Sunday, October 30, 2016

Con Artist

con artist
noun, informal
a person who cheats or tricks others by persuading them to believe something that is not true.

"the debonair con artist lives by scamming rich women"  (that’s their example, BTW…)

“You might think you can spot a con artist because he's someone you instinctively "don't trust." But the term con artist is short for confidence artist -- they gain your confidence just long enough to get their hands on your money.”

That’s what he is.  When I asked a family member, ‘What is it that I see in him?  He’s not all that.’  She answered with, “Charisma.” 

So I tried yet again to send him messages saying, ‘I really don’t want to ruin your life.  Please reconsider by making payments or whatever you need to do.’  He said, “You have a money problem or what?  Take me to court.”  Really?  It’s like that?  He’s sure of himself.  Arrogant little shit.

With a great deal of thought, I am going to register a case, but not with a lawyer.  They are just another layer of bullshit in my opinion.  Lawyers in Kuwait aren’t the same as they are other places in the world.  And if you thought they were shady in other places in the world – Kuwait makes other lawyers in the world look like angels. 

I called a friend to verify exactly what date our business deal took place.  She and her husband witnessed the money changing hands because Asshole was there.  It was about a week before he dumped me.  That week was when things started to go bad.   Like him accusing me of being controlling; him spending a lot more time with friends and a lot less with me.  And now that I know him – I can tell his lying tone of voice and he was using that one. 

Those who know me have asked what is really motivating me to register a case (“It’s not money, then what?”)  Well, it’s like this.  Up until last week, I thought it was all my fault.  My confidence was brought down to a point where I really thought I was to blame for the break up.  I was too difficult.  too stubborn.  Too controlling.  

(Thank God, I'm not stupid enough to take out a loan in my name for him like he asked me to do - as he wanted a LEXUS.... It really pissed him off when I refused.  I was really a "difficult woman" then....)

He was a “good man who wanted a good woman.”  Yup.  He wants a good woman:  800 on one social media account that I found and more on others.  What is the definition of a “good woman”?  His next mark, most likely.

Having found the accounts, I could see that he never took us seriously.  It was all planned to get money.   There was no mention of me anywhere, yet there was a whole lot of poignant poetry for other women.  There were references during the timeframe when we were together.  Times when he had me absolutely convinced that his love was real.  I was totally confident at one point; ergo the con artist.  He painted a really nice picture of what our life was going to be like; then took the money and ran.  

I can afford to drop it.  Let it go. Move on.  But no.  Not gonna do it.  I get into a rage every time I think of his smarmy, laughing-at-me attitude.  It delights him that he got away with it. 

My question is this:  How many Kuwaiti girl/women is he doing this to?  On his social media accounts, they are all young and pretty.  Some are married. He mentioned to me that a married woman had “helped him” before with money (in other words – gave him money), but that her husband had put a recording device in her car and busted them.  Her dad told her to go back to her husband (they have 2 children).  I found her through his Twitter account and all her tweets are about how heartbroken she is.  I think I’m pretty worldly. I’ve been through a lot of BS with a lot of unscrupulous people.  I fell for his shit.  What about these girls?  They’re not going to go to the police and file cases.  They would be embarrassed. Their families would be embarrassed. They would just let it go.  I don’t have those restrictions.  Zero fucks given.

I talked to his dad and he told me to do whatever I want. His words were, “put him in the fire.” So obviously, he knows what kind of a scumbag his son is.  His sister still isn’t talking to me.  I will miss her.

Things are starting to click in my head.  Little details that are coming back; warning signs that I should have picked up on.  Like the time he took me to the movies and a bunch of his friends were going.  One of the friends told him (in Arabic, probably thinking that I wouldn’t understand) to, “… get her to pay for us.”  Obviously, he’s been bragging.  Other times, he got really angry when I saw what was on his phone screen or asked where he was.  Supposedly, at the time, he said that he was taking it for a lack of privacy.  But he over reacted every time I questioned him on anything. 

Con artist usually move on quickly to the next mark because they know their victims are getting suspicious.  That’s what happened.  As soon as the business deal was over, asshole went looking for a way out.   He found something small and made it huge and flipped it on me.  How do liars do it?  They practice.  A LOT. 

Some of you might think I’m saddened by all this.  Nope.  I got over that feeling.  I’m angry.  REALLY angry.  Angry at myself.  Angry at him. And that is what is going to propel me to do something about it. Legally. He made a conscious decision to work my conscience and win my trust.  I’m making a conscious decision to nail his ass.

The great thing is that I have exact addresses, copies of all his IDs, witnesses, and more.  All the evidence I need.  


Anonymous said...

*chants* court court court

Anonymous said...

Dear Desert Girl,

I think you need to list all the reasons you think why you're doing this. I mean revenge. It is OK to call it that. Then face yourself with the main reason why you want to take him to court.

You see, incidents like that can be very painful. But the pain/anger/sadness take a long time because we re-live the moments of this particular incident. But if we chose not to look back, it won't hurt as much.

