Friday, January 08, 2016

Why is your dog so aggressive?

OMG - if I hear this question one more time, I am going to scream.

This stupid question is usually asked by women.  I don't know - maybe guys think a girl with a big scary dog is cool and women don't?  I tend to see more men smile at me when they see my dog having an uncontrollable fit.  Like they want to come to my rescue.  Why the blame from the women?  It's like they're telling me they're a better parent than I am.  (I don't say anything about your shitty brats while I'm in Walmart, do I??)

Mikey goes apeshit when he's on a leash around other dogs.  If he's off-leash, he runs around like a playful puppy with all the other furry friends.  But - he really just wants to play and he acts "inappropriately" by looking like a viscious tazmanian devil; foaming at the mouth, back-hair up, barking and pulling.

I get totally street cred from dudes when I slam him to the ground and push his face down (the latest of a very long list of techniques I have been trying - as advised by many many many trainers).  This body-slam technique seems to be having the best affect so far.

He was shtanky so I took him to PetZone yesterday to get bathed (Why?  Because he weighs a lot and it is really hard on my back and my bathroom when I wash him at home.)  Plus - for 12 KD, PetZone does a mani/pedi, ear cleaning and trim.  I don't do all that.

Mikey wasn't feeling good because the night before, he got into the trash and ate a little alluminum foil that had been wrapping a piece of chicken. The results were a tummy ache (oh and some barf and nasty poos).  Mikey + tummy trouble = barking.  So.... he did.... the entire time.

The only time he stopped barking and was quiet and submissive was when the groomer cleaned out his anal gland (5 KD extra for that - much more on the street).  He seemed to enjoy that and we couldn't stop laughing.  Mind you - not something that I am likely to try in a crowd of people at a dog-gathering or the like, but still got him to be quiet for about 10 minutes.

"Why is your dog so aggressive?"  (Obviously has nothing to do with anal gland cleaning....)

WTF do people think?  That I fight him or something? That he wants to eat other dogs? That I've trained him to pull my L4 and L5 out of alignment just for shits and giggles?

Sorry, not sorry.

If I had been a better mother, I would have known how to train him off-leash at 2 months old like I should have.  But I didn't.  So F off judgmental mothers!

"Why is your dog so aggressive?"

In answer to that stupid question, I have come up with different answers.  (and perhaps you can assist me by providing me with more responses.)"

He is still very upset about Bill Cosby.  He liked Pudding Pops.
His mother and father were first cousins.  (ooooh, no I di' int!!!)
He's gassy today.
He doesn't like your face.
It was a long trip over here from the border.
He was watching Trump on TV.



3 comments:

AG said...

LOL 'his mom and dad....' hilarious!

Don't feel bad, he's behaving like a dog. They all behave differently. My best friend has a GSD, never trained him, and he's the most well behaved dog you would ever see. Ours create such chaos I'm surprised we're allowed back to the dog park... and I do train them (poorly apparently). Ignore those idiots who have probably never had a dog and certainly couldn't properly care for one.

Anonymous said...

Your GSD is still young and will exhibit exuberant behaviour for a few more years yet. The only way to take some of the ergs out of him is to wear him out e.g. take him for a 4km run every day.
Otherwise just try to ignore those stupid women and their comments.
On a lesser note I doubt Mikey is anything like the fierce Tasmanian Devil which incidentally is from Tasmania (like me) the island state of Australia and not to be confused with Tanzania in Africa.

michelle hill said...

GSDs stay in their lively puppy phase for a long time. Curse and blessing. God bless you for taking Mikey on, screw everyone else.