On my Desert Girl Facebook page, I wrote a little diddy about having a fun fling with a handsome Kuwaiti friend. I discovered - by basically stalking him on FB - that he is dating a friend-of-a-friend. Likesay, it was only a fun fling and I hadn't even had the chance to really get to know him before all this happened, so no loss. He was a good kisser and it was wanaaaaaaaaaaaasa. Sigh. (And okay... to be honest... where do you draw the line for when cheating starts? At kissing?) I do feel bad for his girlfriend, however. She seems like a sweet girl; totally in love. She's all over facebook with it (people would you learn how to set your security?! Dayum.) Probably doesn't have a clue. ...WAKE UP!!!
I used to be that innocent. Now my ears are highly sensitive bullshyt detectors. I learned, like many of us do, the hard way. Now unfortunately I'm one of those jaded women (not girls) who tends to anticipate the negative first before allowing myself to hope for the positive. I'm the poster child for why men date stupid, young, innocent girls who don't know any better.
Then, I got responses from people saying that I should tell her. Uh... no thank you. Why - so she could hate ME and tell her friend (who is also my friend)? So she could run back to him and tell him I told her? Why would I want to do that? Hurt her? Maybe she's cheating too: I don't know. Not my business. I can only stay away from him and wish them the best.
So anyhoo, the Facebook string opened up a whole can o'worms on the subject of cheating. Some Kuwaiti ladies even chimed in that it is cultural.
What do you think?
What do I think? I believe that certain species of animals like wolves and maybe swans mate for life, but humans: not so much. I'm just not a believer anymore. Wish I was, Peter Pan, but those days are gone. I'm still waiting for the magic to return to Never-never Land.
In this part of the world, there is no monetary punishment for cheating, so it is kind of game-on. In the States, if you are married and you cheat, you have broken the marriage contract and you pay for it when you divorce. Not here. Nope. Dude can have 4 wives. If a woman cheats, however, the whole world has ended (totally 'nother story).
Historically, there is this whole thing about wealthy men who had concubines (mistresses) on the side that they did things with that they would never dream of doing with their wives. (I was friends with a Kuwaiti couple and they were joking around with me one time. He said that he asked her to do something and then was like, "WHAT?! I can't do THAT with YOU! You're my WIFE! They laughed about it, but that is the way some men here feel. That's pathetic.) The concubines were often treated better than wives. Well, are things so different now?
I get e-mails every now and then from women saying, "I think my guy in Kuwait is cheating. What do you think?" What do I think? Hell YES he's cheating. If you have to ask the question, you already know the answer. God gave women intuition for a reason. My momma always used to say, if you sense danger, get out. You are sensing it for a reason. Guys, how many times have your women known something that they couldn't possibly know, but they just KNOW it? That's women's intuition.
Would I cheat? That's not really our topic here, now is it? But if you want an honest answer, I'll give it to you: If the guy is devoted to me and gives me everything that I need in a relationship - why should I wander? If I'm not getting what I need and I'm feeling slighted or disrespected, why should I be with him? If I love a guy, I would walk through fire for him and that is the truth. I wouldn't consider doing anything to hurt him. But alas, finding that person is a rare rare thing.
So anyhoo, those are my thoughts in a nutshell.