Monday, November 26, 2007

"Friendly Skies" (NOT), Rants and Raves

Generally, I love United direct flights into Washington because they are so convenient for me. Unfortunately, I haven’t had good luck on them and last night (full moon), it was the worst. I guess (optimistically) that everything happens for a reason. But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

UA982 was even worse than the time I flew the now-defunct Air Florida into Orlando and it hit (what they called) an air pocket and dropped out of the sky for a while (several thousand feet). I don’t want to go into specifics about what happened on the United flight last night - because I am still trying to get my head around it and what I might do about it, but it was very very bad.

Most United direct flights are full of overweight American contractors. I always seem to get seated next to the largest. There was only one Kuwaiti family on the flight out and I didn’t see any Kuwaitis at all on the return flight (a Lebanese couple and several guys who I think were Iraqi interpreters.)

Stupid comments I overhead before/on/after the flight last night:

“I don’t want to change my dollars for 20 dinars. I won’t be in Kuwait that long to use it all.” What? You’re not going to have dinner or take a taxi?

“I don’t know how Kuwait is going to be for me this time as a civilian. I mean, I don’t have a security escort or anything.” (Said by a guy who was about the same size as a linebacker.) Ooooooh, scawy!

(A flight attendant when told she may have to go to Kuwait): “Kuwait! No way. Do they have to wear the veil there?” What the hell is “the veil” they keep talking about? Hejab? Niqab? What?

“I don’t want to go back.” Well, that should be simple: don’t.

“The porters cost 5 dollars.” (Said by one guy about to let Babu from KGL load his luggage onto a cart). Do I have to talk about cheapass people again? Don’t even get me started.

Ok, now that I started with my main rant, let me go on to the raves/positives of my Turkey Day trip:

Seeing my family was fantastic. I met my cousin, Sara, for the first time. She’s only 13, but stunningly beautiful and very sweet. My uncle and aunt didn’t stop talking during the entire time they were there. My uncle is OCD – even moreso than my sister. My sister was very relaxed and laid back the entire trip which was amazing because I thought she was going to blow a few times. My mother was just happy to see me. My nephew is taller than I am now and all muscle. We went to see him play a football game and my throat still hurts from shouting.

Our house looks great and the new back yard is amazing. It is going to be so nice during the summer to sit in the gazebo and drink wine and look at the pool.

I got there in time to still see some of the gorgeous foliage: the trees were gold and red and yellow – really amazingly pretty.

The weather was perfect – until it turned really cold.

I went to see the Worst Movie Ever: The Mist. NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WOULD BE SPIDERS!!! I had to get up and leave the cinema for a while during that scene. I couldn’t take it. My nephew laughed at me, the cad.

Black Friday: The day after Thanksgiving; the single largest retail day of the year. Sales.

Fall shoes. Cheap shoes. Cheap leather shoes.

The most earth shattering sex with an old boyfriend. (Just kidding. Maybe not. You’ll never know….)

Oh - here is a funny story: I went all the way downtown for darabeel and some Arabic pastries. Packed them up; brought them to the States for my uncle. My sister was upstairs and noticed the smaller of the 3 dogs, Lola, pacing up and down in front of my room. My sister thought that The Ghost was in there (I travel with one, apparently) and started to freak. Then, she heard the munching: the Big Stupid Dog, Bo, had broken through the bag, and through the taped box, and chowed down on all the pastries. Dumbass. Lola was trying to rat out Bo because he's always in trouble.

Raves about being back in Kuwait:

Seeing friends in Kuwait Customs and having them be nice to me and making me feel “home”.

Having my luggage arrive with me (unlike almost all BA flights).

Seeing Slapperella and The Romanian come to greet me.

Seeing Desert Dawg.

Colonel Boring who successfully managed (with some muckity-muck friend) to have the construction water pump removed from under my window. PEACE all night long. (It is so strange, but in the course of less than a week, they removed the pump AND filled in the Big Hole. I don’t know what they’re up to….)

My bidet.

My maid who takes such great care of me.

People at work who said how much they missed me and how the place isn’t the same without me (no, I am not in a capacity to help them get bonuses).

Daily morning phone-call-from-Bunny resumption.

Shawarma delivery.

The tea boy.


GEO said...

you get shawarma delivery?!!!




Desert Girl said...

Geo - are you in Kuwait? If you are - everywhere. If you're not - I can't help you with that one.

Sahafi said...

Hi Desertgirl

Can you please supply me with some contact info on some bidoons? I am a journalist from Denmark trying to bring some attention to the subject.

My emailadr. is

THX!!! :-)

Pinky said...

Glad you had a nice trip. You can't beat a bit of family time!!! (However, I must say that when they come to stay with you it's a different kettle of fish!- I have a friend that recons house guests are like fish, they start to smell after 3 days!)
The ever Random Pinky!!!!

Purgatory said...

Next time just go with Qatar Airways.

baby said...

welcome back sweety

Desert Girl said...

Sahafi - I have sent out a request for candidates through a post on the Desert Causes blog (

Random Pink - Thanks girlie. I heard that you are supposed to put guests in a room with the most uncomfortable bed in the house so they'll leave faster! LOL.

Purgy - Have you ever taken that flight or know of anyone who has? I'm just wondering if the transit is a PITA. On the bright side, it may be a way to expand my territory with Qatari men...

Thanks Baby baby! :) said...

Haha, speaking of air pockets, about 10 years ago we were on a flight from Bahrain to Malaysia and we hit a big one. The plane just fell and kept falling for a good 20 seconds.

We all figured we were going to die. Now that was some scary $^%$&...

Carly said...

Hey DG,
Sorry to hear that about your flight. I was thinking of flying United home this summer too. :(
Anyway, welcome 'home'?