Monday, February 04, 2008

Firemen, Policemen, and Dogs (oh my!)

We went to a gaada in Kabd on the dustiest night of the entire year (Thursday). I don’t know why, but whenever we venture to Kabd, we bring dust storms. We, as in The Romanian, Sheikha Minor, and I. My brigadier buddy who I’ve known for 27 years was supposed to show up (but didn’t) and he was the main reason I was going. He makes me laugh, but now that he’s a brigadier, he is too important to hang with me anymore.

No worries. There was a DAMN good looking guy (Ajmi Part Deux) there and The Romanian thought that she knew him from somewhere – like maybe he was from her x-husband’s family, so she sobered up immediately and started acting quite unlike herself (well-behaved). I ended up in an Absolute™ conversation with him – for some strange reason compelled to read his palm and tell him (accurately) about his life; obviously freaking him out – tee hee. A short time later, he and the Romanian were hugging and smiling (we share… NOT). Turns out, he spends almost all his summers in Romania and they had spent a lot of time (and her birthdays) together. Sometimes it is hard to remember people when you’re sobered up (or drunk) and they are wearing (their clothes) a qutara and aghal. Have you noticed that?

Anyhoooooo, it was a great night (even with the arrival of the ho’s) and we ended up eating GOOD machboos at 3 am.

The chalet where the Beautiful Dog (“Spike”) lives burnt down while we were up in Kabd (luckily – because the majority of our group is usually at that chalet, but Sheikha Minor had a fight with the boyfriend). Sheikha Minor thought it was a joke when she started getting SMSs from her boyfriend et al. that it was on fire. Spike is fine and should have been moved by now to another home. The fire department (MATAAAAAAFEEEEE) said that it was an electrical short circuit. One of the guys there immediately blamed it on his girlfriend/x-girlfriend/girlfriend. Why is it that the girlfriend always gets blamed????

Friday night, Sheikha Minor invited The Romanian, Sheikha Major, and I to another gaada (gee, might as well stay drunk all weekend, WTF) with some high-ranking police guys (don’t ask/don’t tell – and I don’t even know, so don’t bother). Apparently, highest-ranking police guy wasn’t aware that Sheikha Major was a major sheikha as he sat next to her trying to force her to kiss him whilst grabbing her butt…. Officer #3 (who I think was put in place basically to baby sit the other 2) literally flung him out of the room and he left without a word. AMF! It would have been hilarious, only we were all so PO’ed that he would think that he could get away with it. Ok, ok, it was hilarious later! I told Sh. Major that her ass is irresistible (apparently) to men… LOL. The other police dude seemed fascinated that I could make so many animal noises (stop thinking dirty! Every time he would look at me, I would make a different animal noise – we were drinking and I do a really cute goat!!!!). Anyways, now he is calling me (through Sheikha Minor) and expecting me to do the same, only sober. I hate it when I become the entertainment. Which gee, unsurprisingly, turns out to be quite often.

Speaking of being the entertainment… Saturday, a dude followed The Romanian and I all over Kuwait. I finally pulled over (after like 20 miles) to take his number (honestly – just so he would stop following us) and amazingly, he had a totally sexy voice and a face to match, so I ended up calling him; and then he called me like a whole lot of times. In yet another odd occurrence, it turned out that I know him. I met him a few years ago at a party (where I had some of the best saj I’ve ever had). Yes, I remember both him AND the saj. I still can’t remember whose house it was or who I went with. He gave me his number that night, but I only ended up calling him once and that was it. I think I met The Man shortly after that and I never spoke to him again. Dude trains police dogs (yes, there is a theme in my life: Dogs and policemen; and sometimes both).

Where is The Man anyways? I haven’t seen him in a long time. The Romanian thinks that he has turned mutawaa. Ok, if that is the truth, when/if I do see him, I am going to laugh until I pee. (Psychic Bedu’s prediction was something big in June of this year related to The Man…. ) Dude – where are you hanging out these days? Rigae? The Ramada? Someplace with cheaper sheesha and stikanas? Did you get a “fun” apartment with Bu Zega and the Other Bu Zega? What up?


Purgatory said...

Sheikha Minor sounds tempting, is she chubby :)?

Desert Girl said...

No, she's not chubby. She's slim and curvy (even after 7 kids)