A few things I would like to share:

* Everything starts small, then grows bigger. Except for pain, it start big, then it shrinks with time. Thank God for our damaged memory ;)
* Imagine if you found out that he died, would this scam really matter?
* Any reaction is an action. So no reaction means it's insignificant.
* Ten years from now, would this really matter? Then why do you have to wait for all these years to let-go of your pain/sadness/anger/whatever negative emotion you're having.
* Every person you cross path with, you learn something from him/her and it happens for a reason. You might not realise it now, but faith will make you trust that there is a GOOD reason why all of this happened.
* Finally, let's say you went to court, you humiliated him, F*&#d his career/future, and won, would that really make you satisfied?

Hope you find peace!

Mimi said...

He's an arse who needs someone to face up to him. It isn't the money, it's a matter of principle, he shouldn't get away with shit like this. Sue the hell out of him girl!

Desert Girl said...

Anonymous Oct 31 at 8:55.

I have looked at the scenario from many different angles.

What is my main reason for doing this? Because he got one over on me, laughed at me, blamed me, and I want at least partial payment.

Would it satisfy me to win? No. But this is actually the second time he has done something like this to me and I believe firmly that he is doing it to other women.

Sure pain shrinks with time. That's nice. But who is feeling pain when mine shrinks? The next unsuspecting woman.

Should it be allowed to continue? Should I lie down and take it? I don't think so. His own father and sister have both told me that he's a con man.

If he died, would this issue matter? No. And I would be sad for him because he WAS someone that I loved. But it still wouldn't make swindling me any different.

Thanks for you comment.

Xtina said...

I think you should stop dating Kuwaitis. I'm not a racist (yes I am) and I have nothing against the arab way of dating (yes I do), but Kuwaitis are on a whole another level. Look around you and try to recall the last decent Kuwaiti man that you met and got to know that was an all around good person.. very rare to find these days! it's like they don't have a moral compass in life.. even among the 'happily married' and 'faithful' ones, you'll find that half of them have their own apartments, multiple girlfriends on the side, they're gay/bisexual, divorced with a kid or two, etc.. Marriage commitment for them is different than it is for us.. regardless of how good the guy's background is, what family he's from, or if you're best friends with his sister - she will unfriend you in a heartbeat - because at the end of the day they know that you're not "one of them".. and you're not, and take that as a blessing..

that was a long post :D .. oh, you should sue him, just cause you can .. get your money, teach him a lesson, which in turn will only make you stronger and it will be a reminder for the future that you shouldn't trust people easily to go into business ventures with them.

Desert Girl said...

Thanks Xtina. I hear ya. I came here 20 years ago after my AMERICAN x boyfriend of 4 years had been cheating on me most of the time and lying about it. He was a shit too. The world is full of shits - different country, different shits. But I get it.

Desert Girl said...

I talked to my Bidoon (stateless) friend last night. He said, "This is going to cause him a LOT of trouble. They are going to give him a really hard time every time he has to go to the Bidoon council for any little thing." Me, 'Ok but what do you think I should do? Is it too mean for me to do?' Him, "HELL NO. File a case. You weren't mean. He was mean. He chose to do this to you and then was mean to you still. And it isn't the first time DO IT." Thanks, Bunny. You are a no bullshit kinda guy and always cut right through the fog.

Anonymous said...

You SHOULD sue him and then spend the money you'll hopefully get back on a vacation to completely forget about all this and reset.

Anonymous said...

Go Desert Girl. Nail him !

Desert Girl said...

He's posted a photo of a Lexus interior on his Twitter account. Maybe it belongs to some little thang that he's duping now. Or maybe it is to attract more women. He really wants that Lexus bad....

Desert Girl said...

I filed the case. It was REALLY easy.

I shouldn't have gone through lawyers before on the tenancy case. The people at the court were very helpful and walked me through everything.

I still feel kind of bad (not too much, but a little). If I feel like someone is laughing at/mocking me; that is a game changer. He intentionally did this. I know that now. So, he should just give me back what he owes me and that's it. I even discounted the amount.

Malik Umair said...

Stay strong and go get him!

michelle hill said...

I agree with your assessment and plan. It reminds me of that mean that I see out there on the internet. There's somebody devil person laughing At a girl saying you can't handle the storm... And then you see her saying I am the storm. That is you. You are the storm. Make him never forget what he messed with. This may not be the most processed thinking but you have given him chance after chance and now it's time for him to learn a lesson and you're just the girl to do it

Divine-Intervention said...

Would love to kick his ass.. free of charge.. what an asshole

Divine-Intervention said...

Actually scratch that.. id pay you for me to kick his ass..

Desert Girl said...

Divine-Intervention - write to me!!! :) I have money.... :)

Desert Girl said...

Hey anonymous: Fuck off. It is assholes like you that make me not post so much anymore. Actually, I thought I took the anonymous option off this blog. If you don't have anything positive to say (and you didn't so I deleted it), don't say it. I'm sick of fucktards like you thinking that you are so much better than others that you can take out whatever resentful projective bullshit you have going on, on someone else - anonymously. Really? Some things never do change. If you don't like what I have to say, don't fucking read my blog. I don't need the negativity. Have a great day with lots of love.