Since my Rumaithiya Apartment Ordeal of 2015, I have become somewhat of a hermit. My apartment isn't really what I would want it to be for entertaining. Small living room. Kind of weird entrance.... very quiet building where I can hear my neighbors and I'm sure they can hear me.... My former apartment was da bomb for gatherings and having people over. No question. It had a lovely terrace and a huge open plan living/dining/kitchen area. It was in the basement so no one could really hear me. Easy private entrance where no one could see comings and goings.
Note: I still hate those former landlord people. I shouldn't carry that negative energy around, but I do. If they had only told me that they wanted more money, I would have paid it. I paid 450. I would have gone up to 7. Monsters! You didn't have to threaten and terrorize me! Anyways, bygones.
Really, I see what that did to me. It put me into a kind of PTSD where I am worried about who I can and can't trust here. And I didn't want to socialize anymore. When you go through some really awful, traumatic stuff in your life, you immediately find out who your friends are and who they are not. The people that I thought I could trust and depend on the most suddenly disappeared or inflicted additional drama on me. I lost who I considered to be very good friends in 2015. And I consider it all a blessing. The truth may hurt, but at least I saw it.
Cut to 2017.
I get invited by friends or distant friends or even acquaintances quite often. Most often, I turn down the invitations in favor of staying home in the peaceful comfort of my apartment with my dog and my cat. Yeah, that's some old lady shit, isn't it? But it's true. It doesn't take much to push me out of my comfort zone these days; even something as silly as, 'How far do I have to park away from your house?' And then if it is too far or too inconvenient, I find an excuse. I'm making constant mental excuses to just stay home all the time. And that's wrong.
I'm an active person (ok, well, used to be. I guess mid-2016 was kind of my cut-off point for activity). I used to go to parties. I used to go to business functions. I used to do a lot of things. (And I used to have a lot more to post about here. When you are doing routine things like K9 training or surfing Apple TV for movies, there really isn't a lot of material, is there?)
Now, I reason in my head about how much traffic/road rage there will be just leaving my neighborhood. Should I really bother?
Recently, while at my favorite salon, Mirror Mirror, I met the new Executive Director of the American Business Council of Kuwait, Teresa. She was kind and bubbly and literally talked me into attending an ABCK function. I hadn't been in several years. The owner of Mirror Mirror, Wendy (who has become a really dear friend) said she was going as well and wanted me to join her (she ended up paying for my ticket and I thought that was so sweet!). Anyways, I went and saw people I hadn't seen in years. I had a great time. It was held at the Millenium Hotel and it was my first time there. The food was FABULOUS and I was really impressed by the hotel. And - BTW - the ABCK has changed a lot. There is a new female Chairwoman and it is no longer the old white dude in blue suit organization that it used to be. They have a lot more activities and the whole vibe was good. Thank you, Wendy and Teresa, for pulling me out.
That was my first social outing. Baby steps, Desert Girl....
My second outing was last night. Kim (from Ladies Who Do Lunch in Kuwait blog) has been inviting me for (no joke) maybe the past 3 years. Being Hermit Girl, I found excuses when I could have just pushed myself to go. Last night, I accepted a dinner invitation and I'm so glad. She's got a lovely family and her apartment was more like a comfortable villa somewhere. It was gorgeous and the whole night was lovely. I'm so glad I went and even though we talked for what - maybe 5 hours - I still felt like I could have continued (but had to work today!).
These occasions have given me hope for myself. Maybe all is not lost. Maybe I can actually push myself to do more. It's a start.