know – I got kinda heavy handed with my last 2 posts. Me sorry. It is cool that so many people commented and had interesting feedback. So now back to my boring ass life (there is a new book out with a similar title. Saw the guy on Letterman).

Everywhere I go lately, “Strangers in the Night” is playing. WTF. I have it constantly stuck in my head. I can only remember the first line of the dirty version, “Strangers in the night, exchanging rubbers….this one’s much too tight, how ‘bout another…” Can anybody help me with the DIRTY lyrics?

I went out with Maz last night and he made me promise not to write about him here on the blog, so of course, I’m not. We had a nice dinner at Villa Fairuz and then he made me drive back to my place to drop myself off. He said he had back problems and was in pain, but I suspect more than anything that he was trying to give me small payback: He just bought (with his own money, not one else’s; fer sure no Tawhore) a 2008 Tahoe and I think he wanted to let me drive HIS big engine home. So to speak. (Yes, I totally and completely meant the car!!!! Dirty thinkers!) Anyhooooo, thanks Maz for making my mental week of business meetings and overall craziness much more relaxing.

I called my mom when I got home. DAMN I MISS MY MOMMY. I think I’m going to fly home (I love you, United direct flights to IAD) and surprise them at Thanksgiving. I haven’t been at a Thanksgiving meal with my family since 1996. I really want to be there. At first, my plan was just to fly in for one day and fly out, but everyone agreed that I’m retarded; so (not that it is taking away from that), I decided to go back for about 4 days. I’m going again for longer at Christmas, but I feel the need for family (ok, ok, I confess…. For turkey and gravy and stuffing and our family’s traditional Thanksgiving foods.)

I also want to see all the yard renovations. Our house in Virgina is backed up to a small plot of land that my family had the option to buy when the sub-division of houses was built. It is an oddly-shaped piece of land (a 10’ strip with a berm and beautiful trees) that juts out into our back yard – within feet of the fence around the pool. We didn’t buy it. So now … years later… the family who bought the land has started construction. The first thing they did was to bring in a bulldozer to dig up our entire view behind our house. They started taking down all the trees and scaring away the deer. My sister had a cow. She told the builders that if even a drop of mud fell into our pool, that she was going to sue and keep them in court for years. It has been a nasty, muddy mess back there. Since then, my sister has spent over $100k in the back yard doing landscape architecture so that the view wouldn’t be ruined. They even trucked in a pre-fab gazebo and 35’ trees, so that neighbor-dude wouldn’t be looking over at our family at the pool. Even neighbor dude’s builder advised him, “Don’t piss off your neighbors… You are going to regret this… “ Our land stretches into dude’s front yard, so we are thinking about building and have several ideas: Pig farm. 24/7 brightly-lit tennis court: fun for the whole neighborhood all day and night long. A wall (similar to the Wall of China)., Etc. Some people are just phuckin stupid!

Anyhooo, at least our neighborhood isn’t on fire. My mom reminded me to call my friend, Lina (aka “Leanover”), in San Diego and make sure her pants weren’t on fire (yes, of course, they usually are). I called her and she (and her 5 dogs – Yorkies) have been evacuated to her mother’s house in another part of SD. Lina is convinced that the fires were caused by a short circuit in her…. (um… politically correct… ) Battery Operated Boyfriend (BOB)….mechanical man… HO! She said her Kuwaiti x-boyfriend hadn’t called to find out how she is, so I sent him a text message at 2:00 am (have had trouble sleeping this week) to tell him that her BOB had started the fires. Just incase he was wondering. He’s a GM of a big Islamic finance and investment company. He SO pretends to be religious.

Insecure men.

I think The Romanian has us lined up with some firemen friends this weekend (in keeping with the spirit of "hot pants on fire", etc). Its either that or Kabd ('tis the season to be Kabd-ing...). Ah yes, Kabd, chapathi, chai halib, and bayth (at 4:30 am).


Purgatory said...

You have odd friends

Mise said...

I chose the first blog on Jagu's list...and yours was it...I love ascerbic, witty writing even if I can't often do it myself...great post on marriage :D

Stinni said...

There was a girl named Crystal in my 4th grade class who was bussed into my ritzy school from the inner city (Boston, Roxbury to be exact) who used to sing her own version of the song. It went like this:

"Strangers in the night, exchanging rubbers, this one is too tight, give me another, this one is too loose, to hold all my juuuuuuuice..."

FOURTH GRADE, YO. I had no idea what it meant.

Desert Girl said...

Purg - Likewise, my friend.

Mise - thank you. I'm going to look up that word "ascerbic" now, but I'm guessin its good.

Stinni - The last sentence threw me. I know you too well... tee hee. Sorry, any girl named Crystal from Roxbury is going to know what it means.

Hey - doesn't it completely crack you up when Indian people ask you (in the office) if they can borrow your rubber? Holy shit, I thought I would die! LOL And NO! I don't want it back!

In the 6th grade, I didn't know what the term "BJ" meant and I asked my mother. OMG I can still remember the look on her face. If someone had just hacked her with a machete, the facial expression wouldn't have been any different.

Blueberri said...

LOL u just reminded me of a friend who asked for a "rubber" after he moved to a high school in the US (we used to go to a British school here in Kuwait)

Desert Girl said...

Blueberri - that is just like when my friend (mentioned in the post) Leanover first moved to the US from Russia and told the other little cheerleader girls at her high school that she was "going to take a douche" - meaning shower! The first one to fall on the floor laughing was her twin brother...

Purgatory said...

sneaky, evil woman! I cannot reply to that ;p

Mise said...

Look up acerbic! .... it was always rubbers in Ireland too ... I think it's tippex now...not half as useful! :D

Desert Girl said...

Thanks Mise. Yeah, you can't really use "tipex" and have it come out with a double intendre. (sp - French WTF?)

Purg - Yes, you know me well and no, there would be no PC/diplomatic response other than to plead the 5th! :)

Pinky said...

Hey even worse, some Australians call selotape Durex as that was the brand name. Fancy walking into a stationary shop and asking for a packet of Durex! It's be like the madness song House of Fun

Anonymous said...

This one would crack you up even more!
A blogger out here has a cat named 'Boobie' and that blogger shared some pics of the cat. A commenter posted this; "your pussy is adorable" another went like this; "I must say boobie looks adorable in that box"

I avoided putting up the link here(for reasons you can guess why!)