Thursday, April 30, 2015

Assmonkey Landlord

I moved out completely yesterday.  Given the eviction notice on March 25 and moved out on April 29.  (Pretty quick if you ask me - by Kuwait standards).  Legally, I didn't HAVE to move out until January 1 of 2016.  But - can't live under constant physical and emotional threats.

I do not have a home yet, but I will find something.  I'm not concerned.  I'm staying with my BFF. We gossip. I sleep in a totally comfortable, quiet and secure room.  I know my kids are ok.  And tomorrow - I will start driving my own car again and give back the BigBadBedouinTruck (although I have thoroughly enjoyed driving that wrecking ball of badass machinery!)

Assmonkey is now playing silly games about returning the security deposit.  Now, I know that might SHOCK some of you (that I actually think that I would get my security deposit back....)  To most landlords here, a security deposit just translates to extra money for them.

Cool thing is that  you don't have to clean to get  your security deposit back.  Need I say more?  I left with dignity, but I'm not going to wash the floors either.  (I should have saved some of that dog poo that they threw at my  door...)  Alas, that would have been beneath me.

Anyhooser,  I have a lawyer who is completely authorized to act on my behalf.  I'm not doing squat.  Let them collect the money.

Assmonkey told us that he has a lawyer.  He provided his name and a false phone number to me.  Nice to drop names (because apparently Assmonkey KNOWS a lawyer, but just hasn't actually retained him.)  Ha!  Cheap.  Then Assmonkey has said that I need to deal with his mother and his sister from now on (because he's a REAL man and has his mommy do things for him).  I giggle. AssmonkeyMom and AssmonkeySister's  names are not on my rental contract:  His is.  Whatever the assmonkey family has done to me; he will answer for.

Assmonkey also wanted me to sign an agreement that I would not pursue any additional legal action against him or his family.  Now that thar is the funniest thang I've ever heard!  He so fun-neeee.  The criminal suit can play itself out.  I believe the police involvement and their level of anger over how I was treated/threatened is enough to keep that ball rolling without too much intervention. And then there is the civil suit:  I signed a "No KY" clause to allow my peeps to go after whatever they can, however long it takes, whatever it takes.

I am now closing the door on this chapter and thinking of positive things.


11 May Update

They said I stole their refrigerator.  That is the latest reason they provided for not returning my 400kd security deposit.  Well, Assmonkeys... it's like this.  In 2007, my sister bought a $10,000 over-the-top gorgeous refrigerator for her home in Virginia.  I had fridge-envy, so I searched Kuwait high and low to find a (much cheaper alternative) similar stainless-steel refrigerator.  I found it.  That was SEVEN years ago.  Assmonkeys are so CHEAP that they want to quibble over a refrigerator.  Phuck them!  They are so unprofessional that they never asked me to sign an inventory listing; which means, I can state that they stole "my" dishwasher, washer/dryer, and stove.  Turn-around is fair play.

I wasn't there for the final inspection/walk through.  I refused.  I'm paying a lawyer (God bless her) and she represented me (I was out of town anyways).  She did the walk through.  Assmonkey wasn't there; he sent his mother, sister (the hariss) and psycho brother.  They all wanted to tell stories/lies to my lawyer again.  She wasn't having it.  She did the inspection with them - all normal wear and tear after 6 years - and took the keys with her to deposit with the court.

Now, I'm sure that Assmonkeys have already broken into the apartment.  That is a matter for the court to take up with them.  As it is in dispute, it is illegal for them to enter the apartment until the court makes a determination and they (Assmonkey himself) go to the court, pay the security deposit, and take ownership of the keys/apartment.  I hope my lawyer goes to the apartment and witnesses their illegal entry and discusses it in court.

The criminal case is still pending.

Assmonkeys did tell my lawyer that they plan to gut the apartment.  This translates to they are going to make it into smaller bedrooms so that a family can move in for more money.  [God willing, the Assmonkey family will hire a cheap contractor (or not pay them at all) and the contractor will knock out a load-bearing wall and they'll all be down there at the same time and crushed to death. ]

KUWAIT!  If you are not going to allow foreigners to buy property in Kuwait, you need to start creating and enforcing fair and decent tenancy laws.  

Not everyone has the salary I do.  Not everyone can afford lawyers when this type of blatantly criminal activity against innocent tenants takes place.

1 comment:

SciGuy said...

I stumbled upon your blog while googling stuff about Kuwait and I would like to say its quite entertaining. well the Assmonkey story was, but I'm sure it wasn't a walk in the park for you. Anyway new in Kuwait still trying to figure out the concrete desert and just wanted to applaud your humor. Blog Away!