This has been such a lovely month. Je suis content. Yup. (Mashallah)
I was away for a few weeks at the Association of the US Army's convention in DC. Why the Hell hasn't anyone invented a transporter like on Star Trek? Why can't I just beam over to DC?
I travelled with eye problems and I returned with eye problems. This has been going on for a long time and it is a pain in my ... well, in my eyes. It huwwwwts. I don't like it. Been back to the doctor and it is dry eye brought on by whatever virus I had at the end of September/early October. I hate not being able to wear make-up. People don't even recognize me. It's pathetic. The doctor says (supposedly) 2 more weeks of this. Jeezy peezy. I tried my damndest to cure it with alcohol/intoxication therapy, but even that didn't work. [Ironically, although the title of this is "Oktoberfest" - I don't drink beer. Never have. Can't stand the taste of it (since the 6th grade when I chugged one and threw up all over the playground at The Paine School).]
I've become so accustomed to going to the States that I try to fill the days as much as possible. Sometimes I look back and find it hard to believe that I did so much in a few weeks' time. (And how many pairs of shoes I could buy!!! (OMG! www.dsw.com - shooooooes! Booooooots!)
I got back just before Sandy hit. I'm glad for that. My sister was worried about her house and about their boat docked in front. We've heard from her neighbors that both are fine.
So I got back to Kuwait .... Stealth and The Romanian picked me up from the airport. They so sweet. I went home and slept and slept.
And the next day....
Happy. (I'm going to call him "Happy" after his nickname on an app.)
I've seen my lawyer/friend's best friend, Happy, many times over the years. He's a nice guy, but never really thought about him (never "saw" him even though he was right in front of me the whole time) until just now when I got back and he made me notice him. When I say that I need a man to impress me, I mean it. I'm impressed. How did he do it? He was completely up-front and direct with me immediately. He made me a priority. He told me how he felt about me and asked the same of me. He told me what he wanted a future together to be like. It was that simple. He's even doing that one thing that is so important to me: He likes my dog and the feeling is mutual. If you don't pass my dog test, you don't get to stick around very long. (I've been asked before by stupid people, "If you had to choose between me and your dog, who would you choose?" Ya know, people, I don't even need to hear the end of that sentence to answer, 'My dog.' It's a no-brainer.)
Disclaimer: If a guy doesn't call me or SMS while I'm away from him; he doesn't impress me. If he doesn't call immediately when I return; he doesn't impress me. Show up at the airport to greet me; that impresses me. If he is tentative about plans or doesn't see an immediate need to see me: he doesn't impress me. (Booty calling does NOT impress me.) Wishy-washy, namby-pamby does NOT impress me. Grow some cojones, be direct, be a man. Impress. End of disclaimer.
Ironically, Happy is the cousin of the man who got me to Kuwait for work (another lawyer). He and his cousin don't get along well at all because of the difference in their political and religious views. We have that in common! [I was recruited by the Khwan al Muslemeen and I never fit in with their niche (so to speak). I am grateful - as I should always be - because they got me to Kuwait. But that's another story that I don't know if I will/should write about.] Happy is single (never married - no baggage), he's in my age group, he's financially solvent, he travels, he's got a great sense of humor, and the initial signs are all good. Mashallah. The Romanian is my Romance Barometer. She always knows who is going to be good for me. She told me a long time ago to take a better look at Happy, but I didn't pay attention. I am now.
Bu Merdas came around about a month before I left and wanted to get back together again - but on his idiotic terms (seriously - too idiotic to even write down) and with his recurring theme of lack-of-communication. Oh.My.God. Would you grow up and learn how to just TALK to me??? RRRRR! He called The Romanian while I was away and talked to her at length about me and our relationshit. Why is it so difficult just to talk to the person you are in the relationshit with? Why you gotta go talk to my best friend? Je ne get it pas. Are we in high school? Now he's sending me mushy romantic photos over the internet. Sigh. That aint gonna do it for me, buddy. It seems that he only wants me when I move on and don't want him anymore.
All women want is to feel secure. That's it. Secure. For the most part, we don't need a whole bunch of stuff (although there are a lot of gold-diggers and high-maintenance biotches who do). Not me. I just want someone to tell me how he feels about me, means it, and shows me. What is the big deal?
I've known Bu Merdas for 10 years. A lot of truly good (dare I even say 'exceptional'?) could have happened in that 10 years, but I've never felt secure with him. He's never allowed me to. Not once. Never let me in. That little voice in the back of my head talked to me. Happy makes me feel infinitely more secure already. I love direct. He's direct. Why can't more men just be direct? Why the insecurity and secrecy?
The Man would never talk to me. That used to drive me crazy. He might talk to me later - sometimes much later - when it was pointless. Who knows what might have happened had he just been direct and talked to me? How can you be secure when you don't have all the information?
No regrets wallah. Everything happens for a reason and it is all good.
Right before I left, I met a new friend by chance (in kindof a strange way) who is a breast cancer survivor. Her arthritis (brought on by chemo) was bothering her. I talked to her yesterday and she says the cancer is back. She said that she was sorry to tell me that - since we were new friends and I don't need the drama. Sometimes people are sent your way to make you look at your surroundings differently. Or perhaps you can help them in a way when they (or you) need a friend. God doesn't make mistakes.
So anyhoo, is this going to be a great winter or what? Wow! The rain and the thunder/lightening storm when I arrived from DC I took as a sign of good things to come. Mashallah, I have THE most amazing group of friends I could ever wish for and everything is looking good in my world. I'm wishing the same for all the people I know (real and virtual).