This Month's Cast of 7 Dwarfs

Sleepy, Slutty, Dopey, Grumpy, Cracky, Boycrazy and Hungry

I don’t know about you, but this has got to be the slowest Ramadan I’ve ever had the pleasure of sitting through. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I’m trying to accomplish things – really, I am. It just isn’t getting done. Some Evil Power has sucked all the creativity right out of me. I’m not my usual perky self and I’m not liking it. I want to sleep all the time. Just sleep. At home. At work. In the car. At the mall. I want to sleep. I’m not even really hungry (“Oh my God – someone get her on anti-depressants!”); although I did find a really good place in Sabah Al-Salem for gaymat (khaleeji donut holes). Yummmmm. I have kind of weaned myself off kanafah, thankfully. It is like eating the caloric equivalent of an entire PizzaSlut medium pan, in one piece of desert. I'm not sayin that is necessarily a bad thing per se, but probably not in the long-term.

Desert Dawg has been very sick lately and I am all upset about it. I fed her some steak (from Sultan Center) and she got sick right away. I took her to the vet and her temperature was up to 40c, so they started giving her injections immediately. She has 3 days of injections and then I go back in 5 more days for vaccination boosters. Me sorry, but if a grocery store sells meat that makes my dog sick, I aint eatin it.

If you haven't had your dog/puppy vaccinated - go do it. Canine Parvo is on the rise in Kuwait at the moment.

I honestly didn't mean to segue into this at this juncture, but here it is.

I’m really thankful that The Man decided we should be friends again. I think I'm going to send him a note saying that, actually. I feel so relieved – like, “Wow. That’s over.” I’m one of those people who doesn’t accept defeat very well. I have acknowledged it. I kindof felt like there must have been something more/better that I could do, but sometimes there just isn’t any solution. Now that we are friends, that nagging feeling is gone. I see how much he has changed – or maybe how much I have – and things are just so different. Ok, I concede that I kinda/sorta wanted him to come crawling back, begging me to take him and give him another chance; saying he was willing to do whatever it would take to make me happy (like grovel, perhaps?). But hey – would it ever have been enough? Probably not. Who knows – that day might happen someday and then I won’t even want him to make the effort. Uh – like – as if.

I asked Bu Merdas to come over and crack my back. (Yes, dingalings, I do so mean it literally). Before I went to the USofHey in August – right before I went to the airport to get on the plane – he came over and cracked it in like 7 different places. For once on a flight, I didn’t have any back pain. He is one helluva cracker, so he is. Anyhow, I asked him to come crack me this week (tee hee) and he thought it was some desperate/pathetic ploy to get him to break his religious beliefs during Ramadan. CRACK me baybeeee! I had to tell him that I am actually not sleeping well because of my back pain (not because of The Anaconda). I digress. Anyhoo, the only time I am seeing him lately is in the “safe” company (so he thinks) of my gaggle of girlfriends (who are equally as dangerous). He doesn’t know it, but we have a conspiracy to drive him crazy during Ramadan which includes the use of props (lollipops, for example). It is shameless and corruptive and I don’t care: Game on. Why would anyone want to date me? tee hee.

I saw a guy at The Avenues yesterday wearing a T-shirt with a picture of a bride and groom. The caption underneath said, “Game Over.” I was staring and giggling and the loser thought I was trying to hit on him. OMG. He was 12. That is more like Slapperella or The Romanian’s style….

The Romanian got her hair cut in the States and it looks so cute! She has been putting it up in pigtails and she looks like a slutty schoolgirl. It’s adorable. A waitress told her that she looked like Britney. I told her that comment was above-and-beyond the boundaries of slutty. It’s Britney, bitch!

I have given up my apartment hunt until after Eid. I will start checking again then. I have 2 more rent-free months to go. If anyone has a villa that they want me to live in for free (preferably with a pool and a jacuzzi and a wide-screen and maybe the use of their Ferarri), please let me know. I am quite tidy.