Monday, April 02, 2007

Ya Ma Owed

Have you ever really wanted to trash someone on your blog and you just couldn’t do it because you are too phuckin classy? That’s my problem.

Recently, I have been told that I’m ugly by someone I cared about dearly. But perhaps the person who calls a person ugly is ugly, n’est pas? So sayeth my sister who is a slayer of mean people everywhere. I have been running around trying to collect affirmations. Coming from anyone else, I am sure it wouldn’t have stung me, but I have also found that he has told other people that I am ugly too. Those of you who know me – do you think I’m ugly? Shut the F up - I am too self-confident, but no woman wants to hear this kind of crap from a man they love/d. And no - I'm not going to lower myself to saying anything herein regarding his physical SHORTcomings. I wouldn't do that. I'm way too phuckin classy.

Have you ever really wanted just to haul off and bitch-slap someone, but you know you couldn’t do it because you are too phuckin classy? That’s also my problem.

I don’t talk about people’s personal appearance (unless you have 3 boobs or something and then I can’t help myself) because my parents taught me better. In fact, I often don’t even remember what a person looked like beyond their eyes – because that is what I look at to determine what kind of a person they are. Do I miss things? Hell yes – and that is why I usually bring my girlfriends who will nit-pick a person to death starting with their shoes and girth of their fingers. Thank God – they have been my saving graces on a few occasions.

Anyhow, I know that a lot of things in life I just deserve because it is karma; what bad things I have done will eventually come around to bite me when I don’t expect it. Apparently, this is one of those occasions.

What I am really trying to say – Ya ma owed - Inta sh’aku?

Ok – on to another more pleasant subject: I got my new car. I lie. My sister “buys me” a new car every several years for me (her) to use during the one month of the year that I am there. I don’t even know if she’ll allow me to drive this one, however. It is big-bad-black Merc with the AMG package. I can smell the new-car-interior now….

I had the opportunity to hang out with Psychic Bedu recently. What a teddy bear. I just adore him. I want to hug him all the time. You know - sometimes God just brings you people to make you feel PRETTY. Sometimes God also brings you people who you just want to hug all the time.

Bunny has been really supportive lately. (He makes me feel PRETTY too.) He worries about me. He’s my knight on a white stallion (ok, Caprice). Like he says, “You are one of my flock and I feel like it is my duty to protect you.” I know – aaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww, right? Yup.

Did any of you see that cruel stunt in the Kuwait Times yesterday? BASTARDS. It was even funnier because one of my friends in the Emir’s office forwarded it to me before I heard about it in the paper. That is just SO WRONG. Here it is: ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT


Alcohol legal in Kuwait
Published Date: April 01, 2007


KUWAIT: In a surprise move aimed at fostering tourism, Kuwait's government announced yesterday that alcohol would be legalised in Kuwait starting May 25 after more than 40 years of prohibition. Alcohol will be available only in five star establishments or at state liquor outlets and sold only to non-Muslim expatriates holding a liquor-consuming ration cards. Each expatriate will be allowed five bottles of liquor or 100 bottles of beer per month at government regulated stores. Any Muslim caught buying or consuming alcohol will face stiff penalties.

In December 1964, Kuwait's government banned all liquor within its borders following a series of drunken driving fatalities, primarily of citizens. Prohibition triggered a flourishing underground bootlegging trade both in smuggled alcohol and bathtub gin.

This past week, international beverage firm Eastern Liquors has won the sole distribution license and will be partnering with local establishments for sales and marketing. EL is a regional leader in beverage distribution, with operations in Abu Dhabi, Dubai, Doha and Manama.

Sources within the security forces told Kuwait Times that a special squad of 225 local police have already undergone training in the United Arab Emirates and Britain for handling drunk drivers. Persons caught driving while intoxicated face up to five years in jail and a KD 10,000 fine.
Establishments that will be licensed to sell alcohol include ...

Continued on Page 8...


Happy April Fools’ Day
- Kuwait Times

10 comments:

Purgatory said...

What do you have aganist people with three boobs?

Jewaira said...

you're beautiful :)

U.E. said...

That beauty is subjective and "in the eye of the beholder" is time tested truth. Class, however, is quite calcuable and it's clear this nimrod had NONE.

Desert Girl said...

Purg - Thar ya go fantasizing again!

U.e. ... wow. Thank you.

Love you, Jewaira!

Purgatory said...

Why do you think I like chubby women :P

Unknown said...

were you there in 1995-96? If so, did you hang out with the United Nations guys? I had a friend who was there then and told me about all the parties they had (since they had access to tons of alcohol)...sounded like Club Med...

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

What nationality is the 18 year old that married the 38 year old pilot? I know quite a few guys stationed in Kuwait who met flight attendants working there and dumped their American wives for them. Seems a lot of Irish and British girls were/are green card hunters!

Desert Girl said...

Just me - I didn't know any of the UN people in those days, but I watched as they carried in CASES of alcohol. Some of them also got busted for selling their rations. The pilot is Bahraini and so is his wife. If I were a wife with a husband moving to this part of the world alone, I would just say, "waaa HEEEELL no!" too much temptation over here in Sodom & Gamora... I have seen it end quite a few marriages.

Anonymous said...

towels over heads