Saturday, December 13, 2008

Smelly Cat Update

Slaperella told me to use chili powder on my welcome mat. While looking for the chili powder (my housekeeper's "organizational" skills are freakish), and several refreshing drinks, found some wasabi powder, so I made a noxious blend. The Slaps Theory is that when Le Chat squats to lay one of those enormous poops on my welcoming mat, it will burn its furry little ass. (Whaaaaaaa? It's not torture! My other alternative was trapping it and trying to convince PAWS that it was a nice kitty and should be given a loving home.)

This was before I heard about the orange peels and/or citrus sprays (thank you to those of you who commented. It is now stored in my trivial stuff database where I'm sure I'll be able to save it for later).

I also had gates put in. Desert Dawg will have to stay inside (as slaps says, "Your new home is as big as a park.") during the day while I'm not home (I ordered a "doggy box" for discreet indoor use). While I am home, I have a total of 3 new gates (locking one at the top of the stairs, another at the bottom of the stairs, and a 2M high one with locks at the back of the terrace that wraps around the house). I've already ordered motion-detectors from the US (I haven't seen them here - does anyone know if they exist in Kuwait?). All for the protection of my dog.

Go ahead funny people - laugh. I love my dog.

When I was 13, I got a pony for my birthday (no, I wasn't really a spoiled little girl - the pony in case was 30 years old and had a whooping cough and was barely alive and I had to rescue it). Cost of the pony: $100. So, my stepfather built a barn and levelled land for a coral (in February. In Rhode Island). Total cost: $25,000.

Desert Dawg's fences are a drop in the bucket.

Anyhoo, long-story-short, between my security obsession and the chili powder, I think the phucking cat/leopard/cow-patty-producer has moved on.

I'm sure my neighbors are laughing their asses off. "Stupid Amreekia!" I used to laugh at people like me too - until I became one. (Ok, I'm still laughing. Most often at myself. Ergo the blog.) Peace of mind is sometimes hard earned. Peace of MY mind is no easy matter!


Anonymous said...

Motion detectors: have you tried ACE hardware? They do seem to carry things you can't find anyplace else. Good luck with the new place.

$iraj said...

Salut! Coment ca va? I love the bit of french influence on your blog, for all the freedom fries I can have. Have you ever published the name of your dawg online( apologies for the ignorance if you have and I have not followed) or you indeed call him desert dawg? Or does that dear little dawg have a french name?
Je Nais Sais Pas! Keep the Yucky cats away! Cheers!

Desert Girl said...

Thanks Anonymous. I am an Ace fan also, so I'll check them out.

$iraj - I haven't ever published Desert Dawg's real name. I am superstitious, so more than anything, I don't want the evil eye on her. That plus if I did publish her name, I would be one step closer to revealing my real-life identity (not that most of Kuwait doesn't already know by now).

Anonymous said...

I bought a cat penthouse for my cat when we lived in Qatar. I could see from the appalled look on the faces of my guests that the thought of spending that much on a CAT was mind-boggling, but it kept him safe, and allowed him to be outdoors. And . . . for all the comments, I was able to sell it when I left for what I paid for it, so it was worth it.

Anonymous said...

LOL everytime I see the title : smelly cat... I think of the Friends episode where that ditzy chick writes a song called "smelly cat...smelly cat"