Tuesday, June 20, 2006

118 Degrees, Sweet Potatoes and Circus Sex

I would love to have something highly intelligent and interesting to say (do you ever, Desert Girl?), but alas it is summer in Kuwait and I don't.

Big news is that Sultan Center at Souq Sharq has BIG American sweet potatoes.

And I hurt my leg during circus sex (yes, it was worth it).

It is a balmy 118 degrees (don't ask me centigrade because I'm 'merican and I refuse to learn metric because it is WRONG and would fly in the face of everything patriotic). Anyhoo, mere sweater weather here until July or August. I actually found myself shivering last night at Palm Palace; ok it was because they had the AC down to sub-zero temperatures (again – imperial system) because everybody, their younger brothers, and their uncles were out watching the stupid World Cup and smoking the last legal drug in Kuwait, sheesha. I have had to pretend that I like soccer because 1) The Man loves it and it is the only way I can ever see him (how pathetic is THAT?) and B) when The Man isn't around and I'm out with my Bluetooth-crazed-fanatic girlfriends, we still have to go places where there are mens and they are all sitting in front of the World Cup. So, we go and ooooh and aaaaah and fain interest when someone scores a goal.

Back in high school, I used to know what the hell "off sides" means, but since that really mean Brazilian diplomat kid kicked me in the shin ON PURPOSE in 10th grade, I stopped playing soccer and lost all interest. The Brazilian guy was a real bastard and 20/20 (American news TV show incase you don't know) had a segment on him for shooting someone in DC at a bar several years later which led the US Government to look into diplomatic immunity laws. He also used to deal cocaine out of the back of his dad's limo on the high school grounds. America – you gotta love democracy.

Bluetooth! My friend, Slapperella, has so many men from Bluetooth that she can't remember who is who when they call, so she has resorted to telling them all the same thing, at the same period in time. She's been a "good girl" so far, but she may slip sometime into a life of debauchery. She's like a little pixie flying here and there spreading merriment through Bluetooth transmission and pictures of her FMPs (do we all know what that means, children, or must I spell it out?)

Where do you find the best Bluetooth places in Kuwait are? Our plan has been to park outside of an election tent one night…

And while we are on the subject of the erections…. Uh… I mean elections…. I was chatting with Kuwaiti Chopper Dude and he reminded me of how proud I am of the Kuwaitis who actually want to DO something to end the corruption in the country. This is the first year I have seen people actually organizing against it – and many of them are younger people who want to initiate the change. I think it will take years, but as long as people are angry/passionate about it, eventually things will change. I haven't heard how people feel about the women who are running. Any different perspective is good: The Kuwaiti government has been unbalanced because you need a different gender's perspective. Women and men think differently. I think that when there are more women in the government, laws will change affecting social issues as well.

I've been going out a lot with Slapperella and The Romanian. They both get along really well for some reason – probably because we have the same interests and a lot of things in common (food and sexy handsome men). I would have thought it was a strange combination (Scottish, Romanian, American), but we have a great friendship. (It's all fine and good until someone loses an eye.)

My sister sent me a note saying that my dad's inheritance money should be coming through this week. I haven't been able to deal with this well. I have had mixed feelings about it and I don't like the whole idea of getting money because someone I love has died. It feels wrong. I am terrible with money anyways. That's not to say that I won't find something to do with it – and I know my dad would have wanted me to – but it just feels bad. Let's just say that if I were Anna Nicole Smith, I would have given up that court case and gone back to the trailer park a long time ago. She'd probably have met a nice tattooed guy by now if she had – instead of guys who want her for her (boobs) money.

7 comments:

Purgatory said...

what is circus sex?

Mark said...

what is FMPs?

Desert Girl said...

Purgatory and Mark - you two are ganging up on me. I love it.

Circus sex - use your imagination.
FMP's F*%k Me Pumps (shoes) but I guess you knew that. Thanks for asking, so I could elaborate. :D

Anonymous said...

strange you mentioned bluetooth. my mother called me from egypt & asked me to 'bluetooth your baby niece's pictures raht dis mi-nut!'

right, mom.

Nice blog, wasted the last hour of work reading your stuff. You should be up on Comedy Central ;)

Purgatory said...

I still have no clue

Purgatory said...

I found this link

Desert Girl said...

Purgatory - AWESOME link. Carmen fascinates me. LOL.

Mini - Your ma is high-tech, girl! My mother still has trouble finding the "green key" on her mobile. (Love you mom). Sorry you spent so much of your time reading my trash. At least you got paid for the hour! I don't think Comedy Central would want me. Dave Chappelle thinks they are too commercial.